Early morning and evening self-study sessions at school were restricted exclusively to senior high school students, but plenty of students from other grades still arrived early or stayed late after classes to get some extra reading done.
The newly transferred Fei Qinan immediately became the crown jewel of this group, arriving first in the class and leaving last. When the results for the semester’s first grade-wide monthly exam were released, Fei Qinan secured first place in his class, though not quite the top spot in the entire grade, yet his expression still carried a hint of vexation.
Wasn’t he being a bit too arrogant? He could easily coast by on his good looks alone, so why work this hard?
The study commissioner, Gan Tingting, had placed third this time. She looked at Fei Qinan with undisguised adoration; the only boys in the class who outperformed her were him and the class monitor, Wang Hao. What’s more, compared to Wang Hao’s acne-scarred face, Fei Qinan’s looks were on an entirely different dimension.
Bashfully stepping up to Fei Qinan’s desk, she gently tapped the final math problem on her exam paper with a slender finger, twirled a strand of sleek black hair, and said, “Fei Qinan, I wanted to see how you solved this problem. My method was a bit too convoluted.”
“You can take it and look,” Fei Qinan replied, handing her the paper.
“Um… why don’t you explain it to me?” Gan Tingting felt a touch of frustration at his utter cluelessness about romance.
“I don’t know how to explain things.”
“Then tell me about your exam strategies, won’t you? Since you scored so well, you must have some great study methods, right?” Gan Tingting pressed on.
“Do more problems,” Fei Qinan answered, remaining entirely aloof.
“Do you usually mark key points when you study? Can I borrow your textbook later to look at your notes?”
“I don’t have that habit.”
“Well, do you like reading celebrity biographies? I like….” Before she could finish, she was rudely interrupted.
“I don’t know what the hell you like, but I know that if you dare waste another damn word and disturb my sleep, see if I don’t crush you!” Qi Shun lifted a face still bearing a red mark from sleeping and glared at the woman who had interrupted his sweet slumber.
Startled and humiliated by the roar, Gan Tingting’s eyes turned red with grievance as she fled the classroom. No one else dared to make a sound.
At that moment, Fei Qinan actually felt a surge of gratitude toward the cold-faced grim reaper sitting behind him. He could finally read in peace.
A few days later, the Chinese teacher and head teacher, Wu Silai, announced in class that registration was opening for the S City “Middle School Dream Cup Essay Competition.” Each class would be allocated two slots for the preliminary school-level contest, and the top three winners would go on to represent the school in the official competition.
The head teacher instructed Wang Hao and Fei Qinan to participate in the school preliminaries. There were three essay prompts available, and Fei Qinan chose How Can One Live Without Dreams?
That evening in his room, he muttered to himself, “Without dreams… how can one live?” The pen in his hand tapped rhythmically against the blank manuscript paper. As his thoughts grew clearer, he immediately began to write.
In less than half an hour, he had smoothly churned out over a thousand words, revising it a few times until he was entirely satisfied.
Writing was a form of enjoyment to him; his thoughts, values, and inner world could be expressed freely through ink and paper. Although his parents usually grumbled about him spending so much time on extracurricular reading, they let it slide since it supposedly improved his writing skills.
At that moment, his mother, Song Xiaomei, pushed the door open, setting a glass of milk on his desk. “Xiaonand, what are you doing?”
“Nothing much.”
“What’s that in your hand? Give it here.” She extended her hand, her tone brooking no refusal.
Handing his essay over to his mother, Fei Qinan kept his head down. During the brief moments while she read the piece, the room fell chillingly silent.
“What is the meaning of this article? Instead of properly reviewing your schoolwork at night, you’re messing around with this? Your father and I put so much effort into transferring you to Deshun, do you even want to take the college entrance exams or not?!” Song Xiaomei threw the essay right into Fei Qinan’s face.
“The head teacher asked me to write this for the school essay competition. If I make the top three, I can enter the official city-wide competition,” Fei Qinan explained.
“Oh? Well, since it’s for a competition, prepare properly then. The milk is still warm, drink it.” Song Xiaomei’s tone regained a trace of warmth.
“Alright…”
After his mother left, Fei Qinan picked up the essay from the floor. A look of resentment and helplessness flashed through his eyes, though he felt powerless to change anything.
In a dimly lit, raucous nightclub bathed in neon lights, Qi Shun was squandering his youth alongside his close friend Song Rui and a few other companions.
“Hey, Shun, we haven’t raced bikes in ages. Want to go take a few spins later?” Song Rui took a sip of his beer, his suggestion instantly drawing enthusiastic cheers from the group.
“Sure,” Qi Shun replied blandly. He lounged lazily against the sofa, watching the young men and women bobbing their heads in the dance floor, every one of their faces radiating a profound sense of emptiness.
“What’s wrong? Not in a high mood today?” Song Rui noticed his lack of enthusiasm.
“It’s fine. Let’s go, I’m done drinking.” Qi Shun tossed his empty glass aside and walked out of the nightclub, the rest of the crew trailing behind him.
“Shun, have you ever tested this bike against anyone else yet?” a tall friend asked.
“Nah, first time today. Same old route.” Walking up to his newly purchased MTT turbine motorcycle, Qi Shun took the helmet handed to him by Song Rui and swung his leg over.
“Hey, This machine is way wilder than your previous ones, remember to take it easy” The gas turbine engine on this model was normally used in helicopters; its speed and sheer power were terrifyingly intense.
Qi Shun nodded and kicked the engine to life. Three other bikes beside him also revved up, all of them poised and ready for a thrilling, adrenaline-fueled ride.
At a single command, amid a deafening roar, the motorcycles shot forward like arrows, vanishing into the distance before anyone could even blink.
Accompanied by a low, throbbing growl, Qi Shun skillfully maneuvered around passing vehicles on the road, weaving through traffic and quickly leaving the others far behind.
Ordinary drivers on the lane were left covered in cold sweat by such reckless overtaking and death-defying gameplay.
Qi Shun heard only the fierce howling of the wind rushing past his ears. Slowly, the blood in his veins began to boil in sync with the velocity.
He was still alive. Yes, he was still alive, at least right now, he could feel his own breathing, his heartbeat, and the sheer euphoria of the thrill!
The next day, after Fei Qinan submitted his essay, he glanced over at Qi Shun, who was buried in sleep, upon returning to his seat, letting out a soft sigh inwardly.
Perhaps for someone like him, living without dreams didn’t change a thing.
The results of the school preliminaries were announced shortly after. Fei Qinan placed fifth. The head teacher comforted him and Wang Hao, telling them not to be discouraged since their writing was excellent, but there was always someone better out there, which served as a reminder to work even harder.
All the essays submitted for the preliminaries were posted on the school bulletin board, drawing large crowds of students to stop and read them after class.
After the final bell, Qi Shun walked over to the article written by Fei Qinan. He silently read through it, turned away, and let out a cold laugh.
“Hah! Living without dreams is like a lowly ant just struggling to survive, meaning you haven’t truly ‘lived’ at all? Tsk, what the hell does he know!”