Marn wasn't the biggest man, being a bit on the shorter and stockier side. Paz and I added together probably didn't break one hundred and sixty pounds at this point, but suddenly having two women in your arms when there had been one would throw off anyone's balance. The three of us crashed down into the underbrush in a chaotic tangle of limbs. And then I almost felt sorry for him as Paz and I both vomited on him and rolled around in agony, being char-broiled by the sun. Almost.
Ser Robert was completely stupefied and utterly speechless. In the span of a single breath, his prisoner had turned five shades lighter and lost twenty pounds. And now there was an even paler and smaller second one. Frederick suggested spooky devil magic and he decided that was as good an explanation as any. They manacled Paz and then marched us both the rest of the way back to their camp.
As we were led past tents and horses, the first thing that hit me was the smell. The terrible, terrible smell of unwashed people, poorly cared for animals, and no plumbing of any kind. And my poor, poor Paz. She turned green and dry-heaved. Out of the frying pan and into the shit hole. Not that I was doing much better. I was from the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin, and also didn't have any experience with trudging through manure of both the animal and human varieties.
I looked over at her as we stumbled along. "You good?"
She gave me a weak smile. "A bit more humanity than I was ready for."
Ser Robert walked us in between the tents to a very large man. He was only wearing boots and filthy leather trousers. His arms looked like tree trunks and his belly could double as a table. I guessed he didn't go hungry very often, but the people in his cages sure did. A large key ring hung from his belt and his hair was tied back in a braid. And he smelled like.. gods Below, someone check for necromancy, because this has to be an animated corpse. Behind me, Paz snorted.
"Ser Robert, I see you outdid yourself this time. You bring me such delicious little snacks." He eye-fucked me from head to toe and then moved on to Paz and gods Below, I wanted to rip his fucking eyes out with every fiber of my being. And then feed them to him. "All skin and bones though, bit skinny even for slaves." He looked Paz up and down and chuckled. "At least we don't have to worry about her getting pregnant!" Paz's cheeks burned with embarrassment and hatred and she stared at him as if she were going to light him on fire with nothing but the intensity of her gaze.
"Chris'pher." Robert inclined his head in greeting. "Wat' this one, sh' a bi'er." He nodded toward me. "Sh' gu'ed Sum'r wit' 'is own bla'."
Christopher's eyebrows rose and he leered at me again. "This tiny little thing? I doubt she could lift my cock, let alone a sword!" He guffawed and laughed to himself and celebrated his own brilliant wordplay.
Marn growled. "Well she did. He's dead. And then when we were bringing her back, she did some spooky devil shit and this one fell out of the air on top of me." He gestured viciously at Paz.
"Oh? Well, we certainly don't mind free slaves!" My tail flicked from side to side as he laughed again.
Robert and Marn handed us off to Christopher but told Frederick to stay and keep an eye on us. Then they fucked off in the direction of the pub.
Christopher dragged us over to a series of cages sitting in the mud. Most of the cages had a variety of people in them; I saw a few elves, a few dwarves, a devil-blood like myself, and then the rest were human. Most of them were women, but I saw a handful of men interspersed as well. He started to put Paz and me in separate cages, but then Frederick raised a hand to stop him.
"What is it, boy?"
"Good sir, I beg you listen to my council. There is a very strange magic linking these two together. I believe it would be dangerous to separate them."
Christopher pondered that for a long moment. "Dangerous to us or to them?"
"Both sir." And then the kid launched into a long-winded explanation about magical humors and ley lines. I could remember enough about magical theory to know it was all complete bullshit. Alright, when we broke out of here, I was gonna let Frederick live. The kid seemed half decent.
Christopher shrugged and nodded and shoved us both into a cage. "Come along, boy. Let's go find a stiff drink and a whore to turn you into a man!" He clapped Frederick on the shoulder and dragged him away.
A man in worn, shoddy armor walked over and pulled up a chair beside our cage door. He settled into it and rested his long spear against his shoulder with the most 'I'm so over this fucking place' sigh I've ever heard in my life.
"Hey, rough day?" I leaned against the bars in the most non-threatening way I could manage.
He turned in his chair and gave Paz and me the once over. But his gaze felt like he actually saw us as people, and not women-shaped loot boxes. "Rough fucking year."
I chuckled and gestured to the cage we were standing in. "Yeah, we can relate." I pointed to myself and then the ginger hiding behind me. "I'm Alexis and this is my girlfriend, Paz." She peeked out from behind my shoulder.
He inclined his head. "Jack."
"Well met, Jack." I chuckled. "Well, maybe not as nice to meet you as I'd like." He chuckled too. I tilted my head as I looked him over. He had sandy blond hair and kind, hazel eyes. He was also incredibly fit, especially compared to the creepy men I saw walking past and leering at us as they went.
"Yeah, seems like you're having a rough go of it as well. Hopefully the gods Above hear your prayers and grant some reprieve." Behind me, Paz snorted and shook her head in disgust.
"Jack, you don't really look like you belong or even want to be here. Do you wanna talk about it?"
He seemed very happy to have someone to vent to and his shoulders slumped. "My wife keeps pressuring me to quit this awful fucking job and move to Arcadia or Vynth'Sevyr. Somewhere we can put down roots and escape this shitty life of treating people like cattle, or worse."
"Why don't you?" My tone was kind and oh so very soft, as if I was holding out my hand towards a skittish animal that I didn't want to spook.
"Because the money is so good." He gave a harsh chuckle and a self-deprecating shake of his head. "Besides, if I left, then someone worse would just take my place."
"Both very valid reasons." I tilted my head and considered him. "But where I come from, there is an ancient saying that wise men share in difficult times." He perked up and indicated I should continue. "Happy wife, happy life."
He laughed and some actual life seemed to seep into his eyes. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right about that.." He trailed off and shook his head. He looked back at us and smiled. "I should get you ladies some food. You look like you haven't eaten in a year." That was near enough accurate. I both expressed my thanks as he surged to his feet and marched toward the mess tent.
Paz tapped my shoulder. "So what are we going to do to get out of here? Compared to a demonic prison cell, this place should be a piece of cake." It always amused me when she used idioms and expressions she had picked up from me.
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Plan to take over the world. "We escape and then head to Arcadia." I thought for a second. "But not before they feed us."