Yin Xuesu never imagined that one day she would be reduced to a surrogate mother, used for another’s surrogacy for offspring.
She had only been driven by the need to make a living, intending to find a job through a labor broker.
As fate would have it, the surrogate mother the broker had originally arranged for fell suddenly and severely ill. Not wanting to miss out on the generous reward offered by the mysterious employer, the broker set their sights on Yin Xuesu, who had arrived at just the right time.
Yin Xuesu lost consciousness after drinking a single bowl of tea.
By the time she woke up, the die was cast.
With a silver tongue, the broker used a combination of coaxing, deception, and threats to persuade her to accept the situation.
Bereft of ideas and with a critically ill mother waiting for money to stay alive, Yin Xuesu could only endure the humiliation and agree.
Not long after, she was indeed pregnant.
She thought that once she gave birth, she could treat the ordeal like a nightmare—a boat passing through water leaving no trace.
She had no intention of ever marrying in this life. She planned only to care for her mother until the end and then find a convent to shave her head and become a nun.
Little did she know, the birth of the child was only the beginning of her nightmare…
The bed curtains swayed, creaking rhythmically.
Yin Xuesu snapped her eyes open!
She bolted upright, her upper body colliding unexpectedly with a wall of flesh. Her entire body instantly turned to cotton; she lost all strength and fell back onto the pillow.
A wave of suffocation followed.
A palm was clamped around her throat, leaving her almost unable to breathe.
Yin Xuesu’s hands instinctively clawed at the sturdy, powerful arm. She used every ounce of her strength, her nails sinking into the taut flesh. Soon, the scent of blood reached her nose.
The man above let out a soft hiss and loosened his grip.
He stopped.
In the darkness, their breathing was audible.
Yin Xuesu was still gasping for air.
Like someone who had nearly drowned in an abyss and finally crawled onto the shore, she breathed greedily, wishing she could pull every bit of air into her lungs.
The stinging pain on her neck remained, making her feel as though she were dying.
Now, a new pain was added.
The difference was that this pain was physical and real.
The tangible agony slowly pulled her scattered consciousness back to reality.
She thought she had died, her life ended by a white silk cord.
But she was alive again.
She knew who the man on top of her was—the father of her child.
Yet, from birth until death, she had never seen what he looked like…
Yin Xuesu stared fixedly upward, sensing that the other person was also sizing her up.
Just then, there were two sharp taps against the wall.
Yin Xuesu knew clearly that it was the man’s wife—the woman who had bought her to bear a child.
She likely felt that today’s session was taking too long.
Receiving the reminder, the man pinned her hands firmly beside her pillow and resumed what had just been interrupted.
It was mechanical, devoid of emotion, merely a task he was anxious to complete.
He cared nothing for the sudden condition of the person beneath him; he only wanted to quickly end this affair that was an ordeal for all three people involved.
Inside the bed curtains, the space suddenly felt cramped, turning into a steam room.
Hot sweat dripped down continuously.
…With a heavy groan, it was over.
The man suffered a brief lapse of focus, leaning over the woman for a moment to recover before getting out of bed, leaving the person on the mattress lying there naked.
No sliver of light was permitted in this room. He cleaned himself up briefly, threw on his robes, and went out.
He went first to the washroom to clean up, then to the adjacent side room where his beloved wife was waiting for him.
Yin Xuesu held her breath and listened.
The sound of chairs moving came from next door, along with faint voices—
Until all sound vanished.
The couple, just like every time before, must have left together, hand in hand.
The corners of Yin Xuesu’s mouth twitched into a silent smile.
The laughter grew louder and louder.
It was shrill, piercing, and even a bit maddening.
Granny Wang, who had pushed open the door to serve her, froze in her tracks, breaking into a cold sweat.
She could hardly believe this was the same Yin Xuesu who was usually as gentle as water and rarely spoke; she sounded like a vengeful ghost demanding a life.
Yin Xuesu continued to laugh uncontrollably.
As she laughed, two streaks of clear tears slid from the corners of her eyes.
“Tong Jinxian! Zhao Shiyan…”
She ground those six characters between her teeth, as if chewing on their flesh and blood.
After boarding the carriage, Tong Jinxian threw off Zhao Shiyan’s hand and moved far away from him. her pretty face was as dark as stagnant water, and her entire being radiated rejection.
Knowing she was feeling upset again, Zhao Shiyan ignored her cold expression and sat close to her, pulling her hand onto his lap.
Tong Jinxian couldn’t break free, so she let him have it. She kept her head turned toward the window, giving him the back of her head.
Zhao Shiyan stroked the back of her hand, trying to soothe her emotions. “I know you’re unhappy. Seeing you like this makes me feel terrible, too.”
Tong Jinxian endured it as long as she could before finally snapping her head around. “You’re unhappy? From what I saw, you were enjoying yourself quite well.”
The thorn-filled, resentful tone caused Zhao Shiyan to fall silent for a moment. He said, “If it’s truly like this, then let’s just forget the whole thing.”
Tong Jinxian refused, gritting her teeth. “Things have already come this far. How can we give up halfway?”
Zhao Shiyan let out a helpless sigh. “If you are so determined, then why bother?” Why bother being so hot and cold?
Midway through his sentence, he noticed his wife’s eyes were turning red. He quickly swallowed his words and pulled her into his arms to comfort her softly.
“It will be over soon. As soon as she conceives, we will never come to this place that makes you sad again.”
In truth, he hadn’t wanted his wife to come along in the first place. He knew such a thing would hurt her.
Yet his wife had insisted.
Just as he had initially disapproved of this entire matter, but in the end, he couldn’t withstand his wife’s relentless pressure and agreed.
This time, Tong Jinxian did not push him away. She simply gripped his hem tightly, looking up at him and asking, “Did you kiss her?”
This was a question that had been asked countless times in a short period.
Zhao Shiyan, as he had every time before, answered patiently, “No.”
“Did you speak to her?”
“No.”
“Did you—”
“I didn’t kiss her, I didn’t hold her, I didn’t say a single word to her, and I certainly didn’t see what she looks like. You can rest easy.”
This was their prior agreement.
Before they had first come to the Paulownia Courtyard in Qingfeng Alley, before he had first stepped into that room, Tong Jinxian had gripped him just as tightly, her bloodshot eyes staring as she emphasized: “You are not allowed to light a lamp, not allowed to kiss her, not allowed to speak to her, and definitely not allowed to take forever!”
Zhao Shiyan had followed every instruction.
Tong Jinxian was still uneasy, staring at him. “You won’t fall for her, will you?”
“How could you think that?” Zhao Shiyan was genuinely astonished, nearly ready to swear an oath. “Forget that I don’t even know what she looks like—even if she were as beautiful as a goddess, so what? Jinxian, I only have you in my heart. You should understand my feelings for you.”
Tong Jinxian opened her mouth, then closed it again.
Yes, she knew better than anyone how much Zhao Shiyan loved her.
It was precisely because she believed so absolutely in their deep affection—believed that they were an inseparable unit—that she dared to make this move.
The pain and the torment were only temporary.
As long as that woman gave birth to a son, as long as she had a son to rely on, she would be completely worry-free for the rest of her life.
In the end, Tong Jinxian said nothing more. She leaned submissively into Zhao Shiyan’s arms and closed her eyes.
Seeing her calm down, Zhao Shiyan shook his head with a hint of doting indulgence. “You, really…”