The members I initially considered for the debut lineup were Lee Hwayoung, Do Yuda, Woo Kangwon, and Nagi Zen. Regardless of their level of perfection, it was clear from the beginning that they were trainees with exceptional talent. And Baek Kiryang, who at first didn’t stand out much due to his timid personality, joined them later.
In the end, the last name on the list was Lee Danbi.
‘Unlike Baek Kiryang, I couldn’t easily make a judgment about Lee Danbi.’
I was someone who brought PRISM to the pinnacle of success, and I had honed my ability to recognize people’s talents by observing fellow singers. The reason I hesitated to choose Lee Danbi as a member until the very end was solely due to a single factor.
‘For Lee Danbi…….’
Cha Woon’s mouth moved at the same time as my thoughts.
“As for Trainee Lee Danbi….”
‘Because he doesn’t have the talent.
‘
“He doesn’t have the talent.”
And the words he spat out were exactly what I had expected to hear.
The doubts I had hoped would be denied came out of someone else’s mouth, exactly as I had feared. And it came from someone who had spent as many years in this industry as I had. When I remained silent, Cha Woon tilted his head as if he’d expected my reaction. Then, he started talking without restraint.
“After watching the broadcast and seeing the trainees practice, I was able to tell. I got a general idea of which trainees Han Seungbeom had guided to become the debut members. It’s really impressive. It’s astounding how a mere trainee could discover and keep around only the most talented and promising kids from the very beginning.”
“…….”
“However, if you want to know if Trainee Lee Danbi would be a good fit for those members, I can give you a straightforward answer. Since I don’t have any particular positive or negative feelings toward the trainees, I can give you the most realistic answer.”
“…What are you trying to say?”
There was no need for him to beat around the bush. I already understood the intentions behind those words. When I asked him a question that forced him to be concise, Cha Woon hesitated for a moment before speaking.
“Let me be blunt. Trainee Lee Danbi is not suited to debut with those talented trainees. He’ll definitely be left behind. Trainee Han Seungbeom, you couldn’t have not noticed that .. but why are you just letting it happen?”
The moment I heard those words, a chill ran down my spine. I unconsciously turned my head and looked at the door.
There was a bright light shining down the hallway of the practice room.
And the lights in the hallway were activated by sensors.
‘Don’t tell me.’
At this time of the day, when most of the trainees were resting, there was a fixed number of people who kept going in and out of the practice room. Among them, there was also a child who should not have heard this conversation.
It was only when the sensor light in front of the practice room had completely gone out that I suddenly realized something. I immediately turned to Cha Woon. Since he was standing in front of me, he might have seen who had passed by.
“…It was Lee Danbi.”
Cha Woon, looking quite flustered, muttered the name of the child who had been there just moments ago. For someone who had just told me that Lee Danbi should be abandoned, he seemed surprisingly disconcerted.
‘This is bad…….’
Lee Danbi must have heard what we just said.
As soon as I realized that, my mind became a tangled mess.
With the live broadcast for the final debut member announcement approaching, the one who was probably feeling the most anxious was Lee Danbi. His current ranking wasn’t good enough to make it into the final debut lineup. In other words, even without any external pressure, Lee Danbi was already desperate enough. Pushing him further would only add to his anxiety and fear.
I immediately turned around to run after Lee Danbi.
“I’m going to check on Lee Danbi for a minute.”
“What are you planning to do if you go after him?”
Then, a calm voice reached my ears. It wasn’t that difficult to guess the owner of that voice in a practice room with only two people.
“Just leave him alone. It’s something he should have learned sooner or later.”
It was Cha Woon. Gone was the agitation from earlier, and with a completely calm face, he was urging me to stop.
Had I been in my original body, I would have left without listening to him, but I was in a different position now.
When I had no choice but to stop, he added a few words.
“It’s pointless even if you go. It would be better for his life if you just leave him alone.”
“You can never be sure of that. Nobody knows what the future holds.”
“No. It would be better for Lee Danbi to give up on that dream here. With his level of talent, he’ll have to walk a thorny path ahead, and even you, Trainee Han Seungbeom, won’t always be able to solve all those challenges for him.”
“…….”
“If he debuts like this, the line between those with talent and those without will be clearly drawn. That’s how the public gaze works. The members that Trainee Han Seungbeom found are all exceptionally talented, far outshining their peers … Do you think Trainee Lee Danbi will be able to survive by himself among them?”
I quietly stared at Cha Woon’s face as he coldly poured out those words. However, as if deliberately avoiding my gaze, he fixed his eyes on something else and continued.
“I’ve seen countless people who missed the right time to leave and ended up facing a miserable end.”
“…….”
“Those people always say the same thing.
If only I had realized sooner that I didn’t have talent, I wouldn’t have ended up like this
. For Trainee Lee Danbi, now is that
sooner
. It’s better to leave now than to get hurt later. At his age, there’s still plenty of time to find a different path.”
Cha Woon was different from Frick.
Although he sometimes crossed the line with his personality, he was never one to make baseless claims.
‘Perhaps this is just Cha Woon’s way of expressing his affection.’
But no matter what Cha Woon’s intentions were, I couldn’t agree with his words. I could never tell Lee Danbi to give up on his dream, and I had to hurry and chase after that child.
After steadying my breathing, I opened my mouth.
“There’s no guarantee that Lee Danbi will end up in the exact same situation as the people who said those things to you, Cha Woon-sunbaenim. Life flows under so many different circumstances and variables, and there is no one who can understand another person’s life more deeply than they understand their own. In the end, only the person themselves knows which choices will make them happy or unhappy. Therefore, I believe that life should be lived by one’s own choices, not anyone else’s.”
“…….”
“Lee Danbi is here because of his own choices. And he is clinging onto this more desperately than anyone I’ve seen here. So, I’m willing to help him through this process so he won’t have any regrets.”
“Trainee Han Seungbeom, do you not think that your encouragement is harming Lee Danbi’s future?”
“Yes, I don’t. My encouragement will be helpful to Lee Danbi, but it won’t cause any harm.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
“Because Lee Danbi won’t give up on his dream, no matter what happens.”
“…….”
“Sunbaenim, you may understand Lee Danbi’s talent, but I understand his character. I assure you, he’s the kind of person who will keep moving forward towards his goal, no matter how much he gets hurt. If the ship is going to sail on regardless, I might as well row it so that it can reach its destination with less damage. That’s my role.”
Cha Woon did not respond to my answer and lowered his head.
At the same time, a shadow fell over his face, so his expression was hard to see. I gave up on trying to check Cha Woon’s reaction and spoke again.
“Then I will go to Lee Danbi. I understand very well the intention behind the words you said, sunbaenim, so don’t worry. I will make sure to explain it to Lee Danbi so he doesn’t take it the wrong way.”
Just as I was about to leave the practice room after saying those final words, my wrist was grabbed.
Startled, I tried to immediately free myself from his grip. But Cha Woon, with a sunken expression, held onto me until the end.
“…….”
“Sunbaenim?”
As I struggled to get away, Han Seungbeom’s undeveloped body wobbled. Cha Woon remained still, gazing down at the floor from the chair where he had initially sat.
‘Why is he like this?’
It was only after I had exhausted myself and given up resisting that Cha Woon quietly gave me a warning.
“You don’t seem to realize how lethal your existence is to others.”
“…Yes?”
“People like you will never realize it. You don’t know what kind of existence you are, nor do you know how much pain those around you will suffer when you disappear, all while giving them false hope.”
‘What is this?’
“Children will become arrogant someday. They will take the comfort you give them for granted, and end up hurting you, and eventually, they’ll lose their way just by losing you. Regardless of whether they are ordinary or genius.”
It felt like the conversation was veering off course. Weren’t we just talking about Lee Danbi’s talent?
There was too little time to try to read Cha Woon’s inner thoughts. How many minutes had passed since that child ran off?
I came up with lines that an
ordinary trainee
would say in order to get away from Cha Woon’s strange behavior.
“…I don’t understand why you’re saying that to me. Please let me go.”
Then, the hand gripped me tighter.
But unlike the strong hand, I heard a voice that sounded fragile.
“Whenever I look at you, I get angry. I can’t keep my composure.”
“…….”
‘Cha Woon?’
I almost called his name out of habit. Fortunately, Cha Woon’s words continued, so I was able to avoid making such a mistake.
A shaky voice spoke.
“Even though I know I’m projecting someone else onto you, and even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t stop. I think I’m scared of the day when you’ll end up being resented by Lee Danbi.”
“That day will never come.”
“….The members of Prism actually became like that. Me too, and the other members as well!”
Cha Woon’s grip loosened, and I could feel him shaking uncontrollably. I let out a sigh as I watched him, clearly losing his composure. But perhaps he was too distraught to even notice it, as he hurriedly opened his mouth again.
“Do you know why Yutae-hyung left Prism? We did that to him. The real problem was our inferiority complex, yet to an innocent person, we told him to get out!”
“Enough. I think you need to calm down.”
I cut Cha Woon off before he could say anything more. I had noticed his manager lingering near the door of the practice room, perhaps sensing something was amiss. If the company found out that Prism’s internal matters was leaking out, things could get complicated.
And … I didn’t want to hear any more.
I pushed Cha Woon’s shoulder away and said calmly, “If you want to speak to me while you’re in a clear state of mind, I will listen to you as much as you want. But if you lose your reason and say something you don’t mean to, something that you’ll regret later, it would be better to stop here.”
“…….”
“…I think it’s best if you go home and get some rest for the day.”
I greeted the manager, who had eventually opened the door and entered. Then, I supported Cha Woon, who still seemed to be stuck in his panic, and passed him over.
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Translator’s Corner:
Who’s sad … me …. petition to add Pain and Suffering as a tag in NU….