As I sat in the waiting room of a music show, getting my makeup done, I recalled what I had heard from our manager.
“It seems like the show intentionally edited it to be a bit more provocative, but Kiryang-ssi still looked quite scared of Frick-ssi. Do you think it’ll be alright?”
‘Frick…….’
I hadn’t heard that name in a long time.
No matter how much I searched my memories, only a blurry face came to mind. It wasn’t that I had any issues with my memories. I had simply forgotten because his face wasn’t memorable.
‘…I’m not good at memorizing people’s faces.’
If someone wanted to make a lasting impression in my mind based on their looks alone, shouldn’t they at least have a shockingly beautiful face like Han Seungbeom, Nam Yihwon, or Lee Hwayoung?
“Hyung, everyone else is going crazy about how good-looking I am, but why do you keep looking at my face like I’m some stray mutt? Didn’t you choose me because of my face? I’ve never been ignored for my visual anywhere I go?”
“Stop talking nonsense and just go eat.”
“Ahahahaha! Give it up, Jay-ya. Yutae-hyung will never see you as anything but a snot-nosed kid. He’s probably the only person who’d look at someone landing CF deals left and right for his looks and still call him just ‘decent-looking’.”
…Yeah. I should be generous and include Jay too.
Otherwise, he would whine until I told him he was handsome.
Come to think of it, the reason Frick’s visual felt so blurry, despite even having a legendary fancam, might have been because Jay was always next to him. It was like the difference between a pixelated image and an 8K video.
‘…But he also didn’t have a good personality, and his skills weren’t up to my standards.’
Anyway, Frick didn’t have any particularly outstanding traits that would make him memorable, so the more I tried to recall him, the more confused I became. As I sat there with a frown and my arms crossed, Do Yuda peeked his head out and spoke to me.
“Is it because of that sunbaenim?”
“…Yeah.”
“He has slanted eyes and a round face. He’s on the shorter side. After leaving Overture, he moved to a smaller agency and debuted as a solo artist. You really don’t know anything about him, do you?”
“I know that much.”
I half-opened my eyes and replied bluntly to Do Yuda, who was whispering as if he were doing me a great favor. He seemed to think I was some kind of immortal sage who had transcended the mundane world … I did remember that he was a trainer on Survive IDOL, but I had never bothered to look up his face, which group he belonged to, or what he was doing now.
“It’s written all over your face, hyung.
I don’t know at all
. Do you know how many times I’ve seen you make that exact expression? Seriously, there should be a limit to how uninterested you are in other people. It’s because you’re always like this that I end up looking everything up and filling you in.”
“…….”
“I heard he had some major clashes with the members before leaving the group. He said he was sick of the power struggles and the constant need to watch out for others’ feelings based on their name value and popularity among idols today, and that living like a doll didn’t suit him. I saw fans bashing him like crazy over what he said in a livestream.”
‘F*ck……’
It was a subtle way of hinting that someone had treated him unfairly based on his name value or popularity. After getting thoroughly beaten down by Jay and then abandoned, he seemed to be rationalizing his situation with,
“It’s not that I wasn’t good enough, this path just wasn’t right for me”
.
As Do Yuda explained, I silently cursed in my head, while Lee Danbi, who had also been listening in, briefly chimed in with a, “…That’s impressive”. Judging by his completely deadpan expression and monotone voice, he clearly meant it was
impressively
stupid.
‘Come to think of it, I was told that he was practically kicked out of the group.’
I’d heard that Jay, who was understandably furious given my poor state and the highly misleading situation, had done something—but I wasn’t particularly interested, so I didn’t really listen to the details.
‘…How does Do Yuda even know all this? Does he do nothing but scroll through his phone all day?’
“You’re addicted to your phone. Cut it out.”
“In today’s world, I’m the normal one. Hyung, you’re the weird one for keeping your phone on Do Not Disturb all the time and just staring at messages you never reply to.”
“…….”
I couldn’t bring myself to block the members of Prism, and my phone would catch on fire if it kept buzzing non-stop, so I left it on
Do Not Disturb
the whole time. He must have noticed that in the meantime. It felt like I was accurately hit in the part I didn’t want touched. As I lowered my eyelids and pursed my lips, he grinned triumphantly—completely clueless.
“I’m right, aren’t I? And honestly, I had a reason. Frick-sunbaenim is…….”
He deliberately trailed off at the end.
And judging by the glance he threw at Baek Kiryang, he was clearly worried about that guy—who had even less guts than a herbivore. After all, even if Baek Kiryang had overcome his fear and frustration through the competition stage he did with me, he was still bearing the scars of Frick’s indiscriminate criticisms.
That’s the way it goes with scars created by others.
Even though you knew it was a thing of the past, there was a nasty feeling that made you unconsciously shrink back whenever you stood in front of the perpetrator.
“…….”
Following Do Yuda’s gesture, I shifted my gaze and saw Baek Kiryang, who had been wearing a heavy expression ever since he saw the waiting room with Frick’s name on it. As I quietly observed him, Do Yuda clung to my back like a guardian angel and started chattering nonstop.
“How about we go to Kiryang-hyung together and say something to him? Be honest, you’re worried about him too, right? Aaa, I’m so worried. It breaks my heart to see our member looking so down!”
While I was trying my best to ignore his twitching cheeks, which resembled
chapssal-tteok
1
covered in flour, our manager approached me and spoke.
“Seungbeom-ssi, Frick-ssi came to greet you.”
“…Ha.”
As soon as I heard those words, I jumped up from my seat. Then, I strode over, grabbed Baek Kiryang by the collar, and shoved him into the changing booth.
“Wait, wait! Ah! Seungbeom…….”
“Be quiet and stay still. Better yet, cover your ears too.”
Then his face, which had been pale since he’d heard about Frick’s visit, finally turned blue, but I just smiled and pretended not to see it.
.
.
.
“Honestly, I really thought that guy would never debut. He should really be grateful to Seungbeom.”
Frankly, when I first heard that Frick came to our waiting room, I thought it was strange. It was usually the other way around, with juniors visiting their seniors’ waiting room.
“It was all thanks to Seungbeom that he debuted, right?”
‘Are you trying to pick a fight with me now?’
However, after watching Frick chat away in the waiting room for a while, all the while sneaking glances at me, I immediately understood what he was up to.
‘…Ah, I was trying to behave kindly in front of the chicks.’
Frick had come all this way simply to curry favor with me, and he did so by badmouthing Baek Kiryang, whom he clearly saw as beneath him.
He was probably acting this way because he was scared I might release that assault video. The way he seemed so familiar with the act of
groveling
was almost laughable, especially considering he’d claimed he couldn’t be an idol because he didn’t want to constantly be cautious of others’ feelings.
‘No wonder he was able to make a solo debut again. There are plenty of people who secretly eat this kind of flattery up.’
I sneered at his words and actions, which showed how little he knew about me, and then offered a polite, but perfunctory, reply.
“Is that so? Thank you for coming all the way to our waiting room, but we have to go on stage shortly.”
It meant, “
get lost
“.
Since I was facing away from the staff, I made no effort to hide my displeasure. Frick, after another quick glance at me, practically bolted out of the waiting room, looking like a whipped dog.
“Oops, I’ve been interrupting for too long! Good luck with your performance!”
Just as I was about to follow Frick out with a deathly glare, a large hand, rough with calluses, covered my mouth and yanked my body backwards before I had time to resist.
“…Hmff!”
“Catch him, hyung!”
‘Which bastard is bothering me this time……’
I’m already annoyed, so what kind of bastard is bothering me now?
I turned my head with irritation, only to see Woo Kangwon staring at me with a desperate, almost puppy-like expression.
‘What the, it’s Woo Kangwon.’
At that, I stopped myself from roughly shoving him away, returned the corners of my eyes, which had risen like a demon’s, to their original position, and quietly stared at him. Then, Woo Kangwon, huddled like a bear, squeezed his eyes shut and immediately blurted out his appeal.
“Don’t, Seungbeom-ah. Don’t! Let’s just overlook it this once. Let’s just let it go!”
And even the ever-composed Lee Danbi, with a serious face, whispered in my ear along with Woo Kangwon, speaking in a low voice as fast as a rapid-fire cannon.
“Hyung, not confronting him is the same as winning. We don’t avoid poop because we’re scared of it, but because it’s dirty.”
“Seungbeom-ah, of course I know you’re good at handling things without causing future trouble! But you keep pushing yourself too hard and coming back hurt … I can’t let you go. Just stay put here!”
‘…What?’
I was left dumbfounded by the way the two acted as if they were dealing with a wild beast. As I stood there in silence, Do Yuda soon clung to my leg as well.
“Ooh, this looks fun! I want to join too!”
“Sending a twig to a petty stray dog is forbidden. What if you get hurt again like last time? If you absolutely want to go, step on this Nagi Zen.”
In the end, Zen lay flat in a standing-at-attention posture in front of the door without moving. Lee Hwayoung then proceeded to step over him and closed the waiting room door.
“Oh, good teamwork, Mister Lee.”
“Be quiet.”
The logical part of me wondered if there was any point in lying down there if people could just step over him like that. But I decided not to point it out, as adding yet another reason to call Zen a fool could harm Pantheion’s image as idols.
“…….”
I, whose anger had cooled down due to the sheer absurdity and futility of my members’ foolish antics, blurted out without thinking.
“Fine. I won’t do anything, so let go of me. Why can’t you trust me so much?”
“Obviously, it’s because of your track record, hyung. What are you even saying?”
While I was greatly shaken by the blunt words of the youngest who replied as if asking what nonsense I was saying, Lee Hwayoung, who had returned after closing the door, firmly pressed my shoulder, forcing me to sit on the sofa.
Then, he whispered quietly, “Don’t do anything useless and just stay put, before I contact that person.”
‘Ah.’
I, I must have raised him wrong.
This was a violation of filial duty.
As I was reeling from Lee Hwayoung’s confrontational tone, feeling like a parent witnessing their child’s first puberty, Baek Kiryang, who had been hiding in the changing booth the whole time, spoke up in a small voice.
“I’m sorry for making you worry, Seungbeom-ah. It’s all because of me…..”
The members, who had been making a lot of noise, became quiet all at once after hearing his words.
Then they all started to look at me with teary expressions.
I sighed deeply, and then stared calmly into Baek Kiryang’s eyes, which seemed to waver with water, and spoke.
“Why should I worry?”
“…….”
“I don’t have any reason to. Am I right?”
Then, Baek Kiryang, who had been keeping his head bowed deeply the whole time, slowly raised his head and looked at me. After staring at me blankly for a moment, he saw my annoyed expression and let out a small, resigned laugh that caused the tips of his eyebrows to droop.
And then, he answered.
“…Yeah. You’re right.”
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Translator’s Corner:
Chapssal-tteok
(찹쌀떡) is a
tteok
, or Korean rice cake, made of glutinous rice. ↩︎
Day 17 … I missed the 16 somehow ??? You know all google results said, serious ilness sign is lack of appetite. That’s why I’m really relieved since my appetite is just fine. I’m hungry. So, today question is … it’s midnight and I’m hungry … should I cook instant noodle right now or should I be patient and wait until morning……
You know, I used to wonder how he couldn’t remember Camilla until he found out Nicholas = Jack, but this guy didn’t even remember Frick that he met like half a year ago … let alone Camilla from years ago ….. LIKE SIR ??? WDYM HE’S NOT MEMORABLE, HE’S CAUSING YOU FAINT ????