When I said, “
Let’s think about this together
“, Lee Danbi’s eyes sparkled with hope.
I looked down at Lee Danbi, who was focusing on me to a burdensome degree, and carefully chose my words.
I had to be careful. This was something that could affect Lee Danbi’s life forever.
I had to think carefully about how I could help him, and how I could do it without hurting him.
‘Ugh, why is dealing with much younger kids so difficult?’
Maybe I was being overly cautious because of the discord in Prism, but to begin with, I rarely had serious conversations with someone this much younger than me.
The relationship between an adult and a child naturally came with its own set of responsibilities, so I needed to be careful.
Since people had no way of knowing my real age, I wouldn’t be socially reprimanded if I feigned ignorance, but then again, I already felt responsible.
And I didn’t want to go through what I went through in Prism ever again.
Perhaps, I was being uncharacteristically scared.
‘…….’
Lee Danbi desperately dreamed of becoming an idol. With his parents opposing the idea, the only way to achieve this dream before adulthood was to debut through this program. If he failed to debut this time, Lee Danbi would end up wasting his youth taking care of his younger siblings, much like his older sister. As much as he didn’t want it to happen, he had never once succeeded in entering the debut zone, and with his lack of talent compared to the other members, there was a good chance that if he did make it, he would have a difficult path ahead of him, just like Jo Inchan of Prism.
That was the general outline of the situation.
‘It’s a complicated situation.’
Making Lee Danbi’s name appear on the debut lineup wasn’t a big problem. From the start, I had believed that he had what it took to make it that far, that was the reason why I chose him as a member in the fourth mission. I also had the capability to make that happen.
The groundwork had already been laid, and Lee Danbi’s current ranking was simply a disappointment, not a big problem.
The problem was the one Cha Woon had mentioned.
After debuting, will Lee Danbi be able to endure seeing the other members surpass him?
And will he be able to withstand the sharp criticism from the public?
Even if he confidently claimed that he would be able to endure it right now, no one knew what would happen when he actually faced that situation. After all,
that guy
didn’t turn out that way because he had a particularly poor personality or lacked willpower
Thinking of Jo Inchan’s scarred knees, I opened my mouth with a heavy heart.
“There’s something I have to tell you, and I have to be really honest about it.”
“….Okay.”
“As you’ve seen throughout the program, among the trainees who are currently in the debut zone, the ones who have taken my hand are the so-called
talented people.
I recognized their talent in advance, and I’ve worked hard throughout the program so that their talent wouldn’t be crushed by others. I believed it was the best thing to do, both for them and for me.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of that.”
“Alright. But I can’t guarantee that it will work positively for you as well. No, it will probably hurt you, just like Cha Woon-sunbaenim said.”
“…….”
“For the same amount of effort, they’re going to gain so much more than you, and even if you put in tens or hundreds of times as much effort, you may never reach the level they reached … that’s what talent is.”
Lee Danbi quietly lowered his eyes in response to my words.
He seemed to understand what I was saying at once. It shouldn’t be too hard for him to understand, he had already experienced it firsthand.
Nagi Zen.
The guy who was so lacking in skill that he couldn’t even be compared to Lee Danbi when they first met had now grown to the point where he could take the center position of a performance. In just a few months since the program started, Nagi Zen, who was graded D, had already surpassed Lee Danbi, who was graded S, and was now running ahead of him.
Lee Danbi, who had witnessed Nagi Zen passing him by, must have desperately tried not to let it bother him. Perhaps recalling that memory, Lee Danbi spoke in a downcast tone.
“Are you saying that the feelings I felt for Zen-hyung will be repeated in the future?”
“Yes. It might not just be a simple repetition, but it could become heavier and heavier over time.”
The sense of emptiness that Lee Danbi felt when looking at Nagi Zen was just a small taste of what was to come.
Once the group activities began in earnest and the public started to voice their opinions, Lee Danbi would face hardships that would be incomparable to what he was feeling now.
I had to let him know in advance how painful it would be.
“People will mock your achievements, and you will have to endure the public’s ridicule while standing on the same stage as your members, without any room to escape. Your efforts might not be of any help in that situation.”
“…….”
Hearing that his efforts might not be of any use, Lee Danbi became shaken. He then asked, as if he couldn’t believe it.
“…Isn’t that the only thing I can do? What others do ten times, I’ll do five hundred, a thousand times. But you’re saying that no matter how hard I try, it might be useless?”
I nodded silently at that question.
“The belief that effort will eventually be rewarded is just a curse. Effort is necessary for success, but it’s not enough. People can’t endure the pain and hardship unless they believe that their efforts will pay off, so they simply chose to deceive themselves
.
“
Those words were spoken by someone who had literally put in so much excruciating effort that it ruined his legs. I couldn’t dare to point out that his words were wrong.
“Why on earth did you instill that kind of belief in me, hyung?”
I stared at Lee Danbi, trying to erase the words of resentment that kept replaying in my mind.
And then, what appeared before my eyes was not Lee Danbi, but that guy from his trainee days.
‘….Aah.’
This was an illusion.
The person in front of me was not him, but Lee Danbi.
Acknowledging that immediately, I turned my gaze away and asked the question I needed to ask Lee Danbi.
“Do you still want to do it? Are you sure you won’t regret it?”
“…….”
The answer didn’t come right away. Lee Danbi remained silent for a few moments.
And that guy, who had calmed his restless heart in that short moment, gazed at me with unwavering eyes and spoke.
“But that’s just a possibility. It’s not that it
won’t
be of any help, but it’s a
might
. I doubt that a future where I give up out of fear would be happier. I’d rather regret trying it than regret not trying it. That’s what suits my temperament more.”
As soon as I met his eyes, the illusion of
that guy
vanished.
In that moment, I felt as if my vision had suddenly cleared, and I held my breath.
“Hyung, if I weren’t suited to join the debut lineup, you would have noticed it before I did. But you’ve been trying to help me this whole time. Then, even if I simply don’t have the talent to shine on stage, haven’t you discovered something else about me? I’m going to believe in that.”
“…….”
“I’m scared and anxious about the situation I’ll be in if I don’t debut this time. It’s not something I can control with my will. But I don’t think that’s the problem you’re talking about. I refuse to already pity myself just because people will compare me to the other members. So, hyung, you don’t have to worry about that kind of thing.”
I just chuckled at his cheeky answer.
“…Haha.”
‘
Yeah, this is what Lee Danbi was like.’
“Sunbaenim, you may understand Lee Danbi’s talent, but I understand his character. I assure you, he’s the kind of person who will keep moving forward towards his goal, no matter how much he gets hurt.”
‘I said it so well, but I forgot about that.’
I must have momentarily forgotten because of the sudden appearance of that guy that popped up along with old memories.
That guy and Lee Danbi were completely different in terms of personality, so I shouldn’t have confused them.
Even if Lee Danbi didn’t possess the talent that shone on stage, he had an unwavering determination, a treasure that no talent could surpass. That’s precisely why I chose Lee Danbi to complete the debut lineup.
“It’s not like there hasn’t been even one person in the whole world, in history, who hasn’t succeeded despite 100% effort. So, that’s okay.”
I knew talent was important.
But I also knew it wasn’t enough.
‘If talent was truly everything, there should have been someone who collapsed earlier than that guy.’
That guy wasn’t the
least talented member
of Prism to begin with. There was another member who was the least talented. And if you asked whether that member behaved the same way as he did, the answer was “
No
“.
‘Because he tenaciously endured, he has secured his position now.’
I let out another small laugh, picturing that member’s face, then cleared my throat and spoke up.
“Alright. I completely understand how you feel. Then, promise me just one thing, you will never do anything that will make you regret your life. You can resent me as much as you want, but you have to keep that promise. If you do, I’ll help you join the debut lineup.”
“Why would I resent you, hyung? It was me who asked you to do this, so if my life explodes to ruin, it’s my fault. I’m not the kind of person who asks someone to pull the gacha for me and then blames them when I get killed by the explosion.”
1
“…….”
‘Gacha? It will explode and kill you if you got it wrong ? Is it like defusing a landmine?’
I felt like I was being hit with one alien language after another.
Is this the generational gap?
Lee Danbi firmly refuted what I had said earlier, not even realizing that I had only understood half of what he said.
“It’s my choice, my responsibility. Even if I regret it, I’ll handle the consequences and work things out on my own.”
“….Okay, then let’s give it a try. If this is your last chance, let’s make it count.”
“Thank you, hyung. And I apologize in advance. As I mentioned earlier, I’ll need to work several times harder than others to catch up. You might end up fainting from frustration.”
“Fainting from what. Teaching someone multiple times like that, I’ve done it once already, so I’m used to it. If I managed to raise one, why can’t I raise two?”
I waved my hand and brushed away Lee Danbi’s apology.
I had properly raised a brat with zero talent and zero skills before, so there was no way I was going to get frustrated over something as trivial as that. In the first place, Lee Danbi was better than that brat.
“You’ve done it before? With whom?”
“…….”
The innocent question left me at a loss for words.
It would be a total nonsense to tell him that a trainee who hadn’t even made his debut raised someone who had already debuted a long time ago, so I didn’t know how to respond.
‘He’s my senior now, so I can’t say that I raised him. I can’t even say that he sucked when he was still a trainee.’
“…I can’t tell you that. Anyway, there is someone.”
I narrowed my eyes and evaded the question. Then, to divert Lee Danbi’s attention, I raised my index finger and hurriedly started talking again.
“This is something I heard from that person I can’t tell you about.”
“…Yes.”
“He said talent is like a mirage, and the moment you try to rely on it, it disappears without a trace.”
“…….”
“So, instead of obsessing over that abstract thing from the start, he said if you steadily put in the effort and build it up, you can surpass others when they falter. So, give it your best shot.”
“….That person really has an impressive personality. He’s made all the worries I’ve had until now feel meaningless.”
Although it was a playful remark, it seemed to have been quite comforting, as Lee Danbi lowered his flickering eyes and smiled. In response to that, I purposely replied more bluntly than usual.
“I think so too. He’s really a funny guy.”
‘Ugh, my mouth itches.’
It was frustrating not being able to tell him about someone that Lee Danbi clearly already knew.
I muttered that guy’s identity to myself several times.
He did try to stab me, but he’s really good at his job. He’s also super popular.
“I’m Fairy Jaaay!”
The guy who’s currently the center of Prism.
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Translation’s Corner:
The word Danbi used in “if my life explodes to ruin” is
폭망
It is an abbreviation for the word ‘
total destruction’
like total failure, total ruin, etc .
폭
발 +
망
하다 (literally: explosion + ruin/fail). The second sentence basically saying when you asked someone else to pull gacha for you, then the result is ruined (like, you get the character/item that you didnt want instead) you wont blame the other person. ↩︎
Desire got the better off me so I bought fish for meal … and it tasted really bad ….. why did I do this to myself just because a novel character mentions fish …. Danbi you will pay for this …
But tbh ideally, if I were a popular idol who was “talentless” and got bashed daily for it, I would just simply not look at the internet. Popular idols make millions of money anyway … but I guess realistically human heart is not that simple and it definitely will hurt. Danbi, let’s just live with capitalism mindset.