Mu Wen's embrace was so light and fleeting, over almost before it began.
Yet Xie Chong could feel her warmth radiating through him.
She was a warm, real person, and she had embraced him the way one embraces a friend.
This had never happened in Xie Chong's life.
Xie Chong didn't really have friends.
Especially not female friends.
He didn't like making friends, because in his mind, friends were like the stubble that appeared on his face every day—shave one batch off, another grows in. None of them lasted. His only true friend was Qian Song. Qian Song was a "shamelessly persistent" person who didn't care about Xie Chong's odd temper or anything else about him. He bluntly invaded his time and space, and that was how they became friends.
He had no female friends. In his mind, Jiang Wu didn't count as a female friend—she was the image of the woman he had secretly admired since his youth.
He liked being alone.
But Mu Wen's spontaneous, sincere embrace stunned him. It had been a very, very long time since he'd felt certain he had gained a friend.
His friend Mu Wen, completely unaware that there was anything unusual about that embrace, was now standing in front of him, grinning.
She asked him, "Did you run out of oxygen? You look kind of dazed."
With that, she ran over to the pull-up bars, put on her own clothes, and handed Xie Chong's clothes to him. "Put these on quickly—the wind's picking up. It's cold."
Xie Chong let her fuss over him, stealing glances at her from time to time. Mu Wen was always smiling at him. Now she was having second thoughts—she worried that her friendly embrace might have given Xie Chong the wrong idea, and she was afraid he'd stop talking to her altogether.
But Xie Chong didn't bring it up at all. Instead, he started chatting about something else. He asked when she'd treat him to the second meal, and she said maybe tomorrow if she got off work early enough.
Xie Chong said, "Then call me when you're done tomorrow."
"Sure, sure!"
On the way home, they chatted about this and that. Mu Wen loved nights like this—walking beside someone she liked made even the air feel cleaner.
She was in high spirits, her steps light and bouncy. At the entrance to her building, she said goodbye and walked off without looking back.
Mu Wen had planned to repay Xie Chong's meal the next day at lunch, but Lin Weisen dragged her off to karaoke at the last minute. Lin Weisen was treating Xiao Gu and four or five other colleagues to lunch and karaoke because that little bastard had signed the contract.
Mu Wen asked Lin Weisen whether the little bastard had mentioned her afterward. Lin Weisen said dismissively, "People like that don't spend much time on any one person. If one doesn't work out, they move on to the next. They might even be seeing several at once."
"Why, Master? How can there be people like that?" Mu Wen didn't understand—didn't understand such dark human nature and complicated relationships.
"You're still young. Master will say the same thing again: give it a few years, and you'll see that people like him aren't even the worst of it." Lin Weisen said, "It's good that you're running into this now. The earlier you encounter it, the sooner you wake up."
Mu Wen nodded thoughtfully.
That day, karaoke ended at two in the afternoon, and Mu Wen took the bus home. She sat on the sunny side, resting her head against the window glass, eyes closed, drowsy. Light and shadow passed across her face in turns—bright, dark, bright, dark… just like life itself: good times, bad times, good times, bad times…
Of course, she wasn't thinking anything that profound. She just felt that the bumpy bus ride and the sunshine brought her a kind of peaceful happiness. But that happiness came to an abrupt end when she got off the bus—her phone was gone.
Mu Wen had never lost anything before.
She treasured everything she owned, even the smallest hairpin or pencil, using them over and over until they were completely worn out. The first time she'd ever lost something in her life, it had to be something as expensive as her phone.
She stood by the roadside, at a complete loss, wiping tears because her heart ached. Why did she have to take that nap? Now look what happened—her phone was gone. She wanted to chase after the bus to look for it, but then realized she probably wouldn't find it. Her phone had been stolen.
Without her phone, she trudged home in misery.
Chu Ling was doing laundry. Seeing how upset Mu Wen looked, she wiped the foam off her hands and came over to ask what was wrong.
Mu Wen pouted and said, "I lost it. I lost my phone. I'm going to Zhongguancun to buy a new one."
"I'll go with you," Chu Ling said. "A colleague of mine lost her phone a few days ago too. There have been a lot of phone thieves lately."
"It's fine, it's fine," Mu Wen told herself. But how could it be fine? She'd lost so many contacts. At least she remembered her parents' numbers. At Dinghao Tower, the phone floor was packed with people. They squeezed their way in to look, but every model Mu Wen saw felt too expensive. In the end, she decided to buy the 5300.
Xie Chong stayed home waiting for Mu Wen all day. By evening, his "new" friend still hadn't made a move. Xie Chong called Mu Wen twice. The first call went through, but no one spoke and it hung up quickly. The second time, the phone was off.
Xie Chong thought: Just as I suspected—friends aren't worth having. Friends are too hypocritical. He turned around and walked out the door.
Mu Wen bought a phone and hurried to Xie Chong's house. She wanted to explain to him in person why she had broken her promise, but no one was home. He hadn't been waiting for her—that was fine too. It eased her guilt a little.
Her National Day holiday was filled with clients.
Their industry also followed the "golden September, silver October" rule. This was her first year catching the golden season, and it happened to coincide with the real estate market starting to show signs of a boom. She spent the entire holiday measuring apartments, drafting plans, measuring apartments, drafting plans.
Mu Wen kept working nonstop.
When Ge Yunqing called, she told Mu Wen that Yakeshi had already seen a heavy snowfall, and the roads to Hailar were all white. "Your father took a family tour this National Day. He should be in Manzhouli by now."
Mu Wen loved hearing her mother talk about these things.
She was studying a floor plan while chatting with her mother. Ge Yunqing asked if she could come home after the holiday—she hadn't been back since leaving after the Spring Festival. Mu Wen missed home too, but the plane tickets were too expensive, and her vacation was too short to fit the round-trip time by train or bus.
She felt a little sad after hanging up. She took out her bankbook to count her money, wondering if she could scrape together enough for a trip home. Not enough. She had just bought a phone, needed to replace her work computer, and then had rent coming up. Her money wasn't enough.
When will I ever have money? Mu Wen put her bankbook away dejectedly.
Earn more.
She decided to work extra hours. She'd skip the days off after the holiday and save them all for the Spring Festival—take one big break.
She always had a way of comforting herself. Once her bad mood found an outlet, she regained plenty of energy to work.
She kept busy without a moment's pause, so busy that she completely forgot about Xie Chong. During this period, she signed a single-family villa client, two townhouse clients, one flat-floor apartment, and an old, run-down unit in the West City district.
Her results were impressive, her progress rapid—far exceeding the company's expectations. Even Lin Weisen wondered if she had some extraordinary methods.
One day, as he was leaving work, he stood by Mu Wen's desk for a moment and asked, "Still working overtime? Not going out on a date?"
"A date? With who?" Mu Wen was a little surprised her mentor would ask that, so she looked up at him.
Lin Weisen lowered his voice and said, "Not dating anyone?"
Mu Wen was confused. "No, I'm not."
Lin Weisen tapped her desk, as if reminding her to pay attention to something, then turned and left.
Mu Wen was puzzled. She felt Lin Weisen's reaction was off, so the next day she went to ask Xiao Gu.
Xiao Gu looked a bit reluctant and said, "Engineer Mu, the main reason I didn't dare tell you is that I don't think it matters. It would just mess with your head. There's really no need."
"What do you mean?" Mu Wen said. "It's fine, Xiao Gu. Just tell me. What's going on?"
Xiao Gu sighed. "Engineer Mu, people are spreading rumors that you got these deals through improper means. Some say you're dating a rich man, some say you're someone's mistress… They're saying all kinds of things. At the end of the day, it's because your performance as a newcomer is too outstanding…"
Mu Wen understood.
She was new to Beijing. She had no money, no connections, nothing. How could someone like her achieve such results in such a short time? She must have a backer.
At that moment, Mu Wen remembered how she had once lied about having connections to dare hit that bastard with the surname Gao. She never imagined it would be twisted into something like this.
Absurd.
Her first reaction was absurdity.
Then she felt a wave of grievance crashing over her.
She used to think she could ignore what anyone said about her—whether colleagues thought she was stingy or called her a "workhorse," she didn't care at all. Only that day did she realize the reason she didn't care was because those comments hadn't constituted an insult to her character. Now, her character was being insulted.
Mu Wen wanted to hit someone.
But the office was completely empty.
Since returning to Beijing in July, she had stayed in that office until midnight almost every workday, and she had barely taken a full day off on weekends either. Their job was supposedly five days a week, or allowed for comp time, but she didn't want to rest. She was afraid that if she rested, she'd miss a client.
She always thought, I'm still young, I can push through, I'm not afraid of anything. She believed that on the road to success, the only thing that could hold her back was herself.
I don't care about them. I don't care about them.
She went back to drawing, but then her client Miss Li called and said, "Don't send the drawings yet. Let's pause our collaboration."
"May I ask what's wrong with my work?" Mu Wen asked. "I'm not trying to force you to keep working with me. I just want to know where I fell short, so I can keep improving."
Miss Li stammered a few words and hung up.
That evening, Mu Wen heard that Miss Li had been reassigned to another designer—one who had jumped over from a different company.
Mu Wen didn't understand. She went to Lin Weisen, who said bluntly, "Miss Li originally had a good impression of you. But then she heard from somewhere that you're overly familiar with male clients, and she asked for a different designer."
"Who told you that? Who in the company could possibly have contact with Miss Li? Didn't they say the clients assigned to me could only be developed by me?" Mu Wen asked Lin Weisen directly. She wanted to know why.
Lin Weisen advised her not to make a fuss. One client was nothing—there were plenty of clients out there. She shouldn't let this one client affect her relationships with colleagues. Mu Wen hadn't expected him to take this attitude. She said angrily, "Master! This is unfair competition! They're slinging mud!"
"What's so unfair about this?" Lin Weisen got angry too. "Who doesn't have some gossip floating around? Isn't this normal? Haven't you taken over other people's orders before?"
"That was after clients complained and you guys voluntarily assigned them to me. I didn't snatch them!"
"What's the difference? It was all because of client complaints."
"I…" Mu Wen's face flushed red with anger. She wanted to reason with Lin Weisen, but her master had already stood up and was packing his laptop to go home. Before leaving, he advised her earnestly: "Colleague relationships are very important. You only know how to bury your head in work. You've been here this long—have you ever treated everyone to a meal? Besides Xiao Gu, are you familiar with anyone else? If you don't maintain relationships yourself, how can you expect others to say good things about you?"
Lin Weisen pointed at his head. "Use your brain. Your master won't hurt you."
Mu Wen bit her lip and returned to her desk. She was, after all, a fresh graduate—this was the first time in her life she'd faced such overwhelming malice.
She felt terrible.
Just earlier, everyone had been so polite and enthusiastic when they met, chatting about the weather, hobbies, and daily life, looking like friends. But the moment they turned around, they showed a different face, hurling the most baseless speculation and vicious words at her.
Engineer Mu decided she wasn't working overtime tonight.
She didn't need to anyway—Miss Li had requested a replacement, afraid she might "seduce" her husband. The ridiculous part was that Mu Wen had never even met Miss Li's husband.
Mu Wen walked out of the office building, and a wave of cold washed over her.
Only then did she remember it was already mid-October.
Wrapping her coat around herself, she stood in front of the building in a daze for a while. Despite her anger, hunger hadn't abandoned her. The food stalls under White Stone Bridge were already out. She checked the time—the buses had stopped running, and ride-hailing had already switched to nighttime rates.
Forget it. Let's eat first.
She walked toward the jianbing stall with her head down. Her usual spirited demeanor was gone; even her steps seemed a beat slower.
She reached the jianbing stall and bought one. The owner asked her, "Two eggs again?"
"Two. Thank you."
The owner spread the batter while watching her through the glass. "Feeling unwell?"
"Huh? No." Mu Wen replied.
"Good. If you're not feeling well, you should rest. Don't push yourself too hard."
"Thank you, boss."
Jianbing in hand, Mu Wen went to buy some hot and sour noodles, then sat on a low stool eating in the autumn wind. It was already quite cold, but there were still some people who'd just gotten off work, too lazy to go home for dinner, settling for a quick bite here.
Mu Wen wolfed down her food. As she ate, she thought of the big steamed buns Ge Yunqing used to make. As a child, she'd always been impatient, wanting to lift the lid to see if the buns were done. She'd climb onto a small stool and heave the big pot lid open. Ge Yunqing would call out from the side: "Oh dear, oh dear, the steam's escaping!"
The buns in the steamer would immediately deflate, no longer fluffy and soft.
Ge Yunqing would tell her: "You can't be impatient when steaming buns. No matter how others urge you, you must not lift the lid early. You have to endure the heat and timing to get good buns."
I'm enduring the heat right now, Mu Wen thought. My batch of buns has just started steaming—there's still a long way to go before they're done!
By the time she finished eating, she felt much better.
She walked along the road toward home, planning to walk until she was exhausted before taking a cab—that way she could also digest her food. Chu Ling had gone to Wuhan for an editors' forum. She didn't need to work overtime tomorrow either. A rare weekend had suddenly arrived.
She didn't know what to do with it.
Her feet stepped on fallen leaves, the dry ones crackling underfoot. Mu Wen thought of autumn in the Greater Khingan Mountains—thick, soft pine needles like a carpet, making her feel light as she walked on them. At that moment, she could understand why her father had refused to work at the Qiqihar repair factory back then. He said Qiqihar had too many people. He said places with too many people were exhausting.
Mu Wen felt that places with too many people were full of mouths—one mouth here, another there, and before you knew it, they'd talked you into something unrecognizable!
Tired from walking, she squatted by the roadside, wanting to pick a nice-looking leaf. She rummaged through them but none suited her fancy. Hearing footsteps approaching, she looked up warily.
She saw Xie Chong.
After losing her phone, she'd gone looking for him twice, but he wasn't home. One day she called his work number—the company had it on file—but he didn't answer either. After that, she got too busy, busy with life, busy making money to save up for a plane ticket home and rent, so she never went looking for him again.
She'd also thought that maybe one day, when she had everything, when she wasn't so strapped for cash, when she didn't need to work herself to the bone, she could wait longer at his doorstep, wait until he came back. Wait until she could see him.
She hadn't waited until that day—and here he was.
Mu Wen's heart flooded with gratitude in an instant. Thank heavens—on this, the worst day of my life, the person I like has come. The Xie Chong I like has actually appeared before me.
She slowly stood up, wanting to greet him, but afraid that if she opened her mouth she would cry. She really was full of grievances.
Xie Chong walked up to her and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Mu Wen's mouth puckered slightly, and she said, "I want to take a walk."
"Then I'll walk five hundred meters with you, and then I'll turn around and come back for the car," Xie Chong said as he turned around. Remembering that Mu Wen had stood him up, he suddenly became angry and stopped in his tracks, wanting to have a few words with her. He wanted to ask her why she had promised to show up but could forget him completely.
But Mu Wen suddenly said, "I want to go sit at a bar. I want to have a drink."
"Don't try to brush this off with a bar. You said you'd come to my place to cook…"
"No, that's not it." Mu Wen said softly, "Xie Chong, I lost my phone…"
"It's fine," Xie Chong said. "It doesn't matter. No need to explain."
He drove her to a bar. Mu Wen looked at the drink menu and felt her heart ache. She only allowed herself one drink. Xie Chong said, "Drink. Drink as much as you want."
"Then will you drink?"
"I'm driving. I won't drink."
"Oh."
And so Mu Wen really did drink.
The cocktail she ordered wasn't as strong as baijiu—sweet and sour, easy to get down. After one glass, she felt light and floaty, and forgot most of what had happened at the company. So she ordered another. After finishing the second glass, she became cheerful, laughing like she used to. She wanted another drink, but Xie Chong said, "Last one."
"Okay, last one." Mu Wen smiled foolishly and agreed.
She had already forgotten all her worries. Now, the only person in her eyes was Xie Chong. The bar was very dim, and Xie Chong sat across from her, quietly keeping her company. She lay on the table looking at him, feeling that he was different from anyone else here. He was so unique.
Mu Wen thought about how wonderful this person was, and how loving him was something so beautiful yet hopeless. She savored the thrill and imagination this love brought her, while also enduring the regret of not being able to be together.
Yes, she felt regret.
When Xie Chong saw that Mu Wen had drunk to the point of tears, he took her glass away: "No more drinking. Let's go."
On the street at two in the morning, she stumbled with every step, and he had to hold her firmly. With the last shred of her sobriety, Mu Wen took the opportunity to act shamelessly: "I can't walk anymore, I can't walk anymore…" She made to sit down on the ground, and Xie Chong had to grab her and pull her into his arms.
Mu Wen wrapped her arms around his waist.
He was so warm, like when she stood by the steamer, surrounded by an endless current of warmth.
His hands hung stiffly open, avoiding contact with her, and he just let her hold him.
Mu Wen felt so wronged inside. Why won't he hug me? Why is this world so complicated? Why are beautiful things always out of reach?
And so, in his arms, she let out a sob.
Hearing the sound, Xie Chong was a little startled. He lowered his head to ask what was wrong. She lifted her head, and with just a slight rise on her toes, she touched his lips.
His cool, soft lips.
Mu Wen had never kissed anyone before. She didn't know that kissing the person you like was like this: she didn't dare to breathe, yet wanted to cry, her hands clutching tightly at his collar. Sensing that he was about to pull away, she instinctively chased after him.
And pressed her lips to his again.