17
A Life Ruined
Just moments ago, when the words “studying” were mentioned, a flood of memories surged into her mind—these were the complete memories belonging to the original owner of this body.
The past events crammed into her memory all at once, the pain in her head making her lean weakly against the chair back. Two lines of tears uncontrollably slid down her cheeks. Worried someone might see, she quickly wiped them away.
The original owner’s grandmother was a far-sighted old woman who scrimped and saved to send her to school. The original owner had been diligent in her studies, successfully gaining admission to the commune middle school after elementary school, and then to high school after junior high. However, the year she entered high school, her grandmother passed away, leaving her without the means to continue her education.
Not long after her grandmother was buried, the original owner’s high school admission letter was torn up. Yet the Gu Family deceived her, promising that if she married Li Xiuran, the Li Family would provide the money for her high school education. Her grandmother’s dying wish had been for her granddaughter to continue studying, and wanting to fulfill that wish, she agreed to marry Li Xiuran.
But on their wedding day, Li Xiuran was called away on a mission. Soon after, she was locked up by the Li Family. Whenever she expressed a desire to study, they would withhold food from her, and Granny Li would even resort to physical violence. Terrified of the beatings, the original owner had no choice but to compromise in order to survive.
Hoping to persuade Li Xiuran to let her attend school upon his return, she worked diligently for the Li Family after gaining some freedom, trying to win their favor so she could go to high school.
Unbeknownst to her, Li Xiuran was gone for three months, and by the time he returned, high school had long since started.
She also discovered that her admission letter had been destroyed.
With no prospects for her future and no hope ahead, the only person who had truly loved her—her grandmother—was gone. The original owner contemplated suicide.
In the end, Bai Xiuying threatened her, warning that if she caused any more trouble, they would dig up her grandmother’s grave, ensuring she could not rest in peace even in death.
Her grandmother was the original owner’s fatal weakness. She compromised once again, obtaining the marriage certificate with Li Xiuran after his return. Not long after, she became pregnant.
Life seemed to hold hope again, if only for the sake of her child.
But that hope gradually vanished amid the daily abuse and scoldings, until she eventually became a helpless mother who resorted to violence against her own children.
Recalling the past, a surge of bitterness still churned within her.
She forcibly suppressed the hatred threatening to burst from her chest, gritting her teeth as she said, “If Grandma were still alive, I would have walked to Yunping Commune to attend high school, rather than marry you.”
The nearest high school to Annan Commune was in neighboring Yunping Commune, a three-hour walk away.
Back then, the original owner had been full of anticipation, but unfortunately, she never once set foot on that path.
The more she thought about it, the more hatred swelled within her—this overwhelming resentment originated from this very body. It had been deeply buried until the topic of studying was brought up, unlocking the floodgates of her memory.
From this, it was clear that the original owner’s greatest regret was her inability to continue her education.
Influenced by this sense of injustice, her eyes burned with hatred. If she didn’t make the Gu and Li Families pay for their actions, she wouldn’t be Gu Wenshu.
Li Xiuran tightened his grip on the two children, looking at Gu Wenshu in disbelief. “You were admitted to high school?”
Gu Wenshu glanced at him and sneered, “Yes, I was admitted to high school. The Gu Family hid my admission letter and threatened to tear it up if I didn’t obediently marry you. Your mother promised me that as long as I married you, she would let me continue my studies.”
“Finally, your family painted me a grand illusion, and all these years I nearly starved to death and was beaten to death because of that illusion.”
She stared unblinkingly at Li Xiuran: “During those days after you got married and left home, how I longed for your return. I wanted to beg you to let me go to school, even if I had to borrow money myself. I just wanted my admission notice back. But they threatened me using my grandmother – if I dared mention studying to you,” she leaned close to his ear and whispered, “they would dig up my grandmother’s grave.”
These words made Li Xiuran’s face turn extremely grim, his hands clenching tightly into fists.
Hearing Gu Wenshu’s low laughter by his ear, he detected both sorrow and hatred in it, suddenly realizing how absurd his life and marriage had been.
So everything had been orchestrated by his mother’s schemes.
After a long while, he finally found his voice and said quietly, “I’m sorry.”
But what could endless apologies possibly make up for?
No one understood better than him how difficult it was to get into high school. She had been just one step away from changing her life, yet her future was destroyed at the final moment.
Though he hadn’t known about it, he had still been pushed into playing a part in it.
He looked at her: “I will get justice for you in this matter.”
She heard the hoarseness in his voice and saw his weary expression, suddenly feeling how cruel life could be: “We were both pawns in their schemes.”
The original host’s deepest hatred wasn’t directed at Li Xiuran; sometimes she even admired this man who risked his life on the front lines. But reason had gradually been worn away by life, leaving behind only seething hatred for everyone.
Both children could sense the tense atmosphere between their parents, especially since their mother had been crying. They were too frightened to say a word.
The bus rattled its way to the county town. When getting off, Li Xiuran carried one child in each arm while reminding Gu Wenshu to be careful and stay close.
Glancing at the woman who hadn’t gotten carsick, he remarked slowly, “You did well this time – no vomiting.”
Gu Wenshu sneered, “Did you think I’d give you the satisfaction of seeing me sick?”
Li Xiuran felt utterly helpless. When had he ever laughed at her?
He asked Gu Wenshu, “Let’s first go to the guesthouse to drop off our things, then I’ll take you all to the department store for shopping, and afterward we’ll eat at the state-run restaurant. Does that sound acceptable?”
Gu Wenshu murmured agreement. She really needed to find a place to lie down for a while.
There was a guesthouse not far from the bus station. Li Xiuran booked only one room, feeling uneasy about leaving Gu Wenshu alone with the children in an unfamiliar place. He preferred keeping them within sight.
Gu Wenshu wanted to say something, but Li Xiuran had already booked the room and put away their marriage certificate and introduction letter. All her words remained unspoken.
The room contained a large bed, chairs, and a separate shower.
Li Xiuran had Gu Wenshu sit down while he quickly poured her a cup of water from the thermos he carried: “Drink some water first and rest awhile. We’ll go out later.”
Gu Wenshu took the cup and nodded. After drinking the warm water, she felt much better.
Watching the man talking with the children on the chairs, she recalled his interactions with the original host over the years. Once when he returned home and found the original host sick, he had cared for her by the bedside. At that time, the original host’s reputation in the Production Team had already been thoroughly ruined, yet he had never said a word about it.
When he returned, he would secretly leave some money for the original owner. Unfortunately, she couldn’t protect it, as it was all taken away by the Gu Family through coercion and enticement.
Apart from the Gu Family and the Li Family, the original owner’s own weakness was also partly to blame for her misfortune. If she had dared to pick up a knife and fight back like she would, no one would have dared to bully her.
Lost in thought, she eventually fell asleep.
Li Xiuran listened to the steady breathing coming from behind him. He turned to glance at the woman on the bed and let out a deep sigh.
He said to the two children, “From now on, listen to your mother. Don’t let her get too tired, understand?”
When he returned home filled with hatred, he had truly wanted to kill this heartless woman. Little did he expect that in less than two days, his feelings toward her would shift from hatred to a sense of indebtedness.
Yet some debts could never be repaid.
But as long as she was willing, he would shelter her under his wings for a lifetime.
Never allowing anyone to bully her again.
The two children nodded repeatedly at their father’s words: “Be good to Mom, listen to Mom.”
Xiao Ni’er, recalling how her mother had cried in the car, added, “If we don’t listen, Mom will cry.”