Ever since she was ten, when her father had died unexpectedly and her mother had wept as she buried him, it had not been long before her mother stroked her head and said she was going somewhere. Leaving Xiaobai behind, she never returned, and Xue Ling had lived alone for more than a decade.
In the past, as long as one person was fed, there was no need to worry about the whole family going hungry. She ate whatever there was to eat. Now that she was raising Gu Xingzhi, she still did not make many dishes.
She finished eating first, then ladled several spoonfuls of porridge into a bowl, took a steamed bun, and carried them into the bedroom.
Gu Xingzhi had already changed his clothes. Dressed neatly, he rested with his eyes closed. Hearing the sound of her opening the door, his eyelids trembled, and he slowly opened his eyes to look in her direction.
Though she knew he should not be able to see so quickly at present, Xue Ling was still startled by his pitch-black eyes. She wondered if she ought to cover his eyes again. Otherwise, it would be troublesome if he suddenly regained his sight one day.
Xue Ling carried the bowl of white porridge to his side. “Time to eat.”
Without even asking what it was, Gu Xingzhi refused. “No need. I’m not hungry.”
“Oh.” Xue Ling did not care. No longer pressing her warm face against his cold backside, she took the bowl and went back out.
After leaving, Xue Ling carefully recalled the expression on his face. Though it had seemed as usual, there had been disdain and contempt in his refusal.
Actually, considering that he had been accustomed to fine wine and delicacies since childhood, it was normal that he was not used to the white porridge and steamed buns fit only for commoners like her.
But he was no longer the exalted heir.
Xue Ling remembered how her father had once tried to tame a wolf. He patiently waited for it to fall into a hunting pit, then starved the still-ferociously struggling wolf until it was half-dead before throwing it a little meat. Repeating this over and over, in less than a month—perhaps only twenty-some days—it had become like a dog. When it saw her father, it would even wag its tail.
Xiaobai had that wolf’s blood in him.
So she had always felt that since Gu Xingzhi and Xiaobai were so alike, he ought to resemble that wolf as well.
She would tame him.
Xue Ling did not enter the room for the entire afternoon, nor did she go out. Instead, she sat in the courtyard weaving straw sandals and bamboo baskets, planning to take them to the market in a few days and sell them to merchants who specialized in buying such things.
A pair of straw sandals sold for four copper coins, and a bamboo basket for three. In one afternoon, she could weave two pairs of straw sandals and three bamboo baskets, earning a total of twelve copper coins.
She concentrated on weaving the straw sandals. There was not the slightest sound from inside the room, as though she were still alone.
Time passed in an instant, and the sun sank toward the western mountains.
Xue Ling set aside her work and rubbed her neck, which had grown sore from being bent downward for so long. She lifted her eyes toward the distant mountains.
Once the soreness in her body had eased, she rose and ate dinner while there was still enough daylight to save the cost of lamp oil.
Just as at noon, she carried porridge, a steamed bun, and pickled vegetables inside to ask him.
Gu Xingzhi gave the same answer as before.
Not hungry.
Xue Ling rolled her eyes at him, then carried everything back out.
That night, she entered the room again.
Hearing her, Gu Xingzhi calculated the time. It was already evening, with cooking smoke rising in wisps, yet she was still in the room. He asked her, “Aren’t you going back to sleep?”
“Sleep?” Xue Ling had just washed her feet and was swinging her legs. She turned her head toward him in confusion.
The twilight outside the window descended, leaving the room dim and shadowy. Even dressed in coarse cotton and hemp, the young man seemed like white jade radiating a pure luster, making even his old clothes appear noble.
Xue Ling grew jealous again. She stopped swinging her legs and stared fixedly at him. Beneath her narrow, double-lidded eyes, the whites showed more than usual, while her pupils were black and large, making her look like a gloomy female ghost with disheveled hair.
Gu Xingzhi knew nothing of this. “It’s late. You should go back to sleep.”
As soon as he finished speaking, he heard Xue Ling inexplicably snort coldly. Then he heard her slippers drag across the floor as she ran over and suddenly wrapped her arms around him, opening her mouth and biting down unceremoniously on his shoulder.
“Where am I supposed to sleep? This is my bed. Xiaobai doesn’t have a bed to sleep in. It likes sleeping in the dry grass by the door, and only comes into the room when it rains.”
Her bite through the stiff fabric was not hard, more like the sting of an insect. Gu Xingzhi drew his brows together and turned his head, trying to push her away.
Xue Ling caught the fresh fragrance rising from his skin again. Her heartbeat suddenly quickened, and that dry heat found only in summer rose once more. Unable to resist, she followed his turning head and leaned closer.
Her lips and nose pressed against his shoulder as she sniffed suspiciously. “You clearly changed your clothes, so why do you still smell this good? Did some kind of fragrance seep into your skin, or were you simply born this way?”
The moment her voice fell, she clearly noticed him pause for an instant before returning to normal. His tone was cold and indifferent. “I’ll sleep by the door.”
Xue Ling imitated his indifference and tugged at the iron chain. “I’m not at ease letting you sleep alone. You have to sleep with me.”
The crisp rattle of the chain and the moist, greedy breath of the woman at his neck irritated Gu Xingzhi beyond measure, but his tone remained calm. “Men and women must maintain a distinction. I won’t move.”
“What distinction between men and women? Sleeping together won’t make us have children.” Xue Ling’s cheeks were flushed as she turned her head and rested it crookedly on his shoulder. “You have to sleep with me. I want to hold you, and I want to smell you.”
She had heard that everything wealthy people used was fumigated with fragrance. If the expensive scent on him had remained in his skin because he had been perfumed for years, then if she smelled him a little less now, it might be difficult to smell him again later.
Perhaps because her words were so innocent, Gu Xingzhi was silent for several breaths before saying, “It will.”
“What do you mean, it will or won’t?” Xue Ling found him so annoying. She only wanted to smell him; she was not going to do anything to him.
She shoved him roughly toward the inside of the bed, grumbling, “You won’t be able to give birth. Even if you wanted to, I wouldn’t be willing to give birth to your child. I heard that thin women have great difficulty giving birth and might die. I’m not having children.”
Gu Xingzhi was tall and broad to begin with, and the narrow bed could barely contain his legs. Now that he was wedged into the corner with a catlike woman burrowing into his arms, it seemed even more cramped.
“It’s dark. You’re not allowed to talk. I’m so sleepy.” Xue Ling forbade him to speak and simply raised a hand to cover his lips. “If you say another word, I’ll immediately give you a child and have her grab your trouser legs and call you Daddy.”
Gu Xingzhi: “…”
At last, it was quiet.
Satisfied, Xue Ling lowered her hand. She had originally intended to twist into a comfortable position in his arms and go to sleep, but his body was warm, while the broken windows and roof of her house always let in the chill of the early spring night, when winter had only just passed.
Cold air crept up from the soles of her feet. She stepped on the back of his foot and made him raise it slightly.
Gu Xingzhi did not move, so she stepped on it herself.
It was so smooth and tender, even more comfortable than the silk he had removed during the day.
There were calluses on Xue Ling’s feet as well. The cold winter had caused chilblains to grow on them, and after they healed, they had turned into rough, dry skin. It was very uncomfortable against the backs of Gu Xingzhi’s feet.
In the darkness, he pressed his lips together.
Just as her feet finally grew warm, her back began to feel chilly again.
Xue Ling turned around and pressed her entire back against his chest, making him hold her. Her legs also had to be wrapped around her.
Gu Xingzhi naturally would not adopt such an excessively intimate and shameless position, but Xue Ling was truly cold.
She turned and reached for his thigh on her own. Before her fingertips could touch it, he suddenly seized her hand.
His eyes had already been covered again. Looking up at him, Xue Ling could see only his thin, pale-red lips moving beneath the blindfold.
“What are you doing?”
Xue Ling looked at him as though he were being inexplicable and answered naturally, “Didn’t I already tell you? I’m cold.”
Gu Xingzhi could not see her clearly. He could only judge her tone from her voice, and he heard the spoiled yet utterly reasonable note in it.
“Put your leg in front of me and hold me tightly.”
As if to prove that she was cold, she curled farther into his arms.
Xue Ling was frail and weighed almost nothing in his embrace. He could easily gather her into his arms. In truth, he did not think she was cold at all. Rather, the cheek pressed against his chest felt burning hot.
He was silent for a moment, and sure enough, he heard that she was no longer concerned with hot or cold. She merely buried her face in his chest, her soft, trembling voice murmuring like someone speaking in a dream.
“You smell so good.”
“What kind of fragrance do you use? How can it remain for so long?”
It was as though she had never spoken with anyone while embracing them to sleep at night. She chattered on without pause, one sentence following another like beans pouring from a pod, clearly filled with great interest.
Gu Xingzhi did not answer her.
“I really want to strip off your skin and make you into fragrance.” She suddenly tossed out the sentence, then stared at him without blinking, wanting to see whether he would reveal any panic or fear.
Outside the window, the sky had completely darkened into twilight. The faint light leaking through the roof tiles and eaves was blocked by the bed curtains. Gu Xingzhi seemed to give a cold snort at her vaguely threatening words.
He was not afraid. Xue Ling’s deliberately malicious expression faded.
Her back was still so cold. If she ever had money one day, she would certainly place a bed warmer beside the bed even in early spring.
Xue Ling released him, then turned around again and pressed her back against him.
He was as still as a warm corpse that gave off fragrance and body heat, unmoving as a mountain, as though nothing she did could disturb his composure.
Xue Ling’s hands and feet were truly cold, so she pushed her luck. Pinching the hem of his upper garment between two fingers, she slipped her hands inside like two nimble little fish. Her toes also pressed against the backs of his feet and pushed toward his thighs, wanting him to clamp them between his legs.
Gu Xingzhi abruptly stiffened and tried to pull her hands out from beneath his clothes, but she had already pinched his waist. Her fingertips gently stroked it as she sighed, “This feels so good. It’s even more comfortable than the fabric of Sister Ai’s wedding clothes when she married several years ago.”
Gu Xingzhi caught her wrist as her hand stroked upward. “Let go.”
His body was so warm. Xue Ling had no intention of coming out.
Before going to bed, Xue Ling had also fed him Mafeisan, claiming that she was worried his wounds would hurt at night and keep him from sleeping. As a result, Gu Xingzhi did not have much strength now.
His steady breathing became somewhat disordered. “Take your hands and feet out.”
“No.” Xue Ling refused him and rubbed them randomly over the raised, taut muscles of his chest.
As her palm rubbed against his skin, she could feel that his body was hotter than before. His raised chest seemed to pulse unconsciously beneath her hand.
Xue Ling had not expected a man’s chest to move. As if addicted to the game, she kept touching it, and her foot could not help pressing upward as well. Her knee vaguely bumped into something.
“Uh…” The hand gripping her slender wrist began to tremble. The exposed lower half of his cold, impassive face was tense, and his tightly pressed thin lips faintly revealed his restraint.
“Ah—”
Just as Gu Xingzhi was nearly unable to concentrate, he suddenly heard the woman’s startled exclamation, and the hand resting on his taut muscles also stopped.
His consciousness scattered. His lips parted somewhat loosely, and he let out a long groan.
Xue Ling had intended to accuse him of being improper, but when she heard him suddenly pant strangely, half her body went numb from the sound.
“Don’t make those noises while you’re pressed against me.” Flustered, Xue Ling abruptly pulled out her hand and covered his lips. In a small, dissatisfied voice, she complained, “You’re really troublesome. It would be better if you were a woman.”
If he were a woman, she could hold him as much as she pleased. He would not jab her knee the moment she touched him and nearly knock her off the bed.
“It’s small to begin with.” She snorted lightly, sliding her knee down along his thigh and obediently letting him clamp it between his legs.
The bed was small to begin with, and he had nearly squeezed her off it.
For once, Gu Xingzhi’s silence was not caused by having nothing to say. A blush spread downward from the skin of his covered eyelids. His slightly parted lips seemed about to say something, but in the end, only hot breath brushed over the crown of her head.
Xue Ling stopped making trouble, and neither of them spoke.
As the night deepened, Xue Ling still could not fall asleep. It was not because she was cold, but because he smelled so good.
The fragrance continually lingered around her nostrils, tempting her until her chest grew hot and her throat dry. She kept wanting to sit up and drink some cold water to soothe her throat, but she did not want to move. Her fingers merely gripped the cold chain and swung it idly.
The person behind her seemed finally to have been disturbed beyond endurance. He raised a hand almost imperceptibly and pressed down on her swinging hand.
“Stop swinging it.” His voice was hoarse.
Xue Ling’s eyes lit up. She turned her head and stared at him. “Xiaobai, can’t you sleep either?”
Gu Xingzhi said nothing. When she swung the chain, however, the iron rubbed lightly and uncomfortably against his Adam’s apple.
Xue Ling continued, “I can’t sleep either. My body is cold, but my chest is hot. Can you help me?”
Help her…
Gu Xingzhi’s hand, which was pressing down on hers, went rigid. He instinctively lowered his head, and the darkness before his eyes finally brought him back to his senses.
Xue Ling had no idea what he was thinking. She lifted his hand and placed it around her waist, then curled up her knees and slipped her cold feet between his thighs. Her sleepy voice murmured dreamily, “You have to hold me properly tonight. Don’t let me get too cold. In winter, Xiaobai always warms me this way.”
The old window creaked in the spring-night wind, sending the chill of the night inside. She pressed herself even more tightly against him, her murmurs fading as her breathing grew soft.
Gu Xingzhi remained awake the entire time. As the window continued to bang in the howling wind, she curled almost her whole body into his arms and slept very peacefully.
He hated the woman in his arms. He even found her disgusting.