The slender, fragile crescent moon overhead hid behind the treetops, and the world suddenly plunged into a dim, murky darkness.
I sat on the ground and looked up, but the faint, shimmering light of the moon could not pierce through the restrictive layers of clouds, nor could it penetrate the thick canopy of branches; it could not reach my heart.
In the gloom, I felt a sense of loneliness…
I could not say it aloud.
That was his answer.
What kind of person could be so mysterious that they could not tell me anything! I had phrased my speculations as a joke, but he only gave me a subtle smile in return.
Even the Mona Lisa doesn’t smile as much as you do!
What is this! Stop being such a riddle! It’s maddening!
So what if you just said it? At worst, I would have just showered you with blessings!
Although I wanted to act as if I didn’t care, I still suffered from insomnia; the thoughts in my heart could not be hidden at all.
“Sigh. If only I could simply treat him like a younger brother,” I whispered, resting my chin on my knees and sighing inwardly.
The spring night breeze blew, and I immediately shivered. My heart felt cold, my body was chilled, and the melancholy mood hadn’t lasted long before I felt my backside beginning to ache from sitting on the ground.
Rubbing my arms, I started to miss my warm, comfortable bed. Would I catch a cold like this?
I can endure anything, but I cannot be cruel to my own body. Just as I was planning to head back inside, a large coat fell over my shoulders clearly a size that did not belong to me.
I froze for a moment and turned back; he was leaning over in the shadows, draping the outer garment over me.
“I saw you sitting here for a long time, and I was afraid you would catch a cold.”
“Oh, I couldn’t sleep, so I came out to get some fresh air.”
“I was just about to go back. After all, if I get sick, Yoriichi would have to take care of me.” My hand pressed against the outer garment, wanting to pick it up and return it to him to maintain a polite distance, but in the end, I pulled it tighter around myself.
“Getting sick requires money for medicine; it is better if Megumi does not fall ill.”
Ah, he saw through my nature.
I glanced to the side, seeing the smooth lines of his profile and his graceful curves. Under his thin, pale undershirt, his shoulders were broad and his legs long; his build was slender and powerful.
I swallowed silently. No wonder Mrs. Tomoda was so worried for me…
But a twisted melon isn’t sweet, right? Besides, even if I wanted to “twist” him, I couldn’t! Who could possibly force him?
I felt even more dejected.
“Take the clothes back; aren’t you afraid of catching a cold?” I was lost in thought.
He turned his head slightly, and I seemed to see the swaying trajectory of his earrings. He said reservedly, “I do not feel cold. My body is in good health; I have never been sick.”
Alright. People really cannot be measured by the same standards.
Actually, I was a bit curious—could it be that he is naturally gifted?
Speaking of which, would a man who practices Sun Breathing have a body that is hotter than an ordinary person’s? Though, he didn’t seem to sweat more than others in the summer.
I began to let my mind wander. Is this why there is no “Ice Breathing” because the human body cannot be as cold as ice?
“Megumi, why can’t you sleep?”
“Ah? Oh.” I randomly found an excuse. “Just simple insomnia.”
He sat down quite casually. Thanks to my years of “training,” he finally stopped sitting in that perfectly upright, rigid posture all the time.
Because that always made me feel very constrained as well!
Although his sitting posture had changed, the habits maintained for many years still kept his back straight.
He pulled a bamboo flute from his chest, wiped it carefully, and then placed it to his lips to play, his fingers covering the holes.
A remote, ethereal, and nameless melody flowed out. Unfortunately, the only flaw was a hissing, airy sound whenever he hit a certain note.
It must be that the bamboo flute was damaged somewhere.
It was of no consequence; I felt the gentle emotions of the performer, and my heart slowly calmed down along with the tune.
It seemed that even the moon wanted to take a look at him, pushing aside the clouds to peek.
He wore his thick, dark, slightly wavy hair loose. His beautiful face was shrouded in shadow, and his hanging locks covered the flame-red mark on his forehead.
The moonlight brushed a layer of silver, ethereal brilliance onto the bridge of his nose, making him look like a high, lonely, snow-capped mountain.
—Because the sun was resting, he sat quietly in the moonlight, having visited a common human dwelling in the form of a beauty god.
He was as beautiful as a dream.
I couldn’t help but slow my breathing, watching him quietly.
Before I knew it, the song ended. Despite the minor flaw, I said, “That was truly a beautiful and moving melody.”
He lowered his hand. “This is a song that Mother would often hum to lull me to sleep when I was a child.” He then turned his eyes to me. “I hope I did not embarrass myself.”
There seemed to be a special radiance on his face.
Please, stop being so kind; it will make me entertain the thought that… perhaps the person he likes is me.
But I was very sure that wasn’t the case. In our daily interactions, he never once had a look that resembled adoration! Also, he didn’t even blush when I got close to him! Could this be a sign of affection?
“Really, you can’t tell me?” I asked, still feeling unwilling to let it go when I thought of these things.
I couldn’t figure it out! I was even ready to count the hens in the yard!
Could it be… that I am not the opposite sex he is interested in? Uh, that doesn’t seem right. My thinking must have gone wrong.
My curious cat-like claws were scratching at my heart; I really wanted to know! Whether it was something else or…
But he lowered his eyes, then said in a flat tone, “I truly cannot tell you. It would put me in a very difficult position.”
My heart turned cold. I felt that his words held a flavor of coldness and resistance. Could it be that he finally discovered my shameful thoughts and said that for that reason?
Perhaps he was already annoyed with me in his heart?
I strongly realized that I could not let this continue.
Otherwise, I would really get sick, and very seriously at that.
So, I changed the subject. “Can I punch you?”
He was stunned for a moment, then nodded slowly.
I meant I wanted to punch you! He was too calm; at least give me some special reaction! As expected, he must have only agreed to everything because he didn’t care about me at all.
I felt bitter and reached out to flick his forehead. “Alright, go away.”
After flicking his forehead, my noisy heart finally calmed down, and at the same time, I made a decision.
I slept well, and the next day, when I went to town, that young and beautiful girl came looking for him again.
The thoughts in her eyes were obvious enough for the ants on the road to see.
“Ah, I dropped my handkerchief.” The girl covered her mouth, panic in her eyes.
I crushed the bean cake in my hand. It was clearly on purpose; I saw it!
Yoriichi picked it up and handed it to her.
“Thank you, Yoriichi-kun.” She smiled shyly.
…
I maintained my usual custom: I said nothing, I didn’t stop them, and my face remained indifferent.
Perhaps under that expressionless face of Tsugikuni Yoriichi, he was feeling happy.
Heh.
I looked at the girl again. She was wearing a red kimono with floral patterns, looking as beautiful and sweet as a white pear blossom in the spring.
Followed by servants and standing next to Tsugikuni Yoriichi, they looked like a talented man and a beautiful woman, a perfect match.
Since he already had someone he liked—perhaps he didn’t realize it himself yet, but it was clear—it was no longer appropriate for us to live together.
“Yoriichi, I don’t think you can live at my house anymore.”
When the day ended, despite the difficulty, I said it.
“Is it true that I cannot become a member of Megumi’s family?”
“That is impossible.” I refused, automatically assuming he meant becoming a younger brother without blood relations.
His face turned pale for a moment; he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he just nodded silently. “I… understand. I will leave.”
Actually, me driving him away was a small test. If he asked why, I would tell him the reason. If he liked me, wouldn’t he just say it directly?
Clearly, my hope was dashed; he simply wanted to be my family.
The atmosphere suddenly became very awkward. This was the first time.
I knew he had feelings for me, but if they weren’t those kind of feelings, it was meaningless.
It was better to end the long pain quickly.
Back home, I threw away all the flowers in the vase. He packed his things in silence.
I didn’t say a word, lying with my back to him, clenching my fists to control my emotions.
I couldn’t stop the pain in my heart. It had been two years; even if I had raised a dog, I would have developed feelings, not to mention that I also…
Where he would go, what he would do, I didn’t ask any of it. Even if I knew, what would it matter? I acted with extreme indifference, because I had no right to ask anyway, right?
He soon came to say goodbye to me.
“Please, take care of yourself.”
“Look what I brought!”
Two voices sounded at the same time.
No, blustering, walked in, ruining the sadness of the farewell. “Plum wine brewed at my home! Megumi, hurry and get the bowls; let’s drink together! Ah! You’re here too, you fellow? Then you can just tag along for a cup!”
I adjusted my emotions and turned my head.
No, the moment he saw Yoriichi, his face fell.
But actually, it was just a matter of pride. After so much time, he hadn’t had as much hostility toward Yoriichi as he had at the beginning. To me, they actually had a pretty good relationship.
I went to get the bowls and stared at the jar of wine on the table.
Wine! Wine! Wine! Great! It came just at the right time! I drank bowl after bowl; even No was startled by my intensity.
“Although it is fruit wine, if you drink too much…”
“What’s wrong?” I raised my head, feeling tipsy.
“Ah, you’re already drunk.”
As he spoke, he seemed to sense that the atmosphere wasn’t quite right. “Yoriichi, why are you carrying a bundle?”
“I…”
“He is just packing his things,” I interrupted. I didn’t want No to know so soon.
No looked left and right, then suddenly put down his bowl with a serious expression.
“You, come with me.” He called me outside.
Walking into the flower garden,
“What are you… doing… coming out?” I felt the world spinning; I had already forgotten all my troubles.
He stood with his back to me first, then asked in a way that was the complete opposite of his usual behavior. “You know, right?”
“What do you mean?” I was confused.
He turned his head with a serious expression. “I like you. You should be very clear about that.”
Without waiting for my answer, he continued, “The people in the village told me not to pester you anymore and not to ruin your relationship with Yoriichi. Damn it, I was the one who was here first.”
“But I also know that guy is literate, can cure illnesses, and works diligently. What’s most annoying is that he’s also a little better looking than me. I’ve given up.”
“I need a definite answer.”
“Do you like him? As long as you answer me, I will give up immediately.”
I stood there for a long time. It was only then, with my brain dulled by alcohol, that I understood what he meant.
I also knew I shouldn’t use Yoriichi as a shield.
But if I wanted to avoid suspicion and answer: You are completely mistaken! Yoriichi and I are just living partners; he provides me with shelter, and I provide him with food and clothing. We have no relationship.
If I answered like that, how would that be any different from there being a possibility with you?
Make the choice when the time comes to choose.
This sentence flashed through my mind.
Driven by the alcohol in my chest, I said, “Ah, I thought it was already obvious.”
“That’s right. I like Yoriichi very much. I liked him the moment I saw him. Coincidentally, he had nowhere to go, so I, driven by selfish motives, brought him back and raised him as my fiancé.”
“He, um, just as you said, has great conditions in every aspect. I am quite satisfied, and perhaps we will be married in a while.”
I said it exaggeratedly. Anyway, he was leaving soon, so it wouldn’t matter.
After I finished speaking, No took a big step back.
He was a bit surprised. “So it really is like that, but I didn’t expect you to have…” He stopped mid-sentence.
I was amused by his reaction and continued to talk nonsense, taking the opportunity to vent my repressed and gloomy heart. “I am just that kind of person with impure motives. If you want to talk about it, he is simply perfect the perfect candidate for a future husband.” I simply said it with a thick skin.
Lies would eventually be exposed, so what I was seeking was a complete subversion of my image in his eyes.
No was dumbfounded, clearly shocked by my earth-shattering, century-defining confession.
Hahaha, look at his silly look.
I snickered to myself.
He swallowed silently. “…I actually lost by this much.”
“Hmm, you heard it all, right? Then I can safely leave Megumi to you,” he suddenly said loudly.
“Leave… to you?” I repeated with a question.
I felt that a very bad piece of information had arrived. I turned my head slowly and mechanically; sure enough, I found Tsugikuni Yoriichi standing behind me, his eyes showing no emotion at all.
How long had he been there? How much did he hear? Were those words really coming out of my mouth?
I broke into a cold sweat; the tipsy feeling of alcohol vanished instantly.
“I… hic!”
I was so frightened that I started hiccuping.