“So, hyung, of all people, at the very least you … please don’t say those words to me.”
I quietly looked down at Lee Danbi’s hand that was holding my arm. His long hand, which at first glance looked adult-like, was revealing his emotional turmoil, as if proving his age.
Has Lee Danbi ever shown such an anxious appearance in front of me?
He was a child who always maintained his composure, even when faced with malicious online comments or surrounded by panicking trainees.
‘He could make an expression like this.’
I felt both a sense of unfamiliarity at Lee Danbi’s desperation, which I was seeing for the first time, and a sense of relief.
This child was unusually strong and resilient. And I knew better than anyone that there were serious issues lurking beneath that hardened exterior. How could I not know? I was the one who raised Seo Yuseong in the absence of our parents.
‘He probably would never show his vulnerable side unless it was someone he trusted.’
The fact that he showed such a side in front of me meant that Lee Danbi had a great deal of trust in me. How could I tell someone like him to
quit
?
I looked down at him and said, “I won’t. You didn’t even hear what I replied to Cha Woon-sunbaenim, so why are you so nervous?”
“…..I’m sorry. I lost my composure.”
“It’s fine. I just followed you because I didn’t want any misunderstandings to arise. But you said you completely understood Cha Woon-sunbaenim’s intentions behind those words, and it seems that way to me too, so there’s no need to dwell on it.”
I calmly replied to the child, who was rubbing his slightly embarrassed red ears as he made excuses. Then, tilting my head to the side, I spoke again.
“So?”
“Yes?”
”You have something else you want to tell me. Don’t you?”
“…….”
When I said that outright, Lee Danbi seemed to hesitate, his lips moving as if he wanted to say something. Then, he finally mustered the courage to ask a question.
“Hyung, do you think I can debut through this program? Realistically speaking.”
‘As expected.’
Now I had come to know all about Lee Danbi’s family background and understood his current mental state. If he simply didn’t want to be misunderstood, he could have ended the story with, “
She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my older sister
“. Yet, I had come to learn the whole story.
What exactly was Lee Danbi hoping for by telling me all of that?
‘He must be anxious, because he knows all too well that the choice he made is not realistic.’
Even though he acted like he wouldn’t be shaken, deep inside, he was still just a 17-year-old. It was impossible for him not to feel overwhelmed by this situation of having to make all the decisions alone without anyone to support him.
Therefore, I had no intention of just leaving Lee Danbi to make whatever choice he wanted without any intervention.
With a light sigh, I answered his question, “Well, I’m not a psychic, so I can’t be sure. There are bound to be many variables in a live broadcast. But one thing’s for sure, you
must
debut in this program.”
Lee Danbi said that this program was his
last chance
.
He was still just a high school student, a child who had more years ahead of him than behind. He had plenty of determination as well. Nonetheless, if this was to be his last chance, it meant that there were other practical problems involved, not just time or psychological issues.
For example, things like parental consent.
“Your parents said this is the last time, didn’t they?”
“…Yes. Last time, my older sister persuaded them, so I was able to sign the contract, but when this contract expires, I’ll need my parents’ consent again. But in the meantime, my youngest sibling was born, so they said they won’t sign it again.”
“…….”
“It’s because I haven’t achieved any results. My parents think I’m delusional, chasing after unrealistic dreams when I have no talent. They’re worried about what will happen if I stay as an idol trainee, don’t debut, and end up without a decent job. I think they also expect me to help take care of my younger siblings at home.”
In truth, achieving 11th place in such a massively popular program was something that would be impossible for most children. How could it be easy to surpass the experienced older trainees who had been training for a long time and reach that position? Lee Danbi had accomplished something that most people his age would never be able to do.
However, despite that, if we were to talk about
results
, it would likely refer to visible outcomes like debuting or financial earnings.
‘They’re full of shit….’
Lee Danbi was not a child who neglected his studies. A 17-year-old shouldn’t have to abandon their dreams, no matter how unrealistic they seem. If a child were to do so, it would be nothing more than parents shifting their responsibilities onto their child.
‘No, I shouldn’t. They’re still Lee Danbi’s parents, so I shouldn’t curse them. But still, they should have some decency, at least then I could tolerate it. Oh my god, this is crazy, my blood pressure is going to skyrocket.’
Lee Danbi, who had no idea that I was internally suppressing remarks that could be heavily criticized by society, continued speaking with a serious expression.
“I cherish my younger siblings. But that doesn’t mean I want to be solely responsible for raising them. My parents were the ones who made the choice to have children, and I believe they should be the ones to take responsibility for that choice.”
‘Are all children like this these days?’
I raised an eyebrow at Lee Danbi’s logically structured words, stifling an exclamation. When I was at his age, I didn’t think I was able to articulate my thoughts that well.
I would have just gotten angry.
Ah, I would have cursed. My mistake.
“Do you think persuasion won’t work?”
“…….”
Lee Danbi simply shook his head at my question.
What a disappointing answer. Being able to secure 11th place in a program filled with such fierce competitors clearly showed that he had star potential. I also confirmed that he had quite a few fans who liked him.
‘Debuting in another group wouldn’t be a bad option for Lee Danbi.’
Setting my personal feelings aside, if we only consider what choice would be best for Lee Danbi, one option could be for him to practice for a few more years and debut with other trainees of a similar age. After all, skills could be improved with practice, and Lee Danbi had already built some recognition, so there would be countless agencies wanting to bring him into their debut team. Unfortunately, though, that didn’t seem to be possible.
‘Minors can only sign contracts with the consent of their legal guardians. If their parents say it’s over, it’s over.’
I had already experienced this problem once.
From Han Seungbeom’s parents.
“All of a sudden, you want to enter the entertainment industry? … You’re really strange these days. Why are you doing something you’ve never done before? Did you suddenly want to pursue the dream you had when you were younger?”
When I first signed a contract with SU Entertainment and said I would appear on the Survive IDOL program, Han Seungbeom’s father showed a rather uncomfortable expression and a negative reaction. I only learned about Han Seungbeom’s childhood dreams that day, but I was pretty much expecting his father’s reaction, so I didn’t show any signs of discomfort and gave a suitable answer.
“Yes, a good opportunity has come, and I want to try fulfilling the dreams I couldn’t fulfill before. I also need a space to breathe now.”
“It’s too sudden. It’ll be difficult, and Mom will be surprised too.”
Han Seungbeom’s father didn’t outright say no, but he simply dragged his feet without showing any signs of agreement.
I stared at Han Seungbeom’s father for a moment and then got right to the point.
“Are you telling me that it’s not possible?”
“…….”
Han Seungbeom’s father avoided my gaze without giving any response. I had already guessed from his defensive attitude towards his wife that he was someone who avoided conflict, but I never expected him to try to completely avoid the issue like this.
He seemed quite taken aback that his usually obedient
son
was suddenly being so assertive. The peace of this family was built on Han Seungbeom’s silence and patience, and if Han Seungbeom no longer wished to maintain that, it would be in danger of collapse.
His indecisiveness made me so angry, I felt like my head was about to explode.
‘He doesn’t want to say no because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to give permission. Just pick one, just one. It’s making me furious, f**k.’
If I had followed my temper, I would have overturned that peace long ago, but I stopped myself because it would be too different from the kind of person
Han Seungbeom
was. So, I calmly took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
“I will become an adult soon anyway, and I’ve already received a response from the agency saying they’re willing to wait for me until then. I’m saying that no matter what happens, I will definitely debut. Father, if I were you, I wouldn’t bother fighting against something that’s inevitable. If we have a good relationship, bad stories won’t leak out.”
“What do you mean bad stories…..”
I interrupted his words, which seemed quite flustered, and said with a smile.
“Father, you send Jaewoon to many academies and let him do whatever he wants, so if you don’t let me do everything like this, I’ll feel really disappointed.”
It meant, ‘
What gives you the right to demand such a thing from me when you raised the sons of your ex-wife and current wife with such obvious favoritism?
‘. It was both a childish complaint that an underage son could easily make, yet also a threat that could completely destroy the peace of this family.
It was a threat as straight as an arrow, warning that if he pressed me any further, I would unleash all the injustices Han Seungbeom had endured up until now and destroy everything, and I hoped he would understand it on his own.
“I don’t want to do anything that might cause trouble for Jaewoon. I also know how much Mother values reputation. How difficult would it be if rumors sp academy or school? So, we need to be as careful as possible.”
Han Seungbeom’s father let out a sigh as if he were about to collapse, then suddenly stared at me with a face as if asking why I was acting like this. However, to someone like me, who had lived a life full of verbal explosions
1
, that kind of appeal didn’t faze me at all.
‘So what if you think I’m strange? The shell is Han Seungbeom. It was my Han Seungbeom’s aunt, who had figured out my identity, who was strange.’
“I believe that Father will understand me. Just as I have understood you until now.”
Would he really shatter the peace just to hold his son back for a few more months before his inevitable debut? Or would he try to persuade Han Jaewoon and his mother? The choice that Han Seungbeom’s father had to make was obvious.
In the end, Han Seungbeom’s father, who couldn’t make me budge, gave his consent to the contract.
Originally, in life, the person with nastier personality is the one who wins.
Han Seungbeom’s father had to maintain the superficial peace, and I was never fond of that family from the start. That negotiation was only possible because of these peculiar circumstances of the Han Seungbeom’s family.
But what about Lee Danbi?
Honestly, it was an unrealistic story.
‘He seems to care about his younger siblings, too…….’
In the end, the best option for Lee Danbi was to debut through this program. And it was by no means an easy path.
As my expression grew darker, Lee Danbi spoke in a slightly intimidated tone.
“I really want to debut with Seungbeom-hyung. I know my situation is what it is, but I feel like it would be so lonely and sad without you. Hyung, when will someone like me, who’s constantly moving from one small agency to another, ever get to stand on stage with you again?”
“…….”
As soon as I heard Lee Danbi’s words, I froze, as if I had been hit on the head.
To be honest, I was a bit hesitant because of the things that happened during the Prism days, Cha Woon’s comments, and the public’s evaluation of Lee Danbi. I was afraid that the future Lee Danbi might end up regretting his decision, just like that guy. I was fine with him resenting me. But regretting his own life would be a whole different matter.
“Honestly, regardless of the contract issue, I really want to debut through this program. It’s my last chance to be next to Seungbeom-hyung … but it’s probably impossible, right? Realistically, my ranking is too low.”
But.
Why does he speak so adorably?
‘Whose child are you to only choose such pretty words? You’re tearing my eldest son’s soul apart.’
“Hyung?”
I sighed as I looked at Lee Danbi, whose eyes were filled with tears.
Then, scratching the back of my head, I blurted out.
“Haaa, let’s think about this together for once.”
I’ll do it if I say I’ll do it, let’s give it a shot. Everyone, come at me.
‘Well, he said he wants to debut with me.’
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Translator’s Corner:
The actual word used is 핵폭탄 주둥이, it means “a mouth like an atomic bomb”. Literally mean has a very sharp tongue, he’s not hesitated to use it to insult or attack others. So that’s why his verbal expression tends to “Explode” like an atomic (nuclear) bomb. ↩︎
I can relate to Danbi too much IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE, WHERE IS MY HAN SEUNGBEOM??????? God, one Seo Yutae for me please …. I won’t ask for anything else …….