[003 Don’t worry, just hold hands discreetly—don’t let anyone see.]
The two of them hurried to the hospital.
It was nearly 9 o’clock in the evening, yet the ward block was still bustling. There were doctors making their rounds and relatives of patients chatting amongst themselves.
Zhang Zhang sat alone on a chair in the corridor, wiping away her tears.
Zhuang Yiyi had already learnt the full details of Qian Yi’s suicide attempt from the head nurse. She crouched down in front of Zhang Zhang. “There, there. Stop crying. Even if you hadn’t told him, his wife isn’t answering the hospital phone. He must realise himself that it’s been more than half a day since he was admitted. If his wife had wanted to come, she would have been here the moment he was admitted.”
Zhang Zhang slowly raised her head; she had been crying for quite some time, and her face was streaked with tears. Zhuang Yiyi fumbled in her pocket, then a packet of tissues was handed to her from the side. She glanced up at Chen Ding, who was standing nearby, took the tissues, and handed them to Zhang Zhang.
“Dr Zhuang, I’m sorry,” said Zhang Zhang, clutching the tissues tightly.
Zhuang Yiyi stood up and said gently, “You should go to work now.”
Once Zhang Zhang had left, Zhuang Yiyi turned to Chen Ding and said, “I can’t get through to Zhang Hongya. Could you arrange a meeting with her for me? I’d like to have a chat with her.” Zhang Hongya was Qian Yi’s wife.
Chen Ding replied, “Actually, if I go to see her, it’ll be more effective than if you do. She doesn’t want to take calls from the hospital, and consequently, she doesn’t want to meet with his attending physician either.”
“You probably don’t want to get involved in this.”
“That’s right. If I help out this once, there might be a next time. Besides, when it comes to matters of the heart, there’s no right or wrong. One problem can lead to countless others; there’s no resolution, only endless, tangled worries.” He changed the subject. “But—”
Chen Ding smiled at her, waiting for her to say those words.
Chen Ding’s sly smile was too bright; Zhuang Yiyi averted her gaze. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.” Chen Ding slipped one hand into his pocket, a lazy smile spreading across his face. “You are, after all, my…”
The word ‘wife’ remained unsaid. Chen Ding spotted Yao Mu.
Chen Ding gave a slight nod, and Yao Mu nodded back gently.
Yao Mu stepped closer and asked, “What’s happened? Weren’t you supposed to be resting tonight?”
Zhuang Yiyi explained, “Sister Zhao rang me, saying Qian Yi had attempted suicide, so I rushed over.”
“Why would he suddenly attempt suicide?”
“When Zhang Zhang was changing his medication, he accidentally let slip that his wife didn’t want to come. He’s been resuscitated now, so I think we should leave things as they are for the next couple of days and wait until his wife arrives before making further arrangements.”
“Alright. Let him have some peace and quiet for the next couple of days. But how are you going to get his wife here? Why not contact his parents first to find out the situation, and have them get in touch with his wife?”
“Chen Ding is Qian Yi’s lawyer. He’ll help.”
Yao Mu glanced at Chen Ding in surprise. “What a coincidence.”
Chen Ding smiled. “I didn’t expect it either.”
“Dr Zhuang, it’s late. I’ll be off now. Shall I give you a lift?”
Zhuang Yiyi understood the implication in Chen Ding’s words. “No, thank you. You go home first. I’ve still got a few things to sort out here.”
Chen Ding glanced at Yao Mu. “Right. I’ll be off then.”
The next day, Qian Yi’s wife didn’t show up. As for Qian Yi, he was insisting on being discharged. Zhang Zhang stood in his way, telling him that his condition was still unstable and the hospital wouldn’t agree to his discharge. But Zhang Zhang’s strength was no match for that of a grown man.
Just as Qian Yi was about to burst out of the ward, Zhuang Yiyi blocked the doorway. “Do you want to see your wife?”
Qian Yi, who had been agitated, suddenly calmed down, and a look of despondency and despair crept across his face. “She doesn’t want to see me. She wants a divorce… We can’t get divorced. I love her so much… I have to go find her… I have to go find her…”
Zhuang Yiyi was shoved aside by him and bumped into the doorframe. “She’ll be here tomorrow.”
Qian Yi, who had already stepped through the doorway, stopped instantly and turned slowly. Zhuang Yiyi looked at him. “Those were Chen Ding’s words.”
The following morning, Qian Yi’s wife, Zhang Hongya, arrived at the hospital—alone.
After receiving a call from Chen Ding, Zhuang Yiyi intercepted her at the door to Qian Yi’s ward.
Zhang Hongya looked at the doctor who had suddenly appeared before her with surprise.
“Hello, I’m Zhuang Yiyi, Qian Yi’s attending physician.” Noticing Zhang Hongya’s nervous expression as she pressed her lips together, Zhuang Yiyi smiled gently. “I know you’re in the process of divorcing Qian Yi, and I won’t force you to go in and see him. However, as a doctor, I must understand the relevant circumstances. Would you be willing to do me a favour and have a chat with me?”
In the empty conference room. Guided by Zhuang Yiyi, Zhang Hongya recounted the story of how she and Qian Yi had met, fallen in love and married.
They both worked at the same company, having met during a training session, and subsequently crossed paths on several occasions whilst working.
Zhang Hongya found him to be a decent, gentle man, and as they spent time together, she gradually developed feelings for him. She took the initiative in pursuing him, and within a month, they became a couple, eventually marrying.
The couple, who had once been happy, changed after a year.
Qian Yi seemed like a different person; he would fly into inexplicable rages, buy clothes that were completely out of character for his usual taste, and constantly ask her if she no longer loved him. Zhang Hongya couldn’t understand where these mood swings came from. She had tried to discuss the issue with Qian Yi, but it never seemed to be resolved.
Zhuang Yiyi asked, “How is he at his job?”
“He’s quite good. Everyone thinks he’s very responsible and handles things well.”
“And what about you?”
“I’m doing all right too. But because our department was short-staffed at the time, I was asked to step into the role of deputy director.”
Zhuang Yiyi’s eyes flickered. “And him—is he a deputy director as well?”
“No. Our company generally prioritises seniority, though he is quite capable.”
“Hmm, so how did you eventually make up your mind to get a divorce?”
Zhang Hongya was silent for a long while.
“I was exhausted.” Zhang Hongya gave a bitter smile. “You probably wouldn’t believe it, but he’d attempted suicide several times. On 16 April, we had a terrible argument. I’d been swamped with work those days and didn’t want to go home and have a fight with him. I didn’t go back, and I didn’t want to answer his calls, so I stayed in a hotel on my own… Then, later that evening, a neighbour rang me to say he’d taken his own life…”
Zhang Hongya choked back her tears. Zhuang Yiyi handed her a few tissues; Zhang Hongya clutched them tightly in her palm, as if that were the only thing keeping her from breaking down.
Those few days when he was in hospital after attempting suicide were probably the most peaceful we’d ever had. But once he was discharged, it wasn’t long before he started feeling that I wanted to abandon him again. He asked me to change jobs, but I refused. We had another argument, and then he attempted suicide again.
Over the past year, he’s attempted suicide several times, and it’s always been the same. Always the same.
She raised her red, swollen eyes to look at Zhuang Yiyi. She felt as though she were being torn apart. “Can you understand? The pressure is really getting to me, really. Every time he attempts suicide, it’s torture for me. I can’t take it, I really can’t…”
Across the table, Zhuang Yiyi took her hand. A faint coolness slowly spread from her skin, soothing her agitated and oppressed heart. In the calm depths of her eyes, Zhang Hongya gradually began to settle down.
“I know. You’re under a lot of pressure. Even a complete stranger, upon hearing of his suicide, would feel distressed. It’s a natural sense of empathy we all share. Especially when that person is someone you spend every moment with and care deeply for—the anguish and pressure become almost unbearable. And of course, there’s one more thing—you feel his suicide is your fault.”
Zhang Hongya’s eyes stung with tears; she had been tormented by this burden for so long, it was driving her to the brink of madness. She averted her gaze from Zhuang Yiyi and wiped the tears streaming down her face with the back of her hand.
“If Qian Yi were to divorce you, would you choose to take your own life?”
Zhang Hongya shook her head.
“So, the responsibility for his suicide lies largely with him. It lies in the environment he grew up in, in the various people he encountered, and in the various experiences he went through.”
“You are one of the reasons, but only one among many.”
……
“Go and see him.”
……
Zhuang Yiyi stood at the door of the ward, watching Zhang Hongya go inside. Chen Ding appeared out of nowhere. “Have you had a good chat?”
“Mm. It’s up to her now.”
Chen Ding also peered through the small transparent window in the door at the two people inside. “Do you think it’ll work?”
“The power of love can be quite remarkable at times.”
Chen Ding’s lips curved into a smile.
“How did you convince her?”
“Just as you said—the power of love.” Zhuang Yiyi was still staring at him, and Chen Ding laughed. “All right. “The day I brought Qian Yi to the hospital, I saw her at the ER entrance.”
The two of them sat down on chairs in the corridor.
Chen Ding suddenly called out, “Darling.”
Zhuang Yiyi’s heart skipped a beat; she glanced around. Only a patient had just stepped out of a ward three metres away. She said softly, “I told you not to shout out like that in public.”
“Oi!” He leaned his head lazily against the wall, arms folded behind his head. “When am I ever going to get a proper title?”
Zhuang Yiyi didn’t reply.
Chen Ding asked again, “Darling, are you coming home tonight?”
Zhuang Yiyi shot him a glare.
Chen Ding pulled a long face. “I can’t sleep on my own at night. ”
Zhuang Yiyi turned back. Immediately, a faint rustling sound came from beside her; the familiar scent of perfume grew closer. She turned her head, and there was Chen Ding’s face.
They were almost kissing.
Chen Ding seemed to be thinking the same thing; Zhuang Yiyi saw a slight shift in his gaze. She reached out and pushed his face aside. “Aren’t you busy?”
“Not really. I haven’t been too busy lately. Darling, can I hold your hand?”
Zhuang Yiyi gave him a cold look. Chen Ding said, “Don’t worry, we’ll do it on the sly—no one will see.”
Zhuang Yiyi said nothing, but simply slipped her hand into the pocket of her white coat.
Her reaction made Chen Ding burst out laughing.