“…Hyung, is this alcohol?”
“Haha, what should I do? I drank a little bit earlier. I guess I was too nervous to distinguish the flavors. Yuda, you’re underage, so you can’t drink it.”
Baek Kiryang smiled brightly and responded, as if he didn’t feel anything strange even after hearing Do Yuda’s question.
“No, being underage isn’t the problem. Hyung, are you okay?”
“I’m okay!”
‘What the hell.’
As soon as I registered Baek Kiryang’s radiant smile and confident tone, I tightly shut my eyes and stopped in my tracks. To someone who didn’t know Baek Kiryang, he might seem perfectly fine, but to my eyes, he definitely didn’t look
fine
.
I tightly grabbed Baek Kiryang, who was wiggling his toes excitedly. I sniffed him to see if he smelled of alcohol.
“Stand still. Don’t fidget.”
“I feel good.”
“Uh-huh.”
As I watched Baek Kiryang smiling brightly, the nonsense that Baek Kiheon had solemnly said to me suddenly crossed my mind.
“Kiryang. When he drinks alcohol … he’s cute.”
It was really unhelpful information.
What the hell was I supposed to do with that?
“Hmm.”
Fortunately, despite how out of it he seemed, the amount he had consumed was about as much as a chick’s tears, and there was no smell at all. There was no visible change either, and seeing him look exactly the same as usual, it seemed like he was the type who didn’t turn red even when drunk.
After considering the situation for a while, I decided to put Baek Kiryang through a few tests.
“What is 243 times 7?”
“1701.”
“What’s your family do?”
“…Musicians!”
“What about the Pantheion’s members?”
“I love them!”
‘…Is this worth trying? Why is his mental calculation speed so fast?’
I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that Baek Kiryang’s mind and personality hadn’t gone astray. A rookie group canceling a schedule would completely ruin their reputation, so I wanted to avoid that if possible.
“Let’s go filming quickly. Okay? Let’s go quickly.”
“Stay still.”
Don’t they say that when people are drunk, their true nature shows?
Baek Kiryang wasn’t the type of person with a terrible personality to begin with, so there was no worry about him making a slip of the tongue.
‘No, this might actually be helpful.’
As I watched Baek Kiryang, who seemed to have lost his fear as if he had taken some
Cheongsimhwans
, I started to feel that this might actually be better.
“…Let’s keep this between us and just watch the situation for now.”
After deciding on a course of action and seeing that the members nodded in agreement, I immediately called Lee Danbi’s name.
“Lee Danbi.”
“Yes, hyung.”
Without bothering to listen to my instruction, that child strode out and poured the mint candy from his pocket into his palm. Then, he started shoving them into Baek Kiryang’s mouth, one by one.
“Make sure to chew thoroughly.”
“Yep.”
While Baek Kiryang obediently chewed the candy, I chuckled as I poured the plum wine from the tumbler down the toilet
To the perfect crime of Pantheion. Cheers.
***
Since the concept of the program was “
the war of agents
“, we changed into simple suits like the agents in the movie. As soon as we were ready, we visited the waiting room of the regular cast members.
“Hello, we are Pantheion!”
“Yeah, yes. Welcome.”
As we approached the panelists lounging on the sofa and introduced ourselves, the main host welcomed us with a smiling face.
The moment I raised my gaze, I scanned the panelists next to him and tried to recollect my memory.
‘So, from left to right, drunk driving, cheating, gambling, gambling, sexual harassment, and power trip?’
With the exception of the main host, every single one of them was someone I’d heard about in the news, in a bad way.
I had a rough idea of what to expect, given that celebrities with a good image wouldn’t be a regular part of a program with this kind of concept, but the quality of the cast was really awful. I heard that they changed the cast several times because they caused so many problems, and it really seemed like many of the faces I saw when I appeared with Prism were no longer on board.
‘How do they pick such bad people, clench their teeth, and let them back on the air…….’
As I swallowed my disdain, one of the panelists, the sexual harasser, smiled and feigned friendliness toward me.
“You’re Han Seungbeom, right? I heard you’re really popular these days! Wow, you’re really handsome. You must be making a lot of women cry, huh?”
‘Don’t talk to me, it’s unpleasant.’
“How does it feel to live with a face like this?”
‘I feel like destroying you.’
I didn’t want to associate myself with a trash who harassed women, and I didn’t understand why he kept pestering me like this. As I struggled to hold my eyes down, which kept wanting to roll to the ceiling out of disgust, the sexual harasser spoke to the members in a teasing tone.
“Hey guys, I’m asking you, please don’t cry on the show. It will really make things uncomfortable for everyone. We’re all trying hard to have fun, but if you get hurt that seriously, the atmosphere becomes really weird. You know what I mean? I don’t want to get death threats from your fans.”
“Hahahaha!”
The spoken words, accompanied by an exaggerated gesture of hugging his chest, caused the cast to burst into loud laughter. Apparently, they thought we’d be so offended by what they would be saying that we’d burst into tears and make a scene.
‘F**k.’
The sexual harasser, who had no clue what I was thinking, blatantly rolled his eyes and swept his gaze over the members. Then, he fixed his gaze on Baek Kiryang and Lee Danbi, and snickered.
“Hmm, yeah. I’ve got the feeling.”
As soon as I saw that, I could tell that he had already done some research on who was the most emotionally vulnerable in the group and who was being attacked the most.
“…….”
This bastard had a similar stench to the one I’d smelled on Frick.
.
.
.
Once the filming started, the first segment was “
Agent, Gather the Information
“.
In fact, despite the fancy name, it was just a segment that mainly consisted of ordinary chatting, no different from a typical entertainment program, with the concept of getting useless and trivial information through conversation.
“Agent Nicholas, weren’t you surprised the first time you ate Korean food after always eating British food?”
‘Ugh.’
The question thrown at Lee Hwayoung, who was last in order, was a typical “
Korean pride”
question.
That kind of question would go on and on until phrases like, “
Korean food is the most delicious, healthy, and the best in the world. The food in my country tastes like trash, but I’m so happy eating delicious food here every day
” came out.
But think about it. Would someone who has only eaten dishes made with the finest ingredients by top-class chefs since he was a baby really be surprised and blown away by the level of a completely different type of food?
Just three minutes ago, he had praised Lee Hwayoung’s family, but now he acted as if he had completely forgotten about it. It made me want to let out a sigh.
“Korean food doesn’t suit my taste.”
As expected, Lee Hwayoung, who lightly ignored the face full of expectation, responded in a flat tone. This was followed by a somewhat lukewarm response, and then the same question was asked again.
“Come on, I heard that all British food is tasteless. Isn’t that what everyone says?”
“…….”
After hearing that, Lee Hwayoung stared at me with a look of disbelief, like a child tattling. When I silently accepted his gaze as if I understood, he hesitated for a moment, as if something had broken, then suddenly burst into a refreshing laugh.
“Hahaha!”
“What? Why is he laughing all of a sudden?”
Lee Hwayoung, who had a fierce expression on his face the whole time, suddenly burst out laughing, causing the regular cast members to become puzzled and start whispering among themselves.
“…….”
They didn’t seem to have a clue, but the reason why Lee Hwayoung laughed was actually quite simple.
The conversation that just took place between Lee Hwayoung and me could be described with phrases like “
Is this for real?
” and “
Yeah
” in today’s youth slang. All of that was exchanged with just a look, without a single word. Lee Hwayoung was simply happy because someone understood his feelings without needing him to say anything.
‘Typical of a childish young master.’
Originally, children would jump in joy when someone understood their feelings.
Of course, if he knew I was thinking this, he’d absolutely lose it.
I opened my mouth to to smooth over the situation, leaving Lee Hwayoung who was still giggling while holding onto me.
“Lee Hwayoung can’t eat anything with a strong smell, like
jeotgal
1
. That’s why he doesn’t enjoy Korean food much either. So, Do Yuda usually ends up eating Lee Hwayoung’s portion as well. I think he was probably laughing because that image came to mind.”
It was absolutely nonsense.
But what else could I say? I couldn’t say, ‘
He laughed because you guys are so shitty
‘. Let’s just drop it.
“Hng?”
As I said that and nudged Do Yuda’s side with my elbow, he let out a dazed sound and spouted random words like a vending machine.
“That’s right. I’m a pig.”
“Hahaha!”
“Come on, how much do you eat to call yourself a pig?”
The sudden mention of a pig made all the panelists burst into laughter, and their attention naturally shifted to Do Yuda’s eating habits. Seeing this, Lee Danbi quickly answered their questions and steered the conversation in a different direction.
“Yuda-hyung eats every meal like it’s the last day on Earth. He’s the kind of person who starts stuffing snacks into his mouth before he even fully opens his eyes in the morning.”
The main host then skillfully asked a question to keep the conversation going, “Haha, if Yuda-ssi is the one who eats the most among the members, then who is the one who eats the least?”
“That’s Baek Kiryang-hyung. He has a stomach like a Bambi’s, so when he overeats or gets stressed, he throws up.”
With a calm expression, Baek Kiryang nodded in response to Zen’s answer and seriously added his input.
“Bambi.”
‘Oh my God.’
Something was going wrong. I thought he would gradually sober up as the filming went on, but when he suddenly said
“Bambi
”, it was clear that he still hadn’t come to his senses. But the panelists, who didn’t know any better, thought his answer was just part of the concept and burst into laughter.
“Hahaha! Wow, Kiryang-ssi, you’re also quite an entertainer? Why didn’t we know this until now?”
“Bambi.”
Regardless of their compliment, Baek Kiryang simply nodded with a neutral expression and only replied, ‘
Bambi
‘. The panelists laughed so hard they seemed like they were about to pass out, showering him with enthusiastic reactions.
‘Well, at least he’s earned a proper nickname.’
I had no idea what I should say to the fans who were going to watch this episode. I was sure they would be confused by how different Baek Kiryang was from the image they were used to, but I wasn’t sure how to fix this nonsensical character collapse
2
.
‘….Let’s just say he was out of his mind because he didn’t get enough sleep due to our schedule.’
As I watched Baek Kiryang and Zen, the very culprits of this mess, with peaceful expressions on their faces, completely unaware of the problem, a wave of disillusionment hit me.
“Yes, alright! Thank you for your hard work! Please wait a moment!”
But regardless of how I felt, the PD seemed satisfied with the amount of footage, as he briefly paused the filming and immediately brought in the production team. It seemed like they were resetting the studio to move on to the next segment.
After a quick reorganization that involved removing the whiteboards and tables, and providing each cast member with a heart rate monitor and model gun, the cameras started rolling again.
“Agents!”
At the production team’s cue, the main host called out the segment’s name according to script.
“Keep Your Composure!”
As we shouted the name and clapped along, I noticed that the sexual harasser was staring intently at Lee Danbi and Baek Kiryang again.
‘.…Why is that bastard acting like that?’
I had been feeling that something was off with his eyes for a while. While it was obvious that the other panelists were going to great lengths to create a dramatic scene, that bastard seemed to be genuinely using the concept as an excuse to attack others to relieve his own stress.
The reason I felt a sense of discomfort similar to Frick’s in the waiting room was precisely because of this.
“…….”
I couldn’t care less if that bastard found happiness in breaking down the mentality of celebrities who were more successful than him. But if that malice was directed at my members, it was a different story.
“Who will be the first to come out from Pantheion?”
“How about Danbi-ssi? Starting from the youngest.”
Before we could even answer the main host’s question, the sexual harasser spoke first. He must be attempting to strike at the weakest point early on in order to take control of the flow.
“No.”
I firmly cut off the suggestion and stepped forward toward him.
Then, I bent down to look him in the eye before opening my mouth again.
“I will go first.”
Well, shall we see your skills?
You can support this translation through Buy Me a Coffee!
Jeotgal (젓갈)
, salted (fermented) seafood, is a category of salted preserved dishes made with seafood such as shrimps, oysters, clams, fish, and roe. Depending on the ingredients, jeotgal can range from flabby, solid pieces to clear, broth-like liquid. Liquid jeotgal, called aekjeot (
액젓
) or fish sauce, is popularly used in kimchi seasoning.
They can have a strong, pungent smell. The smell comes from the free amino acids in jeotgal, which also give kimchi its unique savory taste. ↩︎
Character Collapse
here is shorten as
캐붕
, the full version of the word is
캐
릭터
붕
괴. This term is used to refer caseswhere a specific character behaves in a way that is completely different from their original personality or setting, without any description of the process of their special change of heart.
Like if a character suddenly changed their behavior completely after experiencing an event or having a realization or whatever similiar to that, it would make sense, right?
캐붕
is used only when a character acts differently from their usual self without REASON AT ALL. In English you call it “Out of Character” except this OOC is not done in fanmade, but in the official works by the original creator …. that’s why the “character” is “collapsing”. Omg I have so much example for this especially the whole lineup of Boruto series, but I’ll just keep quiet before I make a 10 pages essay. ↩︎
Leader-nim … I love you … I love you … If you ever need a younger-sister-in-law, I volunteer ….