After Yu Ziyu left, Li Jiyan was anxious and bewildered in the room. Ugly. He had lived for twenty-one years and no one had ever described him as “ugly.” Yu Ziyu was the first.
He looked down at his crotch, his fingertips trembling as he tried to untie his belt, which he had tied in a knot that was now impossible to untie. He walked to the bronze mirror in the inner room, stared intently at his reflection, and in despair, punched the mirror, shattering it.
He quickly dressed, opened the door, and called out, “Xu Ting, come here!”
The guard Xu Ting rushed over, cupped his hands and bowed: “General, what are your orders?”
Li Jiyan took a deep breath and softened his tone before saying, “Go and prepare some beauty and skin-whitening ointments.”
Xu Ting was taken aback and asked suspiciously, “General, do you intend to use it yourself, or give it away?”
”Go and buy it.” Li Jiyan turned around, went back into the house, and closed the door.
Xu Ting dared not delay. After collecting the money from the accounting office, he hurriedly went out to buy cosmetics. He visited every cosmetic shop and even went to a pharmacy. He bought almost all the face powders and creams commonly used by young ladies and gentlemen in the capital.
Just as dusk was falling, he returned to the general’s mansion, carrying a bag of bottles and jars, and found Li Jiyan still practicing his sword in the back garden.
”General, I have bought everything you requested.”
Li Jiyan put down his sword and walked over with steady steps.
Xu Ting opened the cloth bag and introduced the items one by one: “General, this white jar is for cleansing, this red one is for applying to the face at night. And this one, this is for applying a thick layer. The shopkeeper said that if you apply it for three consecutive days for the time it takes to drink half a cup of tea, the effect will be amazing…”
Li Jiyan listened attentively to Xu Ting’s introduction. After he finished speaking, he took the cloth bag and said, “Yes, thank you for your hard work.”
Back in his room, he laid out all the bottles and jars on the table, carefully examining each one. He then took a few to the bathroom, intending to apply them while showering.
He took off his clothes, picked up a bucket of cold water and poured it over his head, then glanced at his private parts. He remembered what Yu Ziyu had said during the day, “Li Jiyan, you’re so ugly!” “How can your thing be so ugly? It makes me want to vomit.”
A wave of inferiority washed over me.
He knew his own identity—born a slave. If it weren’t for a stroke of luck in being adopted by Li Fanglian, he would have been a stable boy for life. For someone of his lowly birth to dare to covet Yu Ziyu was the boldest thing he had ever done in his life.
Yu Ziyu was such a beautiful woman, yet he fantasized about her repeatedly at night. He felt that he had gone mad, shamefully coveting her at all times and fantasizing that she would become his wife.
My mind is a complete mess.
After taking a bath, Li Jiyan took out a bottle of ointment and applied it to his private parts, scrubbing repeatedly. He didn’t care that it hurt, his only thought was to make that area whiter and more attractive, so as to please Yu Ziyu.
……
Nighttime, at the Yu residence.
Yu Ningying slept in the same bed with Zhao Tianjun, and she told her husband about Yu Ziyu’s rant against Li Jiyan for acting ugly earlier that day.
Zhao Tianjun sighed deeply.
”I think Li Jiyan is abnormal too. Back then, Ziyu told him to wash his hair with tea, and he did it. Now, she’s telling him to take off his pants, and he does it too. Is there anyone like that?”
Yu Ningying pondered for a moment, “Since Ziyu thinks he’s ugly, why don’t we find her a new one? We don’t need to get involved with Li’s anymore.”
“These things don’t distinguish between ugly and beautiful. Ziyu must be talking nonsense.” Zhao Tianjun gently turned over and hugged his wife. “I think that with Ziyu’s character, if she really wants to find a man, she can’t find a normal one. Li Jiyan is a good match for her.”
”If she thinks Li Jiyan’s is ugly, how can she befriend him?”
Zhao Tianjun smiled and said, “Madam, I have a solution. Ziyu has never seen a man’s thing before, and she was frightened when she first saw it. If she sees a few more, she probably won’t think that way anymore.”
Yu Ningying felt a surge of disdain: “What exactly do you mean?”
”Find a few clean male prostitutes to take off their clothes and show them to her, so she knows that all men’s penises look ugly, and then she won’t mind Li Jiyan anymore.”
After hearing her husband’s words, Yu Ningying was stunned for a long time. When she came to her senses, she pinched Zhao Tianjun’s arm and said, “How could you think of that! What if you scare her again?”
Zhao Tianjun dismissed it: “Ziyu has such a nerve, she dares to wander around the graveyard looking for gods in the middle of the night, what could possibly scare her?”
Yu Ningying thought about it and felt that her husband’s words made sense.
“Alright, I’ll leave this to you. Remember to find clean ones. My daughter is so precious; I’ve raised her with all my heart. Don’t let those dirty things taint her eyes.”
Zhao Tianjun: “Why should I go? You should be the one to arrange this. How would I know what kind of male prostitute is good-looking?”
”Okay, then you don’t need to worry about this.”
The next day.
After Yu Ningying got up, she secretly ordered several of her personal old maids to find and select a few clean male prostitutes.
At the same time, someone had to be sent up the mountain to deliver money to Yu Ziyu’s master, Ling Xuzi.
They all knew that Ling Xuzi was a fraudulent charlatan, but they were helpless. If they didn’t let Ling Xuzi continue to deceive Yu Ziyu, Yu Ziyu would have to find another master, and if she encountered some bad people, things would be terrible.
Although Ling Xuzi is a swindler, she is not an irredeemable villain. It is better to let her lead Yu Ziyu in her mischief than to let Yu Ziyu act recklessly on her own.
After returning from the accounting office, Yu Ningying went to Yu Ziyu’s room.
Before they even got close, Yu Ziyu’s desperate screams came from inside the house: “Who wants to harm me! Who, who is it?!”
The maid Qinghe rushed over and reported, “Madam, the Third Miss came out screaming and shouting, saying that someone is trying to harm her. What should we do?”
”I’ll go take a look first.”
Yu Ningying entered the house, which was in complete disarray. Yu Ziyu was wildly brandishing a long sword in her right hand and a curved knife in her left, shouting that someone was trying to harm her.
Yu Ningying stepped forward and grasped her wrist: “My dear, what’s wrong?”
Yu Ziyu burst into tears, her eyes swollen from crying: “Mother, someone wants to harm me!”
”Who would want to harm you? With your mother here, no one would dare to harm my Ziyu,” she said softly, gently taking the long sword from Yu Ziyu’s hand and handing it to the maid beside her.
Yu Ziyu kept rubbing her eyes, crying and complaining, “Mother, I’ve lost my ability to see ghosts and demons. I can’t see them anymore. Someone must be trying to harm me and blinded my eyes when I wasn’t looking.”
Yu Ningying was secretly delighted.
They’ve been coaxing Yu Ziyu into taking a lot of medicine these past few days, and it’s likely the medicine is working, making her hallucinations disappear. The biggest symptom of Yu Ziyu’s hysteria is the constant hallucinations. If the hallucinations disappear, then a complete cure is just around the corner.
Thinking this, Yu Ningying was overjoyed and pulled Yu Ziyu to sit down.
”My dear child, since your Yin-Yang Eyes are gone, let’s not exorcise demons anymore. Exorcising demons is too tiring. From now on, you should rest well and stay at home to have fun. Wouldn’t that be better?”
Yu Ziyu retorted angrily, “No way! Eating, drinking, and having fun are nothing compared to the joy of being an immortal. I want to be an immortal! Being an immortal is truly wonderful!”
Before her mother could reply, Yu Ziyu got up again, snatched the sword from the maid’s hand, and swiftly sheathed it, her eyes blazing.
”Mother, I know who’s trying to harm me! It must be that slut Li Jiyan. Yesterday I saw what was in his crotch, and I was terrified. The *Taishang Laojun Neiguan Jing* says, ‘A pure heart is not impure; a clean heart is not defiled.'”
”It must be because Li Jiyan’s thing is so ugly that I was frightened and ruined my Yin-Yang eyes. What a despicable villain! How hateful and despicable! How dare he disturb my Dao heart! I’ll subdue this monster!”
After finishing her tirade, she grabbed her sword and stormed out the door.
Yu Ningying and the others chased after her, but Yu Ziyu turned around and waved.
”Mother, don’t follow me. The immortal has bestowed his talent upon me alone, intending for me to become an immortal. Don’t let anyone follow me, lest someone else steals my immortal techniques and angers the immortal.”
”Alright, then be careful.” Yu Ningying could only agree.
Yu Ziyu never lets anyone follow her when she goes out to “exorcise demons,” saying she’s afraid others will steal her magic. A few years ago, her family, fearing something might happen to her, even secretly sent people to follow her.
When she found out, he went even crazier.
Besides, she wasn’t truly fearless. Over the years, when she said she was going to kill demons, she actually only wandered around the mountains behind the Yu family’s residence, never daring to go far.
The mountain behind the Yu family had long been contracted by the Yu family and used specifically for Yu Ziyu to play and cultivate immortality.
In this way, even if Yu Ziyu goes up the mountain to kill demons, her family won’t have to worry too much. After all, she’s been acting crazy all these years, but nothing really serious has ever happened to her.
After Yu Ziyu had walked away, Yu Ningying said to her servants, “Find a nimble guard and have him go to General Li’s residence to inform him that Ziyu is going to see him, and ask him to be understanding.”
”Yes, madam.”
Yu Ziyu carried the knife and moved forward unimpeded, with pedestrians avoiding her.
Everyone knows that the third young lady of the Yu family is spoiled, has a violent temper, and acts tyrannically all day long.
Her mother was the daughter of a wealthy merchant, and her family owned more than half of the embroidery workshops in the capital; her father was the Minister of Rites; her eldest sister, Yu Qingdai, was a close friend of the Princess who held military power; and her second brother, Yu Yuanchu, was a scholar in the Hanlin Academy.
In addition, Yu Ziyu always liked to figure out various martial arts secrets, and against this background, everyone was wary of this crazy young lady.
Yu Ziyu arrived at the General’s Mansion. Li Jiyan had received a message from the Yu family guards a moment earlier and was now eagerly awaiting Yu Ziyu’s arrival.
”Where is your general?” Yu Ziyu asked the guard at the door, her face as cold as ice, suppressing her anger.
”Miss, my general is waiting for you inside.”
Yu Ziyu rushed in and, relying on yesterday’s memory, easily found Li Jiyan’s room. She kicked the door open and saw Li Jiyan playing chess by himself inside.
Upon seeing Yu Ziyu enter, he silently got up and went to close the door.
”Li Jiyan, do you know what heinous crime you have committed?” Yu Ziyu interrogated him directly without any ambiguity.
”What wrong have I done?” Li Jiyan walked towards her, his tall and imposing figure standing in front of her.
”You still don’t know your crime!”
Yu Ziyu was furious because this person had taken off his pants to show her yesterday, damaging her yin-yang eyes. If her yin-yang eyes were to go blind, her future path of cultivation would be even more difficult.
To corrupt people’s moral compass and damage their spiritual roots is an unforgivable sin!
Li Jiyan couldn’t understand what she was saying; all he wanted to do at that moment was claim credit.
The ointment Xu Ting bought was indeed effective. He applied several kinds of ointment while taking a bath last night, and when he looked at it this morning, his skin was much pinker and whiter.
”I look a little better somewhere, do you want to see?” he whispered ingratiatingly, his ears burning red.
”Where?” Yu Ziyu was so angry that her mind went blank, and she didn’t realize what he was saying.
Li Jiyan peeked at her rosy cheeks: “It’s the spot you said was ugly yesterday. I applied some ointment, and it seems to look better now.”
”Let me take a look.”
Yu Ziyu raised her sword and steadily pried open Li Jiyan’s belt. She sharpened this sword every day; it was incredibly sharp, a blade that could cut through hair. With a few light strokes, she cut open Li Jiyan’s belt, revealing a glimpse of what lay beneath.
He had indeed become much fairer, but Yu Ziyu was still frightened.
She finds this thing ugly, and it’s not about skin color. She simply thinks it’s ugly, and no matter how much Li Jiyan tries to beautify it, she still thinks it’s ugly.
”Li Jiyan, you are truly vicious! Using such an ugly thing to scare me!” Yu Ziyu screamed and ran out of the house in a panic. She needed to find a place to calm down; every time she saw this thing, she felt disgusted.
She moved with lightning speed, leaving the capital and heading towards the secluded mountain where she usually cultivated.
Once she reached the mountain, the fresh scent of the grass and trees made her feel a little better.
Damn it, it seems I’m still too inexperienced.
I had intended to get rid of Li Jiyan, that scoundrel, but I’m disgusted by his thing again. This won’t do; I must diligently cultivate my skills. Only when my power is profound can I be invincible.
”The Tao that can be spoken of is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. Nameless, it is the origin of all things…” Yu Ziyu kept reciting the Tao Te Ching to calm her mind.
After calming down, she rubbed her eyes again.
Looking around, she saw mountains as mountains, water as water, and trees as trees. The scene before her was so clear that it filled her with fear and confusion.
Since she can’t see demons and monsters, her ability to see ghosts must be broken; we need to find a way to fix it first. As for Li Jiyan’s “crimes,” we’ll deal with that later.
Yu Ziyu kept walking up the mountain, searching for a “cure” for her psychic eyes. After a long search, her efforts finally paid off, and she found it.
She found several thumb-sized, yellowish-brown mushrooms in the grass, which were the “miracle cure” she had accidentally discovered last year. After she went up the mountain to kill demons last year, her ability to see ghosts suddenly stopped working, and she could no longer see them.
She casually placed the dry rations she had brought on the ground, and when she picked them up to eat, she accidentally tore off a wild mushroom and stuffed it into her mouth. Unexpectedly, she discovered that her malfunctioning yin-yang eyes had been restored, and she could see many miraculous sights that ordinary people could not see.
After that, she became convinced that the yellowish-brown mushroom must have been a gift from an immortal to help her cultivate immortality.
She didn’t even tell the master about this, because the master forbade her from eating anything indiscriminately, not even the elixirs she herself had refined.
Yu Ziyu picked a few mushrooms, took out her water pouch, and rinsed them clean. She then popped them into her mouth and chewed them heartily.
It tasted awful, bitter and astringent, like a moldy sweet potato, with a nauseating bitterness. But she still insisted on eating it. The path to immortality was inherently arduous; to attain enlightenment and ascend to heaven, one had to endure the bitterest of hardships!
Yu Ziyu gagged several times, then drank several large mouthfuls of water before finally swallowing the mushroom in her mouth.
She untied the silver sword from her back and the curved knife from her waist, placing them on either side of her. She began to meditate, silently reciting a calming mantra.
Not long after.
She felt lightheaded, as if she were floating on clouds, as if her soul had left her body. She opened her eyes, and the world before her dazzled her; mountains were not mountains, water was not water, and trees were not trees.
Various spirits and ghosts drifted through the forest, scattering colorful lights.
”Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! Incredibly wonderful! My Yin-Yang Eyes have opened, I’m going to become immortal! Hahahaha!” Yu Ziyu laughed maniacally, startling all the beasts in the forest into scattering in all directions.
Just then, a familiar voice rang out from behind: “Yu Ziyu, what are you laughing at?”
Yu Ziyu turned her head and saw that it was Li Jiyan. She smiled at him and said, “How could you, a mere mortal, understand the wonders of being an immortal? This wonderful world is truly amazing!”
Li Jiyan walked up to her and waved his hand in front of her eyes: “What did you see?”
”Don’t ask too many questions about immortals. You don’t have the ability to see ghosts, so you can’t see them.” Yu Ziyu leaped up, picked up a long sword from the grass, and tied it to her body.
Li Jiyan looked down at the mushrooms that Yu Ziyu had left uneaten.
He recognized it as a hallucinogenic poisonous mushroom. It wouldn’t kill people, but it had a strong hallucinogenic effect after consumption, causing emotional excitement and mental instability.
He seemed to understand where Yu Ziyu’s so-called “yin-yang eyes” came from.