16
The Hatred Rising in My Heart
Gu Wenshu felt slightly uncomfortable under the man’s gaze—his eyes were too penetrating, making her feel utterly exposed standing before him.
She rinsed the rag she had used to wipe the stove and said calmly, “Even if you don’t treat me well, I will still be good to the two children.”
“I know it was wrong of me to hit and scold them before. It was because I couldn’t see any hope for the future, and I lost the courage to live. I could only vent my resentment and hatred on the children.” She hung the rag to dry and turned to stare at Li Xiuran. “Actually, I should have directed this resentment toward you. During our marriage, you came back several times, yet you never noticed how your family was mistreating the three of us.”
“For someone in the military, it’s a shame you couldn’t detect the undercurrents of malice and cruelty hidden in your own home during your visits.”
Li Xiuran was taken aback by Gu Wenshu’s counteraccusation, but upon reflection, he realized she was right. If he had been more observant and discovered earlier that his mother and sister-in-law were mistreating his wife and children despite receiving money, he would have made arrangements long ago instead of nearly losing his children before coming to his senses.
“I’m sorry. That was my oversight.”
Gu Wenshu hadn’t expected the man to admit his mistake so readily, making her earlier words seem somewhat petty in hindsight.
But those were the original host’s thoughts—the original host harbored resentment toward Li Xiuran as a husband.
She replied indifferently, “The harm has already been done, whether it was your family’s treatment of me or my actions toward the children. But I won’t repeat it. I will be a good mother and raise the children well—not because of you, but because I’ve found hope to live on.”
After speaking, she curved her lips into a smile.
Li Xiuran was momentarily dazzled by her smile—it was the first time he had seen Gu Wenshu smile so purely.
Pressing his lips together, he nodded. “That’s good.”
He pointed to Gu Wenshu’s head. “I need to go to the hospital for a follow-up. Should you get that head injury checked too?”We can take the two children along.”
Gu Wenshu’s eyes lit up at this, and she nodded repeatedly. “Okay.”Her head indeed needed medical attention—the original host had died from such an injury, so she didn’t dare take it lightly.”
Moreover, the original host and the two children had very few clothes, with scarcely any autumn or winter wear, so they needed to buy a few sets.
“Go pack two sets of clothes now. We’ll leave soon—there’s still one bus to the county seat from the Commune.” As he opened the kitchen door, he added, “I’ll go ask the team leader to write us a letter of introduction.Li Xiuran returned riding a bicycle and found Gu Wenshu ready with the two children. Smiling, he reached out to Sanbao. “Come, sit in front of Dad.”
Sanbao toddled over eagerly and was promptly lifted onto the Front Beam Seat of the Erba Bicycle. Gu Wenshu had never seen such a seat before and worriedly eyed the child perched on it. “Is this really safe?”
The wooden seat was similar to the bicycle’s saddle, but the child had to hold onto the handlebars. She was concerned that five-year-old Sanbao might fall.
Li Xiuran smiled faintly. “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”
Gu Wenshu wanted to say more, but seeing the man’s confident expression, she kept silent.
Sanbao sat on the bicycle, smiling at his mother: “Mom, you and sister come up quickly.”
Seeing how bold her young child was, Gu Wenshu had no choice but to resign herself to carrying Xiao Ni’er and sitting at the back of the bicycle, not forgetting to remind him: “Slow down a bit, keep an eye on Sanbao.”
She was so anxious. It wouldn’t matter if Li Xiuran fell, but the two children absolutely must not get hurt.
Sensing her fear, Li Xiuran curled his lips and had a mischievous idea. As soon as he got on the bicycle, he rode very fast, startling Gu Wenshu into wrapping her arms around the man’s waist. Xiao Ni’er was squeezed between the two of them, but instead of being scared, she thought her parents were playing with her and giggled happily.
Seeing this, Gu Wenshu felt both annoyed and amused. If she weren’t afraid that the man’s unstable riding might cause Sanbao, who was sitting in front, to fall, she would have pinched his arm hard.
When Xiao Ni’er saw her father slow down, she became unhappy and cried out: “Daddy, fast, fast!”
Li Xiuran laughed heartily: “Then Xiao Ni’er must hold onto Daddy tightly. Daddy is going to ride fast now.”
After saying this, he rode even faster, making Gu Wenshu exclaim in frustration: “Slow down, slow down!”
But the father and his two children were having fun as if it were a game, their joyful laughter echoing all the way.
Only she was the one worrying.
The road in the village was made of compacted mud, relatively smooth, allowing them to ride a bit faster. Once outside the village, the road was full of potholes, and Li Xiuran had no choice but to slow down.
It was only three kilometers from the Brigade to the Commune, and they arrived quickly by bicycle.
After reaching the Commune, Li Xiuran first went to park the bicycle at the Commune canteen, entrusting it to his eldest cousin who worked there to keep it safe for two days. Then, he took his wife and two children to board the bus to the county town.
Although Gu Wenshu had endured hardships since childhood, this was her first time riding such a bus. As soon as she got on, she was hit by a suffocating, unpleasant smell. She could only pull the children to the very back and quickly open the window. Breathing in the wind from outside, the nauseating feeling gradually subsided.
Li Xiuran glanced at her and quietly picked up Sanbao: “If you’re feeling unwell, give Xiao Ni’er to me.”
Gu Wenshu shook her head: “It’s just that I’m not used to the smell yet.”
In the original host’s memories, she had only ridden a bus once—when the two of them went to the county town to register their marriage shortly after getting married.
The original host had severe motion sickness. That one bus ride nearly cost her half her life. After getting off, she vomited incessantly, and on the way back, she even cried and refused to ride the bus again.
Recalling the look Li Xiuran had given her earlier, her expression froze. She whispered, “I… I won’t be as pathetic as the first time this time.”
Hearing her self-comforting explanation, Li Xiuran chuckled unkindly: “Let’s hope so.”
He said to Sanbao: “Sanbao and Xiao Ni’er will definitely be better than Mommy, right?”
He wasn’t too worried about Sanbao, but he was concerned that Xiao Ni’er might get motion sickness like her mother.
After the bus started, the entire journey was on bumpy, pothole-ridden roads. The bus rocked and swayed, and Gu Wenshu’s face turned pale. A wave of nausea washed over her, but she forced it down.
Seeing her like this, Li Xiuran sighed. It seemed he really shouldn’t have had high expectations for a woman prone to motion sickness.
He reached out and took Xiao Ni’er into his arms as well. Looking at the two energetic children and then at their mother, he felt a little relieved that the children didn’t inherit their mother’s motion sickness. Otherwise, it would have been quite troublesome.
Gu Wenshu leaned back in her seat and shot Li Xiuran a glare. “You’re taking pleasure in my misfortune.”
Li Xiuran glanced at her. “Fortunately, the Commune has a junior high school. If you had to go to the county town for junior high, you’d definitely drop out.”
Upon hearing this, Gu Wenshu sneered, “I’d walk there.”
Her tone was sharp, and when she looked at the man, there was a hatred in her eyes that even she couldn’t suppress.