Beep, beep, beep.
The laptop beeped, and shortly afterward, the phone in Lee Hwayoung’s pocket beeped as well.
Lee Hwayoung heard the sound and immediately reached into his pocket to take out his phone.
[Lee Saehwa]
Then, after checking the name on the screen, he clicked his tongue in disgust.
“Tsk, this person only contacts me when he needs me.”
After saying that to himself with a displeased expression, he picked up the phone and spat out a tirade of insults without even bothering to greet the other person.
“You’re absolutely the worst.”
As aggressive words, which seemed unlikely to have any effect on Choi Jeokhyeon, were throw out sharply. I could hear a vaguely familiar voice laughing a little more politely than usual from the phone’s speaker.
I ignored it and hurriedly took out Han Seungbeom’s laptop, which I had left in the drawer. I figured it would be better to check the laptop while Lee Hwayoung was busy dealing with Choi Jeokhyeon.
“…….”
When I opened the laptop, the screen, which had remained off until now, lit up brightly. I could see the icon for the game I had seen before. After clicking on it, the same loading screen popped up, and the user’s name appeared.
★ User name: Han Seungbeom ☆
Luckily, it said “
Han Seungbeom
” just like last time.
Then, when I glanced at the area near the Gift Shop icon on the screen, I had a feeling something was different from before. As I carefully pondered the reason, I found the answer by looking at the number displayed on the gift box-shaped icon for the Gift Shop.
‘The number is not 0.’
I was pretty sure I’d gotten an “
Insufficient COST
” notification when I tried to use the ability last time.
[I Can Hear Your Voice: COST 1]
The gift that seemed closest to the eavesdropping ability had a cost of 1. If the cost had been depleted to the point where I couldn’t even use that ability, the number should have definitely changed to 0, but instead, about 1,000 cost had already accumulated.
‘I’ve never received a notification that I gained a cost.’
As I looked at it, pushing aside the restless feeling in my heart, I quietly murmured Lim Seunghoon’s name to myself.
‘Lim Seunghoon.’
I decided to try out the eavesdropping ability, which I hadn’t been able to use since the
‘insufficient cost
‘ notification appeared, and which I hadn’t attempted to use since realizing I had a limited cost.
Then I felt a familiar sensation and heard Lim Seunghoon’s voice in my head.
“I-I didn’t do anything wrong. I did it because I was ordered to. I-I was ordered to…….”
The surroundings were very quiet. It was so late, so he was probably alone.
“I-I have to solve this. Quickly, by any means possible….”
After only a few seconds of listening, I could tell he wasn’t in his right mind. Judging by the muffled sounds he was making, like he was buried in fabric, he seemed to be shivering under his blankets.
‘…I can use this ability again.’
Just as I was feeling both surprise at the return of the ability I hadn’t been able to use for a while and anxiety about Lim Seunghoon’s condition, his voice faded and I saw the number in the icon decrease by 1.
‘So, the number in the icon means the remaining cost.’
But the issue was, why did the cost increase again?
I couldn’t be certain whether Han Seungbeom had somehow obtained the cost without my knowledge, or whether I had unknowingly carried out the quest by simply inhabiting his body.
If it was the former, it would mean that Han Seungbeom was still alive and able to continue his actions while I was unconscious. But in that case, I doubted the extreme lack of time would have allowed him to collect that much cost.
The quests in this game consisted of very ordinary, everyday tasks, so the latter seemed much more likely. However, those quests were created by Han Seungbeom’s mother solely for him. The game’s system immediately saw through the fact that I wasn’t Han Seungbeom, so I wondered if I could just bypass it like that.
‘Or is there someone else involved?’
I thought about that, but it seemed a bit far-fetched since only Han Seungbeom was listed as the username for this game.
“…….”
I felt an indescribable sense of unease, but I quickly shifted my gaze elsewhere, worried that I might be blocked again.
‘…What is this?’
A diary-like icon that hadn’t been there the last time was now flickering brightly. This must have been the cause of the notification that sounded earlier.
I immediately reached for the mouse pad and clicked on the icon.
★ Diary
Then, after a brief loading screen with the words “
Diary
” written on it, I saw a box that looked identical to the status window I had seen earlier.
My mom passed away as if she just fell asleep.
I thought it was a blessing that she didn't close her eyes in pain.
But I don't know why I can't forget the sight of it.
As soon as I saw the words written at the top, without a date, I realized.
This is Han Seungbeom’s diary.
Having finally found the only trace of Han Seungbeom’s life that he had left behind, I looked down at it in silence. Then, as the bitterness in my heart grew stronger, I exhaled deeply to ease the suffocating sensation.
‘…Han Seungbeom.’
What kind of emotions did Han Seungbeom have on the day he wrote those words?
“…….”
Han Seungbeom’s face was reflected in the dark part of the screen. As I looked at it, I realized that maybe Han Seungbeom from that day had a similar expression to the one I have now.
‘If Han Seungbeom really disappeared….’
The despair and heartache caused by the loss of a precious person.
It must have been a difficult emotion for the young Han Seungbeom to handle.
As I gazed at Han Seungbeom’s reflection on the screen, the screen switched even though I didn’t do anything.
December 20th.
My father brought an unfamiliar woman and a boy a little younger than me.
And he said, '
These are the people Father loves more than you
'.
As soon as I heard those words, I became unbearably scared, so I ran away.
I don't know what I was so scared of.
I just felt like I was abandoned in the world, alone.
I clenched my fists as soon as I saw the first diary entry with a proper date.
The “
an unfamiliar woman and a boy a little younger than me
” written in the diary from that day was surely referring to Han Jaewoon and his mother.
Han Jaewoon’s father remarried Han Jaewoon’s mother around the time Han Seungbeom had just entered middle school. What on earth had they done to a child who hadn’t even reached puberty yet?
December 23rd.
I decided not to resent my father or those people.
I was too lonely to hate anyone, and I didn't have the nature to do so either.
And I was afraid that if my father abandoned me, I would truly be all alone.
As I read the last sentence of the December 23rd diary entry, I remembered what Han Seungbeom’s aunt had told me.
“Did Han Seungbeom’s father not contact you first?”
“Seungbeom relied on his father more than anyone else….”
And then I remembered what Choi Jeokhyeon said to me.
“Because family is family. That strange phrase you always used to say. Maybe Han Seungbeom had those thoughts too.”
It was devastating.
It was hard to believe that such a foolishly affectionate child was born to a man like Han Jaewoon’s father. And every time I recalled the fact that Han Jaewoon’s father didn’t realize until the end that Han Seungbeom had disappeared, and the words they had said on the final competition day, I felt like my insides were boiling.
Even though I, too, had committed the same foolishness as Han Seungbeom.
December 24th.
I got lost.
I had no money left, but I didn't feel like going back.
I just wanted to disappear without leaving a body behind.
Then, on the road, I found a cat that had been hit by a car. It was dying without anyone paying attention to it.
When I came across the mention of
dying cat
, it felt as though my heart dropped again, just like when I heard Lee Hwayoung talk about the
huge beast
.
I started to gradually understand the origin of Han Seungbeom’s endless goodwill towards me.
December 25th.
After using the new gift, I met a man in front of the sea, where I had barely arrived.
He looked cold, just like what I had seen on TV, but his arms were warm.
I missed that warmth so much that I ended up following him, pretending to know nothing.
If he finds out that I’m not a cat, I definitely won’t be able to stay by his side, right?
I might even be called creepy.
It may be selfish, but I made a vow to keep my true identity a secret forever.
January 2nd.
I have a family.
I have found people I want to protect, even if it requires sacrificing my own life.
“…….”
The second of January was the day I decided to accept that cat into my family.
This made it clear that the cat I had raised was Han Seungbeom.
‘Was Han Seungbeom so afraid of being hated by me that he disappeared without leaving any trace?’
Mom, I think I can live well.
So, please don't worry about me anymore.
The last thing he wrote was this.
It felt more like a mark, like when someone wrote their own birthday on the calendar, rather than something you would call a diary.
I looked at it and couldn’t say anything, so I just read the letters over and over again.
“Is this something Han Seungbeom left behind?”
After standing there for a while, Lee Hwayoung, who had finished his call with Choi Jeokhyeon, placed his hand on my shoulder and spoke to me. Seeing his grim expression, it seemed like he had read Han Seungbeom’s diary and had already made a rough guess about the identity of the ‘
beast
‘. He must have remembered about the cat I had raised as well.
“…He blinked his eyes at me for a long time. I heard that’s how cats greet you.”
With a quiet nod from me, Lee Hwayoung softly uttered those words.
It was a clumsy consolation.
“I guess he wanted to get to know you. I used to talk about you to him a lot.”
“…What happened to that cat in the end?”
At Lee Hwayoung’s question, I recalled the stiff, cold body in my arms.
And I purposely answered in a flat tone.
“He died. He suddenly had a seizure one day. He died before I could take him to the hospital.”
The memories were hazy. I couldn’t tell if Han Seungbeom had tampered with my memory, or if I had simply tried to forget them to cope with the pain.
As they said,
misfortunes never come singly
. That child seemed to have passed away around the time when all sorts of hardships hit me at once. It was so unbearable at the time, but now, thinking about the possibility that the child could have been alive afterward, or maybe even still be alive, I finally felt some relief.
“…….”
He was a child who always slept where he could feel my heartbeat.
Every time I slept, he would desperately roll over and cling to uncomfortable places like my neck, wrists, and chest.
He acted as if he was afraid I was going to die in my sleep, as if he didn’t know what else to do, so I had no choice but to let him be. And I was so worried about him that I couldn’t bring myself to put that child up for adoption afterwards.
The memory of the day I decided to accept that child as part of my family was still very clear to me,
“Who is playing with Dad’s hair while Dad is sleeping?”
When I called myself ‘
Dad
‘ for the first time, that child quietly looked up at me.
And I could see an unusual sparkle in his clear eyes, as if the night sky, densely embroidered with stars, were contained within them.
They were shining, holding me in their fullness, as if I were his entire world.
How many times in a lifetime do you get to witness such pure emotion from someone?
“Meow.”
It was a whole, complete love.
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Translator’s Corner:
Seo Seungbeom … congratulations for everyone who guessed it correctly ever since the “Freedom Cat” gift was mentioned XD Actually I didn’t even able to predict this when I first read it because back then I read it as “Free Cat”, and you know it doesn’t sound strange, like … oh you get a cat. But when I translated this, I looked at the words carefully, and realized that what it used is not just “Free”, but “Freedom” …..
My fever had gone when I woke up, but my body … you know the feeling when you haven’t worked out in forever, and you worked out one day and when you wake up the next day, every part of your body ached? Yeah that’s exactly how I felt … I’m dying
Anyway, in case you missed the details about Han Seungbeom’s family details. Remember how Han Seungbeom graduated in the start of this story and took CSAT? and later, it was said that it’s time for Han Jaewoon to prepare for CSAT. CSAT is an exam that students took for university entrance, so students in their final year of high school no longer focus on their daily study but shift their focus to prepare for CSAT. And Han Seungbeom and Han Jaewoon is not “step brother” but “half brother”. Now, do the maths.
And an Anon who commented a few chapters ago about the whole theme of this story is love really hit the mark. It all started with Han Seungbeom’s love.
Oh, in case you didn’t remember too, January 2nd is also Han Seungbeom’s birthday.