“I wouldn’t. Why ask so abruptly?” At that, Heng Shi completely put down his cutlery.
Zou Beiqi’s mind almost immediately jumped to the name Xie Jingyuan: “Perhaps one day, you will find someone who truly loves you mutually.”
“I am not interested in matters of this kind.”
“What if… matters of the heart sometimes arrive quite suddenly.”
“Even if the what if you mentioned truly comes to pass, I will not let myself be led around by the nose by emotions,” Heng Shi let out an imperceptible sigh. “At the very least, you and I have a formal marriage, and I will not do anything to betray that marriage. I demand this of you, and I will uphold it myself.”
“Then will you divorce me?”
“Divorce is not something for me to decide alone; it depends on your wishes as well. If you want to, we can divorce.”
“The child…”
“I already said, who the child stays with depends entirely on your wishes since you are the one carrying it for ten months. I will look after the child and pay alimony.”
“Won’t your future lover mind? Having such close ties with an ex-spouse?”
“I do not care for people who lack reason.”
“Perhaps you will be swayed by their emotions.”
“Enough.” Heng Shi did not continue answering the other’s words. He left his seat and moved to sit beside Zou Beiqi. “I will say it again: I am not interested in these matters, nor do I care who I am married to. My energy is currently placed entirely on the new medication and the child. Whether we continue or part ways depends completely on your wishes. Is that satisfactory?”
“I…”
“I think you are somewhat severely affected by hormones, which is why you are letting your imagination run wild. If you are full, I will help you back to your room to rest. Focus on nurturing the pregnancy, and do not worry too much.”
“I just woke up.” Zou Beiqi did not feel much sleepiness right now.
“You slept very late yesterday.”
Knowing he could not outargue the other man, Zou Beiqi had no choice but to finish off the food on his plate in a few quick bites. Afterward, Heng Shi accompanied him back to his room, letting Zou Beiqi sit for a moment to digest his food before gently helping him lie down. “Don’t you need to go back to the company?”
“No rush. There are no meetings, and all other aspects are on schedule.” Heng Shi tucked the quilt around Zou Beiqi, raised a hand to remove the glasses from the person on the bed, and said, “Sleep.”
“Mhm.” Zou Beiqi gave a soft acknowledgment. Believing Heng Shi had already left, he was surprised when, shortly afterward, he felt a pair of hands lightly touch both sides of his head, massaging his temples. The pressure was just right, and Zou Beiqi felt comfortable enough to almost let out a hum of sound.
“Why are you still here?” Zou Beiqi forced one eye open a crack.
Heng Shi closed his eyelids back over for him: “Afraid you’ll start overthinking again and won’t be able to sleep. Massaging like this helps.”
“Thank you, it’s very comfortable.”
“Don’t talk, go to sleep.”
“Oh.” Why did that make him sound like a kindergarten child who kept chattering away even when naptime had arrived?
Heng Shi’s massage proved extremely effective, and Zou Beiqi quickly drifted off to sleep with a blank mind. When he woke up, he received a message from Heng Shi telling him that any worries could be shared with him, as he did not want Zou Beiqi letting those things affect his mood.
Zou Beiqi: [If you insist, there really is something I wanted to ask you.]
Heng Shi: [Speak.]
Zou Beiqi: [I heard from Sheng Wanzhong that regarding the new drug project, Yan Xin is making a move?]
Heng Shi: [Detailed content cannot be shared with you. I am going abroad for a short while soon to talk with a research institution over there.]
Zou Beiqi almost forgot to breathe: [Which country?]
Heng Shi: [Country X. Their pharmaceutical research development is rapid, and they export quite a few medications that have proven remarkably effective in treating certain illnesses.]
As expected, exactly as Zou Beiqi had anticipated. Perhaps this fictional world would change to some extent due to his actions, but the degree of change was limited; no matter what, the protagonist gong and shou would still meet.
Zou Beiqi: [Mhm]
[When?]
Heng Shi: [Scheduled for a week from now. I’ve activated international roaming, so my phone number can be reached directly, and WeChat works normally both domestically and abroad.]
Zou Beiqi: [I understand.]
Upon learning that Heng Shi was preparing to head to Country X, despite Heng Shi repeatedly assuring him of many things and having prepared himself mentally beforehand, Zou Beiqi still could not help pushing his sense of unease to its peak. Many things were simply not up to Heng Shi to control, just as he could not change certain plot trajectories.
Perhaps the plot involving Country X would not necessarily unfold strictly by the book, but he could not stop himself from thinking this way.
“What is wrong?” True to form, Heng Shi brought his work home. Although his gaze remained fixed on the computer screen, his peripheral vision had likely already caught Zou Beiqi’s unusual expression.
“What do you mean what is wrong?”
“Your complexion is off.” Heng Shi paused his hand movements. “I said before, troublesome matters can be told to me.”
“I am fine.” This was hardly something that could be casually blurted out.
“You are not fine.”
“To prevent Heng Shi from harping on the issue, Zou Beiqi forced his mouth into a smile. “Is this okay? I’m fine.”
Heng Shi laughed in spite of himself: “You smile uglier than you cry.”
Zou Beiqi earnestly adjusted the smile on his face, while Heng Shi simply watched him continuously work his facial muscles until, finding it truly unbearable, he spoke up to put a stop to it: “That’s enough, it’s not doing anything.”
“Oh…”
“If it’s inconvenient to say, forget it.” Heng Shi closed his computer. “I’ll accompany you out to clear your head this weekend.”
“Aren’t you busy?”
“Even the busiest person needs rest. I’m not a spinning top that never stops.” He paused, then added, “You can start thinking about where you’d like to go.”
Zou Beiqi browsed tourist spots on an app, but choosing anywhere felt like going on a date. The thought made him feel awkward inside, and after failing to come up with a good destination all day long, he simply let Heng Shi drag him out onto the street to wander aimlessly.
“Is there anything you want?” Heng Shi asked, walking beside him.
This street was a famous shopping district in Liyan City, lined with shops of every description. Whether clothing and accessories, snacks and treats, or daily necessities, basically everything could be found on this street.
“You’ve already given me a lot,” Zou Beiqi said earnestly after scanning the shop signs. “I don’t lack anything.”
Heng Shi paused slightly, and the conversation shifted without warning: “Would you like some candy?”
“Didn’t you say I shouldn’t eat candy?”
“It’s not that you can’t eat it, just that you should eat less.” Heng Shi glanced at Zou Beiqi’s profile. “Someone as afraid of bitterness as you should love sweet things?”
“I suppose so.” It wasn’t so much a deep love for sweets as it was a preference for this particular flavor among the five tastes.
“Wait for me.” As soon as his voice fell, Heng Shi walked into a snack and confectionary shop by the roadside, where a small stall happened to be making fresh nougat on the spot. Heng Shi bought a portion, stepped out of the shop, and pressed it into Zou Beiqi’s hand.
The milky-white candy blocks were covered in crushed peanuts, and a rich fragrance wafted up. Unable to hold back, Zou Beiqi took a bite; it was sweet to just the right degree, suiting his palate perfectly.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“I don’t eat these.”
Right, he had almost forgotten that Heng Shi didn’t eat street food.
Zou Beiqi couldn’t resist chewing a few more times on the nougat in his hand. Such delicious food, yet because of his fastidiousness, Heng Shi might never get to taste it in his lifetime. It felt a bit of a pity to think about it.
“Not even a bite?”
“No. Eating too much sugar is of no benefit to the human body, and the hygiene of street food is difficult to guarantee; the utensils might not have been disinfected.”
“Then you’re willing to let me eat it?”
“I figured you would want to eat it. Eating it occasionally won’t harm the human body.”
“So you can eat it too.”
Heng Shi seemed too lazy to bother with him. Hearing no words of rejection, Zou Beiqi took it as tacit permission that he could eat it, and stubbornly shoved the piece of candy toward Heng Shi’s hand: “I haven’t bitten this other end.”
“Why are you so persistent?”
“Because it’s delicious.” The reason was simple enough.
Heng Shi scrutinized the piece of nougat for a long moment, as if examining an unlabeled reagent vial. Finally, looking as though he had gone through a strenuous psychological struggle, he bit off a small piece right where Zou Beiqi had just chewed.
“Too sweet.” Heng Shi immediately frowned.
“This doesn’t even count as sweet anymore.”
“I am not used to eating sweets.”
“Life is already so bitter, don’t you want to taste a bit of sweetness?”
“Sweetness cannot cover up that layer of bitterness.”
Zou Beiqi could not help falling silent, knowing full well that Heng Shi’s childhood could hardly be described as smooth. “I’ll make you braised eggplant.” He spoke on a sudden impulse.
“Next time.” Surprisingly, Heng Shi didn’t turn him down. “My stomach isn’t well.”
Zou Beiqi: He hadn’t meant to bring up stomachaches on purpose.
The nougat returned to Zou Beiqi’s hands and was quickly munched down to the last scrap. Heng Shi specifically emphasized that this was his entire sugar intake for the day: “I know, I won’t eat any more.”
Walking further down the street, the two inadvertently passed by a baby supply store. Zou Beiqi instinctively touched his lower abdomen, his pace unconsciously slowing down as he soon spotted a couple pushing a stroller out of the store.
Clearly, the couple had a very strong relationship. The man and woman were holding hands, each with one free palm resting on the stroller as they pushed it forward slowly, occasionally exchanging glances, chatting, and smiling. The child in the stroller was very well-behaved, not making much of a fuss, seemingly content to fiddle with the toys beside them.
Zou Beiqi sighed inwardly. He felt quite envious of such a family, unlike him and Heng Shi, who looked awkward no matter how one viewed it.
“What are you looking at?” Heng Shi followed Zou Beiqi’s gaze and naturally spotted that family of three as well.
“Nothing, just think they look rather warm and cozy like that.”
“Do you want that too?”
“Some things cannot simply be obtained just because you want them.”
“How will you know if you don’t try?”
That remark left Zou Beiqi utterly bewildered. How was one supposed to try this?
Heng Shi spoke up abruptly: “Give me your hand.”
Not quite understanding, Zou Beiqi still handed one hand over to Heng Shi. The next second, just like that couple, the other’s palm pressed against his palm, interlocking their fingers together.
This was the first time Heng Shi had initiated a lover-like interaction with him when no one else was paying attention.
“You wanted it, so I’m trying it with you. It doesn’t count as unnecessary contact.”
“Mhm…” Zou Beiqi felt a very peculiar sensation, not as intense as when taking wedding photos, yet more prominent than when Heng Shi had brushed the leaf from his hair back in the backyard.
It felt awkward, but he didn’t dislike the feeling.
“Can you feel it?” Heng Shi turned his face slightly, asking softly.
“How could I possibly feel anything.” Zou Beiqi did not believe his current experience had anything to do with the word warmth.
“I can feel it.” Heng Shi met Zou Beiqi’s eyes. “Your palms are very warm.”
Just as Zou Beiqi wondered what Heng Shi meant by suddenly bringing up the temperature of his palms, the other added: “The temperature is high lately. If you can’t stand it, tell me and we’ll head back early.”
As it turned out, he was simply worried he couldn’t handle the heat.
Summer in Liyan City was indeed very hot, and Zou Beiqi started sweating not long after walking. Heng Shi led him around a corner at the intersection, walked into a large shopping mall, and finally stopped in front of a high-end clothing store. “You need to add some clothes to your wardrobe.”
“I have enough to wear.”
“Having extra spares does no harm.”
Unable to turn down the other’s good intentions, Zou Beiqi wove through the clothing racks, nearly dazzled by the variety of summer styles. He truly had no eye for fashion coordination, having worn simple T-shirts and long trousers back in school; the greater the variety, the harder it was for him to make a decision.
“Don’t know what to choose?” Heng Shi, noticing him from across the aisle, put down the garments he had just selected and walked over, quickly pulling a matched outfit off the rack. “Try this.”
After changing into the clothes inside the fitting room, Zou Beiqi stepped out and instinctively checked himself out in the full-length mirror. Heng Shi had good taste; this outfit suited him very well.
“Not bad, you can try a few more sets.” Heng Shi looked him up and down. “Given your build, many combinations suit you. However, you’ll only be able to wear these for about two more months. Once your belly starts showing around four months, you’ll have to switch to loose clothing, and when it gets a bit larger, you’ll need to wear styles from over there.”
Zou Beiqi followed Heng Shi’s gaze to the other side of the rack, where dresses with simple and steady designs were displayed. His brain suffered an instant shock; in his twenty-some years of life, he had never even touched a skirt, and now he was actually going to wear one himself?
“What’s wrong?” Heng Shi noticed his slight hesitation.
“Nothing.” Ordinary clothes indeed wouldn’t accommodate a pregnant belly, so Zou Beiqi chose to accept reality.
Ever since transmigrating into the book, Zou Beiqi’s capacity for acceptance had clearly increased dramatically.
“How many pieces to pick?”
“I don’t know how to choose.”
“I’ll help you.” Heng Shi picked and chose around the store, having the clerk pack up several sets of casual wear and dresses for Zou Beiqi. For a moment, Zou Beiqi felt like a dress-up doll brought out by Heng Shi, with his entire wardrobe entirely dependent on the owner’s mood.
“What kind of underwear do you usually wear?” Heng Shi asked in a low voice after settling the address at the counter, explaining that the shop would have the clothes shipped directly to their home.
“Hm?” Zou Beiqi was startled. Being asked such a private question so suddenly caught him off guard, but remembering that Heng Shi wasn’t someone lacking in boundaries in his impression, he answered honestly, “Black ones.”
Heng Shi laughed softly: “I’m not asking about that. I mean if you wear mid-to-high-waist ones, you should switch to low-waist. You’re almost at the point where you’ll start showing.”
Come to think of it, of course. Was Heng Shi the type to care about the color of his underwear? “Sorry, I misunderstood.”
“Are you in a better mood now?” Heng Shi changed the subject.
“Pretty much.” Could it be that buying him clothes was meant to cheer him up? Zou Beiqi thought, though it wasn’t entirely ineffective, anyone would enjoy new things.
Though it would be even better if he didn’t have to wear skirts in the future.
Seeming to realize Zou Beiqi’s smile hadn’t fully bloomed, Heng Shi looked into his eyes: “You’re harder to coax than a kid.”
“Are kids hard to coax? Isn’t just giving them a piece of candy enough?”
“No, they refuse to take bitter medicine no matter what, and won’t even eat candied fruit.”
Zou Beiqi deeply felt he had been poked at again. “Everything feels so novel since it’s my first time here, I wasn’t unhappy.”
“Still worried I’ll abandon you?”
“No.” Actually yes, but not entirely.
“I can’t rest easy leaving when you’re like this.”
“You can’t not go.” Zou Beiqi was no child; he understood the importance of business partnerships.
Heng Shi let out an imperceptible sigh and pointed to an empty fitting room nearby: “Get in.”
Without understanding why, Zou Beiqi stepped into the fitting room. Before he could react, Heng Shi flashed in right behind him and locked the latching door.
“I don’t know what it takes to set your mind at ease.” One of Heng Shi’s hands rested on Zou Beiqi’s belly, gently rubbing it before pressing a kiss onto the other’s abdomen right through the thin T-shirt. “He is important to me, and I will wait until he is born. Is that enough?”
Zou Beiqi’s mind went blank for a second. He abruptly realized the temperature inside the fitting room was extremely high.
“Qiqi?”
“Ah.” Zou Beiqi snapped back to reality. “It’s too hot in here.”
“Then let’s go out.” Heng Shi pushed open the door, led Zou Beiqi out of the shop, and murmured into his ear amidst the bustling noise of the crowd: “By the way, I kissed the child, not you, so don’t overthink it.”
He knew it.
The flight Heng Shi booked to Country X was an early morning one. After finishing breakfast together at the same table, Zou Beiqi instinctively asked if the other needed him to drop him off at the airport.
“No need, get some rest.”
“Have a safe trip.” Zou Beiqi did not insist, watching as Heng Shi left the house with his luggage, followed by the sound of the car speeding away. Not long after, before Zou Beiqi had even walked from the living room to the backyard, Heng Shi left him a WeChat message repeatedly urging him to look after his own health and seek help from others in a timely manner, he practically had the speech memorized by heart.
Zou Beiqi had always taken his medicine on time and in the prescribed doses, causing his symptoms to gradually ease, so he hadn’t paid too much mind to the warnings. Yet as long as the medication could not completely eliminate the adverse reactions, the possibility of a relapse remained.
That possibility happened, and it happened precisely at a time like this.
Heng Shi’s business trip was scheduled for a full week, leaving the villa much quieter than usual. Zou Beiqi tended to the flowers and plants in the backyard as usual, his gaze accidentally landing on the red roses Heng Shi had given him. His movements paused involuntarily, and he ended up watering the pot with a few extra droplets.
“Hope you’ll be fine? It won’t do if you get drowned…”
If a regular potted plant died, he could just buy another, but these roses were a gift from Heng Shi. If they died and he bought a new pot, it wouldn’t be the same batch of roses anymore.
It wasn’t that he cared all that much about Heng Shi; he simply cherished gifts from people in general, he had even kept a middle school classmate’s note all the way through university. Besides, if the roses disappeared from the backyard, it wouldn’t be easy to explain to Heng Shi when he returned.
That was what Zou Beiqi thought.
He instinctively reached out to contact the gardener on WeChat, intending to ask if overwatering roses had any remedies, but before he could even tap on the contact, a sharp pain in his lower abdomen nearly made him drop his phone to the ground.
Zou Beiqi clutched his stomach instinctively, gritting his teeth against the pain as he tightened his grip on the phone and managed to find Xie Jinglian’s WeChat to send a message. He didn’t even know what characters he had typed out, nor did he have the strength to check; his body slid down against the grass on its own, his back resting against the flower rack as cold sweat broke out on his forehead.
He tried to knead his own stomach the way Heng Shi used to do, but he couldn’t muster even a shred of strength in his hands.
When Xie Jinglian arrived at the backyard and witnessed this scene, he was practically frightened out of his wits. He hurried to help Zou Beiqi to the examination room and applied a warm compress to his abdomen: “Why did it suddenly get so severe? Did you not rest well or not watch your diet?”
“It might be… irregular daily routines.” After the warm compress, the symptoms in his abdomen slowly subsided. Normally, Heng Shi would wake up and stop by his bedroom door to wake him up so they could go downstairs for breakfast together. Ever since Heng Shi went on his trip, Zou Beiqi often failed to wake up on time.
“I’ll come over to give you warm compresses during this period. Once you adjust your schedule, there shouldn’t be any problems.”
Touching his still-throbbing lower abdomen, Zou Beiqi suddenly found himself missing Heng Shi intensely, especially after being left alone and helpless in the backyard just moments ago.
He only now realized he was much more fragile than he had imagined.
Xie Jinglian seemed to notice the change in his expression and couldn’t help asking: “Is it still very painful?”
“No, I just miss him a little.”
“Mr. Heng? That’s normal. Dads during pregnancy are heavily influenced by hormone levels, making them very emotional and more dependent on their significant other. Especially since Mr. Heng takes such good care of you.”
“Mhm…” Just as Zou Beiqi was about to say something, the doorbell rang outside. He carefully got up from the bed, and just as Xie Jinglian moved to stop him, he was already on his feet: “It might be the gardener; he doesn’t know you, I’ll go tell him to come back another time.”
In truth, the pain had left him so dazed earlier that he had tapped randomly on his phone, and he had no idea whether the message had actually reached the gardener. But since he wasn’t expecting any deliveries, he couldn’t think of a second person who might show up at his door.
“Be careful,” Xie Jinglian warned at his retreating back.
Dragging his slow footsteps, Zou Beiqi watched as the nanny welcomed the visitor inside.
Heng Shi’s hair looked slightly disheveled, and neither his suit jacket nor his shirt was properly tidied, making him look as though he had rushed over in a breathless hurry.
Zou Beiqi froze. Before he could even voice a question, Heng Shi had already crossed the distance in a few quick strides, pulling him close to scrutinize him carefully from head to toe: “Dr. Xie told me it was severe.”
“I’m fine.” Seeing Heng Shi’s rare disarray, Zou Beiqi felt a warmth bloom in his heart. “Weren’t you supposed to be gone a week? Why are you back so early? It’s only been four days.”
“The others could handle things over there, so I came back early.” Heng Shi tossed his briefcase aside, wrapped both arms gently around Zou Beiqi’s back, and pulled him into his warm embrace. “Just this once.”
“What?”
“Unnecessary contact.”
“It’s not unnecessary.” Zou Beiqi curved the corners of his lips into a bright, blooming smile. “I just missed you, and I really do need your care.”
He paused, resting his arm over Heng Shi’s shoulder and lightly wrapping it around the other’s neck: “When you see someone you miss, you’re supposed to hug them.”
Heng Shi did not speak; Zou Beiqi could only hear his heavy breathing. He must have run here, he figured.
“So, you are hugging me?”
“What?”
“Back in the fitting room, you said you were hugging the child. What about this time? Are you hugging the child now too?” Prompted by a sudden whim, Zou Beiqi recalled the scene in the boutique’s fitting room and couldn’t help asking.
He had expected to hear the predictable answer from Heng Shi, but clearly, the plot was not playing out as he had anticipated.
“It’s you.”
Heng Shi’s grip tightened slightly.
“I am hugging you, Qiqi.”