[LEE CHISE’S POV]
“Flowers, I’ll send them to you again. Congratulations on your first place.”
“Inchan-ah!”
I urgently called his name over the phone.
But no answer came, and the call was cut off. I hurriedly tried calling again, but Jo Inchan didn’t pick up after that.
Ah, I should have brought it up more tactfully. I should have properly explained the accident, but I couldn’t easily bring myself to speak, unsure if the other person would be able to understand this absurd situation.
“Take good care of Jay. He’s got a bad hangover.”
‘…No way, does he think I simply forgot about him because of a hangover?’
There’s no way I’d leave someone for two hours just because of a hangover. It was a ridiculous assumption.
If he misunderstood like that, he should at least be angry.
He should have asked why I didn’t come to meet him.
But even though Jo Inchan had such a ridiculous misunderstanding, he didn’t show any resentment toward me. He just seemed like someone who was deeply frightened. Was he afraid to hear from me that ‘
The members don’t care about you that much
‘? Or had the memory of venting his resentment toward Yutae-hyung become a trauma, leaving him unable to say anything to us?
‘…I don’t know.’
I tried my best to protect the Prism that Yutae-hyung loved, but it seemed to be cracking more and more.
“Ha…….” I sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair.
‘…Why did things end up like this?’
I had something to be happy about, so I wanted to spend time with the people I wanted to share the joy with. I had no idea how things had turned out this badly.
‘I knew that if I made him face them right from the start, he’d avoid us, so I planned to meet him alone first, calmly persuade him in person, and then bring him up here…….’
I wanted to approach him as cautiously as possible.
I had no choice but to do so after I found out what had happened to Inchan.
But my cautiousness led us to this worst possible outcome.
“It’s okay. I didn’t wait long and just headed back.”
When I recalled his voice, dry from exhaustion, I felt a lump form in my throat.
The Jo Inchan in my memories never spoke with such a voice or said such things. I never imagined that the most innocent member of Prism, the one who expressed his feelings most honestly, would change like this.
‘…When was the last time I saw Inchan smile?’
No matter how hard I tried to recall Jo Inchan’s beaming face, all I could see was a blurry image. Just as I was feeling a little bitter about it, a conversation I had with Yutae-hyung in the past came to mind.
“Hyung, why did you choose Inchan to be a member of Prism?”
I didn’t really remember why I asked that question. It seemed like a question without much meaning, or maybe it was because I was angry at the people who criticized Inchan without knowing anything and I wanted our hyung to defend him. Or perhaps, I just wanted to see Yutae-hyung’s face flush red when I relayed his answer to Inchan.
As soon as Yutae-hyung heard the question, he gave me a sideways glance and replied bluntly, “
You don’t even know something like that?
“. But, as always, behind his grumpy response, he put in quite a bit of thought.
While my hyung mumbled the obvious things like, “
First of all, he’s good at dancing and singing
.
That’s a given
.” and “
He’s good-looking too
“, I watched him with a smile. After a long time spent in thought, he finally offered a concise answer.
“Because he looked desperate.”
Just as I was about to speak in response, he waved his hand dismissively and said, “
No, that’s not it
“. He then cleared his throat and lowered his gaze, mumbling something with an awkward expression.
“When I see that guy smiling so brightly … I find myself smiling along.”
“…….”
“Isn’t that one of the greatest talents an idol could have?”
I think I covered my mouth and burst out laughing as soon as I heard those words. I wondered if he was just embarrassed to say that, so he put up a smokescreen at first, or if he didn’t feel comfortable glossing over with such a suitable answer.
Then I was scolded with, “
You laugh after I went through all the trouble of answering you? Where did you learn such rudeness?
“. But I wasn’t intimidated by those words from Yutae-hyung. In fact, from that moment on, I started laughing hard, tears streaming down my face as I clutched my stomach. Because next to his usual stoic face, his ears were bright red, like they were about to explode. He didn’t seem aware of it, though.
After laughing like that for a while, I finally managed to straighten my back and catch my breath. At that moment, perfectly timed, a close-up of Jo Inchan’s smiling face on stage appeared on the screen.
“…….”
At that moment, the staff who had been working in the waiting room unknowingly stopped and stared at the screen. Their eyes were drawn to Jo Inchan’s face without them even realizing it.
As I watched that scene, I smiled and opened my mouth to speak.
“Me too. I think so too.”
Yutae-hyung’s words were true.
When Jo Inchan was really smiling, he looked happier than anyone else, and he shone brighter than anyone else.
…That’s how he was supposed to be.
How did he end up like this?
“Chise-hyung, uh, what should I do? Yutae-hyung is gone. He just left me behind.”
I clearly remembered the desperate words Jo Inchan uttered as he slumped on the floor, that very day when Yutae-hyung decided to leave the group.
“I, I must have lost my mind for a moment.”
He completely lost his composure. He trembled like a leaf in the wind, blurting out incomprehensible words as if confessing. His panic made his speech so slurred that it was hard to understand him, but I could clearly make out phrases like “
Hyung’s gone
” and “
I didn’t mean it
“. The rest was just a stream of vicious self-blame.
I don’t know what happened while I was gone, but no matter how I looked at it, he didn’t seem to be in his right mind.
I have vaguely guessed ever since.
I guessed, ‘
Yutae-hyung’s reason for leaving Prism must be related to Inchan
.’
Of course, I couldn’t confirm whether that was the truth or not. Because after that, Yutae-hyung completely shut his mouth and refused to meet us. Inchan, on the other hand, began hiding like a criminal in front of the members and got tied up near Kang Hyukwoo.
There was no solid basis for it. Unlike Yutae-hyung, I didn’t have the ability to read other people’s minds like a psychic, nor did I possess the ability to quickly assess the situation like Jay. I was just someone who looked a little deeper into the hearts of the people I cherished than others.
But that very fact allowed me to figure out certain important truths.
Jo Inchan had always been the type to overthink and easily blame himself whenever a problem arose, making him an easy target for others. His decision to attack the person he had admired, who was almost like an idol to him, was clearly a result of being pushed to a point where even blaming himself no longer seemed enough to alleviate his anxiety.
If he had done something wrong, he just needed to apologize and ask for forgiveness.
But Jo Inchan’s mental state was already too unhealthy to realize that obvious truth, and he had very little experience in being forgiven.
And the person who could actually forgive him had already passed away.
I couldn’t even imagine how mentally pressured he must have been after everything he went through because of Kang Hyukwoo.
‘He’s probably feeling a huge sense of guilt just for being a part of Prism.’
His self-esteem had already hit rock bottom, and I could clearly see how even the slightest comment from others would cause him to crumble.
“…….”
As I thought back to the exhausted figure I had seen not long ago, I became increasingly worried that he might be having some dangerous thoughts. The emotion was similar to the one I felt when I looked at Cha Woon-hyung when Yutae-hyung was used in COMA-1’s noise marketing. To be precise, the root of those emotions stemmed from having someone I cherished fall off the rooftop on his own will.
The difference between then and now was that, back then, Han Seungbeom was there to put a stop to the situation and calm Cha Woon-hyung down. But now, Jo Inchan was alone. With this realization, I bit my lip, quickly shoved my phone in my pocket, and, and sprang to my feet.
“Where are you going?”
“I think I should go check on him, even if it’s just for a moment.”
Among the members, I seemed to be holding on the best, but now I started to think that maybe I wasn’t all that different from the others after all.
“Lee Chise, if something happens to the members while I’m gone, keep an eye on them until I get back. Those big guys are always getting into trouble whenever I take my eyes off them for a second ……. You’re the only one who are somewhat okay.”
“Haha, got it. But what if something happens to me?”
Even if I went to see him now, there was a good chance Inchan wouldn’t want to see me. He might not even open the door for me. But that was okay. This was just a compulsive behavior to relieve my anxiety.
“…You can just come straight to me.”
“Huh? Hyung, you might be busy. You could be in the middle of a schedule. What is the busiest person in our group talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter. If something happens to you, it must be a serious problem.”
“…….”
“Do me this favor. Okay?”
I might still be bound by that cursed trust and affection.
“Now? You’re going to Inchan’s house right now?”
“Yeah, right now. If anything happens, call me right away. I’ll pick up the phone right away.”
I couldn’t deny that I wanted to prove to Jo Inchan that “
I always think of you as a member of Prism, and I don’t want to leave you alone any longer
“. But I also have to go there to fullfil my role. I just hoped he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.
“What are we supposed to do if Yoo Jay notices? If he finds out one of us is missing, he’ll make a huge fuss.”
“Then just buy me a little more time. I’ll be right back.”
I gave a not-so-helpful reply to his hurried, worried whispers. I pressed my hat back down on my head and glanced toward the room where Han Seungbeom was.
‘There doesn’t seem to be any major changes.’
Fortunately, according to what I checked earlier, Han Seungbeom’s body was recovering without major issues. He looked much more comfortable, and his body temperature, which had burning hot when he arrived at the studio, had come down to just a mild fever. Even if that mysterious power helping his recovery disappeared right now, an emergency situation was unlikely to happen.
And Jay, facing the bed, had curled his body and was sitting hunched over.
He had his face buried in his knees and was barely moving, so he was probably asleep.
‘Thank goodness. I can go now while there’s a chance. If I take a taxi, I should be able to return quickly.’
Feeling a little relieved, I quickly walked to the front door and started putting on my shoes without making a sound.
But suddenly, I heard an ominous voice behind me.
“Where are you going?”
I took a sharp breath and turned around, only to find Jay glaring at me with bloodshot eyes.
[END OF LEE CHISE’S POV]
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Translator’s Corner:
Maknae fighting….
But Prism is really funny, the hyung line (Yutae, Woon, Chise) are softie, meanwhile you have the dongsaeng Yihwon (troublemaker), Yuseong (baby who has zero respect to humans), Jay (hobby is quietly burying people he doesn’t like) … meanwhile the hyung line is still … omg … i need to protect my baby little brother …. (the little brother in question just buried people outside)
Like you can see how Cha Woon insisted he should be the one who’s paying and not letting Chise pay (probably because Yutae always did that too), and how Chise acted towards Inchan and Yihwon, and Yihwon was surprised when Chise didn’t give in to his request as usual, but then he was shocked too when he realized he raised his voice at Jay …. like, Jay is the final boss of all … the only person who can refuse him is maybe Yuseong, and that’s because Yuseong is in the same position of him (too busy getting pampered) (remember how he used to try to kill Cha Woon and Jay for disturbing his sleep).
Anyway, you will really really love the next chapter : 3