“It was Seo Yutae-sunbaenim. He was the one who got his hands on the original.”
“What on earth are you talking about? Seo Yutae-sunbaenim……”
“…….”
Taeui simply lowered his head at my question, as if he had expected me to be taken aback. But his expectation was off the mark. The shock that overcame me was on a completely different level than the kind of surprise most people would feel upon hearing this story.
‘The one who got the original … was me?’
Because of that video, Cha Woon had no choice but did Kang Hyukwoo’s bidding; he used my songs, gave a song to a rookie who imitated me, and took the lead in justifying them. As a result, he was resented by the members of Prism and ultimately broke down. Weren’t all of Cha Woon’s painful times up to this point because of that video?
But to think that I already had it in my hands … I couldn’t help but feel like this was the most absurd thing that could happen.
‘…Why on earth?’
Why on earth, despite having the original in my hands, did I end up falling off that rooftop without using it? That question kept swirling around in my head.
‘Now isn’t the time to be confused. I need to pull myself together.’
I managed to regain my composure and began to busily rack my brain.
There were only two hypotheses I could think of for the doubts I was having.
The first was that I was suddenly murdered by someone else, causing all my plans to go awry. The second hypothesis was that I gave up on using the video myself.
The former seemed more likely.
‘Considering the circumstances, it’s reasonable to assume that I was killed by Kang Hyukwoo and his minions, who were after the original.’
Indeed, given what Lim Seunghoon had told me, they seemed to have committed murder, and it was quite plausible that the reason was that I possessed evidence that could render their weapons useless.
But that would lead to the conclusion that Kang Hyukwoo had killed me, and I doubted he could have hidden it from Choi Jeokhyeon perfectly.
“You said the original is currently missing. Does that mean Kang Hyukwoo still hasn’t gotten his hands on it?”
“Yes, I’m quite sure of it. He’s still going around looking for the original, and he also comes to see my father quite often, so it seems pretty clear he doesn’t have it.”
Another thing that bothered me was that Kang Hyukwoo hadn’t gotten his hands on the original video. If I were him, I would have secured that video at all costs. It seemed a bit strange that he killed me, the only one who knew its whereabouts, without getting it first.
The other hypothesis was that I was reluctant to release the video to the world by my own choice.
Jo Inchan didn’t go to that club of his own will, so he must have resisted. It was truly fortunate, but if the scene of Jo Inchan desperately resisting had been filmed in a provocative way, the value of the video as evidence would have been greatly diminished.
‘Evidence that can’t be shown to the public doesn’t carry much weight in a media war. How the psychological war is handled depends on the skills of the person who holds it.’
Once a celebrity’s overly provocative and raw side was exposed, the public could only look at them with pity or subconscious discomfort. The evidence I secured to help Jo Inchan could actually end his career as a celebrity, so how could I use it with a clear conscience?
‘To threaten me in that way…….’
I frowned, remembering the time when Kang Hyukwoo had me under surveillance using Jo Inchan’s video as leverage.
From a logical perspective, it was clear that Kang Hyukwoo and Prism were in a position of mutual vulnerability, each holding compromising information or weaknesses about the other.
It was extremely unlikely that Kang Hyukwoo would reveal that video to the public unless he was in dire straits himself. After all, Prism was a key source of income for RH Entertainment. The survival of Prism would lead to Kang Hyukwoo’s profits, and the downfall of Prism would lead to Kang Hyukwoo’s downfall. Furthermore, if that video was released, a full-scale investigation would inevitably take place, which could eventually bring Kang Hyukwoo’s illegal business to light.
The only reason the scales seemed to be tipped was because the members of Prism were the ones whose lives were tied to their public image, and we cared too much for each other.
“I will be fine if I go to jail for a couple of years. But you guys can’t bear to see that kind of situation, can you?”
There it went again.
What Kang Hyukwoo had said to me, “Y
ou’re weak because you have too many people to protect
“. We were so afraid that a crisis might come for any of us that we trembled in fear, too busy shielding one another.
“…….”
I clenched my teeth and tried to organize my jumbled thoughts.
One thing was for sure, what happened to Jo Inchan was one of the things that weighed on me the most before I decided to take my own life. Did having the original video push me to make that decision, or did having it put me in a life-threatening situation? Both scenarios were plausible, so I couldn’t easily draw a conclusion.
After reaching that conclusion, I turned back to Taeui and calmly continued the conversation.
“Who did you hear this story from, Taeui-ssi?”
“I heard it from my father.”
“Then at the very least, your father knows what happened at the time. Would it be possible for me to meet him sometime soon?”
“…I’m sorry, but that would be impossible.”
When I silently gazed at Taeui, implying that I wanted an explanation for why I couldn’t meet him, his lowered eyelashes trembled slightly before he stammered out an answer.
“As soon as they realized the original was gone … the gangsters took my father. He was completely missing for a while, and when he returned about a week later, he was in a terrible state. He looked utterly disheveled, his body gaunt as if he hadn’t eaten for days, and his eyes were sunken, void of any light. He could barely even speak … Since then, my father has become terrified of strangers and unable to leave the house. So even if you were to visit him now, Han Seungbeom-nim, you wouldn’t get much of an answer.”
From what Taeui said, I had a rough idea of what his father had gone through. Since the original video was gone, Kang Hyukwoo and his subordinates must have caught anyone related to it and done whatever they could to make them spill any information.
‘Crazy bastards, how low do you plan to go!’
“…I see. I’m sorry for making you talk about something so difficult.”
I apologized to Taeui in a low voice after spitting out a curse word under my breath.
But he shook his head frantically, as if unworthy of such treatment, and began to speak, his hands trembling as he gripped his head.
“He must have told them. He’s not mentally strong enough to withstand that level of violence.”
“…….”
“…Seo Yutae-sunbaenim’s death might not have been a suicide. It was probably because of us, because of my father, that Kang Hyukwoo and his men……”
Perhaps Seo Yutae was murdered by them because his father revealed the identity of the person who took the original to Kang Hyukwoo.
Taeui, who had considered this possibility countless times in his mind, was in a state of panic as he finally spoke it aloud.
“Calm down. It’s not your fault, Taeui-ssi.”
Even if I was murdered because of what Taeui’s father said, I would never have blamed Taeui, not even in death. I calmed him down with a firm and composed tone. And with my eyes tightly closed, I began to search my memories.
‘In any case, I wouldn’t have exchanged much information with Taeui’s father after I got the original. I don’t trust him.’
In the end, I had to
remember
.
In the end, the only way to find out the location of the original and what had happened to it was through me.
‘…Why did I forget such an important memory?’
I had experienced extreme stress many times, even in my original body. However, I’d never experienced any memory issues. So, this problem now must be due to Han Seungbeom erasing my memories, but I couldn’t figure out his reason.
The ability to erase someone’s memories was something that required intentional use of costs. However, I had a strong feeling that Han Seungbeom would never intentionally do anything that would get in my way or cause me harm. Han Seungbeom was such a kind child that he wouldn’t even resent his crazy dysfunctional family, and that child loved me like I was his father. I could believe him without reservation, even if it meant risking everything I had.
In that case, it was likely that Han Seungbeom erased my memories
for my sake
.
‘Is it because he was worried that there would be a problem if I retained the memory of being murdered?’
However, I wasn’t so weak that the memory of my own murder would break me.
Something was definitely twisted somewhere in me, unlike most ordinary people.
That meant I wouldn’t break down no matter what happened to me, as long as it didn’t involve the people I cherished. If my memory had remained intact, I would have quickly achieved my goals based on that information, and there wouldn’t have been a situation for Han Seungbeom to worry about. So, why did Han Seungbeom feel the need to erase my memory?
‘What on earth was Han Seungbeom worried about? What was he trying to hide from me……’
When I got to that point, I felt something strange.
Isn’t this feeling all too familiar?
It felt very similar to when I realized that Choi Jeokhyeon was hiding something from me.
Han Seungbeom and Choi Jeokhyeon. These people, who absolutely cared for me, were hiding something from me. What on earth could it be that they, who knew my personality too well, would go to such extremes to keep hidden?
While I was pondering this and letting my thoughts run free, I suddenly experienced a ringing in my ears and a throbbing headache. It was the same awful sensation I had felt every time there was a change in my memories.
“Ugh!”
“Han Seungbeom-nim!”
As I clutched my head in intense pain and groaned, Taeui hurriedly supported my body and checked my complexion. But before I could even register his concern, memories flooded into my mind, and I couldn’t help but gasp for breath.
‘What the…..’
The memory of writing a ‘
suicide note
‘ that I had recalled when I met Lim Seunghoon resurfaced in my mind. However, the difference between then and now was that I could remember bits and pieces of what I had written on the paper.
I’m sorry, Woon-ah.
You don’t have to feel guilty. I’m okay.
The words I had written in that memory wasn’t something I intended to share with the world.
No matter what happens to you in the future, I will always support all of you.
To others, it might have looked like a suicide note, but technically it was more like a letter.
A letter of only a few pages, written on paper that could be easily destroyed for fear of hacking and investigation, left for Cha Woon, who was leading Prism in my place.
“Haa, ha … Ugh!”
The words written on the front page were obvious.
An apology for not being able to properly lead them to the end, a request to take good care of the Prism’s members, the obvious reassurance that he shouldn’t feel guilty for anything he did towards me—my raw feelings were shamefully listed ramblingly on that letter.
I’m sorry for pushing you away so harshly. Please tell the kids I love them.
And on the back page…….
If something happens to Inchan, watch this.
There was a note written in case Kang Hyukwoo put Prism in danger.
But, to my utter despair, the letter was handed to one of the few people I trusted at the time, the very person who should have never gotten his hands on it.
‘…Lim Seunghoon!’
This was the reason why everything went wrong.
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Translator’s Corner:
Day 12….
NO BUT SERIOUSLY WHERE IS THE SUNSHINE T_T ALL MY CLOTHES ARE COLD TOO BECAUSE THERE’S JUST NO SUNSHINE T_T
This is like .. the 200th time I read “
I’m sorry, Woon-ah.
You don’t have to feel guilty. I’m okay.
” but I’m still tearing up … MC, you might be okay, but I’m not … I’M NOT OKAY T_T PLEASE RESPECT MY MENTAL HEALTH, SEO YUTAE-NIM????
Hmm I often saw people questioning why Prism just don’t go against Kang Hyukwoo. The thing is, guys, Jo Inchan’s video literally showed him on drugs. Drugs are pretty pretty sensitive issue in Korea. You might wonder what’s the harm when someone is just taking it on their own, right? But in South Korea, it’s very illegal and celebrities getting caught in drugs scandal are really hated by the public.
Like, you remember the past chapter where Pantheion visited Agent War and the panels are all problematic person? In K-Entertainment, even if you got caught cheating, abusing your wife, bullying someone, got DUI, or even sexually harassing someone, you can still make a comeback. But with drugs, it’s really really hard. Even just a scandal, without any confirmation yet, would usually make an idol left their group.
This was what happened to Hanbin (ex iKON member). Dispatch literally ruined him by making news that he took drugs etc because he asked how to purchase it on KKT text. He admitted that he looked up for it, but never ended up buying because he’s too scared. His agency tested him negative. The police cleared him and deemed him not using any too. But he’s still left the group, because the public opinion was that #bad. His face literally got censored everywhere after that, for something that he’s already proven not guilty. I remembered his case clearly because the scandal happened right before the LOTJ episode where he and Yeri (Red Velvet) appeared together scheduled. And then, they literally made him never existed in the broadcast … I was so excited to see my baby’s brother-sister chemistry with him …. Dispatch, I hope your building burn
So, can you imagine getting that much treatment just because you try to look for illegal drugs, but never actually purchased it? Inchan was recorded in video, so if the edited video was made public, it would literally be over for him. Forever. And Inchan is mentally fragile too, so you can figure how Yutae and Cha Woon must have felt.