“…You called out Seo Yuseong’s name, just like Seo Yutae.”
As soon as I heard those words, a wave of confusion rushed over me.
I had just woken up from a dream, so what kind of disaster was this?
‘I called Seo Yuseong’s name?’
I had no such memory.
All that remained within me now was the sensation of my hands tightening around Kang Hyukwoo’s throat and the lingering traces of a rage so intense it felt like it would tear me apart.
As long as I existed as
Han Seungbeom
, I had to make a desperate effort to avoid getting entangled with Seo Yuseong. Once I became involved with him, I knew I would never be able to turn back.
‘No, that’s not the issue right now.’
Pushing Seo Yuseong’s face away from my mind, I wiped the sweat on the tip of my chin with the back of my hand and stared at Lee Hwayoung, who stood firmly before me.
“You, you can’t be…….”
His face, usually masked by irritation and suspicion, now revealed bewilderment and confusion.
Like someone in shock after witnessing something unbelievable.
I already had a rough idea of what Lee Hwayoung wanted to hear from me.
Like Jay, he recognized the similarities between Seo Yutae and Han Seungbeom and wanted me to explain them to him.
“…You, are you Seo Yutae?”
Even now, Lee Hwayoung wasn’t simply asking me vague questions. The direct mention of the name ”
Seo Yutae
” seemed to imply that he had already come to a certain conclusion on his own.
‘Even if he felt some similarity between Han Seungbeom and me, he wouldn’t have immediately jumped to the idea that it was possession.’
I’d been a little uneasy when Camilla had mentioned similarities in English pronunciation and facial expressions that I hadn’t noticed on my own, or when Choi Jeokhyeon talked nonsense to Lee Hwayoung, but it wasn’t enough to be certain.
‘Because I called Seo Yuseong’s name?’
Lee Hwayoung said I called Seo Yuseong ‘
like Seo Yutae
‘.
Seo Yuseong was someone who never let people get close to him. Even his own father couldn’t approach him comfortably, and the only ones who could call him intimately were the members of Prism and me. Even those Prism’s members took quite some time before they could address him in a personal level.
‘There’s no way that Lee Hwayoung, who had seen Seo Yuseong from time to time next to me, wouldn’t know that.’
It was hard to just brush off the fact that I called out Seo Yuseong’s name while in the body of Han Seungbeom, someone much younger than him. If it had been the name of another member, I could have chalked it up to ‘
I am personally acquainted with them
‘, but with Seo Yuseong, that was impossible.
‘No, that probably played a part, but it wouldn’t have been enough. He can suspect as he always has, but it’s hard to reach the conclusion that I’m inside Han Seungbeom’s body.’
“…….”
There was something more.
Even Jay, who knew me so well and was so perceptive, didn’t believe me when I first revealed the truth. He went as far as trying to screw me over on the live broadcast stage, just to see the proof with his own eyes.
There must have been an incident that convinced a pragmatic person like Lee Hwayoung that supernatural event, like possession, could actually happen.
“Your body disappeared right before my eyes, without a trace.”
As I thought about it, I suddenly remembered what Choi Jeokhyeon had told me when we met again.
Could it be that Lee Hwayoung, like Choi Jeokhyeon, witnessed a scene where Han Seungbeom’s abilities were used, something I was unaware of?
Then, it made sense that Lee Hwayoung would have such suspicions. And if that was the case, no matter how I denied it, it was likely to be of no use.
What does Lee Hwayoung know?
I had to figure that out first.
I opened my mouth with that in mind, “How on earth do you…….”
“Answer my question first!”
But before I could get the question out, Lee Hwayoung grabbed my shoulder tightly and shouted at me. Startled, I widened my eyes, and only then did his face, twisted in a horrifying expression, come into view. The strong hand clutching my shoulder was shaking.
It was similar to Jay’s.
The difference, perhaps, was that Jay seemed fueled by desperation and anxiety, while Lee Hwayoung was dominated by confusion.
‘…Why?’
I didn’t understand.
Why on earth is Lee Hwayoung so fixated on the traces of me he briefly encountered during childhood?
I stared at his painfully trembling blue eyes, then quickly grabbed his hand and shifted my gaze toward the door. After confirming that it was still quiet outside, I subtly shook my head. It was a signal to lower our voices. Since we were inside the dorm, I was afraid our conversation might be overheard by members in other rooms.
‘The rest of Pantheion must not hear this story.’
But Lee Hwayoung didn’t miss it and pointed it out, pressuring me.
“Are you scared the members might hear? Even though you’re Han Seungbeom?”
I stared at him quietly, then let out a deep breath and deliberately asked in a calm, low voice.
“What do you want to say?”
“…What?”
“Or should I ask, what do you want to hear, Jack?”
Lee Hwayoung, either lost for words in response to my answer or simply shocked, bit his trembling lips.
‘Did you think I would pretend not to know anything again?’
Just as I did with Jay and Choi Jeokhyeon, whenever the people around me came to me with their own convictions, I would never denied my true identity.
When I thought about how many doubts must have crossed their mind, from the moment they looked at a living person and recalled someone who had already passed away, to the moment they actually spoke those words aloud, I couldn’t bring myself to deny it. I also couldn’t imagine that my feeble lie would work on those who had pondered it so deeply.
I thought it was the least I could do for those who cherished me.
“It’s pointless no matter what I say now. You just need confirmation, don’t you?”
I was troubled as I watched Lee Hwayoung, who was clearly confused.
I was starting to have a hard time deciding whether I should treat him as
Jack
or
Lee Hwayoung
.
“Choose whichever you wish.”
In the end, I started speaking in a somewhat gentle voice, like I had with Jack, but in a blunt tone, like I had with Lee Hwayoung.
“…What does that mean?”
“It means that you can either accept the unreality of my existence and allow
Seo Yutae
to re-enter your life, or you can believe in the reality you’ve been living in and define me as
Han Seungbeom
.”
“…….”
“I mean, I will exist as you want me to.”
I would respect Lee Hwayoung’s choices and act in a way that would be easier for him to accept, regardless of my own feelings.
If he accepts my existence now, I will treat Lee Hwayoung as Seo Yutae from now on. But if he denies my existence, I will treat him as Han Seungbeom.
And I would remain silent about the various discomforts and doubts that he would inevitably feel throughout his everyday life.
I didn’t want to confuse Lee Hwayoung, who had just come of age, with my life and death. This child was much younger than me.
After hearing my words, he stood still for a long time, then clenched his fist tightly and moved his lips slightly.
“…Why did you die like that?”
That was the first thing he uttered.
“Because so many painful things happened to you, did the world become so unbearable that you could no longer see the people who cared about you? Is that why you left everything behind?”
“…….”
“Can you really be happy living the life of
Han Seungbeom
? Are you really satisfied with that?”
I could feel his voice becoming more agitated, as if the dam he had been holding up for years had finally burst. I watched him in silence, waiting for him to decide the answer on his own.
“Years have gone by without me even getting to see your face. I haven’t been able to show you how I’ve grown, so how could I possibly be okay?”
“…….”
“…I still need you.“
The answer that he, with his head lowered like a child, gave me was that.
In the end, just like Jay and Choi Jeokhyeon, Lee Hwayoung chose
Seo Yutae
.
‘As expected, it turned out like this.’
I nodded in response, then slowly got up from my seat and walked over to Lee Hwayoung. And then I patted him on the head, like I used to do in the past.
“I thought you’ve grown a lot, but you’re still acting so much like a child. What am I supposed to do with you?“
Before I could finish my sentence, his expression crumpled. As I sighed, seeing the same old expression on his face as when he was a child, he suddenly hugged me tightly.
“…I’m glad you’re alive.”
“Ouch.”
It was quite an emotional moment, but I couldn’t breathe.
After being held for quite a while until my face turned pale, I finally tapped him to let him go, and then asked.
“So, how did you find out?”
Then, Lee Hwayoung frowned and answered without hesitation,“You should at least try to hide it properly…….”
“You don’t have to tell me that.”
When another comment was made about whether or not I was even trying to hide my identity, I cut him off and shook my head. I’d already gotten sick of hearing the same thing from Jay and Choi Jeokhyeon too many times.
“…….”
I could tell from his expression that a thought like “
You behaved like that
” briefly crossed Lee Hwayoung’s mind. I ignored it and urged him to come up with another answer.
“There must be another reason. A reason that makes you believe this nonsense.”
Lee Hwayoung hesitated for a moment, then finally answered.
“…There was a time when you pushed yourself too hard to keep up with your schedule and your condition got worse. Do you remember?”
I did remember that incident. It was the time when I had a bad nosebleed and felt disoriented.
Recalling that memory, I nodded at Lee Hwayoung, to urge him to continue.
“I was worried you might collapse with your head hitting something, so I chased you into the room, but your condition had already worsened…….”
‘My condition had worsened?
As far as I could remember, I was immediately recovered and walking around just fine after sitting down and resting for a bit. I raised my head, questioning what he was talking about. However, Lee Hwayoung, as if he had expected this, continued speaking.
“Yes, and then you suddenly got better. Do you remember why?”
“…I don’t.”
“You may find it hard to believe, but a huge beast suddenly appeared and surrounded you with its body. And then, shortly afterward, your condition drastically improved.”
A sudden chill ran through me. Feeling an unexplained sense of foreboding, I quickly asked.
“…Tell me more about the beast.”
Lee Hwayoung, looking as if he couldn’t understand why I was reacting that way, appeared confused. But unable to resist my insistence, he began speaking while lowering his gaze, as if searching his memory.
“It looked a little transparent, with white fur and amber-colored eyes. It had pointed ears and sharp teeth.”
“…….”
“And … it was very quiet, but it seemed to cherish you.”
“Meoow.”
Upon hearing those words, a kitten’s cry suddenly echoed in my ears.
‘No way, don’t tell me…….’
I had picked up a little cat around that time. A cat with pure white fur and amber eyes, who was nearly dying in front of the East Sea during a cold winter.
The cat I raised until the very end, who was particularly good at understanding human speech and was timid, would always stop in his tracks and stare at me intently whenever I called myself ‘
Dad
‘.
[East Sea]
‘In Han Seungbeom’s phone, there was a record of browsing for that sea.’
A beast with mysterious powers.
My family who resembled that beast.
And a boy who possessed mysterious abilities and was strangely kind to me, to the extent of handing over his own body to me.
Is this all really a coincidence?
“…Han Seungbeom?”
The moment I whispered Han Seungbeom’s name while thinking of that cat, a cheerful sound echoed through the room.
Tiling!
It was the notification sound from
that
laptop, which had been completely dead up until this point.
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Translator’s Corner:
Chapter 200 … 200 Chapters … wow … I’m crazy … why I’m already reached this point … why I did something that usually would take 2 years in 2 months ajkhfdjfdckfjfsh omg jobless impact, I really need to start submitting my application letter for real and taking excel class … but alas …. why it’s so difficult to be a human ……. I should just become a cat and be MC’s child …….
Aaaand, Nicholas finally found out. And most of you already guessed it. If it’s my another projects, it would already ending … but this is just 50% of the story … you guys will have to hear my rant for a long time I fear
Anyway, to note just in case you’re waiting, if I don’t show up tomorrow, that means I’m sleeping asdfghjkl I’m dying with fever. Idk if it’s because I’m exhausted to death after moving my body so much today after living a hermit life, or if my body is suffering because the sudden change in environment, or if I actually get an infection …. the ant bite that I complained before didn’t reduce and it kinda … spread? like, some new small lumps even formed??? kinda like acnes, in my armpit ???? for what reason I also don’t know??? but I’m worried because it’s so so PAINFUL I CAN’T MOVE MY HAND WITHOUT FEELING PAIN, EVEN IF I STAYED STILL IT ALSO HURT ?????? The painful feeling really stung, almost felt like the skin was burning, and the skin is hot to touch too, and google search results kinda scary …
Like I know it’s for educational and to urge people at all, but all the medical sites always telling you there’s a potential for scary illness like cancer or heart problem, etc, etc, isn’t that kinda give people reverse psychology where they ended up not seeking medical help because they’re afraid of the answer ???? Well, I supposed I need to visit the doctor to be safe, but !!!!!!!! the problem about living in village is!!! you can’t do anything quietly. like, at all. i dont like the idea of making others concerned about me ….. it’s really awkward
Anyway … I’ll wait for 3 more days and if it doesn’t get better on its own, I’ll drag myself to the doctor. For now, I’m going to see if 12 hours of sleep can fix everything, so see you later later?
OHH SOMETHING TO ADD. I FORGOT. You know, the part when “Lee Hwayoung chose Seo Yutae” kinda makes me sad sad for Han Seungbeom. It’s always the feeling I have with possesion story … imagine living your whole life unhappy and unloved … but when someone else took over your body, everyone loved them …… and in the cliche where the OG can return, usually the other characters don’t want it ….. sigh …….. life is hard even in fiction