No, I need to find an opportunity tonight to coordinate with Dou Dou. He has to keep a close eye on his older brother at the very least, make sure he doesn’t get taken advantage of too easily.
Stripped completely bare of clothes, the little fellow was currently sitting squarely atop Xie Xiran’s abdomen, staring down at him with an expression of intense, solemn gravity. “You might as well name your price.”
Evil mothers-in-law possessed wealth and power, and Dou Dou had money too—humph, his papa was rich!
Xie Xiran was caught between tears and laughter. “Why haven’t you given up yet? Big brother promises you, I’ll only treat Shushu well in the future… no, I’ll treat Dou Dou well too, and I’ll never hurt either of you. Big brother can swear on it.”
“Swearing is the most useless thing in the world. The scumbags in TV dramas love swearing oaths the most.” Dou Dou refused to be duped so easily.
“You really have been watching TV dramas.” Xie Xiran finally understood why the kid’s phrasing felt so bizarre.
Reaching out, Xie Xiran scooped up some soap bubbles in his palm and began smearing them across the child’s body.
Dou Dou instantly shrieked: “Ahhh, it’s tickling~ it hurts~”
Hiss, he had previously scratched a patch of skin raw on his neck, and now any direct contact stung like fire.
Xie Xiran quickly softened his movements. “Let’s finish your bath first, and we can talk things over properly once you see your older brother later.”
Hearing Xie Xiran drop Shushu’s name made Dou Dou experience a twinge of guilty conscience, his eyes darting evasively around the room.
Oh god, my butt is definitely going to get paddled.
“This is your chance to prove yourself; Dou Dou is going to test whether you’re genuinely good to Dou Dou or not,” Dou Dou declared with tragic solemnity.
He pressed a small hand against his forehead, looking like a catastrophic disaster was about to strike.
Amused by the child’s desperate imitation of an authoritative adult, Xie Xiran chuckled softly. “What is it?”
“Shushu is going to explode. If what just happened gets broadcasted and Shushu finds out…”
Dou Dou was completely doomed.
Xie Xiran’s expression shifted as well. Supporting the bubble-covered Dou Dou, he swallowed hard. “Big brother might be doomed, too…”
The two exchanged a helpless glance: Sigh.
At least on this front, neither of them was escaping scot-free.
Xie Xiran had previously promised that their romantic relationship would remain strictly under wraps, yet barely two days into the child-rearing show, the entire internet was clued in.
Shushu had always maintained a low-profile demeanor; who knew how he would react?
Xie Xiran suddenly felt his head throbbing with stress.
However, his primary underlying goal had been reached ahead of schedule, so from this point onward, his sole focus would be coaxing Shushu back into a good mood.
Distracted by anxiety, Xie Xiran accidentally used body wash to shampoo Dou Dou’s hair.
Watching the man smear the lather directly over his head, Dou Dou shook his little locks in protest. “Are you an idiot?”
Could he seriously not tell the difference between body wash and shampoo?
One bottle was blue, and the other was pink even if Dou Dou couldn’t read words yet, he could easily tell them apart.
Unfortunately, it was already too late, and to make matters worse, the suds tragically managed to seep right into Dou Dou’s eyes.
Freaking out, Dou Dou wailed: “Ahhhh, you’re so stupid! Our Bai family can’t afford to keep someone as clumsy as you we’re breaking up!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Big brother didn’t mean to!”
The viewers who had been squatting quietly in the live stream just to eavesdrop on the private dialogue suddenly caught this frantic outburst, instantly perking up with renewed energy.
[Hahahaha, what did Xie-ge mess up this time? Dou Dou is losing his temper at him again.]
[I have a feeling “breaking up” is going to become Dou Dou’s permanent catchphrase.]
[What is wrong with Xie-ge? Does he even want to cross the threshold into the Bai family home?]
[Damn, Xie-ge’s apology sounds so humble, hahahahaha.]
[To think I’d live to see the day someone talks to Xie-ge like this and it’s coming from a three-year-old toddler. I’m dying of laughter.]
Chaos reigned supreme inside the bathroom.
With eyes flushed red, Dou Dou glared at Xie Xiran. This guy is completely useless; I’m going to have to sit Shushu down later and give him a serious warning.
Over in the opposite corridor, Bai Shushu was holding Xie Zhiyi’s tiny hand, busy spilling all of Dou Dou’s dark history.
“Dou Dou is a little chubby, but he hates it when people call him fat. He threw a massive tantrum over it once and threatened to go on a strict diet, but he completely forgot all about the plan within half an hour, only to start crying buckets of tears the next day when he remembered.”
“Dou Dou isn’t fat; those are just cute little baby fat cheeks.”
In Xie Zhiyi’s eyes, chubby little Dou Dou was the absolute cutest thing in the entire world.
Bai Shushu felt momentarily choked up by the response. How is Zhiyi even clingier and more hopelessly biased than Xie Xiran?
Xie Xiran’s conversational skills didn’t even hold a candle to his younger brother’s.
Xie Zhiyi pressed forward: “Zhiyi likes younger brother. Can I sleep with younger brother tonight? I’m going to grow strong muscles in the future, too.”
As he spoke, he rubbed his own soft little belly he was just a bit too small right now.
Bai Shushu: ……
What on earth was up with kids these days?
Struggling for a moment to find an appropriate response, Bai Shushu realized he was completely stumped by the little fellow’s logic: “Uh, you’ll have to ask Dou Dou about that.”
“Mhm mhm, you can sleep with my big brother tonight. My big brother said big people hang out with big people, and little people hang out with little people.”
Xie Zhiyi mercilessly sold out his own older brother without a second thought.
Bai Shushu: “…… Your big brother was talking nonsense.”
Did Xie Xiran actually say something like that behind closed doors?
Bai Shushu felt a sudden rush of heat flushing up his cheeks, rendering him momentarily incapable of figuring out how to walk properly.
The live stream audience had just finished absorbing the previous bombshell, only to be hit immediately by Xie Zhiyi’s unfiltered commentary.
[Oh my god, Xie-ge is definitely a master-level green tea! Sweet-talking Zhiyi like that while acting all pitiful in front of Shushu earlier.]
[Xie-ge is unmatched. At this point, it feels totally normal that Xie-ge could say something like that wait, is something wrong with me?]
[Xie-ge’s public persona has essentially completely disintegrated over the last two days, but hey, he’s pulling out all the stops to chase his wife.]
[After all, Xie-ge is older than Shushu, while Shushu is so well-behaved, gorgeous, and prone to blushing easily. Xie-ge really has to step up and be proactive.]
[I can only say: thank goodness Dou Dou is here, otherwise I’d genuinely worry about Shushu getting eaten up completely bone and marrow.]
[Who would have thought Shushu was the one we actually needed to worry about?]
Walking and chatting along the corridor, Xie Zhiyi spilled beans like a leaking grain sack, dropping endless details about how Xie Xiran had been stalking their household like an obsessed fan.
“Huh? You guys watched our live stream again after getting home yesterday?” Bai Shushu was startled.
Then, a sudden wave of panic washed over him. That was way too obvious! No, he needed to find an opportunity to remind Xie Xiran.
They had to keep things under wraps from everyone else!
Under no circumstances could his relationship with Xie Xiran get exposed to the public; otherwise, it might cause serious fallout for Xie Xiran’s career.
Bai Shushu had zero intention of holding back Xie Xiran’s professional trajectory.
Suddenly, Bai Shushu realized that romantic relationships were an incredible hassle—especially since their program was broadcasting live the entire time. If any complications arose, Bai Shushu honestly had no clue how he was supposed to handle them.
Holding Xie Zhiyi’s hand, Bai Shushu felt a massive headache coming on.
Sensing that Shushu-ge beside him had suddenly grown quiet and emotionally deflated, Xie Zhiyi scratched his head, wondering if he had accidentally said something wrong.
However, the moment they reached the room to pick out Dou Dou’s clothes, his attention was instantly captured by Dou Dou’s wardrobe.
“Does Dou Dou usually wear clothes with little chicks on them?” There was a cute little chicken tail stitched onto the back, and a chicken head perched right on top of the hood.
“This is his pajamas; he’s obsessed with this style, so let’s just grab this one.” Thinking of his adorable younger brother, Bai Shushu couldn’t resist wanting to see the kid dressed up in his little chicken suit.
“Okay~”
Unfortunately, Xie Zhiyi was more than a year older than Dou Dou; otherwise, Bai Shushu would have loved to find a matching set for him to wear as well.
Xie Zhiyi had never seen such cute animal-themed clothing before, locking the image firmly in his mind so he could demand his parents buy him one when he got back.
Just as Xie Zhiyi was holding his younger brother’s pajamas, Bai Shushu’s phone began to ring.
Manager Hua was originally sitting comfortably in a high-level corporate meeting, planning to secure several commercial endorsements for Bai Shushu to help him shed his ultra-laid-back reputation.
Until her phone started blowing up with notifications.
Bai Shushu looked like a quiet, well-behaved individual on the surface, yet he had secretly gone behind her back to pull off a massive stunt.
He was actually dating Xie Xiran!
Dating was one thing couldn’t they keep it on the down low?!
Xie Xiran and Dou Dou had gone ahead and accidentally spilled the beans, exposing everything directly in the middle of a live broadcast.
“What on earth are you two doing?! Furthermore, Bai Shushu, I’ve told you before: if you enter a relationship, you must report it to me first. Instead, I had to find out from someone else, and right now the two of you are already trending at the top of the hot search charts!” Manager Hua was practically fuming mad.
Just a second ago, she had been bragging to the CEO about how obedient and well-behaved Bai Shushu was.
And the very next second, reality slapped her hard across the face.
Moreover, the situation had erupted so abruptly that they had prepared zero public relations response strategies in advance.
Looking completely bewildered, Bai Shushu asked, “What happened?”
Manager Hua laughed out of sheer fury. “Dou Dou and Xie Xiran exposed your relationship to the entire internet!”
Bai Shushu: ？？？
“Impossible, we just parted ways a moment ago.”
“It happened precisely during the moment you parted ways, Dou Dou…”
Thinking back to Dou Dou’s performance, Manager Hua almost wanted to laugh, though the timing and context were completely inappropriate.
“Never mind, let me contact Xie Xiran’s side first and figure out how to handle this.”
Flipping through the public commentary, Manager Hua noticed that public sentiment didn’t actually seem all that hostile.
Her tone softened slightly. “Don’t worry about it for now; I’ll get in touch with you shortly.”
With that, she hung up the phone, resigning herself to the reality of the situation.
Manager Hua might have accepted it, but Bai Shushu certainly hadn’t.
Although the live stream audience couldn’t hear the audio coming through the phone receiver, Xie Zhiyi had been squatting right beside him.
Having heard the entire conversation unfold, Xie Zhiyi opened his eyes wide and stared up at the shocked Shushu-ge in awe: “Ge-ge, did you and my older brother get together?”
A trace of uncontainable joy and relief bled through the child’s tone, plastered in a wide smile that stretched from ear to ear.
Staring at Xie Zhiyi, who looked utterly thrilled, Bai Shushu asked, “You aren’t opposed to it?”
Why was everyone else so much more accepting than Dou Dou?
Xie Zhiyi slapped his own thigh. “Once you’re together with my older brother, won’t Dou Dou and I be even closer relatives in the future?”
With this connection established, he could casually hang out with Dou Dou whenever he wanted.
Xie Zhiyi gave a two-handed thumbs-up of absolute endorsement.
Bai Shushu: …… It felt an awful lot like he was nothing more than an instrumental utility tool in this equation.
[Hahahaha, well done Zhiyi! So young, yet so smooth at playing the long game.]