“Come, open up your arm movements.”
“Make the turns wider, and pay attention to the strength in your calves.”
In the Huai Ballet rehearsal hall, they were rehearsing the third act of The Fantasy of Saint Teresa, which was also the core segment of the entire play—the scene where Saint Teresa falls into desire in the Garden of Eden.
Saint Teresa was a 16th-century Spanish nun who suffered from epilepsy and experienced various hallucinations during her episodes. In these hallucinations, she would see God, demand love from Him, and engage in mystical experiences with Him.
Historically, Saint Teresa was herself a brave reformer. An ambassador of the Holy See at the time called her “a restless woman who wanders about.”
The controversy surrounding the work has never ceased, and using this subject matter to adapt an original dance drama for the stage was undoubtedly an incredibly bold approach.
Jiang Man danced along with the music in a classical long dress, holding her arms in an expression of ecstasy, her feet arched into a beautiful curve.
The music stopped, and the choreographer, Li Kaiyi, checked his watch. “Fifteen-minute intermission. Prepare to train for the second half.”
The dancers scattered to rest and drink water.
“Jiang Man, come here for a moment.”
Li Kaiyi called out to her.
Jiang Man walked over. Li Kaiyi looked at her for a moment and said bluntly, “Your performance just now has some gap compared to the Saint Teresa I imagined.”
Jiang Man’s heart sank. “Director Li, is there something wrong with my movements? I will adjust…”
“The movement technique is fine,” Li Kaiyi shook his head, “what you lack is expressiveness.”
He said helplessly, “You must know that the Saint Teresa you are interpreting is a nun who has lived in celibacy for forty years. She has repressed her emotions and desires her entire life until she experiences intimacy with God in her dream in the Garden of Eden. This is her first time completely releasing herself.”
To interpret this role well, Jiang Man had read the original text of Saint Teresa’s autobiography and had even written twenty thousand words of character journals. She knew the core content of the third act was Saint Teresa’s rebellion against the shackles of the church at the time. Her first experience with God in the Garden of Eden also symbolized her desire to break free from the constraints placed on women by society.
Jiang Man asked, “Is it because I didn’t express her rebellion and struggle?”
Li Kaiyi sighed, “What you didn’t express is desire.”
Jiang Man stood frozen, blankly digesting Li Kaiyi’s words.
“What you need to perform in this scene is a woman craving love and desire, but I don’t see even a hint of intoxication from desire on your face.”
In the cafeteria, Jiang Man was listlessly picking at her rice. Liang Yue brought her food and sat down beside her. “Senior Sister, are you still thinking about what Director Li said this morning?”
Jiang Man had no energy. “The casting rehearsal is getting closer, and I still haven’t found the state for Saint Teresa. If this continues, I’m afraid the opening night will have nothing to do with me.”
The final cast list would only be made public one week before the premiere. At that time, there would be a private casting rehearsal where a small number of internal decision-makers would watch and vote to make the final decision. It was essentially a large-scale audition.
Liang Yue moved her tray closer to her. “Don’t think too much about it. There’s still nearly a month before the premiere; just take your time finding the state and feeling.”
Her phone on the table vibrated. Liang Yue answered the call, her tone becoming coy. “Hey, baby! Why are you calling now?”
Liang Yue held her phone, acting spoiled, calling him “baby” sweetly over and over.
Jiang Man couldn’t hear the specific content, only seeing the smile that constantly hung on her lips. Before hanging up, she even kissed the phone twice.
“Mwah, baby, love you.”
She grinned at Jiang Man. “Boyfriend.”
Liang Yue’s boyfriend was a project manager at a cultural park. He had been away on a business trip for quite some time, following up on an order that had been dragging on for a long time.
“Hasn’t your boyfriend returned yet?”
“He said the leadership wants him to visit several important local partners, so he probably won’t be able to come back for a while. He can’t even come back to accompany me for my birthday tomorrow. I miss him so much; I miss my baby.”
Jiang Man’s earlobes turned red from her saccharine behavior. “You and your boyfriend are so sweet.”
“Is this sweet? Isn’t this how couples usually are?” She looked at Jiang Man curiously. “Aren’t you and Mr. Qi like this? When you talk on the phone or meet up, don’t you get all clingy like this?”
Jiang Man thought for a moment and shook her head.
Liang Yue looked regretful. “Ah, that’s boring. But it’s no wonder. At the dance troupe’s thank-you banquet before, I saw him from afar once. He was wearing a suit and tie, and he wasn’t smiling; he looked cold.”
Cold?
It was probably fine.
“He might look more serious when he’s working, but he’s actually quite gentle and humble.”
Liang Yue looked unconvinced.
The conversation between the two turned back to the dance drama.
For this production, Liang Yue was assigned to play a green elf, and she had a solo dance in one act. Previously, in many plays, she had served as an understudy for the lead. During regular rehearsals, she also had to practice all the lead dance segments with the lead actress.
Liang Yue sighed with emotion: “It’s good that they didn’t make me an understudy for Saint Teresa this time. It’s tiring and you never get on stage. This time, I finally only need to practice my own role; it’s much less stressful.”
“The role of Saint Teresa is too complex, and the dance movements are difficult. To reach forty without ever having an experience… she must be so pent up…”
Jiang Man put down her chopsticks and asked her, “If Director Li asked you to dance the Saint Teresa segment this time, how would you express desire?”
Liang Yue picked up a small meatball and stuffed it into her mouth, saying unclearly, “Uh… practice and find the feeling.”
“How do you practice?”
“Making love.”
Jiang Man was almost choked by her own saliva; she didn’t expect such a young girl to speak so boldly.
She flushed red and picked up the vegetable soup beside her to help it go down. “What nonsense are you saying…”
“Why is it nonsense? Desire is something you have to experience for yourself.”
“If it were really up to me to play Saint Teresa, I would practice it well with my boyfriend, dragging him to do it several times every night.”
“That kind of pent-up urge released, that feeling of your whole body turning soft and hot—when the time comes, you won’t need to force the performance; it will naturally flow out. It works better than thinking about it a hundred times…”
Jiang Man was flushed with embarrassment, hurriedly reaching out to cover her mouth.
Liang Yue booked a KTV box to celebrate her birthday.
Several people in the dance troupe who could sing were standing in front of the screen with microphones, singing loudly, and the atmosphere was lively. Snacks, fruit platters, and two cases of Corona were placed on the coffee table.
After singing for a while, the birthday cake was pushed in. Everyone sat around the cake, lit the candles, and sang the birthday song in unison.
Liang Yue put her hands together, closed her eyes, and made a wish silently, her face full of smiles. After making her wish, she blew out all the candles in one breath. Amidst the cheers of the crowd, she picked up a knife, cut the cake into small pieces, and distributed them to everyone.
After eating the cake, someone suggested playing Truth or Dare.
Everyone echoed the suggestion, and Liang Yue agreed enthusiastically.
The birthday girl went first. She picked up the empty wine bottle on the table and gave it a forceful spin; as luck would have it, it stopped right in front of her.
“Alright, I choose Truth!” Liang Yue said briskly.
A male actor in the dance troupe drew a card on a mobile app and a question popped up: Please answer at what age you had your first experience.
As soon as these words were out, a chorus of hoots and jeers erupted in the box.
Liang Yue raised her eyebrows. “Yo, is this the adult version of Truth?”
“If you don’t want to say it, just drink!” He filled Liang Yue’s glass with beer.
Liang Yue was generous. “Nineteen.”
“Then specifically…” the boy wanted to press further.
“Hey, this is the second question! It’s my turn to spin!” Liang Yue said, spinning the wine bottle again. After spinning a few times, it pointed to Dai Lian, another male actor in the dance troupe.
Dai Lian chose Dare.
The card drawn was: Eat a french fry with the person three seats to your left.
Everyone jeered.
Dai Lian started counting from his left, and when he reached the third person, it was exactly Jiang Man.
A faint hint of anticipation flashed across his face. Just as he was about to stand up, he was stopped by Liang Yue.
“What kind of Truth or Dare is this!” Liang Yue flipped through the cards in the app, laughing and crying. “Senior Sister Manman is already married. Your cards are too outrageous…”
Dai Lian seemed to suddenly think of something, and his eyes became flustered. He hurriedly waved his hands. “No, no, I’d rather drink!”
After saying that, he picked up a bottle of Corona and tilted his head to drink more than half of it. Only then did he sit back on the sofa as if relieved.
After a few rounds, the bottle pointed to Jiang Man.
“Truth, I guess.”
Jiang Man drew a card; the question was: Please answer when was your first kiss.
Jiang Man’s mind drifted.
Before losing her memory, she had no experience kissing the opposite sex. After losing her memory, she had forgotten everything, and she couldn’t remember any “first kiss.”
However, her first kiss… should have been with Qi Zhicheng, right?
“I forgot.” She spoke the truth.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Then let’s change to a simple one. Tell us, when was the last time you kissed?”
Jiang Man was stumped again.
After losing her memory…
She hadn’t kissed Qi Zhicheng.
After staying silent for a long time, she picked up a full glass of beer on the table and drank it. “I’d rather drink.”
“Ya, Sister Man is embarrassed; she won’t even say that.”
Everyone was giggling, and the topic was quickly moved away. As the game continued noisily, Jiang Man leaned back on the sofa, somewhat absent-minded.
Everyone thought she was shy and unwilling to say it; no one thought that she really couldn’t answer the question.
She hadn’t kissed anyone, and she didn’t know what it felt like to kiss.
Recalling the sweetness between Liang Yue and her boyfriend earlier, she thought kissing must be sweet too. When their lips touched, it would be like being wrapped in honey—sweet, greasy, and inseparable.
Perhaps, his lips would be very soft.
As soon as this thought popped up, Jiang Man was startled by herself.
She suddenly realized that she didn’t even know what a kiss was, let alone perform the desire of Saint Teresa.
She was immersed in her emotions until the person beside her pushed her arm. Jiang Man came back to her senses and found that the wine bottle was pointing at her once again.
She was really afraid of drawing a question like the one before. “I’ll choose Dare.”
This time the card was: Send a voice message to the person who messaged you last on WeChat, saying “I’m drunk, can you come pick me up.”
“This is too simple!”
“There’s no difficulty at all!”
A chorus of sighs instantly erupted in the box; everyone felt that this penalty lacked excitement.
Jiang Man smiled helplessly, took out her phone, and opened WeChat.
She was slightly stunned.
As luck would have it, the last message in the chat list was from Qi Zhicheng.
Half an hour ago, he had sent: I have a meeting, will be back later.
Someone saw her dazed and asked, “Sister Man? What’s wrong? Who is the last contact person who messaged you?”
“…My husband.”
A burst of jeering erupted around them, and everyone crowded around, urging Jiang Man to execute the dare quickly.
She clicked on the voice call.
The noise around her instantly quieted a bit, and all eyes were focused on her.
The voice call rang “beep beep.” It rang for a while, and no one answered.
Jiang Man secretly breathed a sigh of relief in her heart, thinking that Qi Zhicheng was probably busy with work and wouldn’t pick up. She showed a helpless smile to the people around her, her finger already on the hang-up button.
Just as she was about to hang up, it connected in the next second.
The other side of the receiver was very quiet.
She could vaguely hear someone reporting work, mixed with a few sentences about data. Obviously, he was in a formal work meeting, and the atmosphere was serious.
“…Am I disturbing you?”
“No.” Qi Zhicheng’s voice came through the receiver. “I’m in a project coordination meeting, it doesn’t matter.” He paused and asked her, “Is the party over?”
Liang Yue and a few colleagues next to her hurriedly made faces at Jiang Man, using their lip shapes to prompt her on what to say.
Jiang Man bit the bullet: “…I’m drunk, can you come pick me up?”
The sound of files flipping came from the other side of the receiver. “Okay.” He almost didn’t hesitate. “Give me fifteen minutes, I’ll be there soon.”
“No need, no need,” Jiang Man hurriedly refused, “you should work!”
She hurriedly hung up the phone.
“Sister Man’s husband is so doting!”
“I didn’t expect Mr. Qi to agree to come pick you up directly! Envious!”
Jiang Man smiled and responded to everyone’s mockery. While everyone continued to play games, she sent a message to Qi Zhicheng to explain.
[Sorry, I was playing Truth or Dare just now. I’m not really drunk. Don’t take it seriously, please continue your meeting. [Smile] [Smile]]
He replied quickly.
[It’s okay. It was just a routine project meeting; it has already been handed over to the vice president to take over.]
It was nine o’clock in the evening when the birthday celebration ended.
The group of people played noisily as they walked out of the box. Jiang Man later messaged Qi Zhicheng to say it wasn’t necessary for him to come, but there was no reply.
The lights in the KTV corridor were dim, and the five-colored decorative light strips shifted and flowed.
Jiang Man was about to take out her phone to see if there were any new messages, but when she touched her pocket, she realized she had forgotten her phone. It must have been left in the box just now.
After telling Liang Yue, she turned back to get it.
Entering the elevator, the number had just jumped to the second floor when the car suddenly made a “boom” sound and stopped moving.
She pressed the elevator buttons a few times, but there was no reaction.
Realizing she was trapped in the elevator, Jiang Man pressed the emergency call button, and the maintenance staff on duty said they would come right away.
Just as her heart had finally settled, the lights in the car flashed twice and then suddenly went out.
The surroundings instantly plunged into total darkness.
Jiang Man’s heart sank abruptly.
The pitch-black completely enveloped her; she couldn’t see anything.
Her heart beat wildly. An intense sense of insecurity surged up. She squatted down slowly against the wall of the carriage, hugging herself.
The current darkness suddenly made her think of the oak forest in New Jersey that was floating with blue melodies. At Bernard’s party, in the same darkness, Qi Zhicheng held her hand and told her that darkness was not so scary. Sometimes it just wanted you to slow down and look at things you usually didn’t notice.
Shall we count? Count to five; maybe there will be a different discovery.
Jiang Man breathed twice to keep calm and started counting silently in her heart.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Again and again, counting from one to five.
I don’t know how long it had been when vague voices of conversation and faint mechanical humming came from outside the car.
The door was pried open to reveal a narrow slit, casting a ray of light.
Slowly, the slit became larger, and more light poured in, gradually dispelling the surrounding darkness little by little.
Jiang Man raised her head and looked into the light.
A tall, broad figure appeared in her field of vision.
In the crevice between light and darkness, she looked up at him in a daze.
It seemed that every time she fell into the fear of pitch blackness, the one who ultimately illuminated that piece of darkness was always his silhouette.
When they got out of the KTV, it started to rain outside.
The heavy rain fell urgently. The black Bentley traveled slowly in the rain, and Jiang Man and Qi Zhicheng sat in the back seat.
“I messaged you to say I was just playing a game and didn’t need you to come pick me up specially; it would delay your work.” Jiang Man turned her head to look at Qi Zhicheng.
“No.” Qi Zhicheng’s gaze fell on her face, and he smiled. “Manman’s affairs are always first priority. To me, you are always the most important.”
Jiang Man’s cheeks were slightly warm. She avoided his gaze and turned to look out the window.
The street lamps on both sides of the street were lit. As it was close to the New Year, many shops hung red lanterns and Spring Festival couplets at their doors, and colored lights were entwined on the branches of the phoenix trees. The atmosphere of the New Year had already quietly permeated.
“Time passes so fast, it’s New Year’s in the blink of an eye.”
“Hmm.”
“My parents said that in two days, they will return to Nancheng to follow up on the industrial park project. I won’t be able to spend the New Year with them.”
Qi Zhicheng looked in the direction of her gaze. “Come back to Jiangzhou with me for the New Year.”
The Qi family’s ancestral home was Jiangzhou. After Qi Yongtai retired, he returned to his hometown in Jiangzhou to accompany his mother.
The Qi family maintained the tradition of ancestor worship during the New Year, at which time all direct and collateral branches gathered together.
Because of the memory loss, returning to Jiangzhou this time could be said to be the first time Jiang Man officially met the Qi family.
She couldn’t help but be a little nervous.
Qi Zhicheng noticed her tension. His fingers crossed over the center console, gently tucking her hand into his palm.
“There may be many people in the Qi family, and it may be a bit noisy, but there is nothing you need to deal with particularly. You just need to stand by my side. Just follow me in those rules and etiquette.”
Jiang Man nodded.
I don’t know if it was because of tension, or because she ate a lot of raw and cold fruit in the KTV and drank some wine, but her stomach suddenly felt acid and bloated.
She subconsciously covered her stomach with her hand.
“What’s wrong? Stomach hurt?”
“My stomach is a bit uncomfortable. It’s fine, it’s just a little bit. It might be because I ate fruit and drank wine. It should be better soon.”
The Bentley happened to be driving to the intersection. The red light came on, and the vehicle slowly stopped.
The rain was heavy, beating against the car window continuously. Pedestrians on the sidewalk were in a hurry, and a pharmacy on the opposite street corner was lit up.
Qi Zhicheng instructed the driver in the front row to go to the pharmacy to buy stomach medicine and hangover medicine.
The car stopped by the road, the driver opened an umbrella and got out of the car, and the car became quiet again.
Under the dim street lamp, the rain was illuminated into long lines. Half of the black car body was hidden in the shadow where the light could not reach.
Qi Zhicheng took out a dark black velvet box from somewhere, the surface of which was glossy.
He opened the lid, and inside was a diamond bracelet.
“Happy Valentine’s Day.”
After a slight moment of surprise, Jiang Man realized that today was White Valentine’s Day.
She said softly, “Thank you… it’s very beautiful.”
“Let me put it on for you.”
Qi Zhicheng leaned slightly toward her.
He lowered his eyes, his eyelashes casting a small shadow on his face, focused and meticulous.
He unfastened the clasp and adjusted the length of the chain, his fingertips accidentally brushing against the skin on the inside of her wrist from time to time.
Jiang Man stared at him quietly. Raindrops pounded violently against the car roof, forming a rhythmic white noise.
The air was filled with dampness.
Her gaze slid from his slender fingers, past his sharply defined jaw, and finally landed on his Adam’s apple.
Adults have 206 bones, and the Adam’s apple is undoubtedly the sexiest bone on a man.
His Adam’s apple protruded slightly, with clean lines and distinct contours.
It rolled slowly with his breathing, carrying a steady and extremely tense male hormone.
Her gaze moved up and landed on his lips.
Qi Zhicheng’s lips were very well-shaped, and the color was light, just like the black silk shirt he often wore, looking cold.
The bracelet clasp was fastened, and Qi Zhicheng raised his eyes.
Their gazes collided without warning.
In the past, they had stared at each other like this several times, but every time Jiang Man would quickly move her eyes away to avoid the gaze.
But this time, she didn’t avoid it.
Just looked at him straight on.
Her eyes reflected the dim light and rain coming through the window, looking into his eyes without any obstruction.
It was still raining, and the sound of rain was the best catalyst, pushing the passionate atmosphere inside the car to the peak.
Jiang Man heard her heart beating faster and faster, and her heart was roaring.
She swallowed her throat and plucked up the courage, “Would you like to… try kissing?”
Qi Zhicheng was silent, did not move, and the emotions in his dark, heavy eyes were obscure.
Rain fell crackling on the car roof, and everything under the rain curtain became blurry.
The next second, he leaned over her slowly, approaching.
Clothes rubbed together with a rustling sound, and the distance between the two closed instantly, caging her in front of him in a trapping posture.
Jiang Man thought he was going to kiss her and closed her eyes tightly.
Her long eyelashes trembled continuously because of nervousness.
But after a while, the expected touch did not come.
Jiang Man opened her eyes in confusion and found that Qi Zhicheng still maintained the posture of being close, without moving at all.
He just stared at her with those pitch-black eyes without blinking.
There was a depth she couldn’t understand in his eyes.
He raised his hand and gently brushed aside a strand of hair falling from her cheek with extra tenderness, and spoke slowly.
“You’re drunk.”
Jiang Man was stunned. “No.”
She repeated, “I said it just now; it was just Truth or Dare, I’m not really drunk.”
The distance between the two was very close, and they could feel each other’s breathing while speaking.
His lips were only inches away from her, and the atmosphere was thick.
Jiang Man looked at his lips, her heart warmed, and she plucked up the courage again.
She tilted her head slightly, wanting to try to stick to him.
The moment their lips were about to touch, Qi Zhicheng turned his head slightly to avoid it.
He suddenly reached out, his large palm cupped the back of her head, the blue veins on the back of his hand creeping out slightly, as if he were trying his best to suppress it.
He looked at her in the dim light.
A few seconds later, he laughed in a temperamental manner.
“Who does Manman want to kiss right now?”
Jiang Man was a little confused, lowered her eyes and whispered, “There is no one else here but you…”
Hearing this, the emotion in Qi Zhicheng’s eyes deepened.
He remembered the other name she called out unconsciously the last time she was drunk.
The force on the back of her head tightened slightly, pressing her closer to him, almost nose to nose.
“Then Manman tell me, who am I.”
Jiang Man was stunned for a few seconds, just as she was about to speak.
The next instant, the man’s thumb pressed against her lips.
He stared at her, gloomily, “Think clearly, then answer.”
He smiled slightly, “If Manman says the wrong name, I will be angry.”
Jiang Man blinked.
“Qi Zhicheng.”
“You are Qi Zhicheng.”
Almost as soon as the words fell, the thumb pressed against her lips was suddenly moved away, replaced by the man’s lips.
His breath was boiling hot, sucking and kissing her lips and tongue.
He kissed hard, the hot tongue tip prying open her lips and petals, breaking in unscrupulously, sucking her tongue tip, their lips and tongues hooking and entwining intimately.
Inside the quiet car, the sticky sound of water overlapped from time to time.
Qi Zhicheng propped one hand on the car window behind her, the muscles on his forearm rolled up by his shirt bulging.
Jiang Man was powerless to fend off, she could only open her lips along with his rhythm, letting him take what he wanted.
It seemed there was a swamp in front of her; the more she struggled, the deeper she sank.
She climbed his shoulder with one hand and supported his chest with the other.
The man’s heartbeat was in the palm of her hand.
The temperature in the car climbed, he kissed deeper and deeper, his fingers inserted into her long hair, and the force of the grinding of their lips grew heavier.
Jiang Man had no experience and couldn’t bear such a kiss at all, and murmured softly in pain.
“Does it hurt?”
He released her slightly, his voice stained with desire, hoarse.
Jiang Man’s breathing was unstable, and she hummed softly, “…a little.”
He lowered his head again, gently pecking and kissing her lips, her brows and eyes.
The kiss lingered to her ears, the moist heat竄ing into the ear roots, burning her hot.
“Is this the Valentine’s Day gift Manman gave me?” He whispered in her ear, “I like it so much.”
Jiang Man tilted her head and looked at him.
Not wanting to lie to him, she bit her lip and said truthfully, “Actually… in the dance drama I am rehearsing, I can never find the feeling for Saint Teresa… The choreographer says I lack a kind of desire.”
Qi Zhicheng hummed “Oh” as if he suddenly realized something. His fingers twisted her lips, and the water marks were vaguely visible on those tender pink lips.
“So, Manman is treating me as a practice object and finding the feeling here with me.”
Jiang Man was not very confident. “…I’m sorry.”
The man laughed sullenly, dismissively, “Happy to help.”
The kiss pressed down again, sucking lightly against her lower lip.
Her thin waist was held in his hand, his large palm holding her slender waist nest, he kissed extremely seriously, his tall, straight bridge of the nose rubbed past her nose tip with his movements.
Jiang Man closed her eyes and indulged in this gentle kiss, her body turning into a pool of water.
She didn’t notice at all that the man’s breathing grew heavier, and the bulging blue veins crisscrossed and climbed up his neck.
All the muscles in his body were trembling with excitement.