“You’ve probably heard a lot about having a
center disease
right? Watching the program, it seems like you only feel satisfied when you’re in the spotlight as the main character.”
“…….”
“Seungbeom-ssi, you must think that you’re the best, and that the center or main position should always be yours. Don’t you care that there’s a lot of talk about how greedy you seem?”
As I listened to the panelists’ questions, I almost let my disillusionment show on camera.
‘Seriously.’
Our company’s employees and fans were so worried that I thought their levels had improved at least threefold since the time I appeared on this program with Prism. But after hearing those words, it was almost draining my energy to realize that instead of improving, their quality had deteriorated.
‘Did they all cram by binge-watching Cyber Wrecking channels before the filming?’
There was no creativity, no originality.
To someone who might barely react even to something new, why bring up overused stories plastered all over NeoTube? Work harder. You wouldn’t succeed with such a weak mindset.
I barely restrained the urge to shave their heads, smack their backsides, and kick them out, telling them to go and prepare again. Instead, I gave a brief response.
“Yes, I don’t.”
“…….”
There was a moment of silence among the panelists who didn’t understand the meaning of my short answer. Then, the first panelist to regain his composure asked me again.
“…You don’t care?”
“Yes. And it’s also true that I think I should take the center and main dancer positions.”
“Huh.”
The panelists were left speechless and fell silent at my explanation. It seemed they were taken aback, unsure how to respond, as I confidently acknowledged the very remarks they had intended as jabs.
They were probably expecting me to say something like, “
I’m aware that I’m sitting in an undeserved position when I have so many friends who are actually more talented than me. I will always try to be humble and never take things for granted
”, but that wasn’t my persona.
Most of my fans were attracted to me because of my skills and confidence, so why would I pretend to be humble by putting myself down?
“This isn’t child’s play. This is strictly a professional world. It’s only fair that people are given roles that suit their abilities. Even without me being greedy, everything falls into place naturally.”
“…….”
“Because I’m good at what I do.”
The most exceptional one earns the brightest spot.
This wasn’t just true for this industry, it was the rule in every industry.
And I had already thoroughly proven my skills to the public through a survival program. If people still had issues with me consistently taking the center position, it was likely because they just didn’t like me. My time was too valuable to entertain such unreasonable opinions.
I didn’t even want to listen to the people who insisted on bringing it up in front of me.
“…How am I supposed to argue against that?”
“That’s why I said we shouldn’t do this.”
“Is this how kids are these days?”
As the panelists muttered in response to my blank expression, they turned their attention to the heart monitor.
“You’re not sleeping, are you?”
“I feel like I’m punching a rock…….”
I smirked as they stared at the numbers, which hadn’t changed at all since we started, and shook their heads They tried flipping through the paper and script to find something else to attack, but they had no choice but to lift their heads without gaining anything.
There was nothing to attack in the first place.
‘I’ve lived my life by suppressing my temper and building up patience to avoid showing any weaknesses, so there’s no way I’ll let these kinds of assholes find anything to criticize me for.’
Whether it’s my skills or my personal life, I have everything perfectly in place, so what else could they possibly attack? They couldn’t even make the most basic attack by insulting Han Seungbeom’s appearance, so they had no choice but to back off.
“There’s no need to try to understand. We’re different people with different positions, so it’s impossible.”
To put it bluntly, it meant ‘
You guys are so pathetic that you’ll never understand the mindset of someone as great as me, even if you died trying
‘. After I said that to hammer the point home, Do Yuda whispered in a small voice.
“Hyung, we still have a long way to go before it’s our turn to attack. How can you be debating everything already?”
“They said it’s a rule to answer everything. I didn’t say anything special, so what’s the problem?”
“…….”
I didn’t know why he was giving me that kind of glare when I was just trying my best to answer honestly and politely.
.
.
.
After my turn passed, when it was Lee Hwayoung’s turn, the so-called attack they made was unbelievably about how “
his chopstick skills were so bad in the reality show that it was frustrating to watch
“. It was so blatantly obvious they were trying to kill time with a story that could be brushed off as a joke. It was simply ridiculous.
‘If you’re going to do it like this, stop with the nonsense about ‘Agents’ War’ and just go out, hold hands, and do something like Se Se Se. Just quit it all.’
I laughed at the panelists as they argued for nearly five minutes with nothing but chopsticks as topic.
‘.…Are you picking and choosing your opponents?’
Although it really didn’t sit well with me, objectively speaking, the easiest target to find something to criticize would be none other than Lee Hwayoung. Our young master, just like I was in the early days of Prism, always had to say exactly what was on his mind, and he never bothered to care about others’ opinions or try to put on a false front.
However, in front of Lee Hwayoung, who was surrounded by numerous antis and controversies, they chose to instead be cautious and hold back.
And the reason was obvious.
‘They must be afraid of the consequences they’d have to face if they mess with Lee Hwayoung. If they get on the bad side of a major corporation’s owner family, it could lead to disadvantages in advertising or broadcasting activities in the future.’
In the end, the honesty they prided themselves on was nothing more than something flimsy that could be bent whenever it served their own safety. They had been able to maintain this charade only because most of their guests were in a weak position—people who couldn’t openly criticize or challenge them.
“…….”
I could feel their eyes darting around with tension.
‘They’re getting nervous.’
They were fully aware of their role. Even if they were criticized, their job was to scratch at the dirty nature that the public kept hidden, and to boost ratings with provocative words and actions that ordinary celebrities couldn’t pull off. That was the price they paid to make a comeback on TV after committing wrongdoings.
But given that two people’s turns had already passed without any notable contributions, it was only natural that they would start getting impatient.
“Is it true that Agent Nagi Zen’s poor Korean skills are all just an act? I understand you’re trying hard to get attention, but it’s so over the top that it makes viewers uncomfortable.”
But.
With such a weak mindset, could you really deal with the snout bomber of our group?
If you ask me, my answer would be,
“Foolish remark. Bang point. Bang point
1
. Bang point. No jam. No jam. No jam
2
.”
No.
…But I didn’t expect it to be that bad.
Someone, stop Zen.
Who taught him the words “
Bang Point
” and “
No Jam
”?
“…….”
As I turned my head toward the rampaging Zen, I saw Do Yuda next to him, desperately hunched over and sweating coldly, trying to hide himself.
Is it you, Pat’s best friend, Mat? What are we going to do about this, this?
Unlike you, once Pat opens his mouth, he doesn’t stop talking.
As soon as I thought that, as expected, Nagi Zen’s mouth moved again.
“Due to the sin of being boring, have a 30-minute English conversation with Mister Lee. Grow into an agent with global capabilities and an empathetic perspective.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Oh, you’ve been rejected. What a pity. All small-minded being are hated by Mister Lee.”
‘Ah, that guy is offended.’
As soon as I heard it, I could sense that Nagi Zen was in a pretty bad mood right now.
It was said in a tone almost like a joke, so it seemed light at first glance, but it carried the meaning of ‘
How can you criticize foreigners when you can’t even properly speak the English you’ve learned for decades?
‘.
Zen was an idiot, but he wasn’t stupid.
He was very aware of the image the public had of him.
[I think I’ll feel a bit sad if Zen speaks properly now ㅠㅠ hahahaha]
[Malicious intent 0, but attack power MAX]
[Actually, if you think about it, it’s all true, which makes it even funnier.]
[Come here, my adorable pure evil.]
‘What do you mean there’s no malicious intent? It’s obvious he’s making fun of them.’
The Nagi Zen I had seen so far had never made the mistake of choosing a word that was not what he intended. So, it would be correct to assume that everything that came out of his mouth was well intended.
However, thanks to being a foreigner, having a four-dimensional personality, and an unrealistic way of speaking, the public had already come to accept even a “
slightly wrong
” vocabulary choice as an innocent mistake and part of Zen’s character.
And Zen was smart enough to take advantage of that fact.
“I’ll just eat humans and absorb their Korean language skills.”
“Who on earth are you planning on eating?”
“I don’t have any plans. But I don’t think I’ll eat you, sunbaenims.”
“Why?”
“You’re not nutritious.”
“Hahahaha! Isn’t that a bit too harsh? It’s precious fat that I gained by eating hard!”
The panelists burst into laughter, some to the point of tears, at the very casual diss. Zen had meant to say that the panelists had nothing in their heads, so there was nothing for him to absorb, but they seemed to have misunderstood, thinking it was because of the fat on their bodies.
Anyway, ‘
Agent War
‘ was an entertainment program, and the majority of the panelists were comedians. In addition, the concept of the show was that the guest team and the panel team would compete without minding the social hierarchy, so it was very unlikely that they would respond seriously in parts where the audience could burst into laughter.
So, up to this point, everything was fine.
But there was something else that scared me the most at this moment.
“…….”
The one who was next to me, Baek Kiryang.
This guy was being way too calm.
Nagi Zen was verbally beating people?
That was just fake fear. Shouldn’t he beat them a few times for it to be thrilling?
But a guy who would normally be hiding behind me, trembling, staring blankly into space?
This was the
real
terror.
‘Is that guy really okay?’
I vaguely looked at the back of Baek Kiryang, who was being called out next after the conversation between Nagi Zen and the panelists had roughly ended. How could I be at ease when, in normal circumstances, he would have looked back several times, but today, he was walking away confidently, without any hesitation?
“Now, next is … Agent Kiryang, Pianist Baek Kiheon’s younger brother.”
As Baek Kiryang stood in the target spot, the panelists started speaking by mentioning his older brother. It seemed like they were planning to psychologically pressure Baek Kiryang by comparing him to his brother.
“Start!”
Following the main host’s signal, the panelists’ questions immediately began.
“Your older brother has achieved great success as a pianist, but why do you think you haven’t been able to do the same? Is it because you don’t have the natural talent?”
As expected from the mouth of a sexual harasser, the question was unapologetically offensive.
“……”
Baek Kiryang paused for a moment, his eyes rolling in silence as if he was pondering.
Soon after, he smiled shyly and answered the question.
“Because I succeeded as an idol.”
‘Baek Kiryang has a weak and timid personality.’
This was common knowledge for anyone who had seen Baek Kiryang on the broadcast, even just once. Based on this fact, most people probably thought that Baek Kiryang would shed tears or become psychologically shaken in this segment.
“…….”
So, when that Baek Kiryang said something completely out of character, one that overturned all expectations, everyone on the set dropped their jaws in shock.
I grinned broadly as I watched Baek Kiryang, who was maintaining his composure alone amidst the chaos of the studio.
Foolish agents, do you know what Drunken Boxing is?
3
You can support this translation through Buy Me a Coffee!
Translator’s Corner:
Bang point (팡점):
basically means
zero point/score.
This comes from
“Bang” (팡, a sudden, explosive sound
, or like the sound effect when you hit someone’s head you know, if you watch reality show) and the
word “점수” (point/score)
. ↩︎
No Jam (노잼)
, basically “not fun”. It is to say something is boring. ↩︎
Drunken Boxing (취권)
(Chinese: 醉拳; pinyin: zuì quán) also known as Drunken Fist, is a general name for various styles of Chinese martial arts that imitate the movements of a drunk person. Basically it’s
a martial art characterized by attacking, defending, or dodging enemies with strange timing and postures that cannot be predicted or guarded against by anyone in their right mind, while literally staggering around like a drunkard after drinking alcohol
. There’s a popular Jackie Chan film about it, titled “Drunken Master”.
Except in this one, Baek Kiryang is really drunk lol. ↩︎
Okay guys. I have a confession. You probably read a netizen comment mentioning “Dumb & Dumber duo”, right? I think it mentioned twice before when talking about Zen and Do Yuda duo. The original text is 패X and 매X. Since text that censored like this usually for harsh words, I naturally thought it was some kind of pretty rude slang. And it’s hard for me to guess since I don’t know offensive languages except the ones that usually used (I’m a pretty polite person. Even in my mother tongue, I never verbally say any harsh words my whole life. I’m that kind of friend who flinched when I heard something speaking harshwords). Anyway since I had no capability to guess it and since it’s not mentioned it much, I just roughly guessing the context and write “Dumb & Dumber” duo. (I’m going to edit them after I finished this chapter.)
So, when I was doing this chapter, it suddenly dawned on me that there’s no way MC would call chicks with rude terms that I don’t know about, like he calls people lunatics and mentally ill but that’s it. SO I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AGAIN, THEN IT OCCURED TO ME. Censoring is not for harsh words only. But also for when mentioning irl people / irl brand. And this is the case. After baking my brain, I finally remembered what “Real life thing” sounds like that. IT MEANS 패트 and 매트. IT’S THE CARTOON PAT & MAT.
I’M SORRY, I NEVER WATCHED IT , that’s why I was unable to make the connection until now.
Pat & Mat
is a Czechoslovak slapstick stop-motion animated series created by Lubomír Beneš and Vladimír Jiránek. The main characters of the series are two handymen, Pat and Mat, who are inventive and extremely clumsy. The two characters always get into problematic situations, but they never give up until they solve the problem in imaginative ways. Pat and Mat typically find a solution in the end, usually via a surprising or innovative method, after which they shake hands, before making their trademark hand gesture with a bent hand and closed fist. (I copied this from wikipedia).
Pat and Mat’s main pattern is that when they encounter a problem in their daily lives, they try to solve it but end up ruining the area or causing their own destruction. Sometimes they succeed in solving the problem, but in the end, the problem always reoccurs or another problem arises. And this is why people are comparing the Nagi Zen & Do Yuda duo as “Pat & Mat” with Zen as Pat, and Yuda and Mat.
Anyway, I had a pretty cruel dream this morning about a person who had already passed away came back to life, and all I could say is I can #understand why all Prism members acted like that. What is grief anyway, if not love persevering. Tbh that kind of emotions won’t be relateable unless you experienced it yourself. No amount of stories or movies can’t explain it to you. And even for people who experienced it, everyone has different situations so the feelings will never be the same. And you can’t really blame the MC for it too. Honestly this is the reason why I often say “I love you” to my friends to daily, and I always hug my friends when I met them (yes I’m just like Lee Chise). People call my behavior clingy jdkhhjkfdhghf but I’m just doing my best to let them know that I really cherish them. You will never know when someone is not going to exist anymore.