I’ll Only Teach You Once, Sharkie!
1: Chapter 1: Watch and Learn, Ya Hear!
I’ll Only Teach You Once, Sharkie!
“Gwaaah!
I—I’m not human anymore, ya hear!” In the peaceful and quiet morning of New Eridu, a voice full of deep-seated condemnation rang out from a certain street block.
“Th-These!
These fluffy ears!” “This lush, soft tail!” “Indecent!
Utterly indecent, gwaaah!” Inside the room, a young man was sternly delivering his denunciation, all while stroking his own tail with a twisted grin.
“Ah, no good, it’s a little too sensitive.” A faint flush on his face, the young man reluctantly swept his tail behind him.
“Wait, no!!” His white fox ears gave a violent twitch.
“Is this really the time to be focusing on that?!” The young man smacked his own head with a look of chagrin.
Then he parted his thick, fluffy white hair, and sure enough!
His human ears were gone.
“Ah, that’s better.
I knew there was no way I’d have two sets of ears.” The young man adopted the serene pose of a sage, then plopped down onto a beanbag chair.
He stretched lazily and instinctively picked up the phone by the bedside.
“Hmm~ huh?
Since when did I buy a beanbag chai—” Before he could finish, a wave of intense drowsiness swept over his entire body.
Ah, to be young is to fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow.
In his haze, he felt as if someone was in his mind, calling his name over and over again.
“Mo…
Bu…
Yuan.” “Mo…” “Oi, you damn well better not still be asleep!
Tch, why am I cursing at myself.
Whatever.
Like I don’t know my own bad habits.” “Mo Buyuan!” The voice felt far away yet impossibly close, repeating endlessly.
Mo Buyuan just felt groggy.
In the end, he couldn’t remember a thing.
“Inheritance!!” That last word was exceptionally clear.
Instantly, a chill shot down his spine.
Wave after wave of memories — somehow his own and yet strangely foreign — surged forth continuously.
With a soft groan, Buyuan opened his eyes.
Those pale golden, vertical pupils gave a faint quiver.
Behind him, his tail was wagging so fast it practically blurred into a sieve.
“So you’re telling me I got dragged into Zenless Zone Zero?” Buyuan held his forehead somewhat wearily.
Through the memories, he more or less grasped his situation.
Before his main consciousness had recovered, he’d essentially just been drifting through life in a daze.
He hadn’t even gone to school once.
Every day was just eat, sleep, eat, sleep.
If it weren’t for the fact that Thiren physiques were generally pretty sturdy, he wouldn’t have this rather lean and slender frame right now.
He’d be a round, roly-poly fox shut-in.
He picked up the phone that had previously slipped from his hand and checked the time.
“Hm, only 6:24.” Buyuan stretched once more, got up, opened the wardrobe, grabbed a black hoodie and a pair of trousers, and headed into the bathroom.
What’s that?
Why a black hoodie, you ask?
Well, obviously because when you’re on standby mode you’re basically a pure NPC.
No way you’d be picking out clothes.
After a bit of tidying up, Buyuan examined himself in the mirror.
“Apart from the Thiren traits, nothing’s really changed.” He tied his messy, fluffy medium-length hair into a small ponytail, securing it with a red cord.
(Roughly imagine Jing Yuan’s look.) “New Eridu!
Here I mother-effin’ come~!” Buyuan pushed open the door to his room.
His little nest was on the second floor of a Bangboo modification shop.
Heading downstairs, he saw that the shop was already open.
Buyuan raised a hand in greeting.
“Yo!
Old man Enzo, you’re up early.” “Yeah, mornin’…
what the hell.” Uncle Enzo had just returned the greeting when his face twisted into a “seen a ghost” expression, though it was quickly masked by a smile.
Buyuan naturally knew exactly what was going on.
After the greeting, he just headed off towards the metro station.
Left behind was Uncle Enzo, now seriously doubting whether he was still half-asleep.
Buyuan’s memories recalled with perfect clarity: when he’d first moved here, the brother-sister video tape duo hadn’t arrived yet, and it was Uncle Enzo who had helped him with his luggage.
The folks on Sixth Street were warm and good-natured.
Everyone had been very friendly to him, the new neighbor.
But back then, he’d been a pure NPC.
Aside from stiffly saying thanks, he only went out once every ten days, running on super energy-saving mode.
Clearly, it hadn’t been ten days yet, and Uncle Enzo was surprised to see this NPC making an appearance.
Adding in the sudden greeting, it was evidently a bit startling.
The feeling was kind of like seeing a pod person who, after some study, had actually learned how to interact like a human being.
The morning metro station was incredibly crowded.
Clearly, New Eridu had no shortage of corporate drones.
Squished among the packed commuters on the train, he suddenly found himself missing the NPC life just a little.
Hopelessly directionless as ever, Buyuan struggled to follow the GPS.
Finally, after much difficulty, he arrived at the school.
Watching the youthful boys and girls brimming with energy, Buyuan at last felt the sensation of truly being alive.
“Look, look, that handsome guy!
How come I’ve never seen him before?” “A fox Thiren?
How do I not remember him at all?” “Is he a transfer student?!
Those fluffy ears and that tail!
I just wanna bury my face in them and sniff so hard.” Listening to the murmurs around him, Buyuan — who had been focused on finding his classroom — suddenly stiffened, his expression growing a touch wary.
After all, he’d already tested his tail’s sensitivity level this morning.
The tail that had been swishing about freely now straightened out, rigid as a board.
Finally, perseverance pays off for the persistent fox.
He checked the text on his phone — a message just four months short of being a full year old.
It contained his class assignment and seat number.
As he slid open the classroom’s back door, the classmates who’d been chatting and messing around turned to look with some puzzlement.
Buyuan’s expression was exceptionally calm, but his constantly swaying tail betrayed his restlessness.
Without a word, he made his way to the seat indicated in the text and sat down.
Turning his head, he glanced at Ellen, who was sitting beside him and hadn’t quite snapped out of it yet.
Buyuan decided to— A.
Greet her enthusiastically.
B.
Introduce himself with cool aloofness.
C.
Stand up and loudly declare, “I’m a moron!
Everyone, eyes on me!” D.
Have a social anxiety attack and trigger the passive skill: “Being young sure is great.” Ding-dong~ Clearly, there was no need to choose.
Buyuan visibly breathed a sigh of relief and, with perfect composure, stroked the surface of his desk.
Crap.
He’d never shown up at the start of term.
He had no textbooks.
“Hi there!
Are you a transfer student?
Or are you that legendary student who’s been skipping class since the start of the semester?” A blonde girl suddenly popped up from the seat in front of him, looking at Buyuan with an excited expression.
“Ah!
Ahaha, I guess I’m the latter?
Though it’s not exactly skipping since I never even registered for school in the first place.” Buyuan scratched his hair a little awkwardly.
“I had some family matters I hadn’t dealt with until just now, when things finally got back on track.” “Ohh~ I see, ehehe.” “Nom Nom Shark…
hey, Ellen~ Your mysterious desk mate has arrived.” Ruby wiggled her dainty eyebrows at the listless Ellen.
Buyuan already knew Ellen’s temperament — aside from Ruby, she only had about three friends at school — so he decided to take the initiative.
“Hello, my name’s Mo Buyuan.
Just call me Buyuan.
Nice to meet you both.” Buyuan tilted his head to glance at Ruby, then turned to look at Ellen.
“I’m Ruby!
Nice to meet you, new classmate.” Ruby flashed a brilliant smile.
“Ellen Joe.” Ellen responded listlessly.
Buyuan was about to say something more when he saw a teacher enter the classroom.
Then he watched as the teacher first looked at him, a flash of surprise crossing their eyes, before offering him a smile.
“Ruby!
How many times have I told you?!
Even if a classmate hasn’t shown up, you can’t just switch seats as you please!
Go back to your spot this instant.” “Ehehe.” Ruby giggled and scurried off, settling in beside a black-haired girl with glasses.
The teacher didn’t introduce Buyuan, nor did they dwell on why he’d been absent for so long.
Because this was New Eridu.
This was a world eroded by Hollows.
People like him, who’d taken a devastating blow and couldn’t pick themselves back up, were far from rare.
The teacher clearly assumed he had only just emerged from the pain of losing both parents.
Buyuan didn’t mind.
In fact, a teacher like this was very agreeable to him.
He really wasn’t good at giving self-introductions in front of a crowd.
Just then, a textbook on Hollow Disaster Theory was nudged over from beside him.
A moment later, Ellen’s voice followed.
“If you don’t have a textbook, just use mine for now.
I won’t need it.” After speaking, Ellen laid her head down on the desk and closed her eyes.
Her long shark tail, like Buyuan’s own, curled over onto her lap.
You could tell that having no empty space to rest her tail was something Ellen found a bit uncomfortable.
Watching Ellen flip from one side to the other every few moments, Buyuan realized: she had insomnia!
To think she’d have insomnia at a time like this.
Sharkie Ellen, you hopeless creature.
Buyuan knew this was no time to strike up a conversation.
He opened the Hollow Disaster Theory textbook.
In an instant, countless equations accompanied by geometric figures emerged.
The stars of the cosmos and the Milky Way swirled around him endlessly.
He slammed the textbook shut.
Buyuan’s previously dazed eyes finally regained clarity.
He stared at the textbook in his hands with utter disbelief.
This thing was an even rarer treasure than English class!
It only took one minute, and he was absolutely guaranteed to be out cold.
Buyuan discreetly nudged the textbook back, the corner of the book poking Ellen’s arm.
“Maybe you could take a look at this.
I think it works pretty well for treating insomnia.” Buyuan’s voice was very soft, since class was in session.
“Hm?” Ellen turned her face towards him with a look of surprise.
“You don’t need it?” She was puzzled.
This guy had missed over half a semester’s worth of classes.
“Nope.
I can fall asleep just fine on my own.” Clearly, Buyuan’s understanding was operating on a higher plane.
Ha!
Watch and learn, Sharkie Ellen!
I’ll only teach you once!
A long silence followed.
Ellen’s gaze grew a little strange, but Buyuan, who had already laid his head down, couldn’t see it.
As the gently swaying tail cradled in his arms finally settled down, the two ears atop his head gave a slight droop.
Ellen’s eyes instantly went wide!
“How impressive.” At the front of the classroom, the piece of chalk in the teacher’s hand quietly snapped in two.
The faint twitching at the corner of their mouth conveyed their inner state perfectly.
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