She knew that Madam Jiang had always wanted the best for her throughout her life.
A marriage without a mother's blessing could never be a good one.
In this lifetime, she was determined to choose a marriage that would satisfy both herself and Madam Jiang.
After sitting with Madam Jiang for a while, Xue Ning felt exhausted and took her leave, preparing to return to Qiyun Pavilion.
But just as she lifted the curtain, she bumped headfirst into a broad chest.
Wincing in pain, she pressed her hand to her forehead and looked up.
There stood Su Zhan, draped in a heavy cloak outside the door, though she had no idea how long he had been there.
Instantly tense, she took a step back, only to accidentally catch her heel on the threshold, losing her balance.
It was Su Zhan who reached out and steadied her by the waist.
“Why are you so careless?”
That familiar feeling from her past life instantly washed over Xue Ning.
Her eyes suddenly misted over, and she felt utterly overwhelmed. Flustered, she struggled free from the man’s embrace and stood three paces away, hastily curtsying. “When did Brother Lu return?”
Su Zhan’s brows furrowed almost imperceptibly.
He had been back for a while and had overheard the words “sibling affection.” After that, he hadn’t entered the room.
Later, he heard his mother mention arranging a match for her and Aman.
He wanted to know her answer, which was why he had returned to the doorway.
He never expected to hear her say, “I’ll marry whomever Mother chooses for me.”
No wonder she had dared to make such a bold request in front of Grandmother—she had already planned her escape route.
The Xue family had all died in battle, leaving only a distant uncle and cousin stationed at the border.
In the end, her marriage would be decided by his mother.
When the time came, if she cried and insisted on marrying him, how could his mother refuse to help her?
At this thought, Su Zhan frowned helplessly.
He saw Xue Ning as a younger sister, with no romantic feelings whatsoever.
This girl was still too young, not yet grown up.
Once she matured and met the many outstanding men out there, she would no longer fix her thoughts on him.
“I’ve been back for a while.”
“Then…”
Xue Ning was actually quite worried that he had heard her words.
But upon further reflection, he probably didn’t care at all.
“Then I’ll return to my room to rest now. Please make yourself at home, Brother Lu.”
Seeing the mist gathering in the young girl’s eyes,
he couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to her these past two days. Whenever she saw him, she seemed to avoid him like the plague, on the verge of tears.
Pitiful, just like when she first arrived at the Marquis’s residence.
Even his hardened heart softened a little. He reached out a large hand and gently ruffled Xue Ning’s hair.
“The weather is cold. You fell into the water just yesterday, so you should rest properly in your room today. Don’t be so reckless.”
Though Su Zhan’s actions were gentle and his gaze kind,
Xue Ning still tensed up, her scalp tingling with unease.
She stood rigidly in place, unresponsive for a long moment.
Su Zhan curled his lips and pinched her soft cheek. “Go back and rest.”
Xue Ning nodded hurriedly and turned to run outside.
Watching the girl’s flustered retreat, Su Zhan felt a slight sense of amusement and stepped into Madam Jiang’s room.
…
Back in Qiyun Pavilion, Xue Ning pressed a hand to her chest, the faint scent of agarwood from the man’s clothes still lingering in her nostrils.
Her heart felt heavy and sad. It took her a long while to calm down before she snapped back to reality with frustration.
Even though she desperately wanted to stay away from him, why did she keep running into him?
She feared he still looked down on her from the bottom of his heart, thinking she was willingly degrading herself, fawning over him like a dog.
Bao Chan helped her take off the fox fur cloak, smiling as she said, "Is the young lady still savoring the moment?"
Xue Ning was chilled to the bone, her head still buzzing.
She sat down on the warming brazier, hoping to warm herself up.
But as soon as she drew near, her mind filled with the image of the great fire at the old residence in Yongzhou.
It was too painful… When the fire broke out, she couldn’t struggle at all. Nothing was more terrifying than that.
Feeling weak, she stepped back a few paces and murmured blankly, "Savoring what?"
Bao Chan teased, "Savoring the Shizi’s actions just now."
Xue Ning pursed her lips slightly, rubbing her face that felt both hot and cold. "I wasn’t…"
Bao Chan chuckled. "This servant can tell—the Shizi isn’t without feelings for you. He just doesn’t realize yet that he likes you."
Xue Ning’s gaze grew distant. If this were her past life, she might have believed Bao Chan’s words.
But the endless despair she felt before her death still lingered in her heart.
She thought of that great fire, of those hundreds of letters from home, and felt nothing but sorrow.
"You’re mistaken. He doesn’t like me, and he never will."
"Young lady, don’t say that—"
Xue Ning cut her off. "Bao Chan, I have a headache. I’m going to sleep now."
Bao Chan asked, "Aren’t you having dinner?"
"No appetite. I won’t eat."
Xue Ning removed her outer robe and lay down on the canopy bed.
Bao Chan held the snow-dampened fox fur cloak, peering anxiously into the bed curtains.
Oh dear—the person nestled in the embroidered quilt was exquisitely beautiful, with delicate features as lovely as a painting of a noble lady. Yet her cheeks were flushed red, and her forehead seemed to radiate heat.
Bao Chan reached out to touch her young lady’s forehead. Sure enough, she was feverish again!
Given her awkward position in the Marquis’s residence, the young lady had never voluntarily called for a doctor whenever she fell ill since childhood.
Only when Madam Jiang intervened could she receive medical attention.
Minor illnesses could naturally be endured.
But the young lady’s constitution was weak. After falling into the water yesterday, if this fever persisted, her mind might even be damaged.
Bao Chan, lacking in decisiveness, grew frantic with worry. She hung the fox fur cloak on the rosewood clothes rack and hurried out of Qiyun Pavilion, rushing toward Madam Jiang’s Qiushui Garden.
…
Xue Ning slept deeply, her entire body feeling as if it were submerged in water.
One moment she was freezing to death, the next she was burning up.
Her whole body ached, and she felt utterly miserable. In her dazed state, she seemed to drift into a dream.
The scenes in the dream were bizarre and surreal—one moment it was her wedding hall with Su Zhan, the next it was Madam Jiang’s funeral hall.
Alone, dressed in mourning clothes, she knelt before Madam Jiang’s funeral altar. Hearing Su Zhan’s icy words, "jinx," her eyes blinked, and tears streamed down uncontrollably.
She wanted to explain herself, but when she looked up, she saw Xie Ningtang standing beside the man, dressed in a bright red wedding gown.
The man’s aura was as cold as snow on the Tianshan Mountains—sharp, solemn, and carrying an air of unapproachable nobility.
Yet when he glanced sideways at Xie Ningtang, his gaze was filled with indulgence and tenderness.
Xue Ning smiled sweetly and called her "sister," asking if she would allow her to enter the residence as Su Zhan’s concubine.
Of course, she refused, gritting her teeth as she rejected the request.
The next moment, Xie Ningtang’s cotton-white skirt was stained with blood.
"My child… Shizi brother… my child is gone."
She collapsed weakly into Su Zhan’s arms, her eyelashes wet with tears, her small face pale as a ghost.
Xue Ning realized what was happening and stammered helplessly to Su Zhan, "I didn’t… I didn’t push Xie Ningtang!"
But the man holding Xie Ningtang wouldn't listen to her explanation. Furious, he kicked her to the ground, then scooped Xie Ningtang into his arms. Looking down at her from above, his face seemed covered in a layer of frost, the cold severity in his eyes making her scalp tingle.
"Whether you pushed her or not, I saw it with my own eyes."
"Could I have been mistaken?"
"Xue Ning, get out of here!"