【Oh oh oh! Got it! He must think your serial life-threatening calls are too annoying, figured you’re the type who lacks companionship and love, so he just shoved a robot at you!】
【The hidden meaning is: stop bothering me!】
“Oh,” she looked at the system, “you really are a smart system, a great system, the crystallization of human wisdom.”
The system: 【Ugh~ I’m shy (✿◡‿◡)】
“Hello, Song Shuangzhi,” Little Snail walked over. Though its voice sounded like a child, its tone was as rigid and formal as Tan Siyan’s. “How was your day?”
With a buzz, a message from Tan Siyan arrived.
【Hello, Song Shuangzhi, are you busy today?】
Song Shuangzhi replied honestly: 【Hello, Chief Judge Tan, I’m not busy today.】
Labubu climbed onto her lap, Grandpa Niu sat on her shoulder, Hututu sprawled at her feet, and she hugged Qionghaha as she sighed at Little Snail.
“I’m so tired…”
“My mom and dad…”
“The court…”
…
At the same time in The Hague.
Tan Siyan sat in front of his computer. On his phone was her reply, “not busy today,” while on his screen was her holding a little kitten, complaining and venting to him.
Her face was puffed up, the kind that made one want to pinch it, or perhaps inflate it a little.
His phone rang.
Yanyan: 【Don’t forget to brush your teeth.】
Zhizhi: 【Don’t worry (*￣︶￣)】
Yet through Little Snail’s eyes, he saw her toss her phone onto the carpet and turn to groom the kitten.
Little Snail: “Song Shuangzhi, don’t sit on the floor, you’ll catch a chill.”
Song Shuangzhi: “Can you switch modes? I don’t want ‘Tan Siyan mode.’”
In his office in The Hague, Tan Siyan’s fingers tensed.
Yanyan: 【How long did you brush?】
Zhizhi: 【Four minutes (-^O^-)】
She clearly hadn’t brushed at all, yet she was lying without a second thought.
No one had ever dared to deceive him like this.
He hated lies the most.
And yet, looking at the little expression she sent, the anger in his chest deflated like a punctured balloon, silently dissipating.
The system: 【Zhibao, you’re so dedicated! Even without a mission, you still know how to use your cute expressions to disgust and torment him!】
【A cold, rigid old-fashioned man like him must be staring at his phone right now like an old man on the subway, thinking you’re pretending to be cute, acting coy, and absolutely annoying!】
Song Shuangzhi: (＾－＾)V Yay! So professional!
Little Snail: “Song Shuangzhi, it seems like you’re lying.”
Song Shuangzhi: “What does a dumb AI like you know?” She reached out, her slender fingers drawing closer.
Far away in The Hague, Tan Siyan watched that soft hand, his Adam’s apple rolling unconsciously…
“Thunk!” Song Shuangzhi flicked its forehead.
Although she flicked the robot, its core was Tan Siyan. He unconsciously touched his own forehead.
That spot seemed to burn.
Song Shuangzhi said fiercely, “Don’t call me Song Shuangzhi.”
Little Snail: “Then what should I call you?”
Song Shuangzhi: “Of course, Mom. Labubu is your eldest brother, Grandpa Niu is your second sister, Hututu is your third brother, and Qionghaha is your fourth sister.” She stood with her hands on her hips, a bit domineering. “You’re the fifth. Little Snail doesn’t sound nice. Based on seniority, you should be called…”
She puffed her cheeks. “Bao Guai.”
Tan Siyan: …
Song Shuangzhi: “Call me Mom.”
Little Snail pressed its lips together. Though it looked like a round, cute little boy, Song Shuangzhi somehow saw Tan Siyan’s shadow in it.
Forget it, she didn’t dare push further. This was the big shot’s robot.
She stretched lazily, preparing to tidy up and go to sleep.
Yanyan: 【You ate something sweet.】
Zhizhi: 【No, I didn’t.】
Little Snail: “There’s sticky rice cake on your teeth.”
Song Shuangzhi immediately covered her mouth.
“System baby!” she clutched herself. “How does Tan Siyan know I ate sweets?”
A little paranoid, she looked around. “Did he install cameras?”
“While installing the light strips yesterday, he probably set up several cameras too, secretly watching me!” She stared at Little Snail, her voice trembling. “Can he control Little Snail too? Being so attentive for no reason… is he trying to spy on me?!”
In The Hague, Tan Siyan’s face turned slightly pale.
His fingers pressed into his fingertips.
【Zhibao, I really want to give you some of my inferiority complex…】
【You think a chief judge of the International Court, so busy he doesn’t even have time to eat, would install cameras just to spy on you from The Hague, hide inside a robot shell, and be forced by you to call you ‘Mom’?】
Song Shuangzhi pictured his deeply defined yet serious face in her mind…
“I might be a little too narcissistic…” she admitted to the system. “I’ll share some with you.”
She stopped overthinking, and Tan Siyan narrowly escaped disaster.
He opened his notebook.
On the title page: That snail.
Chocolate ✔️
Carrot ✔️
…
Sweet and sour chicken drumsticks ✔️
Matcha ✔️
Red bean sticky rice cake ✔️✔️✔️
…
Lying ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
“Tan, this is my wife.” A tall French man pushed the door open. Tan Siyan closed his notebook.
“Hello, Tan Siyan.” He extended his hand politely.
His French colleague Pierre handed him a wedding invitation. “We’re getting married next week, you must come.”
Tan Siyan felt that everyone seemed to carry the aura of marriage lately. Lu Xinghe and Ke Jin were getting married too.
He smiled and nodded.
Then his gaze fell on a small charm hanging from the bride-to-be’s bag.
White, ugly, fierce-looking, baring its teeth. It looked exactly like the ones on Song Shuangzhi’s wall, except she didn’t have the rare pure white one.
His assistant had said she really wanted it.
“Hey, man,” Pierre laughed, “even if my wife is pretty, you can’t stare like that.”
“Your wife isn’t as pretty as mine,” Tan Siyan said seriously, as if it were an undeniable truth, even more certain than the Constitution or international law. “Where did you buy that bag charm?”
Pierre frowned. “To you, your wife is the Constitution, of course she’s the prettiest.”
His fiancée, Sophia, smiled. “It was a popular collectible a few months ago, but it’s not trendy anymore. This one is a hidden edition. I liked it, so I bought out the stock.”
Tan Siyan’s gaze turned cold.
No wonder that little snail had practically dismantled its fingers and still couldn’t get one.
“You like it too?” Sophia smiled and handed it over. “I’ll give it to you.”
“No need.” He lost interest, his voice returning to its usual cold indifference. “My girl doesn’t need secondhand items.”
After seeing Pierre off, he instructed his assistant,
“In the name of Tan Corporation, contact the manufacturer and produce a similar one.” In his mind flashed her bright, delicate smile, the tear mole under her eye making her resemble a pampered little Tom cat. “Add a tear mole on the face as a hidden edition.”
The assistant didn’t understand. “The popularity of this toy has already passed. No one wants it anymore. Everyone is clearing stock, and the manufacturer won’t resume production…”
His deep voice carried a magnetic firmness.
“Name your price. I like it.”
After a full day of work at the International Court, Tan Siyan looked at his promotion notice and fell into thought.
The president had complained that his wife was constantly nagging him to come home and urging him to retire soon.
He needed to find a successor as quickly as possible.
When colleagues left, he filled in. If the president left, he would have to step up as well.
He removed his glasses, pressing his aching temples, then opened the camera feed in Litchi Bay.
He did not want to be forced to call her “Mom” again.
Nor did he want to be “Bao Guai.”
He had never understood why girls liked fictional husbands on their phones, but now he seemed to understand…
The moment the camera feed turned on, he froze…