When Cheng Yanzhou tracked down Yu An, the latter was organizing files at his law firm. The moment he saw Cheng Yanzhou, his previously mild expression instantly turned ice cold.
Before Cheng Yanzhou could even speak, Yu An slammed the files down onto the desk with a sharp smack, his expression full of anger. “President Cheng is certainly resourceful to be able to find even a small law firm like mine.”
He made no effort to conceal the sarcasm in his tone. Facing Cheng Yanzhou, who looked utterly exhausted, Yu An glared right back at him.
“He called you before the accident happened. Where is he?”
The Alpha completely disregarded Yu An’s hostility and malice, his voice terrifyingly raspy as his tone carried a trace of restraint.
“Cheng Yanzhou, are you out of your damn mind? Shen Qi is dead. Dead, do you understand?”
Cheng Yanzhou clenched his fists, his fingernails digging deep into his flesh. His voice was hoarse and broken as he stubbornly repeated, “Where is he?”
Yu An sneered, stood up, and closed the distance by two steps, poking a finger hard against Cheng Yanzhou’s chest.
“Ha, did you not understand human speech? Now that the person is dead, you are still chasing after him relentlessly. Cheng Yanzhou, do you actually love him, or do you just love the feeling of keeping him tied to your side?”
“He no longer has to stay in your Cheng family’s gilded cage. Can you not even see that much?”
Yu An’s gaze was sharp, his eye rims reddened from agitation.
“You did not like him, yet you used marriage to trap him by your side and tortured him for three years. Was that fun? Now that he is gone, you come back to act all deep and devoted. Do you not think it is a bit late?”
“Want to find Shen Qi? Do you even deserve it?”
Every single word felt like a needle, stabbing into Cheng Yanzhou’s heart one after another.
He opened his mouth, but could not find any words to refute. What Yu An was saying was actually the reality he had never dared to face.
Even though he had his hidden reasons, he had indeed tormented Shen Qi for three years, had he not?
Knowing full well that the other person liked him, he had chosen to distance himself with aloof indifference, using cold violence to wound Shen Qi time and time again.
He was a thorough and complete bastard.
Cheng Yanzhou reined in his thoughts, keeping his emotions hidden beneath a blank exterior as he coldly spoke.
“I know he is not dead.”
This time, Yu An was taken aback.
Why is he so certain?
Yu An lowered his gaze, forcing himself to calm down.
Cheng Yanzhou must be trying to bait him into talking by saying that. They had meticulously arranged everything, and for now, there were no loopholes.
“Just leave. You are not welcome here.”
When Yu An spoke again, his tone had regained its composure. He turned around, tidying the documents that had just been scattered, with his back facing Cheng Yanzhou.
The room was instantly filled only with the sound of rustling paper, yet it left a lingering sense of palpitations and unease.
After a long silence, he heard Cheng Yanzhou’s voice coming from behind.
“I will not shortchange him from now on. If you get any news of him, please let me know.”
With that, he stopped waiting for Yu An’s response, turned around, and walked out carrying a heavy aura of desolation.
The door clicked shut, cutting off the last possible trace where he might find a clue.
Leaving the law firm, Cheng Yanzhou drove aimlessly around the neighborhood before finally stopping in front of the Twilight Bar.
The last time he came here was to pick up a drunk Shen Qi.
Back then, Shen Qi had been completely out of his mind from drinking. Even though his body had turned compliant, nestling softly in his arms, his mouth had not been as obedient as usual, blurting out heartbreakingly harsh truths.
Yet he had been so pitiful, large tears streaming down his face. Even recalling it now, Cheng Yanzhou felt his heart squeezed tightly, aching to the point of near suffocation.
So why, when Shen Qi had been so vulnerable and so reliant on him back then, did he choose to leave using death as the price?
He missed him so much.
Even if it meant acting impulsively, even if it meant losing his sanity, he wanted to tie the person tightly by his side.
At worst, he would lock him up and cage him.
If Shen Qi said he did not want him anymore, he would kiss him and hold him.
If Shen Qi said he did not love him anymore, he would directly mark him and make love to him.
Yet, even just imagining it, he still could not bear to do it.
“Customer, are you coming in for a drink?”
The bartender, holding a glass and wiping it down, saw this person standing at the entrance for a long time and asked with a hint of doubt.
Cheng Yanzhou snapped out of it, pulled away from his train of thought, and nodded as he walked inside.
The familiar jazz music washed over him.
There were not many people at this hour. Aside from two young women taking photos to check in at the trendy spot, there was no one else.
He walked straight up to the bar counter, his voice raspy. “Whiskey, on the rocks.”
Then he found a seat in the corner, which happened to be the exact spot Shen Qi had sat when he got drunk last time.
The whiskey was served promptly, but Cheng Yanzhou did not touch it, merely staring blankly at the swirling liquid in the glass.
The bartender seemed to recognize him, propping the tray against his side and mentioning with a smile, “You look familiar, sir. Did you not come to pick up a gentleman named Shen a few days ago?”
At the mention of Shen Qi, Cheng Yanzhou instantly perked up. He raised his eyes to look at the bartender, his tone a bit hurried.
“A man named Shen? Does he come here often?”
“Pretty much, at least once a week. But his alcohol tolerance is average; he usually just accompanies his friends. I have gotten used to seeing them.”
The friend was likely Yu An.
Indeed, Shen Qi and Yu An had a close relationship and met every weekend. Long ago, when he had first fallen for Shen Qi, he even secretly checked on Yu An and found out that Yu An was an Omega with frequent romantic relationships, which assured him that Shen Qi was not having an affair and they were simply close friends.
For a brief moment, Yu An had almost become his imaginary rival.
“That customer is quite interesting,” the bartender continued chattering away. “One time, he ordered every single drink in the bar and insisted on finding one that smelled closest to a certain scent.”
Cheng Yanzhou’s hand holding the wine glass suddenly paused. “And then? Which one did he find?”
“A Gimlet,” the bartender recalled with a smile. “Gin-based, high alcohol content. He said that scent made him feel grounded, and after that, he only ever drank that one every time. I really did not get it. Why was he so partial to it?”
Ever since he began asking about Shen Qi, Cheng Yanzhou’s excited emotions caused a small amount of pheromones to leak out. The bartender, being an Alpha, caught the scent effortlessly when standing close by.
He raised an eyebrow, his expression turning gossipy. “If I may ask, is your pheromone Gimlet? Then the scent Mr. Shen was looking for…”
Cheng Yanzhou’s movements abruptly halted. He could not hear the bartender’s subsequent teasing analysis.
A Gimlet.
The scent of gin.
So the drink Shen Qi had tirelessly searched for and ordered every single time thereafter was actually a drink that shared the scent of his own pheromones.
His Shen Qi was a Beta who had never been able to smell his own pheromones, so…
So he used this method to secretly obsess over everything related to him?
His heart felt as though it had been violently clenched by a fist, aching so badly he could barely breathe.
He picked up the whiskey on the table, tilted his head, and gulped down a large mouthful. The spicy liquid burned his throat, yet it failed to suppress the surging sourness welling up in the corners of his eyes.
He remembered how Shen Qi used to curl up in his arms and stubbornly sniff the back of his neck, remembered the aggrieved tears when Shen Qi mistakenly thought he had a thing with Shi Nian, and remembered his red-rimmed eyes when he said, “Cheng Yanzhou, please just love me.”
He suddenly realized that Shen Qi might love him even more than he had ever imagined.
The glass quickly emptied, and Cheng Yanzhou raised his hand to order another.
The bartender looked at his reddened eye corners and said nothing more, simply turning around silently to mix the drink.
Yet, he had no idea where he was supposed to look for his Qiqi.
There was nowhere left with him.