The elevator was silent.
The hallway was quiet. There were only two sets of breathing and two sets of footsteps, making the emptiness feel all the more pronounced.
When they reached the door, Su Yin couldn’t help grabbing the hand Pei Weixue was using to unlock it. “How about having a bowl of hot soup before you go back?”
He didn’t drink often, but on the few occasions he did, whether he’d had a little or a lot, Pei Weixue always ended up hungover. A bowl of hot soup afterward helped ease the headache the next day.
“Didn’t you say you were going to change?” Pei Weixue turned to look at him.
Su Yin gave the same puzzled response as before. “Hm?” He looked at the stubbornness in Pei Weixue’s eyes, trying to think whether he’d done something wrong again. He had no memory of those past events, but ever since he had ‘woken up,’ he’d wanted to mend this relationship, and if he said he would, he would.
He waited for Pei Weixue to continue. He waited and waited, and all that came was Pei Weixue trying to pull away. Instinctively, he grabbed Pei Weixue’s hand. “Xue’er, can you explain it more clearly? Don’t make me guess.”
Tilting his head back, he leaned his mouth close. “I’ve got a mouth. My mouth can say lots and lots of things, it can turn into a loudspeaker. Can you maybe, be like before too, and just say whatever’s on your mind?”
Before…
Pei Weixue lingered on those two words in his mind, then shook off Su Yin’s hand and tugged at his own collar. His whole body gave off a cold indifference that said he couldn’t be bothered talking anymore, and he entered the passcode, intending to go in and rest.
“Xue’er!” Su Yin darted between him and the door. “Then will you keep being my model? The only measurements I remember are yours from six years ago. I want to enter the Haicheng design competition. If I can make the finals, maybe my teacher will be willing to take me back.”
“Didn’t you go looking for He Nan? Isn’t he your boss?” Pei Weixue took two steps back, folded his arms, and looked at him coldly. “What, he wouldn’t agree, so now you’ve come to me as your second choice?”
He was a little surprised, surprised that Su Yin would go back to Teacher Ye.
Six years ago, right after they got their marriage certificate, Teacher Ye Lin had come to their home looking for Su Yin. He had known that Su Yin was supposed to go abroad with Ye Lin for six months of advanced study.
Even though they’d be separated by an ocean, it would have been a huge help to Su Yin’s career. He had always supported it, and he’d firmly believed that he and Su Yin could withstand a long distance relationship. Love wasn’t about being together every waking moment.
He had packed the passport and luggage himself, only for Su Yin to stand Teacher Ye up. When she came to the door, she was furious, saying she’d waited at the airport forever and wanted to know what exactly Su Yin was trying to pull.
Bang bang!
“Su Yin. Teacher Ye is here. Are you still not coming out?” Pei Weixue had blamed himself, thinking he hadn’t paid attention to the time. He’d been too busy thinking about how much Su Yin should bring and hadn’t called him in time.
After all his coaxing and apologizing to Teacher Ye, all he got in return was one sentence from Su Yin through the closed bedroom door. “I’m not going.”
Teacher Ye stormed off in anger. That day was also the first time he and Su Yin had a huge fight.
In his view, Su Yin never should have given up that opportunity. In Su Yin’s view, he was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.
Calling it a huge fight wasn’t even accurate, really. It had just been him venting one sidedly.
Because Su Yin knew exactly how to provoke someone, especially someone ‘sick’ like him.
All it took was the word ‘silence.’
“I didn’t…” Su Yin tried to argue.
Pei Weixue cut him off. “Su Yin, get this straight. I, Pei Weixue, am not someone you can settle for when you run out of options. You may have no shame, but I do.” Even as he said it, there was little conviction in his voice. He should have been furious, but when his eyes met Su Yin’s gaze, he almost failed to hide that indescribable loneliness buried deep inside.
He called Su Yin shameless, but when had he himself ever had any pride?
Especially when Su Yin kept chasing after He Nan, and He Nan would call him to come pick Su Yin up. Just a few casual glances from others were enough to make him wish the ground would swallow him whole.
“What do you mean settle!” Su Yin’s shoulders tensed, his brows shot up, and even his voice rose sharply. “You’re not!”
There was a faint distance in Pei Weixue’s expression as he widened the space between them and said flatly, “You said it yourself. You don’t love me, so I’m the homewrecker between you and He Nan. I should step aside for the two of you. And you’re saying that isn’t settling?”
Rumble~
A clap of thunder sounded in the sky beyond the hallway.
Su Yin felt like the thunder had struck him right on the head, leaving it buzzing. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
That was something ‘he’ said?
Holy shit.
“No, Xue’er. I don’t have those memories right now, I’m not pretending to be dumb. But if ‘I’ really said that, then my brain must’ve gotten slammed in a door.” Su Yin quietly shuffled closer. He really liked that woody cedar scent on Pei Weixue. Even though Pei Weixue had been drinking today, and it had turned into boozy cedar, it was still incredibly alluring.
His steps, his body, had always craved Pei Weixue’s touch. How could he believe that his twenty six year old self no longer loved Pei Weixue? It was absurd.
Maybe he couldn’t promise the future when it came to love, but at the very least, in the past and now, it had to be Pei Weixue for him.
“Look. You’re the other half on my marriage certificate, so how could you be a homewrecker?” Su Yin swore to the heavens. “The only model I want is you. You’re my one and only muse. I’m embarrassed just talking about myself.”
He launched into a nonstop ramble. “I can’t even believe I drew that disaster of a design draft in the studio. It’s way too ridiculous. That color layout doesn’t feel like me at all. If I were really like that, I couldn’t be your Color Palette either.”
Watching him like this, Pei Weixue visibly softened. The corners of his lips even lifted, almost imperceptibly. “So?”
“So I won’t go looking for him. Oh, right.” Su Yin pulled open his backpack zipper and turned the bag toward Pei Weixue like he was showing off. “I just went and got all my design drafts back. I was so stupid, how did I end up being someone else’s ghost designer?”
Pei Weixue caught the key phrase at once. “You just went to He Corporation to get your design drafts?” Not to see He Nan?
Su Yin nodded over and over. “Of course. They’re mine no matter what. Even if I sold them as scrap, I could still get ten cents for them.” He was very attached to that ten cents, the pain of being in debt.
“Okay.”
Huh? Su Yin realized he seemed to have just heard a very important answer. He looked at Pei Weixue’s expression, which was calm, then lightly tugged at the hem of his clothes, tilting his head as he asked softly, “You said ‘okay,’ right?”
Pei Weixue seemed a little annoyed and pushed him away.
“I heard it! You agreed to keep being my model!” His excitement went straight to his head. Su Yin grabbed Pei Weixue’s hand, dragged him back across the hall, unlocked the door with face recognition, went in, and pressed Pei Weixue down onto the sofa, all in one smooth motion.
Pei Weixue didn’t even have time to react. He’d had too much to drink, and his movements were sluggish, his reactions a half beat slower than usual. He turned to look at Su Yin, who had already gone into the kitchen, then picked up the backpack that had been casually tossed aside and looked through the design drafts one by one.
The measurements on the papers were all the same. They weren’t his, so they could only be He Nan’s.
Coming out of the kitchen with hot soup in hand, Su Yin called, “Xue’er.” He looked up and found the living room completely empty, the smile in his eyes fading little by little. “Xue’er!” No way, he’d just coaxed him back, how had he left again?
All that remained was a scattered stack of design drafts on the coffee table.
He could only pour the soup back into the pot to keep it warm, then sit on the sofa, shoulders slumped, his chest heavy, stifled and restless, feeling miserable.
He’d been thinking he’d finish the soup first, then take Pei Weixue’s measurements, or do it tomorrow morning. At the very least, he could get Pei Weixue to stay the night here today. And yet it still ended up like this.
Still, he could comfort himself. There had been progress. Once Pei Weixue agreed to something, he wouldn’t go back on it.
He still needed to figure out as soon as possible just how many awful things he’d done. Otherwise, when one thing after another came crashing down on him, he wouldn’t even know the full extent of it.
And not every mistake came with a chance to make amends. First he needed to find out whether he had really cheated. It looked like he really would have to go ask He Nan in person.
But to him, He Nan was a ticking time bomb, and the matter of him ‘chasing after He Nan’ was also the thorn in Pei Weixue’s side. One huge knot.
When he said it wasn’t him who’d done those things, no one believed him. So figuring out what exactly had happened had become an urgent matter too, yet there was nowhere to begin.
It seemed like only a ghost explanation made any sense.
The next day.
Su Yin carried a bag of vegetables and went to knock on his mom’s door. He still didn’t know where Pei Weixue’s studio was, so he’d have to ask her.
Click.
“What do you want?” Su Qingyue still found him deeply irritating. When she’d seen Pei Weixue come back yesterday, he had looked so dejected. This bastard son of hers had definitely done something again.
“Mom. What’s Xue’er’s studio address? Tell me, please?”
Su Qingyue said, “What are you pretending for?” Not long ago, Su Yin had gone to Pei Weixue’s studio and caused a huge scene, yelling that Pei Weixue wouldn’t divorce him and kept pestering him, and so on.
Everyone on that entire office floor had watched the spectacle.
“I… I really forgot. I’m not pretending to have amnesia.” Su Yin’s heart clenched. Oh no, judging by his mom’s expression, had ‘he’ gone to Xue’er’s studio and made some ridiculous scene there too?
“Figure it out yourself.” Su Qingyue gave a snort, took the vegetables from Su Yin’s hands, and slammed the door shut with a bang.
Su Yin: “…” What a sin.
All of a sudden, he wasn’t quite so brave about delivering lunch to Xue’er anymore.
The assistant who’d come to the house with documents last time had looked at him strangely too.
No. He still hadn’t gotten Pei Weixue’s measurements. Making clothes would be quick, once he had the sizing it would be done in no time. Pei Weixue probably ate boxed meals every day anyway.
As the saying goes, if you want to win your partner’s heart, start with their stomach. Back then, he hadn’t even needed to use that trick to win Pei Weixue over.
Now that he was using it, maybe it’d work wonders?
When he got back to his kitchen, he remembered that his mom had taken all the vegetables. No, those had been bought with the very last of his grocery money, and now they were just gone. At this point, his pockets were truly cleaner than his face.
In ancient times there was 《Memorial on the Expedition》, “The late emperor’s great cause was unfinished when he passed away halfway through.”
Now there was 《A Cook’s Memorial》, “Su Yin’s cooking was unfinished when he ran out of ingredients halfway through.”
Facing this memorial, tears streamed down his face.
Facing his completely empty refrigerator, tears streamed down his face.
Luckily, he’d always had a habit of saving loose change. He ran back to his room and rummaged through everything in search of his piggy banks. In the end, he found the snowman-shaped one under a stack of quilts in the wardrobe.
He picked it up and weighed it in his hand. Before he could feel happy, he hurriedly undid the little lock on the snowman’s butt and spent half the day trying to pour everything out.
Clunk~
Only one coin fell out.
Su Yin picked it up in despair. “And it’s only ten cents!” Dear god.
Then he went to dig out the second piggy bank. He found it under another quilt, and this one was even emptier, not even a ten cent coin inside.
He clearly remembered saving one and a half banks full. There hadn’t just been coins, but some old paper bills too, the extra wrinkled ones, and the New Year’s money he and Pei Weixue had exchanged.
There should have been at least five thousand yuan.
“Ten cents.” Su Yin’s voice trembled, then he laughed helplessly. “Hahahaha, ten cents.”
Right now, the first thing he needed to think about was where to dig up a cornucopia.