The man’s tone was icy, his gaze filled with disgust.
Each word felt like a sharp blade, stabbing deep into her heart.
Clutching her aching lower abdomen, she lifted her pale face, watching the man’s retreating figure as tears streamed down her cheeks.
For some reason, the scene suddenly shifted—she lay limp on the bed.
Bao Chan was nearly weeping herself to death beside her.
“Miss… your child… is gone too.”
“Wh… what?”
Bao Chan’s words left her bewildered.
During those days, she had merely lost her appetite, feeling nauseous at the thought of food.
And because Xie Ningtang was pregnant with Su Zhan’s child, she had been too terrified to sleep night after night.
She had always thought it was her own body failing her, never imagining that she, too, carried Su Zhan’s child.
Their marital relations had been few. Not long ago, only once, when the man had returned drunk and barely conscious.
It was that one time…
She stared blankly at her flat stomach.
For a moment, she couldn’t even cry.
“Miss, wake up.”
“Miss, are you having a nightmare?”
“The Shizi is here to see you, please wake up…”
Bao Chan’s voice drifted in and out, distant and near.
In her dream, Xue Ning was still fixated on her belly. She climbed out of bed to look at the blood-stained dress hanging on the rack.
That was her child…
The child who had not yet taken shape, kicked away by its own father.
Xue Ning stared dazedly at the darkened bloodstains.
Tears flowed uncontrollably.
She kept wiping the wetness from her face, but the tears seemed unstoppable.
No matter how many times she wiped them away, they soon fell again.
“I’m sorry…”
“My child, your mother is sorry…”
“Miss, what nonsense are you saying!”
Bao Chan anxiously leaned over Xue Ning’s bedside. Seeing her crying like a drowned woman, she awkwardly glanced back at the man standing by the bed. “Shizi… my lady must be having a nightmare, that’s why she’s talking nonsense…”
Su Zhan gave her a cold glance and sat on the edge of the bed. “Bring the medicine.”
Bao Chan pressed her lips together. “Yes.”
Only then did Su Zhan extend a large hand to touch Xue Ning’s sweat-dampened forehead.
The young girl was crying bitterly, murmuring “mother” and “child” over and over, apologizing with every word.
How old was she? What messy thoughts filled her mind every day?
Growing increasingly impatient, he pulled her up from the bed and leaned her against his chest.
Bao Chan tremblingly brought in the medicine bowl. Su Zhan reached out to take it, pried open Xue Ning’s cherry lips, and poured the medicine directly inside.
Bao Chan parted her lips, wanting to speak but holding back.
Su Zhan remained expressionless. Seeing the medicine spill, he used his thumb to wipe Xue Ning’s lips.
She had been raised in luxury since childhood, her skin unbelievably soft and tender.
Her originally pale lips turned red from his forceful grip, so delicate they seemed to glisten.
Su Zhan furrowed his cold brows, his fingers stiffening slightly.
Yet he showed no mercy, pouring the remaining medicine into the woman’s mouth.
Xue Ning was jolted awake by the intense bitterness.
She curled her body, unaware of where she was, only feeling so bitter she wanted to vomit.
After retching until she was nearly empty, she realized she was lying against someone, her chest pressed against a dark, ink-black brocade sleeve embroidered with golden cloud patterns.
She froze, her gaze slowly rising until she saw a familiar handsome face and those deep, dark phoenix eyes.
“Brother Lu, why are you—”
She snapped back to reality and hurriedly sat up straight.
Her gaze fell on the man's clothes, now soiled by her, and her face flushed crimson once more.
"I'm sorry… I… I didn't mean to… It's just the medicine was too bitter… Bao Chan, quick, fetch a handkerchief."
"Yes."
Su Zhan took the handkerchief Bao Chan handed over, wiping away the mess she had vomited with a troubled heart.
Bao Chan wanted to step forward to help, but remembering that the Shizi had always kept his distance from women—not even keeping a capable maidservant by his side—she awkwardly halted her movement.
Su Zhan stood up and glanced back at Xue Ning.
The young girl was shrinking her head, lost in thought, her small, palm-sized face flushed red—whether from the fever or from embarrassment, it was hard to tell.
He couldn't help but dislike these little tricks of hers.
In the past, she had often found ways to draw his attention.
Now, within just a day or two, she had managed to fall into the water and come down with a fever.
For a young lady like her, barely past her coming-of-age ceremony, to have such an active mind was not a good thing.
Su Zhan's eyes darkened with a hint of coldness. "Since you're awake, it seems you're not in any serious condition."
Xue Ning wished Su Zhan would leave as soon as possible. "Brother Lu, I feel much better now, and my mind is clearer too."
"That's good," Su Zhan replied indifferently, his gaze fixed on her.
Xue Ning felt uncomfortable under the weight of his penetrating stare.
After a long moment, Su Zhan reminded her, "Xue Ning, you're growing older. After all, I am not your blood brother. In the future, don't bring trivial matters like falling ill or having a fever to my attention."
Xue Ning's face instantly paled.
"I…"
She wanted to say she hadn't deliberately brought it to his attention.
But after a moment's thought, she resigned herself and said, "Alright, I understand. I won't do it again."
Su Zhan gave a cold "Hmm" in response, instructed Bao Chan to take good care of her, then casually tossed the handkerchief onto the incense burner before leaving the bedchamber.
Xue Ning let out a sigh of relief, the bitter taste of the cold medicine still lingering in her throat.
Recalling his earlier words, an indescribable ache welled up in her heart.
Bao Chan approached nervously, wringing her hands. "Miss, I'm sorry."
Xue Ning forced a pale smile. "What does this have to do with you?"
Bao Chan bit her pale lips. "If I hadn't taken matters into my own hands, you wouldn't be feeling so miserable now… If Madam Jiang hadn't gone to bed early, I wouldn't have sought out the Shizi… Miss… I didn't know he would say such things… Miss… please don't take it to heart…"
Though her heart ached with a dull pain, Xue Ning had long since come to terms with Su Zhan's attitude toward her, so it wasn't as agonizing as it might have been.
She curved her lips into a soft smile. "Don't say any more. I vomited most of the medicine earlier. For your young lady to recover sooner, go and brew another bowl for me."
Seeing that Xue Ning didn't appear upset, Bao Chan quickly smiled and said, "Alright, I'll go right away."
Xue Ning was no longer sleepy, though her head still throbbed faintly.
Despite the discomfort Su Zhan's words had stirred in her heart, she mustered her strength and got out of bed.
Outside the window lattice, the cold wind howled, sweeping snowflakes in its wake.
The withered branches of the peach tree swayed in the wind.
Heavy snow weighed down the branches, and it was uncertain when spring would arrive.
She coughed lightly, walked to the writing desk, took out a sheet of letter paper, and began writing a letter to her uncle, who was far away at Yongxue Pass.
Given a second chance, her marriage to Su Zhan would never come to pass.
Her uncle and cousin would no longer need to return to Dongjing ahead of time.
Thus, the matter of Cousin's marriage with Su Xi was temporarily set aside for the time being.
After folding the letter and slipping it into the envelope,
Bao Chan had already brought in the bowl of medicine.