Heat surged from his ears throughout his entire body; in a daze, someone’s heart skipped a beat.
The darkness amplified every sensation. Shi Zhi was surrounded by a scent belonging to Fu Yuchu—one that felt both familiar and strangely foreign. Amidst his erratic heartbeat, he could feel Fu Yuchu drawing closer.
The aroma of coffee grew richer, and Fu Yuchu’s eyes shimmered in the dark.
Shi Zhi held his breath, his hands at his sides clenching and then relaxing.
After an indeterminate amount of time—perhaps a few seconds, perhaps ten—the other man’s presence withdrew. Shi Zhi blinked.
“Go inside.” Fu Yuchu tapped the wall, and the voice-activated light flickered on in response.
“You…”
Shi Zhi’s eyes were filled with apprehension and confusion. Fu Yuchu didn’t want to hear any words of rejection.
“Just teasing you.” Fu Yuchu lightly flicked Shi Zhi’s forehead. Leaving him standing there in a daze, he turned to walk away, tossing back a restrained, “Goodnight. Don’t stay up late.”
Shi Zhi stood leaning against the doorframe for a long time, only snapping back to reality when the elevator opened again and the young couple from across the hall walked out, looking at him with surprise.
Closing the door, he couldn’t help but raise a hand to touch the spot on his forehead where he had been flicked. Amidst the thundering of his heart, an inexplicable thought surfaced—
That night, they didn’t kiss.
Shi Zhi did not sleep well that night.
The first half of the night was spent in insomnia, and the second half in nightmares.
He dreamed of the rainy night his parents died in a car accident; he dreamed of the sun-drenched university campus; and he dreamed of Xu Yining, who had been injured during a sketching trip, snarling at him: “Shi Zhi, do you think you’re any better? We’re all lower animals driven by desire. What makes you so noble?”
He heard himself repeatedly asking: “Are sex and love separate? Can they really be separated?”
“What do you think?” In his confusion, he saw Fu Yuchu with an unreadable expression.
Shi Zhi woke up with a start, gasping for air. Then, he heard the doorbell.
“This is…” Shi Zhi looked at the restaurant owner from the place Fu Yuchu had taken him to yesterday. The man was standing at the door holding two bags, leaving Shi Zhi somewhat bewildered.
“Xiao Fu said you’re alone and have no one to cook for you, so he asked me to make a delivery.” The owner handed over the bags with a smile. “I didn’t know your tastes, so I prepared things based on yesterday. If there’s anything else you want to eat, just let me know, and I’ll send it over next time.”
Shi Zhi took the bags blankly, instinctively refusing, “No need, I can just order takeout…”
“Takeout isn’t as healthy as home-cooked meals. If nothing else, our ingredients are guaranteed to be fresh. Anyway, Xiao Fu has already booked this for half a month. If you have a problem, take it up with him.”
Shi Zhi laid out the food containers one by one on the dining table. He opened his phone and found Fu Yuchu’s WeChat profile. His fingertips hovered over the screen for a long time; he didn’t know what to say. Just as he was hesitating, a new message appeared—
CH: Writing an essay?
Shi: ?
CH: “The other party is typing” has been showing for several minutes. Do you have a testimonial to share?
Shi Zhi: “…”
He clearly felt that something had changed. He looked at the broken figurine in the foyer and the painting that didn’t match the room’s style, feeling a sense of internal release.
CH: Did you receive the meal?
Shi: Mm.
CH: Anything not to your taste?
Shi: No.
Shi: You don’t need to send them anymore.
CH: Why?
Why?
Shi Zhi hadn’t asked why he sent them, yet Fu Yuchu turned it around to ask why he shouldn’t.
Shi Zhi stared at the phone, unsure how to reply.
CH: Eating takeout often is bad for your health.
Shi: I can cook for myself.
CH: You don’t know how.
Shi Zhi pouted: How would you know?
CH: I just know.
Shi Zhi took a deep breath. Just as he was about to type, Fu Yuchu initiated a voice call. Shi Zhi hesitated for a few seconds before answering.
“Just woke up?” Fu Yuchu’s voice on the phone was somewhat deep.
Shi Zhi gave a soft “Mm.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t have an appetite in the morning, so I had the owner make something light. What do you want for dinner?”
Shi Zhi didn’t answer. After a moment, he called out: “Fu Yuchu.”
“Mm, what is it?”
“I just broke up.”
“I know.” Fu Yuchu paused for a second before saying, “Happy Breakup?”
Shi Zhi: “…What on earth.”
“There are still many entanglements between Xu Yining and me. He’s been hiding and refusing to communicate. The small building my parents left me is still in his hands and he won’t return it. I’m currently… I…”
“Shi Zhi.” Fu Yuchu didn’t want to hear the rest and interrupted his incoherent rambling. He sighed, “I’m just worried you won’t eat properly. Your health is too poor.”
Shi Zhi opened his mouth: “I…”
“If you eventually decide to sue, let Senior Xiang handle your case, okay?”
Shi Zhi was stunned. “Why?”
There was no sound from the other side for a long time. Just as Shi Zhi thought he hadn’t heard and was about to ask again, he heard Fu Yuchu chuckle softly. “Never mind, it’s too early for that. We’ll talk when you’re ready to sue.”
Shi Zhi was preoccupied and couldn’t help pressing: “Why let Lawyer Xiang handle it?”
“No reason. If you must ask, just consider it that I can’t remain rational and objective when it comes to you.”
Shi Zhi: “…”
That feeling of panic from last night returned. Shi Zhi bit his lip and remained silent.
“It’s raining outside.”
“Huh?” The change in topic was so abrupt that Shi Zhi didn’t react immediately. “What about it?”
“The temperature drops when it rains. If you don’t eat soon, the food will get cold.”
Shi Zhi: “…”
“It won’t happen that fast…”
Fu Yuchu said with a laugh, “Hurry and eat. I have work to do.”
Shi Zhi looked at the darkened phone screen. In the end, he didn’t ask the question in his heart. The answer was vaguely hidden in the things left unsaid; Fu Yuchu didn’t want to say it, and Shi Zhi didn’t dare to ask.
The morning porridge emitted an inviting fragrance. Shi Zhi lowered his head and began to eat.
In early May, Shi Zhi visited Grandpa Xu again, this time alone.
Since the argument with Xu Yining, the man had never appeared again. The daily WeChat messages that used to pretend everything was fine had vanished from Shi Zhi’s life, just like Xu Yining himself.
Sometimes Shi Zhi felt dazed, wondering if Xu Yining had ever truly existed in his life—if the arguments that tore off the masks and the ugly betrayals in their relationship had actually happened.
Yet whenever he had such doubts, the meals delivered on time every day and Fu Yuchu’s cryptic messages reminded him that everything was real.
The confrontation had stripped away the last of the pretenses. When Shi Zhi arrived at the nursing home this time, Xu Yining’s parents didn’t even give him a second glance. Only Xu Yijing, who was home for the holidays, greeted him with red-rimmed eyes.
“Brother Shi Zhi, will you… will you still come in the future?”
Looking at the hesitant young girl, Shi Zhi smiled and said, “Yes, I will come often to see Grandpa.”
“But… but Grandpa’s health isn’t very good…”
Shi Zhi opened his mouth but didn’t say anything.
“If you have any conscience left, don’t say anything to upset the elderly man. Let him live out his remaining time in peace,” Wang Suzhen snapped at him with a long face before he entered the room.
Shi Zhi didn’t argue. He nodded and pushed open the door.
Grandpa Xu was lying in bed. Although it had only been half a month since they last met, it felt as if years had passed. Like a falling leaf finally returning to its roots, the old man in the bed was quietly waiting for his time to stop.
Shi Zhi gave himself a mental slap. He turned off his recording device, stuffed his phone into his pocket, and walked to the bedside. As soon as he spoke, his eyes turned red. “Grandpa.”
“Why did you come today?” Grandpa Xu’s voice was weary and weak.
Shi Zhi sat by the bed and took the old man’s hand. “I missed you, so I came to see you.”
“Good child.” Grandpa Xu glanced behind Shi Zhi. Seeing no one there, he sighed. “I’ve made things hard for you.”
“Grandpa…”
Grandpa Xu waved his hand. “Xiao Zhi, Grandpa has failed you.”
“That’s not true, Grandpa. Don’t say that.”
Grandpa Xu looked at Shi Zhi with a hollow gaze. “Yining… he wasn’t like this before. He was always very obedient, very good. When your grandmother was still here and we lived in the countryside, Yining would come to stay with us during winter and summer breaks. There was a girl next door whose husband was having an affair; they fought every few days. Back then, Yining told me and your grandmother with such hatred that men who cheat are no good. He said he would find a beautiful wife and be like me and your grandmother—treating only one person well for a lifetime.”
Shi Zhi’s eyes stung. He gritted his teeth and remained silent.
“I don’t know when it started, but he changed.” Grandpa Xu squeezed Shi Zhi’s hand, his emotions becoming agitated. “Xiao Zhi, his mother was too strict with him. She ruined him. He wasn’t allowed to do anything, so he wanted to try everything. From the moment he brought you before me, I knew he had been ruined by that control. But I had no choice. I’m his grandfather; I had to help him. I had to help him!”
“Grandpa, I…”
“Xiao Zhi.” Grandpa Xu’s eyes were full of regret. “Grandpa knows you’re a good child. I knew from the first time I saw you that you were soft-hearted. I had to help Yining; I had to help him tie you down.”
Shi Zhi lowered his head, his tears splashing onto the old man’s hand.
Grandpa Xu coughed a few times, gasping for breath. “If it weren’t for me… if it weren’t because of me, you wouldn’t have given the building to Yining, and he wouldn’t have had the chance to bully you. Grandpa was wrong. Grandpa has failed you.”
Shi Zhi closed his eyes and said, “No, Grandpa, you haven’t failed me. I have to thank you. Thank you for allowing me to accompany my parents on their final journey. I…”
“You don’t need to say more.” Grandpa Xu sighed. “I know everything. Yining did wrong; you don’t have to forgive him. As for the ten million the family borrowed from you, I will find a way. But Yining is stubborn… regarding the Xizhu small building, Grandpa is truly out of options…”
Shi Zhi choked out, “Grandpa, I’m sorry. You told me to yield to him, but I can’t do it. I can’t yield to him, I have no way to yield to him. I just can’t, Grandpa.”
“I know, I know. Grandpa was being an old fool. Just act as if I never said those words that day. From now on, live your life well. You don’t have to yield to anyone.”
With red eyes, Shi Zhi walked out of Grandpa Xu’s room. Xu Yijing chased after him. “Brother Shi Zhi, are you leaving?”
“Mm.”
“Will I… can I still look for you in the future?”
Shi Zhi patted Xu Yijing’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything and left alone.
After Shi Zhi left, Grandpa Xu called Wang Suzhen and the rest of the family of three into the room.