The phone remained on the desk.
The screen was still illuminated, and the messages were still waiting to arrive.
Lily stared at it for moments, then turned off the screen slowly.
She was no longer able to keep looking at it.
She knew that staring at the phone would not make Adam answer, would not bring the connection back, and would not shorten the minutes of waiting.
She moved away from the desk with quiet steps.
She headed toward her university bag placed beside the closet.
The bag was arranged with care, as was her usual custom; the books placed in their positions, the notebooks lined up, and the pens inside their case.
She opened the zipper slowly.
She began shifting the books one by one, until she reached a small inner pocket she did not use often.
She inserted her hand into it.
And brought out a thin disc case.
It was transparent, and on the outer cover was a small white paper with simple handwriting written on it: “Today” She remained looking at the word for seconds.
There was no other title.
Nor a date.
Nor a name.
Only…
“Today”.
She passed her thumb gently over the word written in pen, as if recalling a memory attached to it.
Then she carried the case with both hands and headed toward the small player placed beneath the television screen in her room.
She sat on her knees before it.
She pressed the open button.
A faint mechanical sound was produced, and the player tray came out slowly.
She brought the disc out with extreme caution from its case, holding it by the edges so as not to leave any mark on it.
The room’s light reflected off its silver surface for a moment.
Then she placed it inside the player gently.
She pushed the tray inside.
The player closed slowly, and began producing that familiar faint sound while the disc rotated inside.
Lily rose.
She turned off the main lamp in the room.
Nothing remained except a faint light from the small lamp above her desk, and the blue glow emanating from the television screen.
She sat on the edge of the bed.
She gathered her legs slightly, then held the small pillow and placed it in her lap without feeling it.
The start screen appeared.
A black background.
Then the image began forming gradually.
The changing light reflected on her face.
Her eyes were fixed on the screen from the first moment.
She did not stretch her hand to her phone.
She did not look at it.
She left it on the desk as it was, as if trying to grant herself a brief respite from waiting.
All she wanted at that moment was to occupy her mind with something else, even if for minutes.
Silence prevailed in the room.
Nothing could be heard except the quiet sound of the player, and the sound of the movie as it began.
Lily sat almost motionless.
Her face illuminated by the screen’s light.
Her breathing began recovering something of its regularity.
Yet every now and then…
Her eyes moved unintentionally toward the desk, where the phone lay motionless.
Then they returned to the screen once more.
She was trying to focus on the movie.
To follow what was taking place before her.
However, a part of her mind remained suspended somewhere else.
With the messages that had not arrived.
With the phone that had not answered.
And with the question that kept repeating silently within her…
Would the phone ring before this movie ended?
Minutes passed while she tried to focus on the movie.
The changing light emitted from the screen was filling the room, while everything else remained still.
But Lily’s mind was not there.
The image was moving before her.
The sounds changing.
The scenes succeeding one another.
As for her…
She could not remember even what happened in the last five minutes of the movie.
All that was revolving in her head was one question.
Did Adam reply?
Finally, she could not bear it.
She took the remote control, and pressed the pause button.
The image froze on the screen.
Silence prevailed.
She rose quickly from above the bed.
She headed to the desk with swift steps, and reached her hand toward the phone.
She illuminated the screen.
No notification.
No message.
No call.
She opened the conversation.
The messages were as they were.
Still waiting.
They had not arrived.
She remained looking at them for long seconds, then pressed the power button once more and returned the phone to its place.
She returned to the bed.
She restarted the movie.
She tried this time to force herself to focus.
She took a deep breath.
And pressed the pillow to her chest.
“Just watch the movie…” She said it to herself silently.
“If Adam is going to answer, he will answer whether you look at the phone or not.” The movie started anew.
She tried following the dialogue.
But she could not.
She was looking at the screen…
Then her eyes moved automatically to the phone.
Then returned.
Then to the phone once more.
It was happening without her feeling it.
As if a part of her mind refused to move away from it.
Other minutes passed.
She could no longer bear it.
She paused the movie a second time.
She rose.
She headed to the phone.
She illuminated the screen quickly.
Nothing.
She opened the network settings.
Then closed them.
She opened the conversation.
Closed it.
Opened it once more.
She stared at the messages.
As if waiting for the grey mark to turn into a delivery mark in the very next moment.
But nothing changed.
She sighed with difficulty.
She returned the phone to its place.
She went back to the bed.
And turned on the movie anew.
She tried to continue from the place where she had stopped.
But she realized after minutes that she had understood nothing.
The characters were speaking.
And she was not hearing.
The events were progressing.
And she was not following.
All she was hearing inside her head was the sound of her thoughts.
Why is his phone off?
Did he return home?
Did an emergency happen to him?
Is he okay?
She bit her lower lip without paying attention.
Then…
She paused the movie a third time.
She rose faster than the previous times.
She went to the phone.
She held it with both hands.
She raised the screen.
Nothing.
No message.
No call.
No notification.
She felt a small disappointment, but she did not give up.
She pressed Adam’s name.
She tried to call.
She placed the phone to her ear.
She waited.
Then…
The attempt ended as all previous attempts had ended.
She moved the phone away from her ear slowly.
She closed her eyes.
And returned the phone to the desk.
She went back once more to the bed.
She turned on the movie.
This time not even two minutes passed.
Then she found herself staring at the phone anew.
The screen was black.
Motionless.
Only a few meters away from her.
Yet she felt as if it were calling her.
She resisted.
She tried not to get up.
Another thirty seconds passed.
Then she surrendered.
She paused the movie for the fourth time.
She rose.
She went to the desk.
She illuminated the phone.
Nothing.
She turned off the screen.
Then reopened it after only one second.
As if she did not trust what she had seen.
Perhaps the notification was delayed.
Perhaps she did not notice.
Perhaps…
But the result remained as it was.
Nothing.
This movement began repeating unconsciously.
Turning on the movie.
Two minutes.
Pausing.
Going to the phone.
Checking the messages.
Returning.
Turning on the movie.
Then standing up anew.
The room was filling with interrupted sounds.
The movie’s sound begins.
Then stops.
The sound of the remote control.
Her swift steps over the floor.
The sound of the phone when its screen illuminates.
Then everything returns to silence.
After a period, the movie remained paused on one of the scenes.
Lily no longer restarted it directly.
She stood before the desk with the phone in her hands.
She stared at the screen for a long period.
Then she raised her gaze toward the television.
Then returned to the phone.
She felt that time was moving extremely slowly.
Every minute passing seemed longer than an hour.
She sat finally on the chair before the desk.
She placed the phone before her.
And kept the conversation screen open.
She no longer possessed the ability to follow the movie.
She no longer even knew where it had stopped.
All her focus narrowed down to that silent conversation.
Messages sent…
But they had not arrived.
And a single question kept repeating within her without pause: Where are you, Adam?