Xie Chong instinctively closed his eyes.
He wasn't breathing.
He didn't dare to breathe.
Mu Wen cupped his face in her hands, and he felt her clumsily bite at his lips. The world came crashing down with a deafening roar.
His arms finally came back, gripping her shoulders. He meant to push her away, but she had already wrapped her arms around his neck first.
He didn't respond to her, and she was so disappointed. She looked at him with slightly open eyes. She had never seen him this close before, never touched his face. The autumn wind was cold and biting, yet his face burned so hot.
He opened his eyes just a crack and met Mu Wen's gaze, which was veiled in a mist of tears. Was she crying? Xie Chong wondered, wanting to ask her, but she suddenly pressed down on him again.
Mu Wen didn't want to think about anything else anymore. She only wanted to be a ruthless bandit, plundering Xie Chong. She was acutely aware that her feelings for him had spiraled beyond her control.
Mu Wen didn't know how to kiss.
She thought kissing was just biting and gnawing. She bit at his lips, refusing to let him pull away, her arms wrapping even more tightly around his neck.
Xie Chong grabbed her wrists with both hands, trying to pry them apart. He knew he was using considerable force—his strength carried even a hint of anger.
But she was all brute force.
Mu Wen was the strongest person he had ever met, even surpassing every man he knew. At the time, he didn't realize how subjective that thought was.
"Mu—" He tried to speak, to stop her, but it only gave her tongue the chance to recklessly barge in. Just for an instant, their tongues touched, and everything stopped. The frantic breathing stopped, the advancing and struggling stopped—only the sharp sensation of touch spread rapidly through their entire bodies.
Mu Wen confirmed the feeling of this kiss in an instant. With drunkenness and a heart devoid of regret, she bravely curled her tongue toward his. Xie Chong refused vaguely, his body retreating, until he backed up against the old tree by the roadside, his back hitting the trunk, with nowhere left to go.
Mu Wen seemed to be crying.
She kissed him while crying, looking so pitiful.
Xie Chong's hands found their way around her waist at some point, drawing her toward him.
He seemed drunk.
He blamed it all on Mu Wen.
He didn't want this kiss, yet he held her tightly and kissed her back. He didn't know where to start, only instinctively responding to her tongue, pressing his hand against the back of her head to pull her closer.
His body radiated endless heat, enveloping her.
Mu Wen thought of the people on the school track field, in the dim corners, the wet, muffled sounds they made as they clung to each other—no more noble than what was happening now.
She felt genuine joy from kissing Xie Chong. Her "beautiful man" had soft lips and clean breath. Even though he struggled, his struggle was polite. He was a gentle person—he hadn't forcefully pushed her away.
Mu Wen's drunkenness seemed to clear by half, because her mind was filled with this kiss. She knew that even ten or twenty years from now, until the end of her life, she would remember this first kiss of her lifetime. But her body seemed completely drunk—she had no strength left at all, and finally had to lean entirely into Xie Chong's embrace, clinging to him.
Xie Chong felt an indescribable anger. He kept taking deep breaths, and only after a long while did he grip her shoulders and push her away, asking, "Is your roommate home? I'll walk you to the door."
Mu Wen shook her head, mumbling, "Not home, not home…"
Her brain seemed starved of oxygen, so much so that she couldn't keep her eyes open. She drifted into a drowsy sleep in Xie Chong's car. Later, she sensed him holding her with one arm while carrying her heavy backpack with the other. She felt him lean her against her front door and bend down to rummage through the bag for the keys. She heard him trying the keys one by one, only succeeding on the third try… She heard the lock click, and he stepped into her home.
Xie Chong carried Mu Wen into her apartment.
The room was pitch dark, with a faint floral scent in the air. The window must have been left open, because a cool draft blew through. He fumbled for the light switch, and Mu Wen, still somewhat aware, tried to help him find it. But she was only getting in the way—her arms were too heavy to lift, pressing painfully on his wrist.
"Don't move!" Xie Chong snapped at her, pinning both her hands with one of his, and finally managed to turn on the light.
He first saw a small, clean living room. There was a small dining table in the room, and on it sat a glass vase holding a single peony in full bloom. Some documents were scattered across the table, but Xie Chong had no time to look at them. He kicked off his own shoes, then stepped on the heels of hers to help her slip them off, and guided Mu Wen into the bedroom by feel.
He turned on the bedroom light.
There were two small, clean beds, separated by a long, narrow table. On the table were books, some small trinkets, and a vase. On it, Xie Chong spotted the little "Pixiu" piggy bank he had given Mu Wen. He guessed Mu Wen must sleep on the bed by the window, because on the pillow beside it lay a copy of Towards a New Architecture.
"Is it the bed by the window?" he asked Mu Wen.
Mu Wen didn't answer him, but she climbed onto her own bed.
Xie Chong noticed the cute kitten pattern on her socks, which matched her small floral country-style bedsheets. On her windowsill sat pots of small flowers, some in bloom, others lush with leaves. When the wind blew, the flowers swayed gently.
She lay down on the bed and fell asleep with ease.
Her face was flushed, and her eyelids were slightly swollen. She had really been crying just now.
This was the first time in Xie Chong's life that he had been alone in a woman's home. It was a warm, clean home with no secrets.
He closed the window for Mu Wen and drew the curtains, leaving a gap between the two panels. He thought that if something happened to her because she had drunk too much, or if she died suddenly at home, someone outside could spot her body through that gap—so it wouldn't rot and stink.
Just then, a phone rang from her backpack. She heard it and stirred slightly, half-awake. Even drunk, she worried it was a client calling and mumbled about answering the phone. Just as she was about to roll off the bed, Xie Chong grabbed her, pushed her back onto the bed, and went to find her phone for her.
He pulled out the phone and saw the red-and-white Nokia 5300. He remembered how she'd said she hadn't contacted him because she'd lost her phone. He hadn't planned to question it, thinking the excuse didn't hold up, but seeing her phone at this moment, he was even more certain that she had been brushing him off.
Xie Chong couldn't figure Mu Wen out.
Sometimes she was so genuine, and other times she completely put him out of her mind. He thought they were friends now—he had even been ready to offer his sincere heart to be good friends with her—but she didn't seem to care about him. That was fine; he wouldn't hold it against her. But then she kissed him, as if being friends with him wasn't her goal at all.
Xie Chong glanced at the phone. The caller ID read "Mom." Mu Wen was clearly in no state to take the call, and if she did, the elderly woman would only worry. So he declined the call and opened the messaging app to reply on her behalf: "I'm working overtime, I'll call you tomorrow!"
He mimicked her tone to send the message, then placed the phone by her pillow without looking at anything else on it.
He had originally planned to leave right away, but he was still worried about Mu Wen, so he left the bedroom door half-open and went to sit in her small living room. It was then that he saw what was on the table—some "casual writings" belonging to her and her roommate. Hers were fine-line sketches and reading notes; her roommate was probably a journalist, with "interview outlines" as her casual writings.
Mu Wen's reading notes were very neat. She seemed to jot down her thoughts whenever inspiration struck, page after page—the "foundation" she had built since leaving her small town. Her fine-line sketches showed no formal training, but they were full of talent. Her drawings of buildings were beautiful.
Xie Chong had previously thought about how Mu Wen had come from that place called "Yakeshi," and that behind her must have been countless practice problems and homework—a difficult, grueling path of study. Now all of that became tangible.
He couldn't be angry with Mu Wen.
No matter what her purpose was in getting close to him, he couldn't be angry with her. Because when he thought back carefully, it seemed that every meeting had been orchestrated by him in some way. She had never taken the initiative.
If she had a purpose, then he had willingly offered himself up to her. It was his own fault.
Xie Chong sat in the small living room until four in the morning. Mu Wen let out soft, even snores. Only when he was sure she would be fine did he get up and leave her little home.
The night had felt like a battle. He was exhausted, and when he got home, he buried his head under the covers and slept. At noon, he was woken by a call from Qian Song. Qian Song was angry because Xie Chong had promised to accompany him for gaming leveling the night before but never logged on. Qian Song asked if he had made other friends. Xie Chong said, "I don't have other friends."
"A girlfriend, then?"
"No girlfriend either."
Mu Wen woke up around noon. The moment she opened her eyes, she remembered what Lin Weisen had said. Even though Mu Wen didn't agree with it, she realized that this was how society worked. It was a society built on countless interpersonal relationships, and she couldn't exist independently of "connections."
She thought it over and decided to call a few colleagues.
She called Lin Weisen first. "Master, you're right. I've been so focused on work that I never thought about deliberately building good relationships with my colleagues. That's my problem. Master, how about I treat you all to dinner?"
Lin Weisen didn't seem surprised by Mu Wen's change. She had always been smart—she just needed a little guidance to become socially adept. That was Mu Wen's strength. Lin Weisen said they could eat that evening; he'd take the kids to the park in the afternoon.
"Great!" Mu Wen said. "Tonight, let's go to Golden Leopard! I've never been there!"
Lin Weisen hesitated a little.
Golden Leopard was too expensive for Mu Wen, but she said it was fine—Golden Leopard it was.
She then called Xiao Gu and the other three colleagues one by one.
As she counted out the money, she felt her heart bleeding. But then she reasoned with herself: listen to advice and you'll eat well. Next time she took on clients, if they didn't cause trouble, there would be far fewer problems.
She counted cash from her wallet: 100, 200, 300… The slower she counted, the slower her movements became… Was this a kind of compromise? She had no answer. Despite her confusion, she still treated everyone to Golden Leopard.
The dinner buffet required queuing, so she went early and let the others go shopping first, promising to call them when their table was ready. As she sat waiting in line, she watched parents running around with their children, old friends chatting energetically, couples holding hands and reading magazines… This was completely different from her life.
Her leisure life consisted of books from the bookstore and Guilin rice noodles on the way home. She had never relaxed enough to enjoy an "expensive" dinner like this—it seemed she truly never had.
Mu Wen envied these people, but didn't feel sorry for herself.
Anyway, she would have this kind of life sooner or later.
During the meal, Mu Wen didn't hide her appetite. Since the money was already spent, she had to eat well. She loved meat, so she went to get lamb chops, steak, shrimp, and crab. With all this food before her, she already felt satisfied inside.
She ate with relish, not mentioning a word about the stolen "Miss Li" matter, just chatting casually. She had always had a good personality, and there was no awkwardness while eating and talking. By the end of the meal, everyone was happy and stuffed.
"Buffet is so delicious," Mu Wen said. "I really love buffets."
Lin Weisen spoke up at this point: "Mu Wen has been officially with the company for a while now, but doesn't know everyone well enough yet. Look out for each other from now on. We're a team—we make money together."
When Lin Weisen said that, the others fell silent.
Mu Wen said, "Thank you, Master."
As they left the restaurant, the others had already gone, but Xiao Gu hadn't. She asked Mu Wen, "Spending so much money on a meal—will you have enough for the month?"
"Enough, enough. My monthly salary is over ten thousand; I can afford a meal." Mu Wen said, "Don't worry."
Xiao Gu made an "oh" sound, then comforted Mu Wen: "Engineer Mu, don't take the Miss Li matter to heart. To be honest, no one who survives in the workplace is simple. You must stay sharp—don't believe everything anyone says, because you never know who might turn against whom. I've been at this company a long time; I know they've made terrible scenes over promotions, raises, and money."
Mu Wen listened carefully to Xiao Gu, including her final words: "Even Engineer Lin… whatever he says, you should also…"
"I know, Xiao Gu." Mu Wen interrupted her. "Thank you."
Xiao Gu breathed a sigh of relief. "So don't be upset, you hear? You have to forget those nasty words and not care about them. Also…" Xiao Gu bit her lip, looking a bit troubled, but finally seemed to steel herself and said, "I honestly wish you really did have backing like they say—a big backing. There's nothing shameful about that."
Xiao Gu continued, "Having backing is also an ability. People always ask why I put up with so much at home… You know what, Engineer Mu, my life now is already much better than it was back in my hometown… I want it to be even better, but my ability only goes so far…"
Mu Wen stepped forward and hugged Xiao Gu. "I know you've worked hard and suffered. Life will definitely get better—for both of us."
Xiao Gu nodded at these words and returned the hug before leaving.
Mu Wen was released from a kind of "liveliness" and let out a long sigh.
Walking on the streets of late autumn, she didn't want to go home and didn't know where to go. Feeling a bit lost, she simply sat down on a bench by the roadside.
Then she thought of Xie Chong.
She finally thought of Xie Chong.
Mu Wen remembered kissing him, and remembered him seeing her home. Xie Chong was a very good person—he had shown her complete restraint and courtesy. He was probably the same with others.
She wanted to call Xie Chong, but remembered she didn't have his number. She thought about going to his home to find him, but was afraid he might bring up last night.
Mu Wen used to think she was capable of doing everything well; now she felt she was also capable of ruining everything.
She had only one thought in her heart: she wanted to see Xie Chong. Even if he would definitely bring up yesterday, even if he might never speak to her again—what did it matter? She had to go see him.
Mu Wen took the bus to Xie Chong's home.
She stood at the door, took a deep breath, and pressed the doorbell. She heard movement inside, and then Xie Chong opened the door.
"About last night… I… I'm sorry, I drank too much." Mu Wen finally understood why so many people "used alcohol as an excuse to act boldly"—alcohol was truly a good excuse.
"What about last night?" Xie Chong asked.
"I kissed you…"
"Really? You must be misremembering. That never happened." Xie Chong said. Then he moved to close the door, but Mu Wen slipped inside first, standing between him and the door, gazing at him intently.
"Xie Chong, I know you don't like me. That's alright," Mu Wen said. "I like you."
Her gaze met his bravely: "Yes, I like you."
Xie Chong couldn't help but furrow his brow slightly, and he let out a sigh.
"Don't say anything, Xie Chong. I know. I know everything."