“You should say hello, Jack.”
“…….”
The day Choi Jeokhyeon brought along a blond-haired kid who exuded the same dignified air as him, I thought to myself,
‘This trashy bastard has really caused a major accident this time.’
Back then or now, Choi Jeokhyeon never bothered to give proper explanations, and as I looked at the child silently gazing up at me with a sullen expression, I could only find myself trapped in a labyrinth of my own thoughts.
All I had to do was ask, “
Whose child is this?
”, but my mind was already flooded with flashbacks of Choi Jeokhyeon’s chaotic past, so I couldn’t even think of asking such a simple question.
Caught between two extremes—a highly sensitive question like,
“What the hell were you doing out there?”
, and a comforting statement like,
“Congratulations on having a son”
—I ended up choosing neither and settled for silence.
“…Do you even know how to hold a baby?”
“Why do I have to hold him?”
“…….”
And then I quickly picked up JackJack and separated him from the most harmful human being in my life.
I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or concerned, but JackJack hugged me tightly without a single fuss. Even at such a young age, he seemed to already sense that Choi Jeokhyeon wasn’t a particularly reliable adult. Unlike most children, JackJack seemed unusually quiet, much like Seo Yuseong. Since I had experience raising Seo Yuseong, I felt fairly confident in taking care of a child with this kind of personality.
‘In retrospect, it was a ridiculous assumption.’
Unlike Seo Yuseong, who always quietly snuggled up to me like a doll, Lee Hwayoung was a terrifying little monster who, once attached, would viciously chase after me and grip my hair so tightly, refusing to let go. Seeing similarities between the two, who didn’t have much in common except that they both didn’t talk much … I must not have been in my right mind.
‘What the hell was wrong with me…….’
Anyway, I was quite uneasy about the sinister Choi Jeokhyeon, so I often spent time taking care of JackJack, and during one of those days, I came across a certain sight.
“My little cutie, were you having fun? Did you have a good day? I’m sorry! Mommy can’t take you often because of works.”
One day, when I went to Choi Jeokhyeon’s house, there was a stunning blonde beauty relentlessly bombarding JackJack with high-pitched questions and kisses, even though the child wasn’t responding at all. JackJack, looking slightly resigned, wore an expression as if he were already fed up with it all.
I couldn’t bring myself to ask her, “
Who are you
?”
Their faces were as identical as
bungeoppang
1
, a testament to the wonders of genetics. I was so astonished by this uncanny resemblance, I froze as if I had been turned to stone.
And I instinctively realized,
‘Ah, this person must be my sister-in-law.’
2
I had no doubt that 99% of Lee Hwayoung’s stunning appearance, which could rival Han Seungbeom’s, came from Camilla. She was the closest person to the epitome of beauty among all the women I had ever seen in real life.
Looking at the mother and son’s faces, so strikingly similar as if they were born through cloning, I could understand why JackJack’s features didn’t resemble Choi Jeokhyeon’s that much.
‘What are you understanding? It’s all wrong.’
That ridiculous misunderstanding didn’t simply stem from the fact that I didn’t like to pry into other people’s business, or that I didn’t particularly have much interest in it.
It was also caused by the fact that I called her by her first name instead of s
ister-in-law
because I thought, being a foreigner, she might not be familiar with Korean honorifics. And, crucially, when I told Camilla,
“I’ll look after Jack, so you two can go on a date”,
she didn’t say,
“We’re not exactly in that kind of relationship”
.
‘Why on earth did Camilla just let me be, even though she knew I was misunderstanding things back then?’
I was still wondering about that to this day.
“Jeokhyeon is too perfect, so he’s boring, but you have a pretty innocent side. You’re cute.“
As I subconsciously recalled Camilla’s face smiling brightly at me, I felt a chill run down my spine.
‘…Could it be that I was being toyed with?’
No, no.
She must have been trying to prevent the information from leaking out for JackJack’s safety.
“You’re pretty bold saying that to someone twice your size.”
“Why? Just because you’re super hot on the outside doesn’t mean you can’t be cute on the inside. If you keep acting so cutely awkward like that, I might want to tease you more, so be careful.“
“…….”
“I find teasing innocent men to be the most fun thing in the world.”
…Maybe.
I was someone far from innocent, so that statement was definitely a joke. My combat ability tended to be reduced by about 99% in front of women and children, but anyway, that’s just how it was.
After that, I was often caught by her and tormented with her mischievous jokes and questions until my mind became muddled. As a result, whenever I heard that she was coming, I would instinctively become tense.
“Nicky! Your mom’s here, and you don’t even come out to greet her? My goodness! I can’t believe this. Is this how I raised you?”
And then, the situation snapped back to the present.
As I saw the woman burst through the door, I instinctively made a slightly dazed expression, as if part of my soul had left my body.
‘…Your face hasn’t changed at all since then.’
Pointy high-heeled shoes, a handbag with Dalmatian patterns, a black mermaid dress, jeweled sunglasses, and a white jacket—her outfit was nothing but luxury, from head to toe. Her red lips, shaped as if drawn with a knife, and her perfectly waved blonde hair that glowed with a healthy shine. The over-the-top elements, thrown together all at once like Lee Hwayoung’s, somehow seemed harmonious, and the sight made my eyes sting.
In the end, she came, my sister-in-law.
‘No, no. She’s not my sister-in-law anymore.’
Come to your senses, Seo Yutae.
That person is not Choi Jeokhyeon’s lover.
While I was still struggling to get my head straight, I heard Zen’s voice.
“I’m Japanese.”
How many people here don’t know that? Why are you suddenly bringing it up?
As Zen’s confident English echoed, a silence fell over the waiting room. Camilla took off her sunglasses, revealing her bright blue eyes, and walked straight toward Zen. Frightened by her appearance and cold aura, Do Yuda grabbed Zen’s arm and urgently whispered.
“Fool, apologize! It looks like she’s angry because of you!”
“What should I apologize for?”
“I don’t know, fool! Apologize for anything.”
“Oh, I apologize for being a fool.”
While the two were performing a skit that was too embarrassing to show to anyone, Camilla, who had approached them, quietly looked down at their faces. Just before the terrified puppy was about to let out a silent scream from the pressure, she smiled brightly and opened her mouth.
“Hello. I’m Nicholas Lee’s mother. I’m sorry. I’m not good at Korean.”
Her pronunciation and tone were slightly awkward, but the meaning was clearly conveyed. She didn’t speak Korean, so she had probably memorized them entirely.
At those words, the members’ jaws dropped as it finally hit them that the mysterious rich and stunning beauty who had appeared in the waiting room was the mother of their groupmate. After bowing and greeting her, they stammered. Then, they parted like the Red Sea and spotted Baek Kiryang hiding in a corner. They grabbed him and pulled him forward.
“Go, Level 1 scorer in the CSAT’s English section!”
3
“Kiryang-ah, I believe in you.”
After being dragged out without a chance to resist, Baek Kiryang’s face turned with despair when he realized that his escape route was blocked. He then spoke in a small voice.
“Ha, hi, nice to meet you, what is your name….?”
Ah, the catchphrase of public education.
The members stared at Baek Kiryang in stunned silence as the sentence, one even a kindergartener could say, came out of the mouth of the group’s only university student—his voice trembling from the sudden encounter with a foreigner.
“I only studied English for the exam, so ……. I’m sorry…….”
Just as I simultaneously worried that his red face might explode and wondered if Pantheion’s foreign language skills were really okay as it was, Camilla let out a small laugh and intentionally answered in a textbook-like manner.
“Nice to meet you too. I’m Camilla Lee. You’re Kiryang, are you?”
When the other person suddenly mentioned his name, Baek Kiryang looked visibly startled.
“Wow, it seems like she knows our names.”
‘We’re working with Lee Hwayoung, so of course, she’d know at least our names.’
The members, thrilled by the fact that a celebrity they had only seen on international broadcasts knew their names, completely forgot about their own profession and started fidgeting and stomping their feet among themselves. As I was starting to think I should intervene due to their incredibly innocent reactions, the waiting room door opened again.
Lee Hwayoung, who had left the waiting room earlier, had returned.
As soon as Camilla saw him, she ran over and hugged him tightly.
“Nicky! Did you miss Mommy?”
“…I told you to decline the invitation.”
“No way. It looks like fun!“
Lee Hwayoung let out a small sigh and hugged her mother, patting her back gently as he spoke in his native language with a blunt voice.
“…I think the sun will rise in the east tomorrow.”
“Yuda-ya, the sun normally rises in the east.”
I could hear the members whispering in shock as they watched
that
Lee Hwayoung acting a little more affectionately than usual. However, there was no way Lee Hwayoung wouldn’t hear it, and Do Yuda, who received his fierce gaze, eventually shrank back and hid behind me.
“Nicky, you should be kind to the members. If you keep this up, you’ll end up being a pitiful person with only money and no friends.”
“…….”
Camilla’s concerned remark followed immediately, but Lee Hwayoung, without paying any attention, walked up to me and handed over what he was holding in his hand.
“…What is this?”
What Lee Hwayoung handed me was a fever reducer.
I stared at it blankly for a moment, tilting my head in confusion. That guy frowned and spoke in his usual sensitive tone.
“You’re feverish right now.”
At those words, Lee Danbi, who was nearby, placed his hand on my forehead.
“Oh, it’s true. It’s a bit warm. It’s just a slight fever, so it’s not that serious. I think you’ll get better soon if you take some medicine.”
Ah, that explained why my face was a little flushed.
Lee Danbi’s hand felt a little chilly when he touched my forehead. I guess I had to admit I was running a fever, so I nodded and gulped down the fever reducer and water.
“…This is the first time I’ve seen Nicky act like that towards someone other than Yutae.“
In the meantime, I could hear Camilla muttering to herself, but since the filming was about to start, I didn’t show any reaction and moved to the studio.
***
“How old is Nicholas-ssi in the photo!”
Along with the MC’s comment, a childhood photo of Lee Hwayoung appeared on the huge screen in the studio.
As soon as I saw it, I quickly pressed the bell in front of me.
This was for the ‘
Parents vs Friend
‘ segment, the iconic segment of
Show Me Your Parents
.
The concept of this segment was pretty simple.
A quiz about the celebrity would be asked, and the parents and groupmates would compete to see who could get the most correct answers.
“Yes, Seungbeom-ssi!”
“Correct answer. Four years old.”
When the MC called my name, I immediately grabbed the microphone and said my answer.
The sound of
ding ding ding ding
came through the speakers as the MC stalled for time.
But I didn’t care whether the MC stalled for time or not.
I was already confident that I had the right answer.
Given the cheekbones, the brightness of the blond hair, the hairstyle, the body proportions, and the location, the correct answer was 4 years old.
Ding dong ding dong!
“Yes, Seungbeom-ssi, you are correct!”
At the announcement of the correct answer, Lee Hwayoung made a subtle expression, and from the audience came an ambiguous sound, neither a cheer nor a boo, but a drawn-out “Oh, ohhh…”. Then, Camilla, who was standing across from me, screamed.
“How do you know! I’m Nicky’s mom! I don’t even know!”
‘Of course I know. I took that photo.’
I’m Seo Yutae.
Even though I was over thirty, I always did my best, especially when dealing with the mother of the guy who was more than 12 years younger than me.
4
As I glared while thinking such thoughts, I could hear our members whispering beside me.
“That hyung, no matter how I think about it, doesn’t seem normal today, right?”
“The medicine hasn’t been absorbed yet. Unfortunately.”
You can support this translation through
Buy Me a Coffee
!
Translator’s Corner:
bungeoppang
(붕어빵; lit. carp bread) is a fish-shaped pastry stuffed with sweetened red bean paste, which originated from the Japanese
taiyaki
.
The pastries are made using a press, so they always look the same and are also the same on both sides, that’s why it is used as a figurative expression for
a person whose face resemble each other
. ↩︎
Sister-in-law here is
형수
(Hyeong/hyung-su, basically “Hyung’s wife”).
It is used by men to refer to their older brother’s spouse.
It’s usually used for the wife of a real older brother or older cousin, but it can also be used to people you consider family because how close your relationship are.
Since basically Yutae considered Jeokhyeon his family in some short, and Jeokhyeon is a few years older than Yutae (practically his “hyung”), that’s why he called Camilla, the mother of the child that he thought was Jeokhyeon’s son, as
형수
. ↩︎
Uh, okay maybe I should explain. So, In Korea, there’s this grading system called 9등급제 (9-Grade system). Students are given grade as Grade 1(1등급) to Grade 9 (9등급). With ofc 1 the highest, and 9 the lowest. Grade 1 is for the top 4%. So, it’s the 4% students with the highest scores.
Then, the next 7% are Grade 2, the next 12% Grade 3, the next 17% Grade 4, the next 20% Grade 5, the next 17% Grade 6, the next 12% Grade 7, the next 7% Grade 8, the next 4% Grade 9. This grading system applied both in school and in CSAT (College Scholastic Ability Test, the national-level entrance exam in South Korea).
Anyway, I’m using “Grade” because it’s the literal translation. But in academic setting, when referring to CSAT, it usually be called with “Level”.
CSAT consists of six sections: national language (Korean), Mathematics, English, Korean history, subordinate subjects (social studies, sciences, and vocational education), and second foreign language/Chinese characters and classics. All sections are optional except Korean history, but most test takers take all the other sections except second foreign language/Classical Chinese.
For the grading, they didn’t do the sum average things, but it is done by sections. For example, a student can get Level 1 in Korean, then Level 3 in Mathematics, Level 2 in English. That’s the gist.
(Oh, to be noted, not every sections in CSAT using the top % thing anymore for the calculation. They changed some to “absolute evaluation”. Like, you need to get a certain number of points to get Level 1. So, in recent years, the Level 1 students can only be like, not even reaching 2%. Or, in contrary when the questions are easy, it can be top 7% )
(In short, CSAT has two grading system,
Relative evaluation
: this is the ratio thing. the top 4% of test takers got Level 1
Absolute evaluation
: each Level has certain points to be meet. Like, maybe getting 45 points in this section will get you Level 1, 40 points Level 2, etc)
Getting Level 1 is really important because the three most prestigious and academically competitive universities in Korea (SKY) are well known from almost exclusively taking only the Level 1 students.
Okat that’s too long.
The point is, here Pantheion is pushing Baek Kiryang to speak because he scored into the Level 1 in his CSAT’s English section.
↩︎
The term used here is “
more than 띠동갑
“, basically
띠동갑
“Chinese zodiac gap”. It refers to a specific age difference calculated based on the 12-year cycle of the Chinese zodiac.
Like in Chinese zodiacs are Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Pig. If Year 1 is Rat zodiac, the next Rat zodiac year is Year 13.
So, when two people are 띠동갑, it means they were born in the same animal year of the Chinese zodiac.
And this context “more than ‘Chinese zodiac gap'” means “more than 12 years old gap in age difference”. ↩︎
Been so long since I wrote footnotes that long … sorry if there’s any typo, I’ll check tomorrow so I’m already sleepy