‘…Why would that stalker be here?’
I’d been having auditory and visual hallucinations so frequently that I couldn’t tell what was true anymore. But when I pressed on my temple and tightly shut my eyes before opening them again, I saw the empty alley once more.
‘It’s just my imagination.’
Just as I was shaking my head, trying to clear my mind, Cha Woon spoke to me with slurred pronunciation.
“Do you like rain?”
It was a lighthearted question, meant to get me talking.
He probably wasn’t expecting a serious answer at all. In that case, I could have just answered with the same lightheartedness, but for some reason, the answer didn’t come out of my mouth right away.
‘Did I like rain?’
It was a question that one would think I should have thought about if I had lived this long, but when I actually tried to answer it, my mind went blank. Confused by the sudden emptiness, I blurted something out without thinking.
“…No. I hate it.”
‘Because accidents keep happening when it rains.’
And as if explaining the reason to myself, that thought suddenly crossed my mind.
Surprised by the unexpectedly firm answer, Cha Woon stared blankly into the air with a bright red face before replying.
“Me too … I hate it when it rains because accidents keep happening.”
It was exactly what I’d been thinking.
While I was still slightly surprised by that, Lee Chise came bustling over, holding several wine glasses in one hand, and handed one to Cha Woon and me.
“Okay, Seungbeom is an adult now, right? Have a drink. Don’t leave this hyung out too.”
“Why are you getting so fired up again?”
Completely disregarding Cha Woon’s disgusted expression, Lee Chise clinked his glass against ours with a clear sound before drinking its contents in one go. Cha Woon sighed at the sight of him but took a half-hearted sip to humor him, just enough to wet his lips.
‘Do most juniors usually drink, even if they don’t want to, in this kind of situation?’
I looked down at the unfamiliar liquid in my hand, hesitating on what to do, then tried to quietly take a sip. However, just as I tilted the glass, a hand suddenly appeared from above and snatched it away. My empty hand was immediately replaced with another glass, this one filled with a different drink.
“I’ve had drinks with Seungbeom before, and he can’t handle even one glass. He got completely wasted. Just tell him to eat a lot of good food before he leaves.”
When I turned to see where the hand had come from, I saw Jay casually making up some plausible excuse. Lee Chise, not realizing that the words were a lie, looked a bit apologetic as he spoke to me.
“Really? You should have told me that earlier.”
“How is he supposed to tell his senior that?”
“Oh, I see. Sorry. Seungbeom can just have a soda then.”
Bzzzz!
While we were drinking and chatting for some time, the sound of a phone buzzing was heard. Not long after the sound was heard, Lee Chise take out his phone from his pocket, so it seemed it was his.
After checking his phone, Lee Chise’s expression turned a bit somber, and he quietly got up from his chair. He then said to the members, “I’m going out for a moment”, and grabbed his coat.
“Where are you going all of a sudden?”
At that, Jay stretched his neck and asked Lee Chise. Lee Chise shook his head as if it was nothing and gestured for the members to stay seated.
“Just, I’m going to the convenience store down the street. I’ll buy some more snacks and drinks.”
As soon as the words “
I’ll buy some more
” were spoken, Cha Woon, who had been drunkenly lying on the table, slowly raised his upper body. Then, still half-conscious, he slowly blinked his eyes, took his wallet out of his inner pocket, and handed his card to Lee Chise.
“…Pay with this.”
“It’s fine, hyung. I earn enough to cover it.”
“No.”
Cha Woon was so drunk he didn’t even know what he was offering to buy, yet he stubbornly shoved his card forward. As Lee Chise sighed, looking at a loss, Jay quickly snatched the card. Then, he took out a cigarette pack from his pocket, checked how many were left inside, and slowly got up from his seat.
“Let’s go together. I could use some fresh air, and besides … I need to buy cigarettes anyway.”
“Just go ahead and buy the cigarettes …… you’re going to die for real, Yoo Jay.”
“What? Then instead of that, buy me the newly released wallet.”
“…Okay.”
“Yass!”
I couldn’t tell if they were getting along or not, but I could tell they were both really drunk. As if he didn’t even see me, who was having an internal debate about how to get them to stop drinking, Jay grinned and slowly put on his coat.
“Still, I should go with him. With five mouths to feed, it wouldn’t be easy for him to go alone and bring everything back. For the first time in a while, I’ll play the role of the youngest, that’s me.”
“No, just stay here. I’ll go to the convenience store by myself.”
At that, Lee Chise pushed Jay’s shoulder down, making him sit, and repeatedly refused.
“…What’s gotten into you? You’re usually the one who’d try to drag me along, even if you had to trick me into it.”
“…….”
“Hyung, you’re acting weird? Who are you going to meet after leaving us behind?”
Jay, looking confused by his unusual behavior, tilted his head and asked. And as soon as he heard Jay’s words, Nam Yihwon, who had been drinking with a relaxed expression just moments before, frowned and spoke.
“Is it Jo Inchan?”
The members, who had been laughing and chatting noisily, went completely silent at those words, just as they had when I was mentioned earlier. Their relaxed smiles froze on their faces, unable to adjust to the sudden shift in mood.
“…….”
Cha Woon, in particular, seemed to sober up the moment Jo Inchan’s name was mentioned, his previously unfocused gaze dropped. Before that silence lasted even three minutes, Nam Yihwon’s dry voice cut through the quiet.
“Why? He can’t show his face to the members, but if he doesn’t do anything, he’ll feel guilty to you, so he contacted you for a quick meet-up, hyung? In this weather, a guy with bad knees is hanging around outside? What kind of pathetic situation is that?”
“…….”
“Tell him to come upstairs. It’s not that difficult.”
“…There might be circumstances you don’t know about. What’s easy for you might be difficult for Jo Inchan, so don’t pressure him recklessly. He’s already having a hard enough time as it is.”
Cha Woon, sighing as he roughly rubbed his face, spoke in a tired tone. He probably said that because he thought Nam Yihwon didn’t know about Jo Inchan’s situation. But Nam Yihwon, already aware of the truth, simply let out a dry laugh.
And without mentioning that fact, he resumed speaking in a sharp tone.
“So, whatever the circumstances are, I’ll listen. I’m ready to listen, so just come on over. Since when did things become so difficult between us? Does it make any sense that he can show his face to Kang Hyukwoo and Lim Seunghoon, but not to us?”
“…….”
“How much longer does that bastard intend to keep hiding like this? Ah, right. The death anniversary is coming up soon, so we’ll probably see him then. And if we happen to run into each other at our hyung’s place, he will probably run away again as if he’s a heinous criminal. F**k, I wonder how many more years I’ll have to see him in that pathetic state before it satisfies him.”
“…Hyung, I think it’s better if you stop drinking now.”
As his tone grew more emotional and he began to stagger, Jay’s expression turned worried. Nam Yihwon, perhaps misunderstanding that the members were dismissing his words as just drunken ramblings, reacted sharply.
“I would have said the same thing even if I wasn’t drunk!”
Jay’s eyes widened in shock as Nam Yihwon, who had never once raised his voice at his younger brothers before, showed such a reaction. Seeing Jay’s startled expression, Nam Yihwon hesitated for a moment, then roughly tousled his hair and jumped up from his seat. He staggered over to Lee Chise, looked him straight in the eye, and spoke.
“Forget it. Even if we argue here about who’s right, it won’t mean a damn thing. Fine, if you can’t do it, hyung, then I will. I’ll go and drag him here. He’s probably hiding somewhere around here.”
And, as if to prove he meant what he said, he turned and headed straight for the door.
Ah, damn it.
Where are you going when you can’t even walk properly?
He would be lucky if he didn’t have an accident on the way down the stairs.
“…Wait!”
The other members had already drunk too much. So, if anyone was going to stop him, it had to be me. With that thought, I hurriedly grabbed his arm, but his eyes only met mine for a split second before he abruptly turned away.
“Let go of me!”
Before I could even react, I was forcefully pushed back and my body slammed into the furniture behind me.
Bang!
“Seungbeom-ah!”
“Seungbeom-ssi!”
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
The sound was surprisingly loud, making the others overreact with concern. If I were in my original body, I wouldn’t have even flinched, but this was pretty ridiculous. With a self-deprecating sigh, I swallowed my groans and, after rejecting Jay’s hand that was trying to help me up, I stood myself up.
“…….”
My back throbbed.
But I was more worried about Nam Yihwon’s face, twisted into a mess of regret and embarrassment. He was never one to easily say sorry, yet his emotions always leaked through his expression. I, of all people, couldn’t possibly miss that.
“I’m okay.”
It seemed like he had lost control of his strength a little because of the alcohol. He probably didn’t even realize there was furniture to bump into behind me.
Seeing that he looked more surprised than I was, I spoke softly to calm him down.
“I’m okay. I just bumped into it, that’s all.”
“I’m okay, Hwon-ah.”
But contrary to my intention, Nam Yihwon fell into an even deeper panic, clutching his ears as if to shut out the noise and letting out something close to a scream.
“H, f**k……”
And then he stormed out of the room.
Startled by Nam Yihwon’s sudden actions, I hastily chased after him
“Wait, Seungbeom-ah!”
I followed him out, past the stairs and the entrance, into the raging rain. I could hear the others calling me from behind, but I didn’t turn back. The heavy rain blurred my vision, and I felt like if I slowed down even a little, I would lose sight of Nam Yihwon.
“Sunbaenim!”
As I kept calling out to him while running, he gradually came to a stop.
Then, with his head hung low, he suddenly let out a laugh before speaking.
“…Hey, you’re seriously something else. When did I ever ask you to do all this for me? Why are you taking it so far?”
The face that looked back at me was drenched in rainwater and tears. His bloodshot eyes stared at me, filled with resentment.
“Just keep up that shell so I can breathe a little. That’s all I ask of you … Just do that much, and I’ll give you everything. If you’re fake, then act like a fake. Don’t do things you weren’t even asked to do. Who told you to be an idiot like that hyung and keep enduring everything? Who told you to dig in like you were real and shatter everything to pieces like this! You can never be the real Seo Yutae, and the more you act like that, the emptier I become!”
“…….”
“Hyung, are you punishing me because I ruined your family? What do I have to do to make you feel better? I can’t throw him away, but I can’t hold on to him either, so what am I supposed to do?”
Whenever I took a step closer, Nam Yihwon took a step back.
Seeing that made my heart ache as if it were being torn apart.
I moved my lips in a small voice.
“…Keep me by your side when you need me, and push me away when you don’t. Whichever way is most comfortable for you, sunbaenim. I’m okay.”
“Stop saying that too. I don’t want to hear it!”
The words made me stop walking instinctively, and just then, the dimly lit alley, where even the streetlights were not working properly, was suddenly flooded with bright light.
‘…Huh?’
It was the headlights of a car.
The moment I realized that, it felt as if time was slowing down, just like it had once before.
And while my body remained still, I could see the car rushing toward me at a speed far beyond the limit.
The driver of the car was,
‘Kim Youngki.’
“All, all is because of you. The Director said it’s because of you.”
It was Dalli.
His target is me.
The moment I realized that, I hurriedly shifted my gaze.
Nam Yihwon was still looking at me, unaware of what was happening.
“Hwon-ah!”
A shrill, piercing scream escaped my mouth. I stretched out my heavy arms, as if defying gravity, and pushed Nam Yihwon’s body with all the strength I could muster.
At that moment, Nam Yihwon’s eyes, which were reflecting me, slowly grew distant.
‘Ah, thank heavens.’
I was relieved to see that.
But at the same time, I was worried.
“Han, Seung…….”
The face that was born so handsome was once again a mess.
I want to tell him that
I’m okay
.
I think he told me not to say it earlier because he didn’t want to hear it.
What should I do then?
As that thought crossed my mind, two words slipped out of my mouth.
“…I’m sorry.”
The moment those words left my mouth, time resumed its flow as if fast-forwarding.
Screeeech!
CRASH!
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Translator’s Corner:
Friday is the good day for a funeral, don’t you think….
But anyway I’ll be busy today … I rushed this in the morning since I need to help out with my grandma’s death anniversary … which means cooking … and cooking again ….. this is what happens when you live in village … at least I can eat them while cooking them
Anyway I hate ruining the happy (?) mood of this chapter, but in case some people haven’t realized yet … although it’s pretty obvious from the blog address and the way I talked too much, but this is my personal blog T_T I think I already wrote somewhere that this blog is just my hobby … there’s just me and me alone …. it’s not like other translations site that run by multiple tls …. me a lone wolf …. mean every comments are showing up as notifications in my phone and while I’m too shy to reply to everyone, I read everything : 3 (some people asked, but no, I don’t have discord server T_T I’m shy, and I prefer to limit my interaction as translator on this blog only)
And I’m an INFP !!! I mean … you must have found out this story from NU, and if you saw it on NU, by the time most people found this story, it already has 100+ chapters since I reached chapter 100 in the first month … and by now, it has 200+ … I mean, please refrain from nitpicking A to Z and saying mean things that’s actually going to be explained in the already translated chapters if you just patient enough … and all the things that haven’t been explained will be explained soon …. I mean, I used to let them be since it’s only 1-2 people, but lately the new readers are getting more and more … insensitive that I just moved their comments straight to the bin ….. I got personally very triggered when I read insensitive comments T_T I mean, even if MC did commit, people didn’t commit on a whim …. not everyone is depressed so it’s okay not to understand the feeling (and it’s actually a very good thing if you don’t), but normally, if you don’t understand, you should have just stay quiet ……
If you want to bash, go to NU review section, not on my blog comment! Even the original novel comment sections didn’t have comments like the things I have to lined up on the bin folder these days … omg I’m slowly turning into a hedgehog for the MC ….
Anyway that’s it, I have to go now to do filial duty : 3 Enjoy your day everyone, sorry for the inconvenience~ Idk when will this talking too much habit go …. I was only planning to write one paragraph but once I started, I can’t stop …. make sure to eat a lot of good foods today!