“By the way, Senpai, what about dinner? It’s already quite late.”
Following her glance at the clock, Hatano, who had come up to her house to drop her off and was treated to coffee, also checked the time. After creating promotional pieces at the craft workshop, it was already 9 PM when they headed home. It was a bit late for dinner.
Hatano had classes tomorrow. If it got too late, he’d miss the last train and have to stay over. It wasn’t impossible to commute from here, but going back to get his belongings would be troublesome. After resting his chin on his hand and thinking, Hatano reluctantly announced his intention to return home.
“I’d love to stay for dinner, but it’s really late, so I’ll head back. I have classes starting from the first period tomorrow, and taking the earliest train to get my teaching tools and then going to school… that would be troublesome too. Sorry, but I’ll leave early.”
Hatano, aware that he led a fairly healthy lifestyle, gave a small yawn. Watching him, Shinomiya nodded with a slightly lonely expression, saying, “I understand.”
“—Ah.”
That was when Shinomiya suddenly stopped moving, as if remembering something, and murmured.
Then, she glanced at Hatano.
Hatano tilted his head, not understanding the meaning of her gaze, but Shinomiya continued staring at him with slightly flushed cheeks, seemingly pondering something. “Hmm,” she groaned, looking extremely troubled, and eventually, pretending it was unavoidable, began rummaging through the wardrobe in her bedroom.
Taking out something shining silver from the shelf, Shinomiya hurried over, shyly but with an indifferent expression and tone to hide it, and offered it to him.
Realizing what it was, Hatano was speechless and widened his eyes.
When he looked at her face to ask if it was okay, she had turned her face away, her ears red.
“A spare key… I’ll give it to you, just in case.”
Illuminated by the ceiling light, the silver object was a key.
Hatano stared blankly at the spare key placed on her soft, small hands, unsure what to do. Since it was offered, he should probably accept it, but how should he interpret the intention? Was it insurance for any future incidents, or an invitation to come to her house anytime he liked? If it was the latter, it felt almost like a confession, and accepting it might mean reciprocating that feeling.
Hatano hesitated with a stern expression, but noticing a faint hint of anxiety in Shinomiya’s expression, he realized there was no option to refuse. “Well then,” Hatano extended his fingers and took the spare key from her hand. It was a simple key without a keychain.
“I’ll take it, just in case.”
Hatano said that and smiled slightly. There was no doubt that offering a spare key was based on feelings of affection, love, friendship, or similar emotions. He should savor the fact that Shinomiya had courageously acted on it.
Shinomiya showed a relieved expression, albeit shyly, when Hatano accepted the key. Seeing her face like this, Hatano wanted to visit this house again someday using this spare key. Thinking such thoughts, Hatano prepared to head home, putting the received key into his wallet, when his eyes suddenly caught the lantern.
An incredibly beautiful scene of water mixed with indigo and ultramarine. The first step of an artist’s revival—no, even less than that, a piece like putting strength into the supporting leg to start walking.
If he took this home, it would surely attract attention.
Hatano, who understood the value of this single piece about third-best in the world, gazed at it for a while, then looked at his own crude work. Comparing them, the difference was so stark he couldn’t help but laugh, and he spoke with the emotion that vaguely surfaced.
“Hey, Shinomiya.”
When he called, she looked at him wondering what was wrong.
To her, he pointed at the lantern.
“Can I leave this here?”
When Hatano said that, Shinomiya immediately showed an anxious expression. It seemed as if she was worried, asking whether her work was so terrible that it wasn’t worth taking home.
“…You don’t want to take it home?”
Hearing her mutter with slight dissatisfaction, not hiding her loneliness, Hatano sensed a misunderstanding. “Ah, no,” chastising himself inwardly for his insufficient words, Hatano picked up the lantern she had painted on the table and placed it alongside his own on the shelf.
When placed side by side again, the skill difference was still prominent, making him laugh. However, simultaneously, he felt a strange sense of reassurance seeing these two works with completely different levels of completion side by side. They might be gifts to each other, but Hatano wanted to keep the piece made for the other person, created together in the same time and place, as a precious record of memories.
“Somehow, I want to keep these two together.”
There was no clear reason. Just like extending a hand to her distress, there was no reason, but he felt it was right to do so. Hearing Hatano’s words, Shinomiya looked slightly puzzled, but as if driven by his words, she looked at the lanterns placed side by side, gazing at the unbalanced pair for a while. Like mismatched couple bowls, though different in appearance, placing them together gave them new meaning, and she likely grasped the true intent of Hatano’s words. Shinomiya relaxed her cheeks slightly.
“Is it okay, with Senpai’s lantern next to it?”
“What, mocking me? It’s well-written, right?”
“The writing is good. The writing.”
Shinomiya gently picked up the lantern on the shelf and stroked the miscellaneous drawings. A clumsy pink heart mark, a cat turning into a monstrous shape, a burnt-brown star. Since he thought she was skillful, seeing such clumsy parts made her endearing. Moreover, whatever it was, the feelings imbued in it were genuine. “I like the drawings too,” Shinomiya whispered softly and returned Hatano’s lantern to the shelf.
Following that, Hatano placed his lantern beside it. And he murmured.
“I’ll come again.”
—That spare key must be for that purpose. Murmuring with that intention included, Shinomiya slightly widened her eyes in surprise, shyly lowering her gaze. With faintly flushed cheeks, she started to say something, stopped, smiled, and then said “Yes,” not hiding the emotion rising from the depths of her heart.
For a while, the two gazed at the lanterns placed side by side. Without words, only the sound of the second hand echoed in the room. Breaking the silence that didn’t feel awkward was Shinomiya. After glancing at the easel placed against the wall and the slightly dirty old canvas, she looked at the lanterns again and closed her eyes as if savoring something.
“Thank you.”
When Hatano looked at Shinomiya wondering what she was thanking for, Shinomiya smiled.
“For everything, various things… really.”
The layered words contained gratitude for the accumulated time with Hatano. Sensing that, Hatano smiled slightly.
Their meeting was terrible. This relationship started from aversion, but the reason time accumulated like this was probably because the depths of their hearts, which they gradually approached and understood, were something they could comprehend. So Hatano couldn’t leave her alone, and she accepted Hatano’s kindness. Thus, Shinomiya, who had moved forward even just a little today, gave Hatano words of gratitude as a conclusion. Then, he should accept it honestly.
“You’re welcome.”
To convey things correctly, words need adornment. Deep as the sea, large as mountains, high as the sky. When conveying objects, words must be carefully crafted to avoid discrepancies, but when conveying ‘heart,’ it’s different. Expressions, voice, relationships—no matter how unadorned the words are deliver emotions more eloquently than words themselves.
Hearing Hatano’s unadorned words, Shinomiya hid her loosening cheeks by biting her lip. Still unable to hold back, she smiled happily and shyly said.
“Please, definitely come again.”
At her unexpectedly cute smile, unimaginable from when they first met, Hatano also smiled. Then, parting from her who now showed such a smile, he felt loneliness, surprising even himself. Of course, he thought to nod and say “Of course,” but judging that surely all the emotions in his heart wouldn’t be conveyed, Hatano gently hugged her slender body. Inside Hatano were various emotions, surely ones that shouldn’t remain as they were, but now, without finding answers, he just hugged her.
“—Ah.”
Shinomiya’s body stiffened in surprise.
But, as if surrendering to Hatano, the strength gradually left her body. Shinomiya clung to Hatano’s waist with her small hands, rubbing her forehead against his shoulder like a small animal. Feeling ticklish, Hatano couldn’t help but laugh and stroked her head.
“I’ll just use the bathroom before leaving.”
“Yes!”
After finishing the hug and preparing to leave, Hatano placed his coat and belongings on the sofa and headed to the bathroom. Shinomiya watched her go, aware of her own cheerful, elated state.
As she watched Hatano disappear into the bathroom, Shinomiya checked her own heart, which kept thumping rapidly. Was it broken? Was it intact? After checking, with her mind and body still unsettled, she touched her head with both hands, confirming the faint sensation of Hatano’s hand lingering there.
“Uhehe.”
She couldn’t help but spill a sloppy smile. Today, maybe she’d take a shower a bit later. Thinking such things, she immersed herself in the afterglow of the hug.
Then, she gazed at the lantern on the shelf. After a long time, a very long time, she had drawn a picture. Her skills had dulled, and her color usage had become rougher than during her childhood. Her technique had certainly declined, but for the first time, she had imbued her heart into the painting.
Whether it was because she had gained emotions to imbue for the first time, because she had grown and acquired sensibility, or because she could do so without fear, she didn’t know. But she felt she had come to like the world of painting, which she had desperately wanted to avoid, just a little.
All thanks to Hatano.
At first, he was an unpleasant person. He denied the way of life she thought was the only one, yet didn’t hold special feelings for her. He didn’t acknowledge her as a single individual. He was the only one who acknowledged her choosing a destructive lifestyle, and simultaneously, he saw the efforts of a struggling painter. The ‘unpleasant person’ had unknowingly changed into a ‘strange person.’ And now, considering how her heart became tangled thinking of him, the ‘strange person’ had probably unknowingly changed into ‘special.’
If her heart swayed so much, this emotion surely was—
That moment when Shinomiya tried to name her own heart.
Vrr, a vibration sound echoed in the quiet living room. For a moment, Shinomiya touched her own cellphone, but the vibration wasn’t coming from there.
Then, listening carefully, Shinomiya realized Hatano’s smartphone, placed haphazardly on the sofa, was the source of the sound. The screen of the smartphone placed on the coat lit up, and Shinomiya muttered “Ah—” understandingly, realizing someone had sent a message to Hatano’s phone. For a moment, she almost saw the sent text and the sender, but Shinomiya hurriedly turned her eyes away, careful not to interfere with someone’s privacy.
However, half a second after turning away. Realizing the icon image set by the sender was a picture she knew, Shinomiya widened her eyes as if shocked, and stopped moving.
The icon was a picture of a blowfish she had drawn during childhood.
Seeing the same picture as the set icon image at the edge of the table, Shinomiya placed her hand on her chest to suppress her rapidly accelerating heartbeat. There was a person who had set a picture she drew during childhood as a messaging app icon. And that person had sent some message to Hatano’s smartphone. Connecting these facts, Shinomiya knew it was wrong, but while apologizing “Sorry,” she looked at the sent message.
Long time no see. How is my sister doing?
If you could let me know periodically within reasonable limits, it would help—Rokai
Rokai, Shinomiya immediately muttered with a dry mouth.
Her brain heated up. Like a machine overloaded with information beyond processing capacity, her brain grew hot and dull, and Shinomiya pondered deeply the meaning of this message sent to Hatano. But there was no need to think. It meant Hatano and Rokai had a connection.
But why hadn’t Hatano told her about it until now?
Even though she had talked about Rokai so much, she hadn’t mentioned anything about this. It wasn’t something forgotten or trivial. Hatano had definitely hidden her connection with Rokai from Shinomiya. Hidden it.
“Why?”
An unintentionally dry, hoarse voice leaked out. Her vision swayed greatly. Like plastic distorted by heat, her vision bent, and she felt dizzy. Shinomiya closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and somehow calmed her agitation. Suppressing her annoyingly jumping heart, she pondered.
Being hidden from her sister’s connection was shocking.
But the problem was ‘since when had the two been connected?’ Starting to think, chills wouldn’t stop. Normally, she would interpret that the kind-hearted Hatano, knowing her circumstances, had somehow contacted her sister.
Then, there was a reason for hiding it. Probably thinking Shinomiya would be hurt if she knew, since her relationship with her sister wasn’t good. Indeed, if told a bit earlier, she might have hesitated to open her heart to Hatano. So, that judgment was correct.
But if it wasn’t like that.
If from the beginning, she had been contacted because her sister told her.
Calling her out on holidays, eating crepes together, going to the aquarium, enjoying painting lanterns. If all the actions she thought were Hatano’s goodwill were actually arrangements from Rokai.—Thinking that, maggots swarmed in her brain.
Her heart was stirred chaotically, her breathing slightly rough.
She didn’t dislike her sister. She didn’t dislike the two having a connection. The hidden matter was shocking, but she could think it was out of consideration. So, there was no feeling like sadness there.
But the possibility that Hatano might have acted under her sister’s instructions was corroding Shinomiya’s heart.
If the kindness Hatano gave was from her sister, what should this heart, which was becoming attracted, do? Asking no one in particular, Shinomiya pressed her aching chest and bit her lip tightly.