Even though he had known the news for a while, getting a definite confirmation from Xu Qiu’s own mouth still made Lin Qu’s heart instantly feel as though it had plummeted into an icy abyss, aching terribly.
His eyes instantly reddened.
He lowered his head and blinked, a flurry of thoughts rushing through his heart. In the end, he stubbornly lifted his head once more, choosing to reveal his true feelings to Xu Qiu: “There is something I want to tell you.”
The person he liked was so wonderful. Lin Qu knew that once Xu Qiu truly moved away from the village, he might never have another chance to see him again.
Lin Qu was not inherently a person who was content with being humble and low-ranked. Although his life in the Lin family was difficult and his status was practically at the very bottom, there was a stubborn streak deep inside him. Like a tiny blade of grass crushed beneath a heavy stone, he was always desperately trying to fight and claw his way upward. He always thought that if he worked hard enough, there should come a day when he could change his fate.
Yet, even so, he had never dared to dream that he could ever be together with Xu Qiu.
At first, Xu Qiu was bound by an engagement, and later on, he simply felt the other man was too good. Facing Lin Qiong, who was doted on by the entire family, Lin Qu had never felt inferior or thought himself a tier below him. But in front of Xu Qiu, he never felt that he was worthy.
He had always believed that Xu Qiu deserved someone much better.
However, when this day truly arrived, Lin Qu discovered that there was no such thing as being worthy or unworthy; he only wanted to tightly grasp onto the other person and make his gaze linger on him forever.
Looking into his eyes, Xu Qiu somewhat guessed what he wanted to say. For some reason, he felt a slight wave of tension in his heart.
Lin Qu spoke up: “Xu Qiu, I like you. I have always liked you. Do you have even the slightest bit of favorable impression toward me? I know you are leaving, and I…”
By this point, he could no longer hold back his choked voice, and tears directly spilled over, suddenly leaving him unable to speak.
Yet, Lin Qu still forced himself to push through and voice his feelings: “I am in so much pain. I thought that as long as I could catch a distant glimpse of you every day and know that you existed, I would already be content. But right now, it hurts so much I feel like I am going to die.”
With that, Lin Qu broke down and openly wept.
He did not cry loudly, but the tears were completely unstoppable.
Xu Qiu stood before him, watching the person crying with his face covered, a multitude of thoughts running through his mind. Before regaining the memories of his past life, Xu Qiu had not harbored romantic feelings for anyone and had only felt favorably toward Lin Qu’s strong and unyielding character. But undeniably, after recovering his memories and knowing the plot of the book, his attention had involuntarily gravitated toward Lin Qu step by step, making him care about everything concerning the other.
Even when stepping outside, he would unconsciously glance around to see if Lin Qu’s figure was anywhere in sight.
He knew the other would use the act of falling into the water to forcibly bind him, but through subsequent interactions, he abruptly realized that Lin Qu genuinely liked him.
It was not a cold-hearted scheme driven purely by ambitions for the future or resentment toward Lin Qiong.
Every single time he felt Lin Qu standing before him, the other was completely laying open his soft, vulnerable heart for him to see, with shy affection involuntarily showing at the corners of his eyes and brows.
His fingers twitched slightly. He thought to himself that he did indeed have warm feelings for Lin Qu, and then he spoke up: “Do you know the true identity of that exiled man Lin Qiong has been in contact with?”
“Huh?” Lin Qu lifted his head in a daze, his tear-soaked eyes still shimmering with moisture. He did not know why Xu Qiu had suddenly asked this, clearly knowing they were not talking about that topic at all. Even so, he answered, “I heard he is some kind of prince.”
In the eyes of many villagers, this matter was hardly a secret.
After all, the people keeping watch over those men were locals from the village, and everyone was related through several degrees of kinship. As long as one or two people found out, the entire village soon knew as well.
“That is right,” Xu Qiu said. “When I wanted to study before, the tutor who taught me was a strategist from that prince’s side.” Lin Qu was aware of this, having closely followed Xu Qiu’s movements and even run into him during that time.
“However, I am going to open a pharmacy now and move to town, so I probably will not continue studying. I originally wanted to try taking the imperial examinations, but thinking about it now, there is not much point to it.”
Lin Qu nodded to show he was listening, but he still did not quite understand. He had no idea why Xu Qiu was suddenly telling him all of this.
Meeting his bewildered gaze, Xu Qiu felt a bit puzzled. Originally, at the very beginning of the plot, Lin Qu had dreamed of fragments regarding his future meteoric rise to success, meaning Lin Qu should have known that he achieved his later status through the imperial examinations. Why did it now look as though the other person knew nothing at all?
Even so, Xu Qiu chose to continue. The conflict between him and Lin Qu was never really about this dream in the first place, but rather their respective pursuits in life.
If Lin Qu were to marry him now out of youthful affection, what would he think in the future when he watched Lin Qiong stay by the prince’s side, living a life of ease, simplicity, happiness, and fulfillment? How would Lin Qu feel inside? What would he do if he wanted to outdo Lin Qiong back then, but he could not provide that for him? Lin Qu was someone who refused to yield to his current circumstances and would strive hard to get what he wanted, even ending up walking a somewhat crooked path along that way later on.
To be honest, Xu Qiu deeply admired Lin Qu, but he himself was not that kind of person. He could not spend his entire life focused on suppressing someone else.
If he failed to give Lin Qu what he wanted, they would eventually turn into a pair of resentful partners, with their daily lives consumed by negative emotions. Xu Qiu could easily imagine how terrible life would be under those conditions.
Therefore, he had to make these things clear. Of course, he was not genuinely planning to give up the imperial examinations; he simply wanted to tell Lin Qu that his whole life might end up confined to being a local apothecary doctor, far less noble and high-status than a prince.
Xu Qiu laid it out: “Even though Gu Chengxiao is currently exiled, he and the Emperor are biological father and son after all. Who knows when he might be able to return? When that happens, Lin Qiong following him means an instant, soaring leap to the top. Can you really endure seeing that?”
Lin Qu’s eyes grew brighter and brighter, leaving Xu Qiu with a somewhat complicated feeling in his heart.
Although he was the one saying these words, if Lin Qu were to take the falling-into-the-water tactic he had originally prepared for him and use it on Gu Chengxiao instead, Xu Qiu would truly be filled with mixed emotions and would not know what to say.
Instead, Lin Qu said with pure joy: “You mean you like me!”
Good heavens, had Xu Qiu actually considered marrying him?
He had originally thought that perhaps Xu Qiu held just a tiny shred of favorable feeling toward him. If that really existed, he would have risked his life to frequently travel to town just to see if there was any chance.
But right now, the extremes of sorrow and joy were truly nothing compared to this!
Under Lin Qu’s radiant gaze, Xu Qiu did not want to make him sad anymore, so he nodded as well: “I do have some favorable feelings.”
“However, there are also problems between us.”
What Xu Qiu had just said was crystal clear. Lin Qu was not stupid; of course he could understand what those words meant.
Those issues did genuinely exist. He truly could not stand Lin Qiong, relying on the title of a blessed person to receive the doting affection of the entire family. Even though they were all villagers, Lin Qiong did not have to lift a finger, sleeping until the sun was high and refusing to even right a fallen oil bottle. Moreover, he was spoiled into an arrogant young-master temperament, bossing around all the other children in the household, especially him.
Lin Qiong had a huge temper, and Lin Qu was someone who refused to bow down beneath others. Often, even if he forced himself to help Lin Qiong out of fear of Old Madam Lin’s pressure, he did so with the utmost reluctance, and most of that unwillingness would naturally show in his actions and expression.
If he refused to do it, Old Madam Lin would beat him, accompanied by a whole day’s worth of scolding. But if he merely threw a bit of a temper or muttered a few complaints of dissatisfaction, Old Madam Lin would not go as far as to beat him for that.
No child was not afraid of being hit; who would not fear pain? Naturally, Lin Qu had no choice but to do the chores.
Yet, this reluctance of his was naturally despised by Lin Qiong, which was why Lin Qiong also loved targeting him.
Raised in such an environment, it would be a miracle if Lin Qu could ever like Lin Qiong. Furthermore, it was not just him—the petty things Lin Qiong could order him around to do were minor; there was also the relentless oppression that Lin Qiong’s parents inflicted upon his own parents.
Having endured the peace and comfort snatched away from his own Second Branch family for so many years, Lin Qu’s hatred for Lin Qiong was long past the point of simply vanishing away casually.
Whenever resentment flared, he could only keep telling himself that a person like Lin Qiong only survived because the old madam sheltered him, and let’s see what that pampered, delicate Lin Qiong could do in the future. Did he not notice that even Xu Qiu found Lin Qiong deeply annoying? Later on, after hearing Xu Qiu say that he had broken off his engagement with Lin Qiong, that belief of his had only grown firmer.
He did not like Lin Qiong. Even though Lin Qiong had not ordered him around personally these past two months and had even occasionally spoken up for him, he still found Lin Qiong an eyesore.
Surpassing Lin Qiong, living a life in the latter half of his days that was better than someone like Lin Qiong—who only knew how to act cute, fawn on others, and rely on someone else—by using his own two hands and his own hard work had already become an obsession for Lin Qu.
Of course, this did not mean Lin Qu looked down on people who knew how to act cute in general; if he could, he would naturally want to act cute around people who cared for him. That feeling of finding someone an eyesore was specifically directed at Lin Qiong alone.
After thinking for a moment, he spoke up: “If he can only possess a wealthy life by relying on his connection to a prince, and his entire life’s honor and disgrace are tied to someone else, then I still look down on him.”
“Even if he lives that kind of life, so what? I do not think living like that is truly good. In the future, that prince is going to take a whole harem of wives—how could he possibly have a genuine good life?”
Xu Qiu sighed inwardly. The crucial point was that Lin Qiong and Gu Chengxiao were truly deeply in love; the scenario Lin Qu was imagining would simply never happen. Moreover, Lin Qiong had real ability—relying on a talent for food and cooking, he had successfully made life prosperous for the Lin family as well.
Although Lin Qu was wonderful and hardworking, those tides of time and destiny were not so easily defeated.
Imagine: someone who had oppressed you, someone who in your eyes was so morally corrupt, suddenly transformed a decade later into a capable person admired and praised by everyone, still pampered by the whole family and living a great life. Meanwhile, you yourself became increasingly down-and-out, your firm convictions gradually shattered. That kind of gap was not something ordinary people could accept.
Just thinking about it made Xu Qiu feel a pang of heartache for him. He thought that among the people Lin Qu could come into contact with here, only he and Gu Chengxiao were variables whose futures carried massive potential changes. If not for them, if Lin Qu married anyone else, he might not even hold onto that tiny sliver of hope.
For Lin Qu, how cruel would that be?
Xu Qiu thought that perhaps both of them should give each other a chance to choose.