Starting with that infamous set of high school entrance exam practice papers, Gu Congjue threw himself into tutoring Shen Yanxing, painstakingly leading him through three days of intensive lessons.
Aside from teaching, Congjue was preoccupied with another task: sorting through and supplementing Yanxing’s study notes.
Ever since he met Yanxing, the abstract descriptions in his personal notebook had finally found a face. On one hand, Congjue felt a surge of excitement matching those words to Yanxing’s real-life appearance; on the other, a strange, baseless confusion crept into his mind.
Who am I? What am I actually doing?
As he reorganized the notes, this query nagged at him repeatedly. He kept catching himself pausing to reflect: Who am I really, and what is all this for?
The mental manifestation of his subconscious…the presence that used to linger deep within his mind…had vanished completely after he met Yanxing. Usually, whenever Congjue let his guard down and relaxed, that entity would surface. Now, it was nowhere to be found.
This left Congjue feeling thoroughly lost. That spectral presence had always dragged at him, warning him never to forget his identity from his past life and reminding him to keep searching for Shen Yanxing.
But what comes next?
What am I supposed to do now?
Congjue knew how to solve derivatives, find relative extrema, and tackle complex algebraic equations, yet he was completely stumped by the single biggest problem weighing on his heart.
“Who am I, really…”
Setting his black gel pen down, Congjue closed the notebook and leaned back, dazed.
He pushed back against the ergonomic chair, which he had deliberately loosened. Reclining half-asleep against the headrest, he murmured in confusion, “What on earth should I do?”
The obsessive drive to keep his promise, combined with his unwavering resolve to save Shen Yanxing, formed an invisible, intangible force. That force gripped Congjue’s soul, frequently leaving him disoriented and suffocated. It blocked him from recognizing his own identity and kept him from seeing himself clearly.
After staring blankly at the ceiling light for a while, Congjue shook his head to clear his mind and picked up his pen once more.
I really do need to see a psychiatrist, he thought.
He closed the notebook and pulled out the lesson plans he had prepped for Yanxing.
I should probably make an appointment when I have time…
Over three full days, Congjue helped Yanxing review Chinese, English, and the foundational material for the three humanities subjects. They agreed to move on to the hard sciences on the fourth day.
However, whether it was because Congjue was out of sorts or because Yanxing’s foundation in science was simply too weak, Yanxing struggled immensely, and the mood on the fourth day turned sour. Even with Congjue’s naturally dense demeanor, he could sense Yanxing’s growing resistance.
Yanxing didn’t want to listen…and truth be told, Congjue didn’t feel much like teaching today either.
“Let’s take a break,” Congjue said, laying down his pen and lesson notes before standing up to stretch his joints. “We’ve been at this for three straight days, morning till night. You must be exhausted.”
Yanxing collapsed face-first onto the desk, his voice weak and muffled. “I’m okay… not as tired as you, anyway. I just feel embarrassed. No matter how you explain today’s concepts, I just can’t get them.”
He paused, a faint self-deprecating edge to his tone. “I’m starting to wonder if I’m just too stupid… Am I really worth the high expectations you have for me?”
“Of course,” Congjue replied without a second thought. “You’re Shen Yanxing.”
That immediate, unquestioning answer touched Yanxing deeply. Yet alongside the warmth, a deeper question resurfaced in his mind: Why does he trust me so much? Why does he care so much about me?
Yanxing cautiously glanced out of the corner of his eye, observing Congjue’s movements.
He watched Congjue grab a water bottle off the desk and walk over to the floor-to-ceiling window.
It was three in the afternoon, right when the summer sun burned brightest. Lush greenery lined the streets outside, catching the sunlight beautifully. The light bounced off the glass window, casting a warm, soft reflection across Congjue’s features.
As Congjue raised the bottle to take a sip, the silhouette of the water bottle shifted across his face…glistening and rippling like a classic oil painting rendered by a master.
Staring at Congjue’s strikingly handsome profile, Yanxing couldn’t help but wonder about his parents for the hundredth time. His mom and dad must be drop-dead gorgeous, Yanxing thought. How else could they have raised a guy with such an extraordinary presence?
Then, thinking back to his own failed attempts at flirting over the past few days, a wave of gloom washed over him.
“The weather’s nice today,” Congjue said, setting the water bottle down after taking a drink. “I wonder if it’ll be this nice tomorrow.”
“Who knows,” Yanxing grumbled, still nursing his irritation. “Why don’t you check the weather app on your phone?”
Congjue paused. “Are you… in a bad mood?”
“Nope,” Yanxing snapped back, sulking. “Just average. Nothing special.”
“That’s good, then.”
Congjue actually took that “nope” at face value. Noddng, he walked over and patted Yanxing on the shoulder, offering what he thought was reassuring comfort. “I thought you were upset about the tutoring. Don’t worry…you’re just learning slowly because your foundation isn’t solid yet. If you don’t get it the first time, I can explain it twice, three times… ten times, until you understand.”
Yanxing was speechlessly overwhelmed: “…Just kill me now.”
Congjue blinked. “Huh?”
“Nothing.”
Yanxing pouted, completely giving up on communicating with him. “You wanted to know tomorrow’s weather, right? Hang on, I’ll check for you.”
He stood up, retrieved his phone, and pulled up the local forecast. As his fingers moved across the screen, his mind overflowed with exasperated complaints: If cluelessness were a crime, I’d sentence Gu Congjue to life without parole!
How could someone be this clueless? It was so absurd that Yanxing frequently suspected Congjue wasn’t actually like this by nature, but was doing it on purpose!
If he had approached Congjue initially out of selfish, self-serving motives, three straight days of close contact during these tutoring sessions had shifted his mindset entirely.
His competitive streak had been ignited!
With every minor setback, Yanxing’s desire to succeed only grew stronger. He became increasingly obsessed with seeing how far his persistence would go, dying to know whether Gu Congjue would ever take the bait.
“Found it. Tomorrow’s sunny too,” Yanxing sighed, reporting the forecast to the clueless idiot. “Cloudy in the late afternoon, but clear the rest of the day…perfect weather for going out.”
Between his competitive drive and his inner feelings of inferiority and shame, Yanxing was caught in a tug-of-war. He wasn’t thick-skinned; every attempt to test or probe Congjue took a massive amount of courage and mental preparation.
Congjue was like an impenetrable fortress wall. No matter how direct or bold Yanxing tried to be, he couldn’t push him over, break through, or make a single dent.
Congjue’s high regard and unconditional trust felt sudden and direct, like a gift dropped straight out of the sky.
Anyone else might have accepted such a unearned blessing with ease, but to Yanxing…who was used to hardship and grinding through life…this “gift” felt more like a test.
A limited-time trial, to be precise.
When something is gained too easily, the fear of losing it becomes all the more terrifying.
“Perfect for going out, huh?”
Oblivious to the storm of thoughts inside Yanxing’s head, Congjue leaned over to glance at the weather report on the phone screen. “That’s great.”
“Why?” Yanxing put his phone down and turned around, trying his best to hide his sour, irritated expression. “Do you have a date or something?”
Yanxing was only teasing him casually. After all, he and Congjue were only pretending to be a teenage couple. As a fake boyfriend, he had no right to be jealous.
The whole world could misunderstand them as high school sweethearts, but deep down, he and Congjue knew the truth: fake, fake, all fake!
What “teen lovers”? They were just a tutor and his student!
“Yeah,” Congjue replied simply, not sensing anything amiss. “Don’t you want to go?”
In Congjue’s mind, a “date” was something casual, free of formal pressure or rigid ceremony. Walking around outside to clear their heads, resting under the shade of a tree, or sharing an ice cream or a slice of cake…that counted as a date.
By his standards, back in his past life when they used to grab a cheap McDonald’s meal together in an uncleaned corner after a grueling part-time shift, that had been a date, too. Those fleeting moments were the tiny drops of sweetness in an otherwise unbearable past.
So Congjue didn’t think there was anything wrong with Yanxing’s wording.
Truth be told, Congjue himself was terrible at navigating emotions or untangling his own feelings. Asking him to analyze what it meant to like someone, how to express it, or what counted as affection…he’d much rather go solve a few calculus problems.
“Oh, well then you should—”
Mid-sentence, Yanxing froze. He whipped his head back, his eyes wide. “Wait… were you just asking me out on a date?”
Congjue answered without hesitation. “Yeah.”
“But…” The sudden shift from this clueless jerk caught Yanxing completely off guard, leaving him uneasy. “Why are we going on a date? We’re only fake-dating. What reason or right do we have to go on a real date?”
To Yanxing, a date was something official, full of meaning and occasion…much like buying fresh cherries on his way home after finishing a shift, or tossing together a small fruit salad even when eating alone. It was something that boosted his happiness immensely.
Since it was meaningful, having a valid reason before doing it was crucial!
“Going on a date just like this… it’s weird,” Yanxing muttered, his voice dropping as he looked down.
He stared at his cheap, 80-yuan T-shirt and thought to himself that if they were really going on a date, he’d need to buy a proper new outfit first.
“Why wouldn’t we have the right?” Congjue countered. “I’ve told you many times before: I admire you, and I value you. Simply put, you’re important to me, and you hold weight in my heart.”
Yanxing snapped his head up, his eyes locking with Congjue’s. Speechless, his heart hammered wildly against his ribs at Congjue’s unnervingly direct declaration.
What is up with this oblivious STEM nerd today?!
“No lessons tomorrow…let’s just relax,” Congjue continued. “There’s something I want to take the opportunity to tell you, so please, come with me. Same time tomorrow morning? I’ll pick you up at your hotel.”
Congjue voiced the invitation with an unintended touch of intimacy.
Though Yanxing found Congjue’s behavior today strange…he was so straightforward he seemed like an entirely different person compared to the past few days!…it only reinforced Yanxing’s earlier suspicion: This guy was definitely playing dumb before, wasn’t he?
Yet, faced with an invitation offered with such quiet certainty, Yanxing found it impossible to say no.
“Okay!” Yanxing nodded, a smile breaking across his face. “You don’t need to come upstairs. I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
Was he being a bit manipulative? Congjue was sincerely telling him how much he valued and appreciated him, while his own motives weren’t entirely pure.
Screw it, Yanxing thought. Whether it was a test or just a temporary taste of happiness, he genuinely couldn’t bring himself to reject Congjue.
Aside from Auntie Mei, Gu Congjue was the second person to ever treat him with genuine kindness.
And the very first… male friend to do so.
“Alright then.”
Congjue rubbed his temples, picking up his wallet, phone, and jacket from the table. “I’m feeling a bit unwell today, so I’ll head home to rest early. Review today’s key points again when you get a chance, and don’t forget to look over your past mistakes in the humanities subjects.”
Swept up in a mix of excitement and worry, Yanxing walked him to the door, almost offering to see him all the way downstairs. “Are you okay? Take your water bottle with you. Remember to message me on WeChat as soon as you get home safely!”
Congjue declined the offer to be walked downstairs, took his bottle, and stepped into the elevator. Right before the doors slid shut, he waved goodbye to Yanxing.
Ding!
The chime signaled both the elevator reaching the ground floor lobby and a new notification hitting Congjue’s phone.
Congjue glanced down, unlocking the device via facial recognition.
The collapsed WeChat notification automatically expanded across the screen:
[Auntie Fang: Sounds good. See you tomorrow, little gentleman.]