Lu Huai’s final words seemed to have no visible effect on Jiang Yun.
He went about his day as usual, calmly reporting to the upper ranks, delegating tasks to subordinates, attending endless online meetings, reviewing and signing stacks of dense, classified documents.
Everything followed the same precise rhythm it had for the past seventeen years, as if nothing at all had changed.
Only after finishing the last of his duties did Jiang Yun finally make his way to the Star Dome Lounge on the top deck of the battleship.
The Star Dome Lounge was one of the most popular places aboard, a sanctuary where exhausted officers came to unwind after a day of tension and command.
Few could resist the quiet temptation of sitting beneath the panoramic glass dome, a drink in hand, chatting with colleagues about trivialities that had nothing to do with politics, or sharing stories about loved ones waiting for them back home in the capital.
All around, through the clear curved walls, the stars stretched endlessly. It felt as though one stood at the very heart of the universe itself.
By the time Jiang Yun arrived, it was already well past midnight. The once lively lounge was empty now, save for a bartender, an android painted like a clown, its expression frozen into a cheerful grin.
Jiang Yun sat down at the bar and ordered a glass of brandy.
The lights here were deliberately dim, a warm, amber glow that slid softly across his pale face. It gathered and broke in the shadow of his long lashes, casting faint dusky shades beneath his eyes.
No one knew how long he sat there, nor how many glasses he had downed, when suddenly a voice broke through the quiet:
“You’ve had too much to drink, Jiang Yun.”
He didn’t lift his head. His gaze lingered on the faint reflection of the newcomer in the curved wall of his glass. The corners of his lips rose slightly, carrying the aftertaste of liquor and habit, a diplomat’s practiced smile.
It was a smile he had rehearsed and perfected over years of service. No matter who stood before him, stranger or rival, friend or foe, Jiang Yun could always summon that faultless, gracious expression the moment it was required.
“Does Major Maurice have a fondness for wandering about at night?” Jiang Yun asked lightly. “Last time it was the training room. This time, it’s the lounge.”
Perhaps it was the alcohol, but his voice had softened, lighter than usual, almost tender. The gentle tone made Maurice’s heart twist in his chest.
The man sat down beside him, his clear blue eyes lingering on Jiang Yun’s slightly flushed profile. Struggling to steady his voice, he said quietly, “I heard Lu Huai’s final message.”
Jiang Yun raised his gaze, his eyes unfocused with a trace of drunken confusion. “…Oh?”
Ah, right ।the will.
Others in the high command had been privy to it as well. Everyone knew now, Lu Huai didn’t love him anymore.
Maurice drew a slow breath, forcing himself to look away from the diplomat’s face. Staring instead at the brandy in Jiang Yun’s hand, he spoke haltingly,
“I knew Lu Huai. He only said those words because he wanted you to move on. He didn’t want to see you trapped in those two months forever. He wanted you to be happy, to live freely, without being alone for the rest of your life.”
Jiang Yun studied him for a long moment, then gave a faint smile. “Major, did you come all this way just to tell me something I already know?”
Maurice blinked in surprise. “You… already knew?”
“How could I not?” Jiang Yun’s laughter deepened, low and tinged with irony. “I may have given birth to Lu Chao, but emotional intelligence clearly doesn’t run in the family.”
Maurice frowned. “If you knew… then why.. ”
Why are you still so heartbroken?
“Because that’s just the kind of man Lu Huai was,” Jiang Yun murmured, turning his wrist.
The brandy swirled lazily with the motion, catching the dim light. “He never understood… that the more he tried to make things easier for me, the harder it became to let him go.”
His voice faded into a whisper. “I can’t forget him.”
I can’t forget him…
For the first time, Jiang Yun admitted it… to himself, and to another person.
Maurice’s chest tightened painfully. He wanted to say something, anything, but before he could, the words tumbled out on their own: “Jiang Yun, tell me honestly, seventeen years ago, had you already fallen in love with Lu Huai?”
Jiang Yun didn’t answer right away. His gaze drifted between the glass in his hand and the boundless nebula outside the window, as though trying to recall something lost to time.
Then, he slowly shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe… not yet.”
Maurice gave a small, bitter smile. “You’re still lying.”
Jiang Yun exhaled softly. The question had sobered him a little, though his voice remained low and warm,
“Back then, I was so young. I hadn’t even graduated. My parents were still alive. I… I might still have been growing. I didn’t understand what it meant to love someone deeply. All I knew was that I liked being with Lu Huai, I looked forward to breakfast with him every morning; I liked waiting for him to come and take care of me. I just… knew he would make every unhappy thing go away.”
He wasn’t lying, to Maurice or to himself.
Even now, even after all the grief, after years of avoiding their old home on Shallow Water Road, after trying to bury every shared memory, he still didn’t believe that he had truly loved Lu Huai back then.
“But if you ask me,” Jiang Yun said after a pause, “…. If Lu Huai were still alive, would I have fallen in love with him? Then yes. I would have.”
Maurice froze.
“But he never gave me the chance,” Jiang Yun whispered. “Before I could love him, he stopped wanting me.”
His eyes fell to his left hand, to the empty space where a ring should have been. His voice was barely audible. “Sometimes I don’t even know whether that was a blessing or a curse.”
If he hadn’t loved Lu Huai back then, he could have started a new life at any time.
If he had loved him, he could have lived the rest of his life waiting, faithfully, contentedly with their child.
But Lu Huai had died right when Jiang Yun was about to love him.
We could have been happy.
We really could have.
Those six words had echoed through Jiang Yun’s mind for seventeen long years, carving themselves into his very bones.
He no longer knew what to do with those endless “ifs” and “maybes.”
In time, he came to understand, some hypotheticals were meaningless from the start.
If Lu Huai were alive, yes, he would have loved him. But Lu Huai was gone. Did that mean he no longer loved him now?
Maurice wanted to say a thousand things, but every word caught in his throat. In the end, all he managed was a hoarse murmur: “Lu Huai didn’t abandon you. He just… couldn’t stay.”
Jiang Yun gave a tired nod. “I know.”
“It’s all right,” Maurice said, forcing a small, encouraging smile. “You’re still young, Jiang Yun. There’s so much time ahead. One day, you’ll find peace again.”
“Peace… time…” Jiang Yun repeated softly, eyes unfocused. Then, almost to himself, he said, “That’s what Lu Huai always told me too. He used to say we had so much time that he’d take me to see every place in the galaxy, that he’d make me breakfast for the rest of my life. And yet, look how that turned out.”
Maurice had never seen him like this before. His throat tightened. “Jiang Yun…”
Realizing his tone had slipped into bitterness, Jiang Yun pressed his fingers to his brow. He’d lost control.
He must really be drunk. Otherwise, how could he possibly be saying all this, to Maurice, of all people?
He closed his eyes, rubbed his temples, and said quietly, “I’m sorry. I’ve lost my composure.”
“It’s fine,” Maurice replied in a low voice. “You can tell me anything. Sometimes talking helps.”
Jiang Yun let out a weary sigh and leaned back in his chair. “I just want to rest for a while. You should go.”
Of course, Maurice couldn’t bring himself to leave him there alone. Seeing that Jiang Yun didn’t insist further, he simply stayed in silence, watching as the man’s breathing gradually evened out and his long lashes stilled.
Jiang Yun had fallen asleep.
Maurice hesitated. He didn’t want to disturb him, but neither could he leave him passed out in the lounge. After some inner struggle, he finally decided to carry him back to his quarters.
He rose and was about to lift Jiang Yun when a clear young voice cut through the quiet.
“Uncle Maurice.”
Maurice turned sharply.
Jiang Mu was standing by the doorway, arms crossed, staring at him coldly.
Since childhood, Jiang Mu had always been gentle and mild, as warm as spring sunlight. It was the first time Maurice had ever seen such an expression on the boy’s face, and it made his heart sink.
“Xiao Mu,” he said softly, “why are you here?”
“Lu Chao wouldn’t listen when I told him to stop gaming. I came to tell Dad,” the teenager replied evenly. His hair was a little tousled from sleep, but his clothes were immaculate as always.
Though his words were childish, his expression was cool and composed, eerily reminiscent of Jiang Yun’s diplomatic mask. “The assistant told me he was here.”
“Yes,” Maurice admitted. “Your father wasn’t feeling well tonight.”
Jiang Mu’s gaze shifted to his sleeping father. His tone remained calm but edged with frost,“May I ask what you intend to do with him?”
Maurice flushed slightly. “He’s drunk. I was only going to take him back to his room.”
“There’s no need to trouble yourself,” Jiang Mu said politely but firmly. “My brother and I will see him back.”
Maurice could hardly argue with the boy in front of his own father. “All right. Then… you all get some rest.”
When he was gone, Jiang Mu slipped off his coat and draped it gently over his father’s shoulders. Then he used his communicator to call his brother.
Perhaps sensing the presence of his children, Jiang Yun stirred faintly as they lifted him. His eyelashes trembled, and slowly, he opened his eyes.
His face was flushed from drink, his breathing shallow and warm. Even the faintest trace of his pheromones seemed to escape into the air.
“Dad?” Jiang Mu bent down, touching his forehead with concern. “Are you all right? Do you want some water?”
“Dad, are you upset about something?” Lu Chao leaned close, his handsome face filling Jiang Yun’s vision. “Why’d you drink so much? Did someone make you sad?”
Jiang Yun blinked, focusing with effort on their faces.
…His two treasures.
The two children he and Lu Huai had brought into the world.
He took Jiang Mu’s hand from his forehead and held it gently in his own. Then his gaze shifted to Lu Chao.
He didn’t know from whom Lu Chao had inherited his temperament, but he’d always known exactly whose eyes the boy had.
Lu Chao was looking at him now, those deep, luminous eyes watching him intently.
Not the Jiang Yun of seventeen years ago, but the Jiang Yun of now, older, quieter, long past the days of youthful bloom.
Jiang Yun lifted a hand, wanting to touch those eyes, that gaze.
But the weight of sleep overcame him before he could. His fingers faltered, fell softly back to his side.
And he sank once more into the depths of slumber.
✦ ✧ ✦
Cressilia
[Translator]
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ChaptersChapter 1 · Who can compare to Colonel Lu?Chapter 2 · He should be deadChapter 3 · How were we born?Chapter 4 · That’s where Colonel died..Chapter 5 · No one knows my pheromone than Colonel LuChapter 6 · Colonel Lu’s remainsChapter 7 · Heat is approachingChapter 8 · CheckmateChapter 9 · A dream liked married lifeChapter 10 · What might be his pregnancy be like?Chapter 11 · He thought he would be the father of two childrenChapter 12 · So we just hang Colonel Lu on the wall?Chapter 13 · Finally, I have something to say to my wifeChapter 14 · Why doesn’t Colonel Lu understandChapter 15 · He doesn’t Love MeChapter 16 · You’ll see him soonChapter 17 · So casual, so carelessChapter 18 Part 1 · He.. He’s looking at meChapter 18 Part 2 · He..He’s looking at meChapter 19 · Lu Huai is still aliveChapter 20 · Wait until I bring back your zombie Alpha dadChapter 21 · Long time no see, Jiang YunChapter 22 · I still have that qualificationChapter 23 · It still tastes sweet when you kiss itChapter 24 · He seems to have forgotten how to act cuteChapter 25 · The two unfortunate children were completely terrifiedChapter 26 · Please make yourself at home.Chapter 27 · Hello, UncleChapter 28 · Am I not your deceased husband?Chapter 29 · Don’t you love me anymore?Chapter 30 · Our home is No. 5, Qianshui RoadChapter 31 · Is he… here to keep him company?Chapter 32 · What exactly did Alpha bring me?Chapter 33 · Thanks a lot, brothers!Chapter 34 · Hi?Chapter 35 · I only let you take care of the child for one dayChapter 36 · Did you have thoughts when you ‘died’?Chapter 37 · Put a double bed in your homeChapter 38 · They both suffered heavy lossesChapter 39 · Welcome back to the Alphas’ arena.Chapter 40 · Why should I lower myself?Chapter 41 · I have learned that Colonel Lu Huai is still aliveChapter 42 · They are sensitive and vulnerableChapter 43 · He would also feel regret.Chapter 44 · When a child is quiet, they’re definitely up to somethingChapter 45 · Dad, you have such a good eye for choosing a husband!Chapter 46 · Who made it wear a colonel’s uniform?Chapter 47 · I love him very muchChapter 48 · Okay, I believe youChapter 49 · I remember you went pretty hard on him at the end.Chapter 50 · Colonel Lu, don’t be too fierceChapter 51 · To…make up for the regretChapter 52 · A perfect match!Chapter 53 · Colonel Lu, let’s get married!Chapter 54 · When will you finally learn to stop talking nonsense?Chapter 55 · My darlings, we’re homeChapter 56 · Babies, please stopChapter 57 · I’m about to enter my heat cycle, not my due dateChapter 58 · Is he complaining to his wife?Chapter 59 · The only lieChapter 60 · Colonel Lu, the babies are all crying.Chapter 61 · Dad, Colonel Lu bullied me.Chapter 62 · A large number of foreign ministersChapter 63 · Jiang Mu definitely likes handsome guys tooChapter 64 · First time bringing a partner to a major diplomatic occasionChapter 65 · You’re still as handsome as you were back thenChapter 66 · Bedtime Strategic PartnerChapter 67 · How can you be so good at threatening people?Chapter 68 · I’m waiting for youChapter 69 · I’ll stay by your side, from beginning to endChapter 70 · Can you handle Lu Chao’s… educational session for me?Chapter 71 · The First SpringChapter 72 · Extra 1Chapter 73 · Extra 2Chapter 74 · Extra 3Chapter 75 · Extra 4Chapter 76 · Extra 5Chapter 77 · Extra 6Chapter 78 · Extra 7Chapter 79 · Extra 8Chapter 80 · Extra 9