"Wow— it hasn't even started yet and I already feel drained. Right?"
How long had I been standing there like that?
Coming to my senses at Jun-hyeok hyung's words as he nudged my side, I stretched my neck, already stiff, from side to side.
"I know. But hyung. Did you see the chairs over there, set out by grade?"
My eyes were stolen by the dazzling lights only for a moment. Seeing the seats arranged by grade in the middle of the stage, I felt my faith in humanity drain away.
Right. This is exactly how a survival show is supposed to go.
"Yeah. That's actually what's making me even more nervous."
Hyung answered while looking at the stage, wearing an expression like he'd lost every last bit of his faith in humanity too.
The seating, arranged in tiers like stairs, looked a lot like a company org chart at first glance.
Grade A reigned at the very top, with Grade B below it. And holding them up, as it were, Grades C and D split off into two wings on either side.
"Huh? The grades only go down to D?"
Right as I'd gotten that far, hyung muttered.
No way. If they were only going to split us down to D, dividing into grades would be pointless in the first place.
"......No. I think there are more."
As I remembered it, Recycle had no fewer than 6 grades, meaning they went all the way down to Grade F.
But Grades E and F, which would take up the most room, weren't even visible from below the stage, where I stood.
The coldness hidden beneath the glamour....... If I said in an interview later that I'd felt something like that, would those production-crew jerks be satisfied?
'Yeah. I like that line. Super tacky, but I like it.'
Super Strong Dragon chimed in to agree with my sarcasm. But the seating by grade really was as cold as could be.
Not being able to see them from here meant you could safely assume the bottom two grades had no raised tiers at all.
How was that any different from telling them not to even dream that their faces would be caught on camera from Grade E down?
"You're right......."
Just then, hyung, whom I'd forgotten about, spoke up again.
While I was grinding my teeth, he'd apparently walked around to the back, not quite daring to go up on the stage, and come back after confirming the grades stuck on the floor.
"With only 4 grades, it wouldn't be any fun."
"Jae-min. Saying fun is a bit......."
Hyung quickly turned his head and checked around us in case anyone had heard me, trying to shut me up.
"But it's true."
Of course, the problem is that that wasn't enough to shut my mouth.
"......."
Jun-hyeok hyung, watching me shrug, pressed his lips tight. His expression looked like he had plenty to say, but I pretended not to notice to the end.
The lofty-sounding excuse of giving a chance to people who never achieved their dreams. Wasn't it something both viewers and contestants already knew, before it even started, that the only real goal hidden inside was entertainment?
Besides, a lot worse is going to happen from here on, so it'd be a problem if you got shocked starting here, Jun-hyeok hyung.
"Even so......."
Wee-oong—
Jun-hyeok hyung, who went through life on the principle of as long as everyone's happy, it's all good— tried once more to make me repent, but right on cue, a staff member switched on a mini megaphone.
"We'll begin the headcount."
And soon, next to the staff member speaking stood three boxes in a row. I guessed they held name tags showing affiliation and name.
"Hyung. Looks like it's roll call. Let's hurry."
"......Okay."
Having been staring at the boxes, I hurried along hyung, who was surely thinking the same thing I was. Having missed his chance to nag, hyung let his shoulders drop and sighed.
"When your name is called, come up here, take your name tag, check it, and stick it right on your stomach. If it doesn't stick well or falls off, be sure to tell us."
"Yeees—"
"Yes."
They answer even something like this, every single one.
There'd be people who looked pretty different from how I remembered them, so if they were going to hand out name tags too, thank you very much.
Hm. Then they'll go in alphabetical order, then by Korean consonant.......
"AP Entertainment, Mr. Jeong Jun-hyeok. Mr. Lee Jae-min."
See? Told you.
No, but seriously. Why does nobody get that the alphabet coming before Hangul is a problem in itself?
"Yes."
"Yes."
Once hyung and I had answered side by side, raising our hands lightly, a stir began in the set, which had gone quiet for a moment.
"AP? Didn't they say they had kids debuting this time?"
"There'd be plenty besides them. That's the place with the most trainees buried in it."
"Ahh—"
Getting past this much whispering didn't even take a smile. So many idols had debuted this season anyway, so why nitpick something like that?
They came here because they couldn't debut either, so I didn't get why they were picking at stuff like that.
When I glanced at hyung's face, he didn't look particularly bothered either. Maybe his years of knocking around this industry were paying off.
"Duri Entertainment, Mr. Kim Mun-hyeong."
"Yes."
The murmuring, which I'd thought would only grow as the headcount went on, died down at some point. Soon, all that filled the set was the staff member's calls and the answers of the people called, one after another.
"Mr. ~."
"Yes."
Once this was over, the recording would really start, so it seemed the tension had finally caught up with everyone.
"......."
Of course, I was one of the nervous ones too.
Wow— I missed all the names I really needed to hear in the middle. This is bad.
'That's a surprise. I didn't think you'd get nervous or anything.'
The dragon spoke in my head, as if it was genuinely surprised.
Isn't getting nervous normal? This is my first time at something like this too. Before, I never even got the chance to go on one!
"Hoseong Music, Mr. Yeo Eun-gi."
Meanwhile, the headcount was racing toward its end. But no answer came back to the staff member's call.
Yeo Eun-gi. Yeo Eun-gi....... Yeo Eun-gi? Yeo Eun-giii?!
'What? Someone you know?'
As I chewed over the oddly familiar name and made a startled face, the dragon took the bait.
Of course I know him! He never saw the light of day here because of his agency, but after this show, he terminates his contract and hits it big as a soloist.
'Hm. I don't know about all that....... Doesn't it seem like he didn't come?'
No way. Coming this far means he'd obviously want to debut as desperately as hyung and me, right?
I couldn't understand what Super Strong Dragon was saying. Why on earth would it think he hadn't come?
'I've been thinking this for a while, but for someone who's been through what you've been through, you're pretty narrow-minded.'
Me?
As I half-listened to the out-of-nowhere remark and searched for Yeo Eun-gi, the dragon kept talking.
'Come on, you must have seen it plenty. The stuff they pull when an agency wants to get its name out but doesn't want to burn through the image of the kids who look like they'll make it. As long as you're bound by a contract, if they tell you to go on, you have to, even if you don't want to. You know that much, right?'
But why was the long-winded stuff it rambled on about before that bugging me more than the question of whether I knew? Hey, don't tell me you're trying to say Yeo Eun-gi didn't want to come and got pushed into it?
"Mr. Yeo Eun-gi? Hoseong Music, Mr. Yeo Eun-gi. If you're not here, we'll move on to the next."
Just then, the staff member called for Yeo Eun-gi once more.
'Well. I'm saying it's possible. Anyway, seeing how he's not showing up even with them calling like that, isn't it quite possible? Besides, even if he didn't come, there are plenty of people to replace him.'
People to replace him.
I knew not everyone standing outside the door was agency staff, but I'd never thought they'd come planning to fill any empty spot from the start.
"......."
Having lost even the will to answer, I just stared at the set entrance. I prayed he'd show up, even late.
There's no one but Yeo Eun-gi I want as our rapper!
"H-Here! I'm here!"
"Phew—"
Just as the staff member rolled up the list and turned around, someone far away shot his hand up and came running forward, shouting. And confirming that his face was the Yeo Eun-gi I knew, I let out a sigh before I knew it.
"Someone you know?"
Hearing me sigh, Jun-hyeok hyung nudged my arm and asked, and I shook my head.
The Yeo Eun-gi of right now wouldn't have shown his face anywhere yet, so it'd be way too strange if I said I knew him.
"No. It's just, he came all this way, so it'd be a real waste if he couldn't be on the show just because he checked in a little late."
"True, that's fair."
Luckily, hyung agreed with me quickly.
Like Super Strong Dragon said, there'd be people who'd been pushed into coming against their will, but most would be here because they wanted to debut as badly as we did.
"Okay. All contestants have been confirmed. In ten minutes, we'll do a quick rehearsal and then go straight into filming. Please stay where you are."
A moment later, the staff member's mini megaphone went to work once again.
Pretending not to see Yeo Eun-gi flinch once while catching his breath at the words stay where you are, I whispered to hyung.
"There's a rehearsal too?"
"Well, just blocking, probably. Most people will be going up there for the first time. Like you and me."
"Heheh—"
Answering hyung's sheepish words with a laugh, I looked at the stage, still only half visible but sparkling all the same.
I used to think I'd get to go up on that stage someday. It ended without me ever setting foot on it, though.
When I raised my head, the name of the survival program, which I hadn't seen until a moment ago, caught my eye.
They'd stamped it that big behind the Grade A seat block, so why hadn't I seen it until now? They'd even put in a green triangle shaped a lot like a recycling symbol.
"Recycle......."
"How many times do I have to tell you it's Star Recycle?"
Hearing me mutter, Jun-hyeok hyung scolded me. At times like this, the way he acts is a lot like Super Strong Dragon.
"It's too long to say the whole thing. Besides, it's recycling either way."
"Jae-min."
The fans are all going to shorten it anyway, so what's the point of us saying it in full? But I couldn't say that out loud, because I figured hyung already knew that much too.
He was just pretending not to know, no matter what.
"Yes, yes. I know. Watch your actions, watch your mouth. You're going to say that's what it takes to survive, right?"
Anyway, it was the hyung I relied on most, then and now, calling me, so I should answer properly.
"You know, and you still act like that?"
"Yes. I act like this because I know."
"Sheesh—"
At my confident answer, hyung shook his head. Yet the one who's most frustrated here is me, since I can't say anything.
I wonder when he'll understand that I'm like this because I know everything.
'Jeong Jun-hyeok will never know. Honestly, with that personality, even if you told him you came back, he'd never believe you, would he?'
The dragon, which never misses a chance to tease me, popped out again. But this time, I had no choice but to admit it.
Hyung is the kind of person who'd drag me to a hospital the second I started talking about something like that.
"All right. Shall we go, then?"
"Huh? Uh, wh-where to?"
Did I actually say that out loud? No, but still, he wouldn't drag me to a hospital after coming all this way, would he?
I was so flustered my voice cracked.
But at hyung's next words, I swallowed back the heart that had been about to leap out of my mouth.
"Did you forget? We were number 1 on roll call. We've got to rehearse."
"Yep!"
Right. Now— let's go rehearse!
'Playing innocent won't help. I already saw right through you, you know?'
Yeah, yeah. Aren't you just so great!