At that, the joy in Su Yin’s heart overflowed onto his face. He nodded several times in a row, like a dazed kid repeating Pei Weixue’s ‘Mm’ in the exact same tone, “Mm mm mm.” A little light, a little restrained.
“You!” Pei Weixue snapped and raised a hand. Su Yin took off running, and he hurried after him. “Dog Su Yin! Stop right there!” His legs weren’t as long as Su Yin’s. Since Su Yin designed clothes, he modeled his own work, and his figure was as perfect as the supermodels on the runway.
The wind lifted his shirt hem, and you could catch glimpses of his taut waist and the lines of his abs.
Pei Weixue had only one thing on his mind, catching Su Yin and pinning him to the ground for a beating. He actually dared mimic him! But no matter how he chased, he couldn’t catch up. Su Yin ran too fast, and Pei Weixue wasn’t as physically fit as he was. Yet for some reason, after running a while, Su Yin seemed to lose steam and slowed down. Pei Weixue couldn’t stop in time and slammed straight into him with his head, and the two of them went rolling across the grass.
“Are you okay?” Pei Weixue had landed on top of Su Yin. He braced himself on the ground and pushed up. “Are you okay?”
Su Yin patted the grass beside him. “I’m fine. Lie down and enjoy the breeze with me.”
Pei Weixue didn’t think much of it and lay down beside him, looking up at the starry sky.
Summer nights were filled with the chirring of cicadas, the whisper of the breeze passing by, and the voices of students on the field in twos and threes, exercising or taking walks together. It was noisy and yet quiet. Pei Weixue felt incredibly relaxed. It had been a long time since he’d looked at the stars this easily.
Only since meeting Su Yin had he felt this way.
So…
“Brother Yin.” He was a full year older than Su Yin.
He turned his head and met Su Yin’s surprised gaze, then called again, “Brother Yin.”
Grinning, Su Yin rolled onto his side to look at him. “You’re really happy today, huh.”
Pei Weixue nodded, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “Mm. Brother Yin, thank you. And thank your mom too.”
“If you call me brother, then my mom is your mom too. Let’s become sworn brothers in the peach garden!” Su Yin yanked Pei Weixue to his feet, all excitement over the idea of swearing brotherhood. He looked around. “Oh no, there’s no peach garden.” Not far away were two large banyan trees. “Then let’s swear under the banyan tree. Starting today, I’m your big brother.”
It was utterly ridiculous, but Pei Weixue still followed him beneath the banyan tree. They lit three matches, muttered away for quite a while, and then Su Yin asked him, “Fun?”
Pei Weixue nodded.
Su Yin draped an arm around him and said, “Since you call me brother, I’ll call you Xue’er.” He had wanted to call him that for ages. Pei Weixue’s skin was whiter than snow, and every color looked good on him. The first time Su Yin saw him, he was wearing purple pants and a red shirt, an outrageously mismatched combination, yet it still couldn’t hide how handsome he was.
Pei Weixue blinked a little awkwardly and nodded lightly. “Okay.”
Later on, Su Yin would always make time to drag him out whenever he didn’t have class. They played games together, climbed mountains together, watched the sea together, went to play basketball together. They sat together beneath the big banyan tree by the school field, drawing design drafts, doing web design, exchanging ideas, and he often took Pei Weixue home for meals.
Because of Su Yin, he almost never had episodes again. His mental state recovered quickly, and he almost stopped taking the medication that controlled his condition. Su Yin gave him a pair of contact lenses as a treatment aid, and by junior year, he gradually began to see color again.
He still remembered the moment he saw color again.
Blinding sunlight fell across his eyes. Pei Weixue slowly opened them, wanting to grab the remote and close the curtains. He didn’t notice the color of the sunlight, or the colors of the furnishings around him. Instead, he found himself staring straight into a pair of tea-brown eyes, with his own reflection mirrored in their pupils.
“Brother Yin.” He saw Su Yin’s crimson lips, his face full of healthy color, the corners of those eyes curved up as he smiled at him and asked, “You’re awake. Last night I got up to use the bathroom and saw your door wasn’t shut. I wanted to close it for you, but then I realized you’d kicked off your blanket, and I suddenly got a burst of design inspiration, so I stayed in your room drawing. You’re not mad, are you?”
He had been sitting quietly on the floor by the bed, drawing little by little. Sometimes he would spend a very long time just thinking through a single detail. Time flew, and before he knew it, dawn had broken. Hearing movement on the bed, he turned around.
Pei Weixue called again, “Brother Yin.” He sat up and reached for Su Yin’s hand. “I can see color.”
Su Yin didn’t process it at first when he heard him. “What did you say?!”
“I said, I can see color. Brother Yin, your eyes are tea-brown.” Pei Weixue thought to himself, So beautiful, beautiful enough to make you lose yourself. Su Yin leaped straight up, only to bang his head on the hanging lamp. With a cry of pain, he clutched his head and yelped. Pei Weixue jumped barefoot out of bed to steady him. “Where did you hit it? Where did you hit it?”
But after yelping twice, Su Yin grabbed Pei Weixue’s wrist and paid no attention to the injury at all. Pointing at the tree outside the window, he asked, “What color is that?”
“Yellow leaves, brown branches.”
“And what about that sports car? What color is it?”
“Red.”
Su Yin fired off question after question. At the end, he ran out in a rush, then ran back just as fast, now carrying a plate of sliced kiwi. “What color is this?”
Pei Weixue looked at him with a faint smile and pointed to the kiwi. “Golden flesh, red center.”
“Oh my god!” Su Yin set the plate down and wrapped his arms around Pei Weixue’s waist, spinning him in circles. “You really can see color now! That’s amazing! So great! Woo!”
He was so excited it was as if he were the one seeing color. Pei Weixue half wrapped an arm around Su Yin’s shoulder and quietly lifted a leg to hook it around his waist. Brother Yin, thank you.
He also remembered how, after graduation, Su Yin had dragged him beneath that banyan tree that carried so many memories. Clutching a love letter, nervous beyond measure, he said to him, “Weixue, I like you.”
Pei Weixue lowered his eyes and glanced over the letter, then stared at Su Yin. Big eyes, a straight nose, striking features, an easy swagger decorating his brows and eyes, disguising the nervousness he couldn’t quite hide. Pei Weixue raised a hand, and Su Yin’s heart shot up into his throat, his eyes opening even wider. It wasn’t until Pei Weixue took the letter and said to him, “I like you too,” that Su Yin finally let out a breath of relief, only to be instantly swept away by joy as he threw his arms around Pei Weixue. “That’s great, that’s great!”
Su Yin hit him hard enough to make him stagger. Pei Weixue’s hands lifted into the air. Looking at the letter, he let a faint smile show, then lowered his head, his lips brushing lightly over Su Yin’s hair. He could see that the sky was deep blue. He could see Su Yin’s tea-brown eyes. To him, they were a treasure.
After Su Yin set him down, he pulled him close and took a selfie with him. The two of them made peace signs at the camera. Behind them was the field, beside them the branches of the banyan tree, and above them the night sky, with the moon hanging high and silver-white moonlight spilling over their hair.
Hooking Big Snow: [Picture] Taken, don’t admire from afar.
“Isn’t your WeChat name a little…” Pei Weixue leaned his head against Su Yin’s as he looked at the phone screen, and the nickname made his vision go black.
Su Yin said smugly, “I’m already being very tactful. I could be way more direct. Xue’er, how about we move in together tomorrow?”
Pei Weixue pressed his lips together. “Aren’t we… already living together?”
“I mean in the same room.”
As soon as Su Yin posted it, the comments section exploded, and a whole bunch of people messaged him privately. His phone buzzed so much his hand was going numb before he finally heard Pei Weixue speak. The voice was too soft, and he didn’t catch it, so he leaned an ear closer. “What did you say?”
“Okay.” Pei Weixue looped an arm around his neck, his eyes curving into a smile. “I’ve wanted that for a long time too, Brother Yin.”
Su Yin deliberately asked, “Wanted what?”
Pei Weixue slid a hand over his collarbone. “Wanted to sleep with you. Wanted you to fuck me, wanted to fuck you.”
Su Yin whispered by his ear, “My big blade has long been thirsting for battle.”
They played games together all the time. It was a hero line from one of them, but in this moment it sounded unbearably suggestive. Pei Weixue looked at him and smiled. Su Yin looked at him and smiled.
But…
Almost the very next day, Su Yin’s passion vanished without the slightest warning.
*
As soon as he opened the door, Pei Weixue ran straight into Su Yin, dressed crisp and fresh. He knew Su Yin was going to see He Nan again, and suppressing the pain, he said, “Don’t go see him.” He hadn’t even finished speaking before he was cut off.
“What’s it to you?” Su Yin lowered his head and fastened his watch. The hem of his shirt was tucked into his suit pants and cinched by a belt. It wasn’t tight-fitting, a little loose, and when the sunlight hit the shirt, you could even make out the lines of the body beneath it. “If you’ve got the time, sign the divorce agreement.” He started toward the door, but someone grabbed him. Turning back, he met a pair of eyes full of sorrow. For an instant, he faltered, then immediately steadied himself and sneered. “What? Need a good fuck?”
Watching the color drain from Pei Weixue’s face, he shoved him away viciously. “Get the hell away from me. Someone like you, I wouldn’t even look twice at. You’re dead as a corpse all day, staring at a pile of code, not a shred of charm.”
“Su Yin.” Listening to those ugly words, Pei Weixue felt his heart twist with pain little by little. “What exactly did I do wrong?” How had things become like this?
Su Yin turned around and took two steps back toward him. Raising a hand, he patted him on the chest and lifted his chin. “Don’t put on that pathetic begging face. I don’t love you. I’ve said it hundreds of times, but you just can’t seem to remember.” He was utterly out of patience. “Three days left. If you won’t agree to a divorce, I’ll move out and sue you.”
With that, he turned and left. Pei Weixue wanted to grab him, but could only watch helplessly as his sleeve slipped through his fingertips.
The door opened, and Su Qingyue stood outside. “You’re going to see He Nan again, aren’t you?” She was carrying a whole bunch of kiwis. If she hadn’t come, who knew how heartsick Pei Weixue would have gotten.
Su Yin still looked as if he would do whatever he pleased. “I’m grown up. Why are you trying to control me? So what if I’m going to see him? If you’ve got so much free time, go find yourself a companion. Stop keeping your eyes on me all day.”
“You!”
“Su Yin!”
Pei Weixue hurried to Su Qingyue’s side and patted her back for her, reproach in his voice. “Su Yin, how can you talk to Mom like that?”
“If it really comes to it, then just pretend you don’t have a son.” Seeing that his mother was almost too angry to breathe, Su Yin’s expression didn’t change in the slightest. “I am going to see He Nan.” He looked at Pei Weixue. “I just hate you. You’re the one being shameless and refusing to divorce me.” Then he looked at the furious Su Qingyue. “And you too! Stop lecturing me.”
Smack!
The sharp crack of a slap cut Su Yin off. He rubbed his aching cheek, resistance and coldness churning together once more in his eyes, and finally said, “Done hitting me? Feel better? Then can you move?” He shoved both of them aside and strode off without another thought.
Behind him came Pei Weixue’s terrified cry. “Mom! Mom!” His body paused, and his head hurt a little, as if he were suppressing something. His chest felt tight. Tears welled up in his eyes, tears even he himself couldn’t understand. He wanted to turn back, but in the end he still disappeared quickly through the doorway.