In the summer, Y-miss is extremely sensitive to the heat, so we stockpile a ton of ice cream in our fridge. Sometimes, Y-miss gets carried away and eats over a dozen popsicles a day. When she gets a stomachache from eating too much, she groans, but when I tell her to stop, she says she’s terrified of the heat—that the heat makes her feel terrible inside. It wasn’t sustainable for her to keep eating like that.
It wasn’t until a business trip to Guangdong, where I met a local friend, that I learned a solution. She told me that when it’s hot in Guangdong in the summer, they drink liangcha (herbal tea) to cool down instantly, though the taste isn’t great. I thought about it and asked for the recipe. I decided to try making it for Y-miss first; if she didn’t like it, I would find another way. When I got home, I brewed a pot according to my friend’s recipe.
It smelled quite bitter, and I was wondering how to get Y-miss to drink it, when she arrived home from work. She walked into the kitchen, saw me brewing something, and asked if I was cooking up a “magic potion”—ah, what goes through Y-miss’s little head all day? When she saw me, she headed straight for the kitchen, and I knew for sure she was after ice cream.
As she opened the fridge to rummage around, I quickly stopped her and asked her to try the herbal tea first. Y-miss trusts me, so even though it didn’t smell great, she chugged it down in one go. Seeing her eyes light up while she drank it, I knew the tea would work. That night, she finished the whole pot and even instructed me to make another for the next night. Seeing her with more energy that night than when she ate ice cream, I felt grateful to my friend and to the herbal tea.
I wanted to give Y-miss a surprise, so I checked her shopping cart on her phone and saw a set of plates costing 6,000 yuan. Assuming she liked them, I bought them for her.
When they arrived, Y-miss scolded me, asking if I was stupid for spending 6,000 yuan on plates. I said, “But I thought you liked them?” “Who said I liked them?” “I saw them saved in your cart, so I thought you liked them but were reluctant to buy them.”
“Oh, I give up,” Y-miss said, rubbing her forehead with a wry smile. “I was just curious why someone would sell plates for so much money! I wanted to see who would actually buy them.
Why didn’t you ask me before buying them?” “I wanted to surprise you.” “Can they be returned?” “Yes, but this is a surprise gift for you. Can you please not return them?” “Ruru, do you have too much money to burn, spending 6,000 on plates?” I felt aggrieved, miserable, and pathetic, so I curled up in the corner like a mushroom.
Y-miss asked if I was a child. I didn’t say anything. “Fine, fine. I’ll keep them. Don’t buy anything this expensive next time. What kind of family uses 6,000-yuan plates?” “Our family!” “Alright, alright. Tonight we’ll use these 6,000-yuan plates to serve dinner. I want to see if the food tastes better on them.”
While watching videos, a content creator asked what true love should look like. I wanted to comment but didn’t know what to say. After thinking about it, I left the phrase, “To hold one heart, never to be parted,” and scrolled away.
My notifications started blowing up. When I checked, I realized my comment had gone viral. People replied with “together until our hair turns white,” and some asked if I had married my first love. I addressed the topic, saying we met in middle school, I confessed after the high school entrance exam, and we’ve been together for eighteen years. She was about to come home from work, and I was busy preparing our dinner.
Late at night, as we were drifting off, I heard Y-miss mumble that she wanted baozi (steamed buns). Thinking she hadn’t eaten enough for dinner, I patted her gently to soothe her and asked if she could wait until tomorrow.
When she didn’t answer, I thought she was unhappy, so I got up to steam the pork and cabbage buns we’d made at noon. She ended up eating five or six that night, and since I was worried about her getting an upset stomach, I put the rest away.
To my surprise, just as we were about to fall asleep, she was hungry again! I took the remaining buns, steamed them for fifteen minutes, and brought them to the bedroom in a plate. The bedroom was dark, lit only by moonlight through the window
I patted Y-miss to wake her up to eat. Y-miss woke up in a daze and asked why I woke her. I said, “Didn’t you say you were hungry for baozi?” Y-miss looked at me, still half-asleep and confused. “When did I say that?” she looked at me with hazy eyes.
I looked back at her. “Never mind, just have a bite.” Y-miss’s eyelids were fighting, but she tried to stay awake. “Ruru baby, I love you, but I’m so tired.” “I thought you were really hungry, but you were just sleep-talking?” “That’s okay. Can I go to sleep now?” “Go to sleep, go to sleep.”
“Okay, goodnight. You sleep too. Let’s eat them tomorrow morning, okay? Just leave them on the side, don’t go back to the kitchen.” “Okay.” “I’m holding you, sleep now.” “I’m sorry for waking you up.” “It’s fine. Falling asleep to the smell of food is actually quite nice.” Y-miss’s voice became more and more slurred until she fell asleep. “Have a sweet dream, Y-miss.”
After dropping Y-miss off at work in the morning, I had no inspiration for writing and didn’t want to sleep. The house was clean, so I went out to go shopping. I heard Y-miss mention a new commercial street last night, and since her hair ties were worn out, I decided to buy her new ones. I took the bus at 9:30 AM. It wasn’t crowded, so I picked a seat by the window and messaged Y-miss to ask what she wanted for dinner. She was busy and didn’t reply.
I looked out the window at the beautiful scenery—little birds flying freely, sunlight dappled through the leaves—and felt how wonderful life is. I arrived at the station soon after. It wasn’t very crowded in the morning. I found a lady selling handmade hair accessories—crocheted clips that I thought Y-miss would love. I bought two flower-shaped clips and an ebony hair stick with a cloud pattern. I spent some time learning how to use the hair stick from the owner, and after struggling for a while, I managed to learn the basics before heading home.
On the way home, I sent Y-miss a photo of the new things. She replied instantly, saying she loved them and asked where I’d been. I said, “The new commercial street. I’ll take you there tonight after dinner.” “Yay! Tonight I want sweet and sour pork ribs, Coke chicken wings, and braised pork rice!” Y-miss is a total carnivore. I sent her an “OK” sticker and waited at home, using the time to write.
When the clock struck four-thirty, I knew she’d be off soon, so I saved my work and started cooking. By the time she got home, dinner was ready. As Y-miss ate, she told me about her day. I took out the new hair stick and tried to copy what the owner had taught me to style her hair into a bun. Who does this gentle beauty belong to? I kissed her forehead, teasing her. Y-miss spoke between bites, “Yours, yours!” Watching her eat, I felt so proud and thought to myself, That’s right, she’s mine!
When we went out to eat, as soon as we sat down at the restaurant, someone came up to ask for Y-miss’s WeChat. After Y-miss refused, the guy started talking to me, asking if I could introduce my “bestie” to him. I took Y-miss’s hand and said, “No.” I thought it was obvious, but the guy was still foolishly saying, “You and your bestie have such a great relationship! Introduce her to me, I’ll treat her well.”
Seeing that no one was around, Y-miss pulled my hand, and before I could ask what was wrong, she kissed me. It was just a light touch, but it caused explosive damage to that guy. He finally understood, turned red, and bowed. “I’m so sorry, miss. I didn’t realize you were… like that. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry to bother you!” He walked away while bowing. After he left, Y-miss and I looked at each other and burst into laughter. Y-miss said, “Next time someone asks for your WeChat, just say we are a couple. Being subtle doesn’t seem to work.” “Alright.
Why did you kiss me so suddenly today? You shy thing.” “Oh, then I won’t kiss you anymore.” “Ah~ don’t! I’m sorry, I was wrong, please kiss me.” “Nope, still not kissing you.” “Why are you like this?” “I’m just like this.” We bickered all the way home. Thankfully, it wasn’t peak dining hours, otherwise, people would have complained about us being too noisy.
We went to eat chicken leg rice at a Shaxian snacks place. While Y-miss went to buy drinks, I picked all the green leafy vegetables off my plate and onto hers. When she returned, she found her plate with a mountain of greens while mine had none.
“Picky eaters don’t grow tall, and they get dumber too!” “Who said? I’m 171 cm!” “You should at least eat some greens. Being this picky makes you malnourished.” “No, I don’t like them.” “Then what veggies do you like? Let’s order another dish.” “I don’t like any.” “Kids shouldn’t be picky.” I covered both ears, shook my head, and said, “Not listening!” Y-miss had no choice but to dutifully eat all those greens. Y-miss is so doting. Even if it’s an all-veggie feast when we get home, people without a wife wouldn’t understand my happiness and satisfaction.
When the seasons change, I get a runny nose, and after wiping it too much, it gets red and painful. Y-miss felt sorry for me and bought me baby-grade tissues, while she uses the cheap ones. I asked her, “Do you love me a lot, a lot?” Y-miss said, “Yes, yes, I love you a lot, a lot!” And so, we two little clingy things have lived like this, glued together, year after year.
One of my sweaters developed a hole. Feeling my aesthetic sense had improved after being with Y-miss for so long, I excitedly bought a bright red leopard-print sweater online for 98 yuan. I waited impatiently for the delivery. Three days later, it arrived.
I was too lazy to open it, so I asked Y-miss. She opened the package, saw it, and was speechless. She asked why I bought it. I said, “My clothes had a hole.” “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve bought you a new one, or we could have picked one out together.” “We’ve been together so long, my aesthetic must have improved. I didn’t want to bother you, so I just bought one myself.”
“And you chose this?” “Yeah! Isn’t it super pretty, super sexy, and super flashy?” “Ruru, if you wear this sweater out, don’t tell people I’m your partner. I don’t have a girlfriend with such trash aesthetics.” “Huh? Don’t say that! I think it’s okay, it’s not that ugly.” “It’s not ‘ugly,’ it’s traumatizing! Ruru, how did you manage to pick the one piece of clothing that is ugly to the point of exploding out of all the nice ones?” “Ahahaha, I just picked it randomly. You really don’t like it? I’ll return it then.” “Good girl Ruru. Next time you buy clothes, even if you wear rags, don’t buy them yourself, okay? Your aesthetic has truly broken all human limits.” I returned the sweater. When the customer service asked if it didn’t fit, I said, “My wife thinks the clothes don’t suit me.” Ah, after all these years, I still haven’t learned even a third of my wife’s aesthetic sense!