In that single breath of silence, it felt as though even his heartbeat had vanished.
This was not the illusion of a dream, nor the echo of a farewell whispered on the edge of death. This time it would not be a mistake… would it?
That voice was so close, close enough that he felt he only needed to reach out his hand to touch it.
He could almost see him now.
The young man’s silhouette lingered in the fragile boundary between lamplight and darkness, blurred by drifting snow yet still unmistakably the same as the one carved into his deepest memories.
Tall and straight, with the disciplined curve of a narrow waist and long legs framed by the severe lines of military boots.
It was Lu Huai.
It was Colonel Lu.
It was his Alpha.
It truly was not a mistake this time.
It truly, truly could not be a mistake again.
Could it?
If he took just one more step, he could reach the very body he had once touched every day during the two short months of their marriage, the body warm with life and carrying the scent he loved above all scents in the world.
Yet perhaps he had walked too long through the snow, or perhaps he had simply forgotten how to breathe.
Jiang Yun found himself completely unable to control his body.
No matter how desperately he longed for that step, no matter how fiercely his soul strained toward the man in front of him, his legs refused to move. That final distance lying between them might as well have been a chasm carved from seventeen years of time.
And the young man in the shadows remained exactly as unmoving as he was. No rush, no loss of control, no trembling voice calling his name.
No tears.
There was only a pair of eyes, once sharp as a blade and brilliant as a star, now dimmed, watching him with a quietness that made his heart twist.
Jiang Yun stared into those eyes, and a faint confusion stirred in him.
Colonel Lu, did you not just awaken from your long sleep?
Your marksmanship, your reflexes, your mind, I heard that all of them are as perfect as they once were.
But your eyes… why are they no longer as bright, as dazzling, as they used to be?
Could it be that you, like me, have also been mercilessly stripped of youth by these seventeen years?
He did not know how long the two of them stood like that, long enough for snowflakes to gather upon their dark hair and settle across their shoulders… or perhaps it was only a few breaths.
Finally, Lu Huai’s voice emerged from the shadows once more.
“I…” He spoke only one syllable before falling silent, as if he needed to prepare himself before he could continue. Yet when he finally spoke again, his tone remained calm, steady, composed. “I have learned that you have not remarried. But I still have two questions I would like to ask you. May I?”
Jiang Yun vaguely heard himself say yes. Or perhaps he had only nodded.
Then he heard Lu Huai ask, “May I ask… do you have a boyfriend now?”
For a moment, even the snowflakes seemed to pause midair, as if mirroring the stillness of a heart caught between beats.
Jiang Yun answered quietly, “No.”
Lu Huai was silent for quite a while before asking the second question. “And may I ask… is there an Alpha you are fond of?”
Jiang Yun did not know how to answer.
An Alpha he was fond of… did he have one?
“Do you have one, Jiang Yun?” Lu Huai repeated softly. “Have you fallen in love with another Alpha?”
The question was nearly the same, yet with the addition of the word another, it suddenly felt easier to answer.
“…No… ” Jiang Yun said.
Wind and snow brushed past his cloak, sounding almost like a relieved sigh.
“Then, may I conclude,” Lu Huai said, the crunch of his boots breaking the snow as he finally closed the last bit of distance between them, “That I still retain the rights.”
Rights?
Jiang Yun blinked.
Rights for what?
Before he had time to think, his wrist was caught in a firm grasp.
An irresistible force pulled him forward.
Once he confirmed, he acted. That was the Colonel Lu he knew.
No unnecessary words.
No hesitation.
Jiang Yun did not have time to utter a single word, nor even look carefully at the face he had not seen in so many years.
He was pulled straight into Lu Huai’s arms.
That distant yet overwhelmingly familiar scent enveloped him. But it had been far, far too long since he had been held like this. He no longer remembered how to adjust his posture to match the height of his Alpha.
Fortunately, Lu Huai still remembered how to match his.
Lu Huai bent down, lowered his chin to rest against Jiang Yun’s shoulder, and with his left hand gently but firmly supported the back of Jiang Yun’s head, as though afraid he would try to pull away.
And Jiang Yun could faintly feel something on Lu Huai’s ring finger.
A slight, circular ridge.
A shape his fingertips would never forget.
“Have you grown taller?” Lu Huai brushed his hair lightly. “You… you really have grown up.”
Jiang Yun had indeed grown a little.
He remembered very clearly that in the past, whenever Lu Huai carried him like this, the tip of his nose rested just below the Colonel’s shoulder.
Now it aligned almost exactly with the shoulder.
Yet some things had not changed.
As long as he breathed, he could still inhale that scent that belonged only to Lu Huai.
Back then, every time Colonel Lu returned from a mission, he would hold him exactly like this. Jiang Yun would obediently stay in his Alpha’s arms and recount everything important that had happened while they were apart.
Except for the last time.
The last time, Colonel Lu had not returned to hold him and Jiang Yun had not told him what he needed to tell.
After two answers of no, Jiang Yun suddenly understood that there was something he needed to say.
Something he should have said seventeen years ago. The most important thing of all.
“Colonel Lu,” he whispered in Lu Huai’s arms, “I… I was pregnant.”
The hand buried in his hair trembled violently.
“At that time, I was pregnant. With twins. I carried them to term.”
As he spoke, Jiang Yun’s own hands trembled as strongly as Lu Huai’s, yet his voice, by long habit, remained calm, the tone of someone reporting facts that must be told. “I gave birth to two very beautiful children for us. You know that, right? The puppet must have told you I never remarried. Did he… did he also tell you this?”
“…Yes.”
“You saw them, did you not?” Jiang Yun’s voice brightened with hope. “Through the scope, you must have seen the two children standing near me.”
Jiang Yun could not see Lu Huai’s expression. He could not guess what the always composed Colonel felt at this moment.
He could only hear the slightly unsteady voice beside his ear. “No.”
Jiang Yun froze.
No?
How could it be no?
The twins had been right beside him then. If Lu Huai had only glanced toward the people near him, he would have seen them instantly.
Jiang Yun did not waste time thinking. “It is fine. I can show you their recordings.”
He tried to pull his hand free to retrieve his communicator, but Lu Huai’s grip was too strong. He could not move even a little.
Jiang Yun had no choice but to lift his hand and push gently at Lu Huai’s chest, urgency creeping into his voice. “Please let go first, Colonel Lu.”
Lu Huai asked softly, “Why?”
Why indeed.
Why was he so desperate to show Lu Huai the children now, when there would be countless chances later?
Because….
“Colonel Lu, can you not tell?” Jiang Yun lowered his eyes, struggling to maintain the last traces of composure befitting an official of his rank. “If we do not look at the children, if we do not talk about the children… the situation will spiral out of control. And I… I do not dare lose control.”
At last, the arms holding him loosened enough that he could move.
Jiang Yun breathed out in relief.
But just as he shifted back the slightest bit, Lu Huai pulled him forward again.
This time, Lu Huai cupped Jiang Yun’s face between both hands.
“Afraid to lose control?” he murmured. “Then I will lose control with you.”
Lu Huai lowered his head.
And his lips covered Jiang Yun’s.
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Cressilia
[Translator]
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ChaptersChapter 1 · Who can compare to Colonel Lu?Chapter 2 · He should be deadChapter 3 · How were we born?Chapter 4 · That’s where Colonel died..Chapter 5 · No one knows my pheromone than Colonel LuChapter 6 · Colonel Lu’s remainsChapter 7 · Heat is approachingChapter 8 · CheckmateChapter 9 · A dream liked married lifeChapter 10 · What might be his pregnancy be like?Chapter 11 · He thought he would be the father of two childrenChapter 12 · So we just hang Colonel Lu on the wall?Chapter 13 · Finally, I have something to say to my wifeChapter 14 · Why doesn’t Colonel Lu understandChapter 15 · He doesn’t Love MeChapter 16 · You’ll see him soonChapter 17 · So casual, so carelessChapter 18 Part 1 · He.. He’s looking at meChapter 18 Part 2 · He..He’s looking at meChapter 19 · Lu Huai is still aliveChapter 20 · Wait until I bring back your zombie Alpha dadChapter 21 · Long time no see, Jiang YunChapter 22 · I still have that qualificationChapter 23 · It still tastes sweet when you kiss itChapter 24 · He seems to have forgotten how to act cuteChapter 25 · The two unfortunate children were completely terrifiedChapter 26 · Please make yourself at home.Chapter 27 · Hello, UncleChapter 28 · Am I not your deceased husband?Chapter 29 · Don’t you love me anymore?Chapter 30 · Our home is No. 5, Qianshui RoadChapter 31 · Is he… here to keep him company?Chapter 32 · What exactly did Alpha bring me?Chapter 33 · Thanks a lot, brothers!Chapter 34 · Hi?Chapter 35 · I only let you take care of the child for one dayChapter 36 · Did you have thoughts when you ‘died’?Chapter 37 · Put a double bed in your homeChapter 38 · They both suffered heavy lossesChapter 39 · Welcome back to the Alphas’ arena.Chapter 40 · Why should I lower myself?Chapter 41 · I have learned that Colonel Lu Huai is still aliveChapter 42 · They are sensitive and vulnerableChapter 43 · He would also feel regret.Chapter 44 · When a child is quiet, they’re definitely up to somethingChapter 45 · Dad, you have such a good eye for choosing a husband!Chapter 46 · Who made it wear a colonel’s uniform?Chapter 47 · I love him very muchChapter 48 · Okay, I believe youChapter 49 · I remember you went pretty hard on him at the end.Chapter 50 · Colonel Lu, don’t be too fierceChapter 51 · To…make up for the regretChapter 52 · A perfect match!Chapter 53 · Colonel Lu, let’s get married!Chapter 54 · When will you finally learn to stop talking nonsense?Chapter 55 · My darlings, we’re homeChapter 56 · Babies, please stopChapter 57 · I’m about to enter my heat cycle, not my due dateChapter 58 · Is he complaining to his wife?Chapter 59 · The only lieChapter 60 · Colonel Lu, the babies are all crying.Chapter 61 · Dad, Colonel Lu bullied me.Chapter 62 · A large number of foreign ministersChapter 63 · Jiang Mu definitely likes handsome guys tooChapter 64 · First time bringing a partner to a major diplomatic occasionChapter 65 · You’re still as handsome as you were back thenChapter 66 · Bedtime Strategic PartnerChapter 67 · How can you be so good at threatening people?Chapter 68 · I’m waiting for youChapter 69 · I’ll stay by your side, from beginning to endChapter 70 · Can you handle Lu Chao’s… educational session for me?Chapter 71 · The First SpringChapter 72 · Extra 1Chapter 73 · Extra 2Chapter 74 · Extra 3Chapter 75 · Extra 4Chapter 76 · Extra 5Chapter 77 · Extra 6Chapter 78 · Extra 7Chapter 79 · Extra 8Chapter 80 · Extra 9