After staring gloomily at the piggy bank in his room for a long while, Su Yin finally pulled himself together. He planned to mooch a meal off his mom, then take his easel to the park and make a little money. Luckily, he still hadn’t forgotten how to draw, and sketching was still something he could do with ease.
When he was little, after Su Qingyue discovered he liked drawing, she had specifically enrolled him in art tutoring classes. Only later had he switched over to fashion design.
When he knocked on the door again, the smell of food hit him, and his stomach immediately growled. “Mom. I haven’t eaten yet.”
Su Qingyue fell silent for a moment, then stepped aside to let him in. “Out of money?”
Su Yin had just picked up a bowl and chopsticks when he nodded awkwardly. “Yeah. My bonuses and all that are gone.” The moment he started eating, he almost teared up. It was still the same familiar taste. “Mom. I know I’ve done a lot of wrong things and made you angry. I really will change.” He repented while eating.
No matter how wronged he felt, all he could do was endure it.
“Mom, do you know any kind of master or spiritual expert? I think I’ve been possessed or something. I want someone to take a look.”
Su Qingyue set a small dish of pickled radish beside Su Yin. “Possessed by what? Stop making excuses.” She didn’t believe in that kind of thing at all.
The purple pickled radish had been brined with purple cauliflower juice. Su Yin had always loved it, and Su Qingyue always kept some on hand. It didn’t cost much and wasn’t much trouble to make. If it had been some lavish delicacy, she really would have had to think twice. Since childhood, Su Yin had always been simple and unpretentious, not picky about food, housing, or daily necessities. The only thing he had standards for was clothing.
The apricot yellow silk vest she was wearing now was something Su Yin had made when he had just started college. The quality was excellent, and she had worn it all the way until now.
“Radish!” Su Yin’s eyes turned watery as he picked up a huge strip of shredded radish. Only after swallowing did he say, “I know you all think I’m pretending to have amnesia, but I’m really not pretending.”
Su Qingyue gave him a sidelong look over her bowl and chopsticks. “What, are you trying to say you’ve been possessed by a ghost?”
Su Yin choked a little and muttered under his breath, “You never know.”
“What did you say?”
Su Yin shook his head like a rattle drum. “N, no, nothing.”
Seeing how happily he was eating, Su Qingyue didn’t say anything else.
After dinner, Su Yin first made a clothing sample from memory according to Pei Weixue’s measurements, then at dusk slung his easel over his back and ran to set up a stall in Seaside Park.
How much should he charge per picture?
Before he had figured it out, someone had already come over to ask. It was a young man. “Do you draw full body or just the head?”
Su Yin set out a small stool. “Either is fine. I can also design clothes, depending on what you need. Twenty yuan for a full-body portrait. Ten yuan for just the face. For clothing design, fifty if the requirements aren’t many, a hundred if there are more.”
“Clothing design?” The young man seemed very interested and sat down on the little stool. “What kind of clothes can you design?”
Su Yin casually sized up the customer’s outfit. He looked either rich or powerful, dressed head to toe in custom pieces from internationally famous fashion brands, with accessories that were obviously expensive too. “That depends on what occasion you want to attend. But sir, you probably don’t really need me to design clothes for you, do you?” It made no sense for someone already wearing high fashion to come looking for roadside design work.
The young man propped up his chin. The little stool was somewhat cramped, and he looked oddly restrained sitting on it. His cuff slipped down, revealing a watch that was clearly no ordinary item from the logo alone. “I do. I’m going to see the person I love, and I’m afraid this outfit isn’t quite suitable. She likes how I looked when I was younger.”
“I see.” Su Yin took out his drawing board. So he wanted something simpler, but not too casual either. Passing by and spotting his little stall, he had decided to give his designs a try? “But after I finish the design, I don’t provide the sample-making for free. If you want it made, you can take it to a factory or a tailor shop.”
“You definitely know how to make it, right?” The young man took out his wallet and pulled out a small stack of bills, roughly about a thousand yuan at a glance. “This is all the cash I have on me for now. If I’m satisfied with the clothes you design, will that be enough for you to make me a set?”
Su Yin stared at that stack of bills, his eyes lighting up. “Sure, sure, sure. I’ll draw first. Tell me what kind of style you like.”
The young man leaned closer, his gaze falling on the paints and brushes. “There’s nothing in particular I like. Just tell me what I should wear if I want my confession to succeed.”
“Easy!” After studying his face, Su Yin agreed readily. Clothes for a confession could be considered one of his ‘specialties’. In his last design competition, his concept had come precisely from the process of accompanying Pei Weixue through treatment for his color blindness and illness.
It had also been the process of him gradually falling in love with Pei Weixue. Unable to struggle free, unable to see the colors of the world, and even his teachers had said Pei Weixue had chosen the wrong field, that having neither a feel for trends nor a sense of color was fatal. But Pei Weixue had still followed the inclinations of his heart. Even though walking that road was far harder for him than for ordinary people, he had remained firm the whole way.
Love was a steadfast choice.
An hour and a half later, Su Yin had designed an outfit tailored to the age of the person the confession was meant for, something not too rigid. Based on the customer’s skin tone, he chose black as the main color to brighten his complexion, slim his silhouette, and make him look more energetic.
“For the top, I think 16-gauge double-ply cashmere would be good. For the pants, a slightly stretchy wool blend will work, and it’ll prevent creasing at the knees.” As he explained, Su Yin wrote in his notebook. “Your neck is fairly long, so the neckline will use a small V-neck to show a moderate amount of skin. You could also pair it with a silver collarbone chain.”
“Do you like three-quarter sleeves?”
The young man listened with great interest. He didn’t understand much of this, but he understood that last question. “Can it be long sleeves? I was thinking maybe I could roll them up, wouldn’t that look cooler?”
Su Yin said, “Of course.” He wrote down the sleeve-length revision beside him. “I’ve designed a hidden elastic panel at the back waist, so the seams won’t split when you squat.”
It had been a long time since he had designed for someone else, so he was still a little nervous. He’d be willing to throw in today’s opening order for free if he had to, as long as he got a good review.
Otherwise, he really wouldn’t have any confidence in next month’s design competition.
“I like it a lot.” The young man took the design sketch and admired it for a long time. “Make it for me. How long until it’s finished?”
Su Yin answered honestly, “I don’t have my own studio or clothing shop. I do have these fabrics and materials, but they’re a bit old. Still, I can guarantee they’ll look new. As for the whole outfit, it’ll take three days. The price will be a bit higher too. Can you accept that?”
To his surprise, the young man agreed at once and even left a thousand-yuan deposit along with his contact information. Su Yin stared at the bills in his palm, a little unable to believe it. Wasn’t he afraid of running into a scammer?
Outside the park, the young man looked at the photo of the design sketch on his phone and zoomed in on the signature at the lower left.
A very neatly signed English name: vito.
After completing his first order, Su Yin wrote a price sign and set it beside him. Whenever people passed by, he called out to them, then took two more sketch commissions. Once he saw it was fully dark, he packed up and went home.
Carrying the easel on his back, he returned home and tidied up a little, only to find ingredients on the dining table, two pounds of pork ribs and some vegetables.
The moment Su Yin saw that little jar of pickled radish, his nose stung. Hugging the jar, he sat there feeling miserable for quite a while.
After a simple dinner, he shut himself straight into the studio. The sewing machine kept going until well past midnight before finally falling silent.
In the dead of night, the sound of the keypad lock being entered gave a soft chime.
Pei Weixue pushed the door open and walked in. He was carrying a lot of groceries, which he quietly placed into the refrigerator. As he was about to leave, he noticed the studio door was open.
Unable to resist his curiosity, he walked in and saw a design sketch, along with two half-finished garments. He touched the signature on the design.
vito. Su Yin’s professional name. At such a young age, he had already won many international design awards. He had been only one fashion show away from rising to fame.
And yet it had come to an abrupt end.
On the model to the left was a light-colored wool coat. He walked over, his fingertips gliding from the collar to the hem. It was still pinned all over to hold the shape in place.
It reminded him of certain memories from when he had modeled for Su Yin.
The tape measure had looped around his waist, his chest, his neck, his hips. They had been so close. Su Yin’s head had always hovered by his ear. It was an extremely intimate posture, yet somehow it had never felt uncomfortable.
“Weixue, you’re just too thin. Your chest measurement isn’t that big. Want to work out with me and build a little muscle?” After taking his measurements, Su Yin wrote them down. “Everything else is perfect. The lines of your thighs and calves are really smooth. My clothes will definitely look good on you.”
Pei Weixue had walked over to look at his notes. “Are you making this one for me?” He pointed at one of the sketches. He couldn’t distinguish the correct colors, but it looked quite nice.
“Yeah. I’m about to compete in the regional finals. The organizers may provide models, but contestants can bring their own too. Help me out, okay?” After finishing his notes, Su Yin braced both hands on the table, leaning back against the edge as he tilted his head up to look at Pei Weixue. “Help me, and I’ll give you all these clothes. What do you think?”
One stood straight-backed, while the other lounged lazily against the table. The light from above fell over them, and even their shadows seemed very close.
The corner of Pei Weixue’s lips lifted slightly. A soft, low chuckle rolled out, carrying a trace of delight. He bent down and met Su Yin’s gaze. There was only a palm’s distance between them. Facing Su Yin’s smiling eyes, he instead chose to play coy. “You really designed them for me?”
Su Yin arched a brow, lowered his head, and let out a muffled laugh. The sound seemed to come from deep in his chest, low and blurred, as if some unspeakable secret thought had flashed by and hidden itself away. “Naturally.” He turned around, picked up a piece of fabric, and held it against Pei Weixue. “Very beautiful. It suits you perfectly.”
At the time, Pei Weixue’s color blindness hadn’t improved yet, so he hadn’t understood why Su Yin would get that strange look on his face whenever he held fabric against him. He had thought the colors simply didn’t match very well.
Only later had Su Yin said, “The color of the fabric really flatters you. You look sweet enough to breathe in.” When he said it, he had been very solemn, very serious, and Pei Weixue had listened with complete attention.
Clearly it was offensive and frivolous, yet Su Yin’s expression had left him with no discomfort at all.
The fabric in his palm, the design sketches on the table, the ruler and scissors on the sewing machine, all of it was so familiar. What had seemed ordinary at the time had, over these past years, become something he could only long for and never have.
He put down the scissors and fabric, left the studio, and paused at the door to Su Yin’s bedroom, glancing sideways at it.
Will you really change?
He pressed down on the handle. As expected, the door wasn’t locked. He walked in. Inside the room, only a single cold beam of moonlight shone in through the window.
He walked to the window and saw Su Yin sleeping sprawled in the shape of a ‘大’. His brows immediately knit together. He stood there quietly for a long while before finally reaching out to pull the quilt up over Su Yin properly.
The late autumn wind was strong.
He bent down, the back of his hand lightly touching Su Yin’s brows and eyes, and thought to himself, I’m so afraid. So afraid that the you now is only a flower in the mirror, a moon in the water. So afraid that if I suddenly wake up, you’ll still be in love with someone else.