Crossing his arms with the air of an overbearing mother-in-law, Dou Dou tapped his little foot against the floor. “There are only the two of us here, so I’ll be straight with you: you two won’t have a good ending. You’re going to end up liking someone else in the future and hurting Shushu, making Shushu cry.”
Using the stance of someone who had seen it all, Dou Dou attempted to reason with Xie Xiran.
Although Xie Xiran felt like he was playing house with a toddler, he replied with complete earnestness: “That won’t happen. I’ve always only ever liked Shushu alone.”
Dou Dou wanted to retort with a firm No, you won’t!
Before he could, Xie Xiran pointed a finger toward the camera. “Besides, I don’t think there are just two of us here.”
There were likely millions of viewers outside the live stream right now.
Dou Dou: 😲!!
[***! Oh my god, oh my god, is there something wrong with my ears?!]
[This is a live broadcast!! Big bro, leader!! It’s one thing that Dou Dou is little, but regardless of whether it’s true or not, you shouldn’t just admit to it like that!]
[Xie-ge’s team is going to hate him to death. The boss takes a vacation to join a variety show, and he ends up pulling off a massive stunt right out of the gate.]
[Don’t even mention it; the director of the child-rearing variety show must have a massive headache looking at the live stream right now. Xie-ge’s schedule this trip was already looking super abnormal—sure enough, something happened.]
[Normally, when everyone was nagging Xie-ge to get married, he wouldn’t make a single peep. But now, he quietly drops a massive bomb out of nowhere.]
[I wonder what Shushu’s reaction is? His younger brother and his boyfriend just sold him out completely.]
[Shushu is going to be fuming to death. It looks like he didn’t really want to make things public yet.]
[Wuwuwu, I’m about to die from sweetness. The CP I just started shipping has just been officially confirmed by the principals themselves.]
[This is the fastest public relationship announcement for a CP I’ve ever shipped; I feel like I’m dreaming the whole thing.]
“Then does that mean Dou Dou’s whole body was seen by everyone?!” Dou Dou covered his bare upper body with his small hands, looking utterly shocked.
As he spoke, he leaned closer toward Xie Xiran, tugging at the man’s pant leg to shield himself.
Picking up the little kid, Xie Xiran waved the check in his hand and cruelly enlightened the child to a hard fact: “Dou Dou, this isn’t even a million bucks, and checks can’t be folded into little paper boats either.”
“Nonsense, Dou Dou can totally fold it into a little paper boat.”
Folding paper boats was literally the only skill Dou Dou had learned during his previous stint at kindergarten.
Xie Xiran chuckled. “A check loses all its value once it’s folded up. Plus, having a check is useless on its own; it needs to be stamped and signed. You aren’t allowed to take things from home without asking next time. Your family is going to worry, and your little bottom is going to get a beating, too.”
Tapping the tip of Dou Dou’s button nose, Xie Xiran carried the shy little kid toward the bathroom.
Dou Dou finally caught the drift: the big bad villain thought the check was fake and ruined because he messed it up, rendering it unusable.
“Are you upset because the check isn’t real? As long as you agree to break up with Dou Dou, I can immediately call someone to bring money over.” Don’t look at how Dou Dou was currently empty-handed; he could always beg his papa and mama.
Dou Dou spoke with the demeanor of a spoiled young master, his eyes glancing sideways at Xie Xiran. “As long as you agree, Dou Dou guarantees what you get will be even more than what you have now.”
Dou Dou flashed a wicked little grin. Evil mothers-in-law in television dramas never succeeded on the very first try, after all.
Dou Dou wasn’t just any regular two-year-old; he had prepared himself well in advance.
Xie Xiran: ……
What on earth was this child watching at home every day?
He had an inexplicable feeling that these lines sounded awfully familiar.
“Have you been watching too many TV dramas?”
He vaguely felt like he’d heard those words somewhere before.
“I have not!” Refusing to admit to it, Dou Dou raised his voice in a loud, defiant rebuttal.
Not daring to bicker with the child any longer, Xie Xiran hurriedly scooped up the little fellow and headed inside. “Alright, alright, fine, no you haven’t. Let’s hurry up and take a bath before you catch a cold.”
Not going to lie, the plush flesh on the child felt fantastic to touch; holding the little guy close, Xie Xiran found himself reluctant to let go.
Right on cue, Dou Dou sneezed: “Achoo—”
“See?” Xie Xiran pulled out a tissue to wipe the child’s nose.
Caught completely off guard, Dou Dou was lowered into the water. His small body shivered; the water level was a bit high, causing him to grab onto Xie Xiran’s arm in sudden panic.
“Hold me~” Dou Dou coaxed in a spoiled tone.
Thinking it over, Xie Xiran carefully positioned him so he wouldn’t slip, and then moved with lightning speed to stand up and shut the door.
After that, he stripped off his clothes and stepped back inside to bathe with Dou Dou.
[Ahhhhh, don’t close the door! I wanted to listen to what happened next!]
[Seriously, is it over just like that?]
[Wait, I just got here, why are they closing the door to take a bath? Is Shushu in there?]
[What is the person above me thinking? How could it possibly be Shushu? Shushu is in a completely different live stream room! Don’t try to be clever like that; it’s Dou Dou in there.]
[Exactly, this isn’t the time to joke around.]
[Sorry, sorry, I won’t do it again.]
[This is a wholesome child-rearing variety show, not a dating show! Also, whispering quietly: if you turn up the volume, you can hear Dou Dou acting spoiled and demanding hugs~]
[Ah, wait, this isn’t a dating show?!]
Xie Xiran and Shushu, you two have committed every crime in the book! Many newly arrived viewers had heard rumors that Xie Xiran and Bai Shushu officially announced their relationship on the variety show, so they naturally assumed it was a dating show. To their surprise, it turned out to be a child-rearing show.
They could only say: as expected of Xie Xiran, doing things entirely out of the ordinary.
No wonder he willingly gave up his vacation to bring his younger brother onto a reality show—he had actually come here to accompany his wife.
Realizing this, many viewers felt another wave of sudden sweetness washing over them.
Wuwuwu, Xie Xiran is so smooth! Who would have thought an older man could have so many stealthy, subtle moves?
Moreover, Dou Dou’s “evil mother-in-law” act was shockingly entertaining, prompting plenty of viewers to fold their arms and settle in to watch the drama unfold.
Xie Xiran’s fans experienced a bizarre array of complicated emotions. Upon learning that Xie-ge had finally found a partner, the mental obsession they’d harbored for years felt instantly lifted, though it was quickly followed by a new anxiety: What if the other person isn’t good enough for Xie-ge?
As for Shushu… after pondering it for a moment, the fans figured that given the personalities of those two, if anyone was going to do any bullying later on, it would definitely be Xie-ge bullying Shushu.
A good portion of the fans’ loyalties instantly began to tilt. If Xie-ge ended up bullying Shushu, what on earth should they do about it?
Shushu was so cute, so good-looking, and came with an adorable, chubby younger brother who was hilarious when he talked. No matter how they looked at it, their hearts were heavily leaning toward Shushu.
Besides, Xie-ge was a bit older, too; no matter how they did the math, Shushu was getting the raw end of the deal.
Mom, I think we just defected!
Consequently, the fans quietly observed the general public’s reaction, discovering that everyone else was taking the news remarkably well.
Keep in mind, Xie Xiran and Bai Shushu had only officially “met” in front of the netizens yesterday; how had everyone managed to digest the fact that they were dating in just two short days?
They could only attribute it to the fact that everyone had been watching the show: Xie-ge had been far too proactive, acting suspicious right from the start, though everyone at the time kept trying to write it off by assuming the two were just friends.
Today, however, things kept getting weirder and weirder, feeling like they were being force-fed mouthful after mouthful of raw sugar.
Most of it was initiated by Xie-ge himself, but the most important part was that Shushu looked at Xie Xiran with affection in his eyes, too! The two of them were clearly engaging in a mutual, two-way sprint toward each other.
Not to mention the fact that Xie-ge had openly admitted to it himself.
As a result, both fans and casual passersby reacted with surprising calm—a calm tinged with the shy, fluttering thrill of successfully shipping a real couple.
However, Dou Dou’s reaction genuinely left them flabbergasted.
Not to mention the fact that Dou Dou had been plotting all along to throw money at Xie Xiran to make him leave Bai Shushu that routine was identical to the evil mothers-in-law seen in domestic ethical dramas.
Dou Dou had definitely watched way too many of those shows.
Dou Dou was fiercely resistant to the idea of Xie Xiran becoming Shushu’s boyfriend.
No wonder he insisted on writing down “one million”—it was specifically meant to be flung right into Xie-ge’s face to drive him away from Shushu.
Pfft, that was 100% something that clever little brain of Dou Dou’s would cook up.
However, Dou Dou probably didn’t realize that Xie Xiran was definitely not short on cash.
A wave of viewers began worrying whether Dou Dou would puff up his little cheeks in frustration once he realized his subconscious assistance had actually helped Xie Xiran blast his romance out into the open.
Ah, watching gossip is so satisfying. (Sitting back with arms crossed to watch the show.jpg)
The viewers felt thoroughly mischievous, desperately wishing Dou Dou would launch his next wave of offensive maneuvers against Xie-ge right this second.
That’s right, given Dou Dou’s stubborn personality, he definitely wasn’t going to give up just like that.
Meanwhile, Qin Yue, who had woken up bright and early at the hotel to watch the live stream, was just getting ready to take a nap when she was struck by this explosive piece of news.
Bai Shan: “I’m siding with Dou Dou this time. I don’t consent I absolutely, completely do not consent.”
He knew all about this Xie kid; the boy was practically overflowing with sly tricks. No, wait, the entire Xie family was full of scheming people.
Shushu was definitely going to get taken advantage of in the future.
“I’m calling Dou Dou right now and transferring the money to him.” As he spoke, he reached out blindly for his phone.
Qin Yue slapped his hand away. “Dou Dou is a three-year-old toddler, and what are you another toddler?”
Fuming, Bai Shan paced back and forth across the hotel room. “This won’t do, let’s head back.”
If they didn’t go back now, their eldest son was going to get snatched away by the Xie family.
“Oh, why don’t you observe them a bit longer? I think Xie Xiran is actually quite decent. I never dared to imagine them together before; Xie Xiran is a few years older than Shushu, and they didn’t have any prior interactions. But now that it’s out in the open, they actually feel like a great match for our Shushu.”
Qin Yue had always enjoyed watching Xie Xiran’s dramas, and now that this familial connection had dropped into the mix, she instantly slapped on her mother-in-law’s filter, finding him more and more pleasing to the eye the longer she looked.
Bai Shan clenched his fist. “Fine! If these two are going to be together, that’s fine too—but from now on, Xie Xiran is moving into our house.”
He wasn’t going to let the Xie family off easy.
Qin Yue thought this was a brilliant idea and instantly agreed. “We’ll coordinate with Shushu and have him blow some sweet pillow talk.”
Since they were practically getting an exceptional son for free, how could Qin Yue possibly object?
The moment pillow talk was mentioned, Bai Shan’s internal alarm bells went off again. “What? They’re already sleeping together?!”
“Why are you getting so panicked? Dou Dou’s impulsive personality is something he inherited entirely from you; I was just speaking metaphorically!” Qin Yue glared at him, utterly defeated.
Bai Shan simply couldn’t sit still; he had a lingering premonition that he was no match for Xie Xiran in a battle of wits.
“Freaking out won’t do you any good. Look at Shushu he clearly likes Xie Xiran a lot.”
And that exact realization was precisely why Bai Shan was panicking.