Perhaps because she had talked too much with Aunt Jiang during the day, she began to dream at night, her dreams chaotic and jumbled.
She sat up in bed and picked up her phone from beside the pillow to check the time.
It was only a little past three in the morning—she had never woken up at this hour before.
Shen Zhiyi threw off the covers, intending to go to the living room for some water.
As she opened her bedroom door, she noticed the door to the master bedroom was also ajar.
Shen Zhiyi walked in, but there was no one in the bed.
She checked the bathroom as well, then hurried to the living room.
After searching all these places in the house and failing to find Pei Xu, Shen Zhiyi instantly panicked.
Hearing the balcony door rattling incessantly, her attention was drawn to the sound.
Seeing Pei Xu standing on the balcony, she felt her hands and feet turn icy and numb.
Shen Zhiyi slowly walked toward the balcony. Pushing open the balcony door, she stepped behind Pei Xu.
“Pei Xu, why are you standing here so late?”
“Just catching some cold air to clear my head.”
“It’s so late already. You should be sleeping.”
With trembling hands, Shen Zhiyi reached out toward Pei Xu.
“Jumping from here probably wouldn’t kill you, right?”
“It wouldn’t kill me, but it might cripple me. Right now, I’m just blind. If I jump, besides being blind, I might never walk again.”
Once Shen Zhiyi’s hand grasped the hem of Pei Xu’s shirt, she yanked him toward her.
The moment she wrapped her arms around him, she let out a heavy sigh of relief.
“What exactly are you trying to do? What would I do if you jumped? I’ve cooked so many meals for you… Was the food not good enough?”
As she spoke, Shen Zhiyi’s voice began to tremble, and she raised her hands to hit him wildly.
The night was already quiet, making Shen Zhiyi’s cries especially distinct.
Worried about disturbing the neighbors, she dragged Pei Xu into the living room before daring to sob openly.
Shen Zhiyi didn’t even know what she wanted to say. Her mind was a mess, and she spoke whatever came to her.
Only after she had vented did she notice she had torn Pei Xu’s shirt.
“Stop crying.”
Pei Xu felt for the tissue box on the coffee table, pulled out a tissue, and handed it in Shen Zhiyi’s direction.
She stood up from the floor, took the tissue from his hand, then slapped his hand hard.
“I don’t need your help.”
Shen Zhiyi wiped her tears dry and tossed the tissue into the trash.
“It’s late. Go to sleep.”
Shen Zhiyi could feel her eyes were swollen from crying.
She had a thousand things she wanted to say, but facing Pei Xu’s pale face, she found herself unable to utter a word.
After Pei Xu climbed into bed wearing the T-shirt she had torn, Shen Zhiyi pulled up a chair and sat beside him.
“Go back to your room and sleep. I won’t go to the balcony again.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Shen Zhiyi was determined to keep watch over Pei Xu in his room.
“I can’t sleep with you sitting there.”
“And you could sleep without me here?”
Pei Xu lowered his eyes, unable to refute her words.
“Once you fall asleep, I’ll go back to my room.”
Shen Zhiyi sat in the chair until dawn.
She had always thought Pei Xu had strong resilience.
After losing his sight, he seemed to have recovered from the blow of blindness so quickly.
Pei Xu usually showed little emotion, and everything appeared normal.
But the reality was different.
Pei Xu hadn’t moved on at all. In fact, he harbored a severe self-destructive tendency.
When a person hits rock bottom, they might lash out at those around them.
But Pei Xu didn’t.
Even though he couldn’t see, he remained polite and courteous to everyone.
Yet Shen Zhiyi almost wished he would be a little more temperamental.
After sleeping in a chair for two nights, Shen Zhiyi’s back was sore and aching.
Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore and moved a futon to the doorway of Pei Xu’s room, where she slept at night.
If Pei Xu came out of his room during the night, she would definitely be the first to know.
“What, just because I’m not in your room, you’re already getting ideas again? Pei Xu, don’t make me tie you to the bed with a rope. I don’t like playing the forceful game, so I hope you’ll cooperate a bit more…”
After listening to Shen Zhiyi’s long speech, Pei Xu’s lips moved slightly.
“I was just thirsty and wanted to get some water from the living room.”
Shen Zhiyi looked at him suspiciously, then silently got off the futon and pulled it to the side.
“Go ahead.”
Pei Xu poured himself a glass of water, drank it, and then headed back toward his room.
“Is the futon uncomfortable to sleep on? Maybe you should go back to your own room…”
“It’s comfortable, really comfortable—soft and springy, even better than a Simmons mattress.”
Pei Xu had originally intended to persuade Shen Zhiyi further, but hearing her say this, he hesitated and finally went back into his room.
No matter how comfortable a futon might be, it could never compare to sleeping in a bed.
Shen Zhiyi felt that constantly watching Pei Xu like a thief wasn’t sustainable.
For someone in his condition, going to the hospital was still necessary.
What Shen Zhiyi worried about most was that he, like his mother, might be suffering from depression.
“Let’s go, I’ll take you to the hospital.”
“Why go to the hospital? It’s not time for the follow-up yet.”
They had just gone for a follow-up checkup half a month ago, so the next one should be in another half a month.
“It’s not for your eyes.”
Shen Zhiyi had torn one of Pei Xu’s T-shirts the night before last, and she had thrown the damaged one in the trash.
Later, she would need to buy him a few more at the mall.
“If not for my eyes, then what is it for?”
“Mental health is important too, Pei Xu. I neglected it before.”
Shen Zhiyi grabbed Pei Xu’s wrist, intending to persuade him further, but to her surprise, he nodded and agreed on his own.
At the hospital, the doctor conducted a psychological evaluation for Pei Xu.
“The patient should come for psychological counseling every week. This prescription is for the medication—remember to pick it up from the pharmacy on the second floor later.”
The doctor handed the prescription to Shen Zhiyi.
Truthfully, she had already prepared herself mentally before coming.
“Shen Zhiyi, do you find me troublesome?”
“Why would I find you troublesome? While you come for counseling every week, I can go shopping at the mall next door. You know how much I love shopping.”
Shen Zhiyi was holding several shopping bags, all filled with clothes she had bought for Pei Xu.
When she was organizing clothes yesterday, she had opened Pei Xu’s closet and taken a look.
There were hardly any clothes in his closet, and the white T-shirt he often wore had been torn by her…
“Autumn is almost here. I bought you two trench coats. Try them on when we get home, and if the size doesn’t fit, we can exchange them.”
Pei Xu held his white cane, folding it up when they reached the crowded elevator area.
“Did you buy anything for yourself?”
“Yes, I bought a dress for myself too.”
Shen Zhiyi linked her arm with Pei Xu’s, taking advantage of the fact that he couldn’t see—even if she lied, he wouldn’t know.
“You haven’t helped me wash vegetables for several days now.”
“I’ll help you wash them when we get back.”
“You also have to do the dishes. I don’t like washing dishes—my hands get so cold afterward.”
“Alright, I’ll do the dishes too.”
Shen Zhiyi and Pei Xu had already walked out of the hospital outpatient building when they remembered they hadn’t picked up the medicine the doctor prescribed.
“Pei Xu, I think we need to go back…”
“What’s wrong?”
“We need to get the medicine from the pharmacy. I forgot.”
Shen Zhiyi waved the prescription slip in her hand.
“You go get it. I’ll wait here.”
“Let’s go together.”
Shen Zhiyi didn’t feel comfortable leaving Pei Xu alone.
“I won’t wander off. Just go quickly and come back.”
“Then wait here for me. Don’t wander off…”
Shen Zhiyi led Pei Xu to a bench by the roadside and had him sit there to wait for her.
She ran back into the outpatient building, glancing back every few steps, moving faster than she ever had during high school fitness tests.
When she came out with the medicine and saw Pei Xu still sitting on the bench waiting for her, she sat down beside him, panting.
“Good thing you didn’t wander off.”
“I promised to wait for you. Why would I wander off?”