Now then, I could have gone to “LABYRINTH” if I’d wanted to, but… getting a card and then immediately waltzing into a hostess club felt like a bit much, so I came home today.
”I should probably look into this world a bit more, huh…”
The laws here are different from my old world, after all… and if I can’t judge those differences properly, I feel like I’m going to run into all sorts of trouble.
”Phew – that was a good bath-WHOOOOOAAAAA!?” I screamed, nearly jumping out of my skin.
”What? The hell’s all the noise about…” a gruff voice rumbled.
Appearing out of nowhere was a bathrobe-clad figure – tanned skin, sunglasses, a hulking frame of over two meters packed with bulging muscle… that self-proclaimed angel from before.
”Oi, been a while, ain’t it,” he said casually.
”Uh, ‘a while’? It’s only been one day…” I replied, still catching my breath.
”Hm? Oh, right, I s’pose it has been. Since it’s only your second appearance, felt like a few days had passed, somehow,” he mused.
”Could you maybe not make those slightly meta comments?” I asked flatly.
”Right then, enough of that. I’ve come because there’s something I need to give you,” he announced.
”Haaah… I get that you’ve got business, but why are you using my bath!?” I demanded.
”Hmph. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it,” he said dismissively.
”There absolutely is!” I shot back.
Unfazed by my complaints, the self-proclaimed angel – who looked more like he belonged to a certain kind of profession – plopped down heavily onto the sofa.
”Anyway, I came to give you this,” he said, pulling something out.
”This is…?” I asked, leaning in.
What the self-proclaimed angel pulled out was some kind of platinum-colored card… and on it, there was a photo of me printed.
”This card, right – it’s a handy little thing that lets you build a harem,” he explained.
”Wait, hold on, what do you mean?” I asked, confused.
”Look it up yourself, then. Ah, but I s’pose I’ll explain it for you anyway,” he said with a shrug.
”How generous…” I muttered dryly.
This angel guy gets on my nerves with every single thing he does… but with that appearance, I’m not exactly eager to pick a fight.
”You know polygamy’s legal in this world, yeah?” he asked.
”Uh, yeah… I’ve heard that much,” I admitted.
”Well, normally you can have up to four wives. Any more than that, and you need special permission from the country,” he explained.
”Huh, I didn’t know the details…” I said.
”Right, to be blunt – it’s about money. You can add one more wife for every forty million yen in total assets you’ve got,” he clarified.
”I see… so unless you’re on some rich-list, it’s basically impossible, then,” I observed.
”Aye. But even with that, the max is ten wives,” he said.
”Even being able to go up to ten is still an insane amount of money though… so wait, this card is for that ten-person limit…?” I asked, my eyes widening.
”Don’t lump my gift in with something that cheap,” he scoffed.
”Geez…” I sighed.
”This card – after going through a tediously strict review process, only those who pass receive it. It removes the upper limit entirely. Well, the practical limit still depends on your assets, mind you,” he continued.
”Um… when you say ‘tediously strict review process’… I don’t remember applying for anything, though?” I asked warily.
”Of course you don’t. This is a gift from God,” he stated.
”Ah, right… that kind of thing,” I said, nodding slowly.
”I already interfered with the world’s past and submitted the application for you. No doubt about it – it’s genuine,” he assured me.
”Right… so, just out of curiosity, how many people actually have this card…?” I asked hesitantly.
”What? You’re the only one,” he replied bluntly.
”Right…” I said, feeling a chill run down my spine.
”Troublesome, but I’ll explain. First, to obtain this card – or rather, the right to polygamy – even for the standard four wives, there are requirements the man must meet,” he said, settling into his explanation.
”Requirements?” I asked.
”Aye. This was passed as a policy to combat the declining birthrate. So when a man marries multiple women, he must present a medical certificate proving he’s not infertile. If you are infertile, you can only marry one person – same as in your original world,” he explained.
”Ah… well, if it’s a birth rate countermeasure, I suppose that makes sense,” I acknowledged.
”Aye. Naturally, that also excludes men with ED or old coots who’ve dried up. Though if the ED can be treated, that’s fine,” he added.
”I see…” I nodded.
”Also, polyandry and same-s*x marriage are prohibited for harems. At the end of the day, this is a policy for increasing children. No matter how many men you’ve got, one woman can only give birth at a certain rate – so polyandry’s out. Same-s*x marriage, needless to say, makes no sense to fund since there’s no chance of childbirth,” he explained.
”Yeah, okay, I can accept that part,” I said.
”Also, this world has a 4:6 female-to-male ratio – more women, you see. But that’s neither here nor there. Next, for you to obtain this unlimited card… first, same as before – proof you’re not infertile. You must not be married during the review period. You need to have ten billion yen in assets by age thirty-nine. No criminal record. And this part is confidential, but during the review, you’ll be investigated by a specialized detective… they’re so strict that even a history of bullying will get your application rejected,” he continued.
”Wait, but if that’s the case, even with Red-san’s interference, wouldn’t I still fail…?” I asked, my voice rising.
”Right, to be honest, that part’s just God power,” he admitted.
”Right…” I said flatly.
”Anyway, that card’s yours. God said it’d be more interesting this way, is all,” he shrugged.
”So it’s for his amusement…?” I asked incredulously.
”God is basically always bored, you see,” he explained.
”Wait, shouldn’t a god be busy normally?” I asked.
”Not really. The lower-ranked beings handle all that. God rarely moves directly,” he said.
”R-right…” I stammered.
”And that’s exactly why you’re God’s entertainment,” he said with a grin.
”Right…” I sighed.
”Oh, and by the way – you met a working girl earlier, didn’t you?” he asked.
”Huh? Oh, yeah… I did meet one earlier today, actually…” I admitted.
”With that card, even your first visit to a place will get you VIP treatment. I’d recommend using it,” he suggested.
”Right…” I nodded absently.
”Oh, one more thing,” he added.
”There’s more…?” I groaned.
”Nothing big – just don’t go flashing that card around carelessly,” he warned.
”Huh?” I asked, confused.
”Having that card means you’ve got money. And money attracts all sorts of shady characters,” he explained.
”Ah… right. I’ll just stash it in my inventory then,” I said, deciding quickly.
”Aye, that’d be wise,” he agreed.
So I ended up with a dangerously unnecessary item… I shove it into my inventory. Dropping it would be bad, too…
”Oh, there was one more thing, actually,” he said.
”There’s still more!?” I exclaimed.
”Aye. All the tower mansions in this area are now your property. Use ’em however you like,” he announced casually.
”Wait, what?” I asked, my jaw dropping.
”Right then, see ya,” he said, waving.
”Hey, wait-!?” I called out.
And with that, the angel old man was enveloped in a blinding light once again… scattering a cloud of feathers as he vanished.
”…He just drops a bombshell like that and leaves!? And on top of that, I’ve gotta clean up all these feathers! What kind of garbage even is a feather!?” I shouted at the empty room.
Trivia:
- The angel’s casual use of the protagonist’s bath establishes an ongoing relationship where boundaries are routinely violated.
- God’s Northern English working-class dialect is explicitly stated in the parenthetical note within the source text itself.
- The harem card review process includes a detective investigation that checks for past bullying, showing the world takes this system seriously despite its absurdity.
- Red-san appears to have influence over divine matters, suggesting a hierarchy among the beings who interfered with the protagonist’s reincarnation.
- The 4:6 female-to-male ratio provides world-building context for why polygamy is encouraged in this society.
- The protagonist’s repeated “Right…” reactions establish a comedic pattern of exasperated acceptance.
- The tower mansion reveal is the final comedic escalation, turning the protagonist from a card recipient into an instant real estate owner.
- The feather cleanup punchline ties back to the angel’s dramatic entrance and exit, forming a visual gag loop.
- The author’s note requests “likes, bookmarks, and ratings,” indicating this is part of a serialized web novel platform.