At nine o’clock in the evening, the video call connected on time.
Samia seemed to still be in his office, the lighting dimmed, casting deep shadows across his features. He wore a military-style shirt with the collar slightly open, leaning back in his chair, showing signs of fatigue.
“How was your day?” His voice came through the speaker.
“Not bad.”
Ruan Chaoxi sat on her bed, hugging a soft pillow, sharing the trivial events of her day as usual, then mentioned her class schedule for the following week.
“By the way, Miya-gege.” She remembered the invitation and said, “That peacock gave me an invitation to a lecture today.”
Samia’s slightly relaxed posture straightened almost imperceptibly, his gaze fixed on her face. “A lecture?”
“Yes, next Thursday evening, the Guanghua School of Management is hosting a lecture and networking reception on investment opportunities and risks in Southeast Asia,” she turned her phone camera toward the invitation on her desk. “The keynote speaker is a recently retired diplomat, and the guests include investors who are long-term residents in Southeast Asia. I want to attend and see things from a different perspective.”
As she spoke, she carefully observed Samia’s expression through the screen.
Over the past week, she hadn’t failed to notice his unusual demeanor during their video calls. Behind his seemingly calm and attentive listening was not just simple concern but something more like restraint and a kind of gloom she couldn’t fully decipher.
That feeling stirred a strange, subtle flutter in her heart, as if a feather had lightly brushed against it—a little ticklish, a little inexplicably flustered.
She didn’t understand what it was, only vaguely sensing that Miya-gege seemed different from before.
Samia fell silent.
Reason told him he should stop her. That peacock clearly had ulterior motives. He was trying to get close to her, and he had switched to a more roundabout, “targeted” approach.
But emotionally, seeing the curiosity and anticipation in her eyes about the lecture’s content, the words “don’t go” stuck in his throat, impossible to utter.
Besides, what right did he have now to directly “control” her?
The three-month agreement was set by Mr. Mo. He could only support her desire to experience an “ordinary” life. Forcibly interfering would only push her further away and expose his increasingly obsessive need for control, born of his current “loss of control.”
That might… repel her even more than that peacock.
“…If you’re interested in the lecture’s content,” Samia heard his own voice speak, struggling to maintain steadiness, “it’s fine to attend. You can learn about… different perspectives.”
“Miya-gege…”
Ruan Chaoxi keenly caught the hint of helpless restraint in his tone, and her heart inexplicably tightened.
“But,” Samia interrupted her, his sharp gaze locking onto her eyes, “you can attend the lecture. As for the networking reception, try not to participate. If you must go, don’t be alone, don’t drink anything that’s left your sight, and…” He paused for a few seconds, unable to hold back, “That person’s intentions may not be pure. You… need to keep your boundaries.”
He spoke vaguely, but the words “that person” still betrayed a trace of coldness he couldn’t fully conceal.
Ruan Chaoxi understood. He was bothered by Jiang Yaoci.
Seeing the unfathomable darkness in his eyes and the tension he was desperately suppressing, that inexplicable flutter resurfaced in her heart, mingled with an indescribable, bittersweet ache.Was it because she felt that Miya was unhappy due to worrying about her?
It seemed more than that.
Was it because he clearly didn’t want her to go, yet still chose to support her?
She didn’t know.
She only felt her heartbeat quicken twice, and her cheeks seemed to grow a little warm.
“I know,” she lowered her head, her voice softening unconsciously. “Miya, don’t worry. He’s just an ‘observation sample.’ I’m not interested in him personally. I’m only going to listen to the lecture.”
Her eagerness to clarify, along with the faint blush on the tips of her ears, fell clearly into Samia’s eyes through the screen.
The anxiety and fear that had settled in his heart were momentarily soothed by this small reaction. But that brief comfort was soon replaced by the calm, observant demeanor she maintained behind the term “sample.”
She was too clear-headed, so much so that he felt his own turbulent negative emotions were somewhat exaggerated and misplaced.
“Mhm,” he finally responded softly. “Go if you want to. Just be careful, and don’t come back too late at night.”
“Okay,” Ruan Chaoxi obediently agreed.
After chatting a bit more about daily matters and bidding each other goodnight, the video call ended.
Samia leaned back in his chair, repeatedly recalling her somewhat shy and eager-to-explain expression. Was that blush due to embarrassment from him pointing out her contact with another man, or did it carry another meaning?
He couldn’t tell.
He knew her to the core, yet when it came to the question of “how she viewed him,” he remained lost in a fog.
A brother, a protector, a family member she could absolutely trust and rely on—this was how she had positioned him for eighteen years, a deeply ingrained perception he had carefully maintained for years.
Using this identity, he openly stayed by her side, giving her everything while hiding all feelings that went beyond the scope of “brother.” He disguised his obsessive possessiveness as natural protection and diluted his overwhelming love into a steady, enduring companionship.
He wanted to erase all irrelevant figures from her life, to have only his reflection in her eyes, to lock her firmly in a world where only he existed.
He desired her with the most intense longing and possessiveness of a man for the woman he loved.
He had always thought that as long as he guarded her and waited for her to grow up, someday… But now she had grown up, yet she seemed to be drifting further from the path he had envisioned. Her dependence on him was quietly being replaced by her independence and adaptability. He couldn’t even “justifiably” control her views or contact with another man.
Loss of control, helplessness, obsession, and unspoken love intertwined painfully, almost tearing him apart.
Xixi… when will you understand?
The one who has guarded you by your side for eighteen years was never a tame protector.
But a wolf who long ago carved you into his very bones and blood, patiently waiting for the moment to hunt…
…
Ruan Chaoxi sat on her bed in a daze, holding her still-warm phone, the inexplicable flutter in her heart not yet fully settled.
She unconsciously brushed her fingers over the ring on her right middle finger. It felt cold to the touch, yet it seemed to connect to the warmth of his palm.
Miya… what exactly was he worried about?
Was it just because of that “peacock”? Or was there something else?For as long as she could remember, Miya had always been naturally categorized as “family” in her mind—the most important person besides her parents and brother. His presence was like air and water, so natural that she almost overlooked his “specialness,” yet he was indispensable.
He protected her, cared for her, understood everything about her, and she habitually relied on him, trusted him, and even… found her heart stirred by the slightest change in his emotions.
Seeing him unhappy would leave her feeling heavy-hearted; hearing his forced calm voice would inexplicably make her ache; and when he looked at her with those deep eyes that seemed to hold the entire night sky, her heartbeat would uncontrollably skip a beat.
She didn’t understand what this feeling was.
Dependence? Trust? Familial affection?
It seemed to be all of these, yet… it felt far from enough.
Miya…
What exactly is this tremor born for you in my heart?
And what emotions are those depths of darkness in your gaze trying to convey?