The following day, the sky was overcast and gloomy.
Xue Ling had rarely slept so comfortably. She truly did not want to wake up, but she had no choice.
The day before, Uncle Li had told her that the academy was short-handed and asked whether she was willing to work there for a few days. She had agreed.
Before leaving, she remembered that Gu Xingzhi had not eaten even half a grain of rice since she had rescued him. As usual, she reheated the porridge left uneaten from the night before for him, just as she had yesterday.
Gu Xingzhi did not take it. When he reached out, he found that the rim of the bowl was chipped, and that there were not even chopsticks or a spoon.
Xue Ling was in a hurry to go to the academy. Seeing that he merely touched the bowl without taking it, she set the porridge on the low cabinet and repeatedly instructed him that he must eat if he became hungry. Then she stopped paying him any further attention, slung the cloth bag containing the dry provisions over her back, and left.
After she departed, the jade-like young man sat up from the bed and tried to get down. Unfortunately, his hands and feet were weak, so he gave up.
The collar was still there. Gu Xingzhi lay on his back, the contours of his chin cold and beautiful. With his face covered, it was impossible to see his expression. His fingers stroked the iron collar fastened tightly around his neck.
She was afraid that he would leave, so she had not removed the iron collar. Just as she had done the previous night, she had held the other end of the chain in her hand to prevent him from leaving while she slept.
She truly was raising him as though he were a dog.
Elsewhere.
Xue Ling nearly arrived late.
Every year, after winter ended and early spring arrived, the academy renovated its gardens anew. Pruning the branches and leaves was the first time such work had fallen to her. Perhaps Teacher Liu had encountered Uncle Li the day before and, after hearing what Uncle Li had said, felt sorry for her and left this easy, pleasant job for her.
Xue Ling was very grateful to Teacher Liu.
When she arrived, Liu Changnong was already teaching.
Today, they were not indoors. They were welcoming the spring greenery, sitting together on the ground outside the gardens and discussing poetry and philosophy.
Xue Ling rolled up her trouser legs and stood barefoot in the chilly lotus pond. Listening to the incomprehensible poems they recited, she could not help glancing over again and again.
Several times, when she saw Liu Changnong, her jealousy rose uncontrollably once more.
Liu Changnong had a refined, handsome appearance. The scholarly air about him was more graceful than the weeping willows beside the lotus pond, and he was highly accomplished in his studies. She had heard that even the prefect intended to take him as a son-in-law. So long as he agreed to the prefect, he could soar in one leap into a life of wealth and honor.
If only she were a man. It would be wonderful if such a heaven-sent opportunity could fall to her.
The more envious and jealous she became, the better she worked. She almost wished she could fish several silver ingots out of the lotus pond, secretly tuck them into her clothes, and become a wealthy person.
She did not fish out any silver ingots, however. Instead, she pulled out a damaged jade pendant.
Xue Ling lowered her eyes to examine the jade, which was still covered in grime, then bent down and carefully washed the broken piece clean.
The jade was smooth and translucent, a lake-like emerald green. It was an exceptionally fine piece of jade.
Even though it was broken, with such excellent material, it could still be pawned for several taels of silver at a pawnshop.
Wealth had fallen from the heavens.
Xue Ling’s eyes lit up. She was about to tuck it into her clothes when she suddenly remembered hearing the people working alongside her say that Teacher Liu had lost a piece of ancestral jade the previous year.
This must be that piece of jade. Xue Ling rolled the broken jade between her fingertips, hesitating.
She was poor. She wished she could pawn anything she found for money. With money, she could repair the roof of her house, which leaked whenever it rained.
After thinking it over and over, Xue Ling ultimately bore the pain of giving up the jade. Pulling a troubled face, she pretended to be surprised and asked the people beside her in astonishment, “What is this?”
The women working in the same lotus pond gathered around. Chattering over one another, they said that it was probably the piece of jade Teacher Liu had lost the year before and told her to hurry and ask Teacher Liu.
Xue Ling did not want to go. She was afraid she would be unable to bear giving up the jade, so she said awkwardly, “I still have some work left to finish.”
One of the women volunteered to take on the task.
Xue Ling reluctantly handed over the jade pendant, which had grown hot from being clenched in her hand.
It happened to be the time when Liu Changnong took a break, so the woman tucked the jade pendant away and went over to him.
Xue Ling stared eagerly at the two people in the distance, praying in her heart that the jade would absolutely not be Teacher Liu’s. That way, she could take it back.
She did not know what the woman said to Liu Changnong. After taking the jade pendant, he glanced in Xue Ling’s direction, seemingly thanking her, then fastened the jade pendant to his waist.
It really was Teacher Liu’s.
For a moment, Xue Ling lost all strength to work.
The entire afternoon, she drooped as though she had lost money and sank into regret until she recovered some energy when she received her wages.
The person handing out the wages secretly stuffed a few extra coins into her hand and told her, “They’re from Teacher Liu.”
“Why did Teacher Liu give me these? The jade pendant was his to begin with. I merely happened to find it and return it to him.” As she spoke, Xue Ling happily put away the copper coins. A smile lifted the corners of her lips, and even her gloomy face grew several shades brighter.
The person giving her the wages smiled.
Xue Ling did not investigate whether he was mocking her hypocrisy. She had found the jade pendant, so she should have received this money. If she had not been generous enough to give it back, she could have obtained even more.
The gloom she had felt all afternoon, as if she had lost money, finally dispersed. Seeing that it was getting late, she was about to return home.
She had just taken a few steps when a young man’s gentle voice, warm as a recitation of poetry and books, suddenly sounded behind her.
“Miss Xue, please wait.”
Xue Ling turned her head instinctively. Liu Changnong, who moments ago had still been teaching and educating students, was walking toward her like a breeze through willows. Her feet seemed to take root in the ground, and she stood rigidly in place, eyes wide as she watched him approach.
Liu Changnong was relieved. “Fortunately, Miss Xue, you haven’t gone far.”
Xue Ling unexpectedly met his eyes. The brightness on her face instinctively faded as she lowered her head, and her words became halting and timid. “T-Teacher Liu, are you looking for me?”
Liu Changnong smiled and said gently, “Yes. I came especially to thank you for finding my jade pendant earlier.”
“N-No need to thank me.” She lowered her head. Her thick fringe hid half her face, and her thin, pointed chin seemed ready to sink into her collarbone. The exposed rims of her ears instantly flushed red.
As if recalling something, Liu Changnong handed her the roasted chestnuts he had bought the day before. “Oh, right. Doctor Li told me that you like roasted chestnuts. These are for you.”
Xue Ling had not even finished hearing him before her feet began retreating uncontrollably. She did not dare accept what he was giving her. “N-No, that isn’t necessary, Teacher. It was only right for me to do it.”
Liu Changnong insisted on giving them to her. In the end, she could not refuse him and found herself holding a packet of roasted chestnuts in bewilderment. Quietly peeking through the gaps in her hair, she watched his back as he turned and left after pressing the packet into her hands.
Only after he had gone far away did Xue Ling’s tense, slender shoulder blades suddenly relax. Her eyes shining, she looked at the roasted chestnuts in her arms and carefully shelled one, placing it in her mouth.
Sugar had been added.
Xue Ling’s mood improved. With sweetness filling her mouth, she hugged the roasted chestnuts and headed home.
However, when she pushed open the bedroom door and saw the untouched porridge sitting on the low cabinet, her good mood came to an abrupt halt.
The young man, whose injuries had not yet healed, was no longer lying on the bed. Instead, he sat at its edge, his fingers hooked around the hanging chain. Even the coarse hemp clothing could not conceal his jade-like, translucent beauty.
Xue Ling stood in the doorway. He seemed to notice that she had not entered for a long time, and he raised his head and turned toward her, as if he could see her through the white cloth covering his eyes.
Xue Ling was very angry now.
He still had not eaten. Today was already the third day.
Holding the roasted chestnuts, Xue Ling closed the door and stood before him, questioning him. “Why won’t you eat?”
Gu Xingzhi smiled. “I don’t want to.”
“You’re really disobedient.” Xue Ling snorted coldly. She turned her head toward the white porridge on the low cabinet, set down the roasted chestnuts, and picked up the bowl to take a sip.
Although the porridge had not become quite as sour after three days, it was somewhat watery. It poured down her throat and chilled her heart.
She stubbornly finished the entire bowl of porridge and decided to let him starve. He was simply too disobedient.
After drinking the cold porridge, Xue Ling took the roasted chestnuts and sat beside him, beginning to shell them.
The fragrance of the roasted chestnuts spread through the narrow room. She deliberately chewed in a decidedly unrefined manner. Gu Xingzhi’s brows drew together slightly, and he seemed to shift a little to one side.
Xue Ling raised her eyes to look at him. Seeing him move away, she assumed he disliked her and became even more displeased with him. She set down the roasted chestnuts, originally intending to grab his collar, but when she pulled him toward her, she once again caught the fragrance radiating from his collar.
Her gaze grew hazy. Her grip unconsciously loosened, and both hands followed the collar around his clear, pale neck. Tilting her head, she rubbed her nose and lips against him.
Gu Xingzhi disliked being touched like this. He turned his head to avoid her, but she immediately pressed against him again. Even the buttocks that had been sitting beside him lifted as she sat herself down on him.
“Don’t move away.” Xue Ling threatened him in a muffled voice. “Otherwise, I’ll bite your neck later.”
“Bite here?” Her fingertip touched his prominently protruding Adam’s apple.
Gu Xingzhi did not move. With her face flushed, Xue Ling clung to his legs, her arms hooked around him as she breathed unevenly and sniffed.
The woman’s moist, soft breaths brushed indistinctly over his neck, more sticky and uncomfortable than the dampness of humid weather.
To keep her from luring him down, Gu Xingzhi braced one hand against the edge of the bed and leaned slightly forward. His expression remained so indifferent that it was as though there were no one on him at all, despite her frenziedly drawing him in and sniffing him wildly.
Whenever Xue Ling smelled the fragrance on him, she always became crazily unsatisfied, yet she had no idea how to ease the dryness in her throat. Before long, her whole body went limp, and she collapsed into his arms, panting.
After finally recovering, she lifted her eyes and saw his aloof posture, unmoving as a mountain. Displeased, she tugged on his earlobe. “If you won’t eat, then go to sleep.”
He answered coldly, “Mm.”
He really was not going to eat? Xue Ling angrily hugged him and went to sleep.
Although she had intended to starve the disobedient Gu Xingzhi, when she left in the morning, she still placed the leftovers from her breakfast in the room before heading to the academy to work.
She was absent-minded that day, thinking constantly of Gu Xingzhi, who had not eaten a single grain of rice in several days. The moment she received her wages, she wanted to hurry home.
Unexpectedly, she ran into Liu Changnong again that day.
“Miss Xue, are you in a hurry to return home?” The scholar dressed in white seemed to have something to ask her.
Xue Ling hastily shook her head and answered softly, in her usual slow manner, “I’m not in a hurry. May I ask why Teacher is looking for me?”
The tips of her ears turned red again.
Seeing how timid and honest she was every time, Liu Changnong could not help softening his tone as well. “It’s nothing important. I only wanted to ask whether, if you have the time, you could help me organize some books. I will pay you.”
Xue Ling very much wanted to help him. Even if he had not said that last sentence, she would have nodded the moment he opened his mouth.
But there were many people around now, and because Teacher Liu had taken the initiative to seek her out, they were all casting astonished looks at her.
Many people at the academy liked Teacher Liu. Yet Teacher Liu had treated her differently since yesterday. Even without looking, she could guess that they were all envious of her.
Xue Ling wished she could agree immediately, but she could not make it too obvious.
She very reservedly hesitated for a few moments, then gave a slight nod with her pointed chin. “Mm, I have time.”
“Thank you, Miss Xue.” Liu Changnong had also been afraid she would refuse. Seeing her agree, he immediately relaxed and explained to her gently, “It won’t take much of Miss Xue’s time, only a few books that were dried today.”
“Mm, it’s fine.” Xue Ling felt inexplicably delighted. Under everyone’s admiring and envious gazes, she followed closely behind him.
He had said it was only a few books, and in reality, it really was only a few books.
Although Xue Ling looked frail, she had always worked quickly. She soon gathered the several books spread across the bamboo mat, while Liu Changnong placed the books she had collected into the shelves according to their categories in the library.
With nothing else to do, Xue Ling carried books over to help him.
Liu Changnong smiled gently. “Thank you, Miss Xue.”
Xue Ling calmly shook her head, though the tips of her ears were faintly hot.
The two of them were very quiet.
Liu Changnong suddenly asked her, “Did you like yesterday’s roasted chestnuts?”
Holding the books, Xue Ling nodded. “I did. Thank you, Teacher.”
Liu Changnong smiled. “There’s no need to thank me. It’s good that you liked them. If you ever have any difficulties, tell me.”
Those words sounded very intimate. What did he mean, telling her to speak to him if she had any difficulties?
Xue Ling tilted her head and, for the first time, raised her eyes to look directly at him.
Liu Changnong did not hear her response. Turning his head to look, he saw only the woman hurriedly lowering her head.
Xue Ling nodded vaguely. “Mm, all right.”
Liu Changnong took the last book she handed him and placed several copper coins in her palm. In a gentle voice, he said, “It’s getting late. Go home early.”
“Mm…” Xue Ling clutched the coins, still dazed by what he had said.
She left the academy almost light-headed.
After returning home, she looked at the dilapidated courtyard, where the eastern wall seemed on the verge of collapsing, yet she no longer felt that life was hard.
Xue Ling entered the bedroom cheerfully, but when she saw the untouched food still sitting on the low cabinet, the smile fell from her face.
He hadn’t eaten again.
Xue Ling pressed her lips together, so angry that she wanted to beat the dog.
But when she looked at the handsome young man leaning against the bed frame, who had endured several days of impoverished living, with his long hair hanging loose and unbound, his complexion pale and haggard, and his thin lips cracked, she could no longer see any of the lofty, dignified nobility he had possessed at the beginning. Even so, he remained as steady as though not a ripple disturbed him.
Xue Ling felt sorry for him.
Perhaps because she was in a good mood today, not only did she abandon the thought of beating him, she even picked up the bowl of leftover rice surrounded by flies and went to the back kitchen to cook a bowl of scallion-oil noodles herself.
She carried it in from outside once more and held it out to him.
Gu Xingzhi raised his head and faced her calmly, but did not take it.
Xue Ling said, “It isn’t leftover rice. I’ve just cooked a bowl of noodles.”
She had known all along that he would not eat leftovers. She had deliberately done this over the past few days, intending to break him of his haughty habits, but he had remained unmoving, as though he meant to starve himself to death.
Xue Ling thought that since she had personally cooked a separate bowl of noodles for him, he should take the opportunity to relent. She had not expected his manner to remain as cold and indifferent as ever.
A faint smile touched Gu Xingzhi’s dark, pale lips. “There’s no need.”
Xue Ling grew angry. She abruptly set the bowl of noodles down hard to one side, seized his chin, and said unhappily, “Even if you don’t want to eat, you still have to.”
Gu Xingzhi was forced to raise his chin. His clear, cold face was paler than snow, yet even while being held captive, he remained calm, his aloofness conveying his icy indifference.
Xue Ling stared at his coldly beautiful face and said seriously, “I’ll feed you, I’ll pour it down your throat, or you can do it yourself. There are no other choices. You have to eat today.”
With that, she made as if to pinch both his cheeks and force the noodles into him.
Gu Xingzhi grasped the hand pinching his chin. His clear, slender neck lifted, and his thin, dark-red lips parted. His calm voice was slightly hoarse and resonant. “I’ll do it myself.”
Seeing him give in, Xue Ling beamed. She released his chin, picked up the noodles that had nearly gone cold, and held them out to him, gently reminding him, “Here.”
Her voice was soft and mild, as though nothing unpleasant had happened moments earlier.
The pads of Gu Xingzhi’s fingers paused against the bowl. Once he saw that it really was a bowl of noodles, he calmly accepted it and even thanked her.
A young man born into an eminent family had long since learned self-restraint, propriety, and how to maintain a good temperament toward everyone.
Xue Ling felt inexplicably satisfied. The smile on her face rose of its own accord, and she handed him the bamboo chopsticks she had hidden away. “The chopsticks are here.”
Gu Xingzhi nodded in acknowledgment. His pale fingers, faintly tinged pink, lightly touched the collar. In a gentle voice, he negotiated with her, “Can you take it off? It’s uncomfortable when I swallow.”
Xue Ling leaned forward and glanced at it.
The collar had originally been made for a dog, so it did not fit the young man’s neck. It had even rubbed a red mark around his Adam’s apple.
But she shook her head. “No. You haven’t been obedient.”
Gu Xingzhi gave a cold, faint smile and did not discuss the matter further. Because of the collar’s length, he could only kneel with his legs folded on the bed to eat.
He took the bamboo chopsticks she handed him and, his expression unchanged, lifted the noodles that had gone soft to his lips.
Xue Ling watched him eat a few mouthfuls before he put down the bowl and chopsticks with practiced restraint.
“Eat some more,” Xue Ling urged him.
Gu Xingzhi turned his head toward her. Gentle as jade, he said, “I’m finished.”
He didn’t like it. Xue Ling watched in deep disappointment as he set the bowl on the low cabinet, still more than half full.
She did not say anything to him, however. She snatched the bamboo chopsticks from his hand, picked up the bowl of noodles he could not finish, and sat on the small wooden stool to eat them in great mouthfuls.
Hearing her eat what seemed to be leftovers, Gu Xingzhi tilted his head almost imperceptibly, utterly unable to understand her behavior.
Unlike him, who ate with slow, restrained thoroughness, Xue Ling finished the bowl of noodles in a few mouthfuls. Holding the empty bowl, she wiped the corner of her mouth and turned toward the young man still kneeling on the bed like a white jade carving.
“I’m done eating. Then we’ll wash up and go to sleep later.”
At the mention of this, his lips stiffened. He parted them to politely refuse. “No…”
“I’ve already said it so many times today. You can’t refuse me.” Xue Ling interrupted him.
He was her cleanest and most beautiful possession. Every night, she would change his medicine and wipe his body, even though he always refused.
Now that he was being so disobedient, Xue Ling refused him as well.
Gu Xingzhi also noticed that her mood was no longer as good as it had been when she first returned. He said nothing and sat quietly.
Xue Ling shot him a glance, picked up the bowl and chopsticks, and left the room.
She had barely stepped out when she heard a burst of chaotic clanking chains from the room behind her, along with the young man’s sickening dry heaves.
Her light footsteps grew heavy, but she did not look back.
Inside the room, Gu Xingzhi supported himself with one hand against the edge of the bed, his body bent forward as he retched up the noodles he had just eaten, his face deathly pale. He had barely eaten any to begin with, yet even after vomiting it all up, his stomach continued to churn.
After he finished, he calmly sat upright and waited where he was, just as before. His unbound hair hung to his lower back like black silk, while a few loose strands fell messily over his forehead, giving him the appearance of a gentle, harmless, exquisite piece of jade.
Xue Ling soon heated some water and carried it into the bedroom with great effort. After cleaning up the filth he had vomited, she ordered him to take off his clothes.
Gu Xingzhi did not move. Through the white cloth, he looked at her and said mildly, “I’ll do it myself.”
“No.” Whether from anger or from being exhausted after carrying the water, Xue Ling’s cheeks were flushed, and her gloomy eyes glimmered with dampness. She said righteously, “You have no strength, you’re injured, and you can’t see.”
He was silent for a moment before saying mildly, “Then I won’t wash.”
“No.” Xue Ling reached out to undo his belt. “You’re filthy.”
Besides, she intended to wash the alluring fragrance off him. That way, whenever she wanted to discipline him, she would not inexplicably become glued to him, sniffing him as though she had some kind of illness.
Gu Xingzhi pressed down on the belt she was about to undo. His thin lips drew into a cold line, and the dangerous, violent aura around him seemed unable to remain suppressed as it spread outward. “I said, don’t touch me.”
Xue Ling was inexplicably intimidated by him. She stood stunned for quite a while before recovering, then directly undid his belt. “Why can’t I touch you? You’re mine.”
He wore nothing beneath his short jacket. Once the belt was pulled open, a chill swept over him, leaving him nearly naked.
No one had ever treated him this way. For an instant, Gu Xingzhi wanted to cover her incessantly chattering mouth and snap her neck, but as soon as he raised his hand, Xue Ling caught it.
She seemed to take his raised hand as an active attempt at reconciliation. No longer as angry, she instead lowered her head and rubbed her forehead against his palm, saying smugly, “You should have obeyed from the beginning. Then I wouldn’t have been so fierce with you.”
Like a cat.
Gu Xingzhi’s fingertips trembled faintly. They came to rest against the seam of her lips as they opened and closed while she spoke, and for a moment, he was distracted.
Xue Ling wiped his body and applied his medicine again.
His skin was delicate; even a little force caused it to flush a faint blood-red.
Xue Ling stared glumly at his fair neck, where the veins showed through. After applying the medicine again, she knelt astride his thighs, sat on his knees, and buried herself against his bare, pale chest—he had not even had time to put his upper garment back on—to sniff him.
“How is there still some?”
No matter how she washed him, the fragrance was truly still there.
Gu Xingzhi remained very quiet, lowering his head. His cheekbones were faintly red beyond the white silk.
After hugging him and sniffing until her whole body went numb, Xue Ling finally lifted her flushed face from his shoulder. Breathing sleepily, she said, “I’m so tired today. Hold me tightly tonight. Don’t let me get cold and fall ill.”
She only cared about not falling ill herself, without the slightest concern for him.
Gu Xingzhi was pushed farther into the bed. As she had the previous night, Xue Ling made him tuck her icy, bone-chilling feet between his legs, then wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes to sleep.
She had truly been exhausted from working during the day and soon fell asleep. Even after falling asleep, she worried that he might run away and held tightly to the chain.
Gu Xingzhi was tall, and every night he could only hold her in this cramped, awkward position. It was difficult even to turn over; whenever he made the slightest movement, she would cling to him again like a strip of adhesive plaster.
The woman’s breathing was soft, and every so often she murmured in her sleep. He had no sleepiness at all.