"I saw it coming. A cutie group. There's no way I'd fit in."
Just as Jun-hyeok hyung had said, Chief Park spouted bullshit about a 'cutie concept' leaving him no choice, and picked out the debut members.
And hyung and I weren't among those members. Naturally.
Because I hadn't done anything yet.
"Why? You're cute in your own way, hyung."
"You brat! Like you said, let's make sure we debut together next time."
"Yeah. Together, for sure."
My goal, now that I'm back at 20, isn't a group like that.
Jun-hyeok hyung looked disappointed, but before long, even he would think it was lucky he hadn't debuted with that group.
Because 3 months after their debut, the leader gets caught drunk driving and the whole group goes on indefinite hiatus.
And not one member of that group made a comeback until the day I got kicked out. If every condition except me is the same, it could happen again this time, so there's no harm in steering clear.
"Well, good work today. See you tomorrow."
"Okay, hyung. Go get some rest too."
After that, we ground away in the practice room for 3 more hours and only left the company once the sun had set. Even so, hyung looked far more at ease as he headed home.
All right, then, shall I head home too?
***
Beep-beep-beep—
"My sweet home!"
Who knew never having moved during my trainee years would be this convenient. Opening the door, relieved at the familiar sight, I lay down on the bed without even taking off my clothes.
What surprised me, though, was that until recently I'd collapse asleep the moment I got home, yet now I still had stamina left.
"I'm hungry, sure, but my stamina seems fine. Is it because I got younger?"
"They don't say youth beats everything for nothing. So how was your first day back-yong?"
Just then, the being I'd forgotten about appeared before my eyes.
I take back what I just said. Suddenly I'm exhausted.
"......Don't tell me I really died?"
But before I could even properly feel that fatigue, I sat up and perched on the edge of the bed. I couldn't quite decide whether to count it as a silver lining that the life flashing before my eyes had been hyung.
"No? I told you, you just came back? Dead people scare dragons too-yong!"
Then the blue dragon flapped its wings and let out a shriek.
"So you're saying I really went back to when I was twenty?"
"Ah, seriously! Maybe I should just slap you with a penalty!"
"Why on earth?"
Had it gotten tired of the repeated questions? The dragon abruptly folded its wings and flopped onto the bed. But no matter how hard I tried to calm down, I just couldn't.
Honestly, wouldn't anyone panic, suddenly running into a situation like this?
"Are you a bit slow, by any chance? You trashed my novel, Jae-min-nim! So I brought you here to see how well you'd do yourself-yong!"
A moment later, the dragon let out a big sigh, shook its head, and gave its answer.
It was a reason I'd heard before, so I could nod along once, but another question popping up was beyond my control.
"......That's, the reason?"
"Well, do you need some other reason-yong?"
But watching the dragon pout and force its short arms into a cross, I couldn't really think of anything else. The dragon effect is something else.
Another reason? I don't need anything like that. If anything, I'm the one who should be grateful for being brought here.
But let's point out one thing. Just one.
"Fine. I'm sorry I trashed it. But that yong-yong thing, is it some kind of passive skill?"
"No way-yong! I only do it in case you won't believe I'm a dragon otherwise-yong!"
Super Strong Dragon. The name itself says dragon, plus the flapping wings. With a look like that, you'd have to believe it was a dragon even without the weird verbal tic, so what was it even talking about?
Its being blue still bugged me, but beyond that, it was a dragon with a knack for leaving people dazed in all sorts of ways.
"I believe you. I believe you, so could you please drop the goddamn yong-yong?"
Pulling myself together, I tried asking once more. At this rate, I felt like I'd start going yong-yong myself.
Then Super Strong Dragon, which had been staring at me, let out a sigh and opened its mouth.
"Suit yourself."
"Huh?"
Isn't that attitude switch a little too fast? The dragon looked up at my flustered face and scowled.
"You told me to quit the yong-yong. Or should I do it again?"
"Ah— no."
I told it to stop the yong-yong. I don't think I ever told it to talk down to me.
"Ahem, ahem! First, there's something I want to ask—"
Anyway, I'd succeeded in adjusting its speech, so now I wanted to settle a few other things.
"Denied."
"Hey! You didn't even hear it!"
Of course, this time I got blocked before I could even get to the point.
Geez, razor-sharp for no good reason!
"I don't need to hear it; it's obvious. Whether I'm really a dragon? Why you, when countless humans must've trashed it? That's the kind of stuff you'd ask."
"......."
"Humans always ask stuff like that. Can't you just let it go?"
At Super Strong Dragon's next words, I clamped my mouth shut.
That bastard's smart. Look at how it leaves the human listening with nothing to say.
"Ahem. Then what can you do for me from now on?"
I'd heard the reason, roughly(?), so now it was time to talk real business. But why did that thing's expression look even more sour than before?
"Is this some human trait? You pull someone out of the water and they demand their bundle back too?"
Ah. It wasn't just the expression. It really was pretty sour.
On top of that, everything out of its mouth was right, so I couldn't even argue, and that felt really weird.
"I don't need the bundle either. I was just curious. But does that mean you have to change how you talk? Dropping the polite speech, too."
"Got a problem?"
"No. Honestly, I'm more comfortable with this too."
Honestly, I did have a problem with it, but I didn't know how it would react if I said so, so I lied a little. The comfortable part was true.
Where do I even start— I was racking my brain when the dragon broke the ice first.
"You probably know more about what's going to happen than I do, right?"
I'll give it that. I saw and went through those things myself in the place I belonged to, so I can't help but know them better than anyone.
"I guess so. Then what do you know?"
"The stories hidden inside it. The things you, or only you, didn't know."
I asked lightly, and a heavy answer came back. It was impressive that it could give off that kind of pressure while looking like that. A dragon's a dragon, I guess.
But things I didn't know? Did I really need to know what I hadn't known?
After some thought, I let out a long breath and asked.
"For example?"
"You. Did you ever hear from Jeong Jun-hyeok after he left the company?"
Why is Jun-hyeok hyung coming up here all of a sudden? It's unsettling.
"For a few months."
"And after that?"
"Huh?"
Now that I think about it, for about the first month he did reply well. He said he'd gone back to his hometown to help with his father's work, and even told me to come visit when I had time.
But once it passed 2 months, the gaps between replies grew longer, and at some point I couldn't reach him at all. I was young back then and felt more hurt than anything, so I stopped reaching out too.
Could it be— there was a reason hyung had no choice but to avoid me?
When my thoughts reached that point, my head snapped up on its own. Then, as if it had been waiting, the dragon opened its mouth.
"After leaving the company, Jeong Jun-hyeok gets conned by a swindler who promises to debut him as a soloist and loses his entire housing deposit. After that, he can't even go back to his hometown; he just scrapes by on part-time jobs and drinking. What comes after....... Want me to keep going?"
"No. That's enough."
I don't want to know. No, it's a story I don't need to hear. Because hyung's future is going to change.
"So, what are you planning to do from here?"
Having explained the hidden stories more effectively than anything else could, the dragon asked me. I had to rummage through my memory for a moment to answer that question.
"First, since the debut lineup came out today, AP won't be debuting a new group for the next year."
"So you're going to sit around sucking your thumb till then? That's how you're going to spend the time I went to the trouble of turning back?"
Look at the way it talks.
"No way. There's a recycling show starting on MTV in 2 months. I'm going on it."
"Recycling? What, you figure you'll never make it as an idol, so you're giving up early to pick up trash?"
Instead of answering the scathing remark, I stared at the dragon. At the blue lump sitting beside me, no longer even flapping its wings.
"Is this your real personality?"
"What's wrong with my personality?"
I was starting to think it might have been better when it was going yong-yong and acting cute.
Let's just finish what I was saying for now.
"The official program title is 'Recycle.' But the cast and the fans all just called it recycling. Not that they were wrong."
For a program built on gathering long-term trainees who never debuted and idols who debuted and flopped, to debut them as a new group, there was no more fitting nickname.
"I'm going to apply with Jun-hyeok hyung."
In the past, Jun-hyeok hyung went on Recycle alone and didn't debut there either. After that, he wandered for 2 more years before ending his contract.
But this time, I'm going to get hyung to debut. And alongside me, at that.
"It has to be now. I remembered a reason I absolutely have to go."
"What's that?"
The dragon, which had apparently lost interest as the talk dragged on and was busy with something else, finally turned its head. I spoke in a voice more certain than ever before.
"Our members are there."
***
Adjusting to the rewound time was easier than I'd thought. Maybe it was because nothing much had changed from my usual routine.
A trainee's day is just opening your eyes, clocking in at the practice room, and practicing over and over.
"Jae-min, over here!"
If anything had changed, it was that unlike a few days ago, when no one would come near me, now I had hyung. That alone seemed to put strength back in my body.
'That's because you got younger, I'm telling you.'
It'd be perfect if not for this dragon that tries to take over my head at all hours.
"Hyung. You're here early."
"I have to at least do that much."
What went unsaid was: how would it look if a long-term trainee who only took up space showed up late on top of that? Despite saying so, Jun-hyeok hyung took his lessons more passionately than anyone.
"I'm sorry! Could I try this part just one more time?"
He didn't know the meaning of giving up, not even in dance lessons, where his results showed the least.
"Good. One, two, three!"
Even Coach Bae, who'd been scowling the entire lesson, eased up and played the track again. That said it all.
As I watched hyung start moving again from the basics, the dragon asked me.
'Did you work that hard too?'
"No."
The answer popped out before I could even think about it.
When I'd been a trainee for a year and my dancing still wasn't improving, I realized it for certain. I'd been born a klutz from the very start— that was my conclusion.
It was a fact I knew so well that I admitted I couldn't dance even while arguing with Chief Park. But I had never once thought of building up from the basics, the way hyung was doing now.
Instead, I dug deeper into only what I was good at. Composing, writing lyrics, singing. I figured they'd end up a stronger weapon than dancing.
Not knowing they'd turn into poison instead. Like an idiot.
"But this time it'll be different."
I raised my hand and stepped forward.
"Coach! Please look at me too!"
"Lee Jae-min? What's gotten into you?"
Coach Bae's eyes went wide. No surprise, seeing as I'd always been expected to just hide by the wall.
I pulled up the corners of my mouth.
"I've got to debut too."
"Pfft!"
"Seriously?"
At the same time, dry laughs and sneers burst out here and there.
The guy who always came dead last in dance was swaggering about debuting, so no wonder they were stunned. But the road I'd walked was a little too rough for something like that to hurt.
"Who just laughed?"
Besides, Coach Bae liked kids who took on a challenge, even if they lagged a little behind, more than kids who were good.
'A little?'
Hah— even with a beat pounding through the practice room, why can't that dragon's voice get drowned out? It's a mystery I'll never figure out.