The three of us settle around Shitori’s desk, with Kaori standing on it directly as we get started, and I can feel the curious gazes of the other student council members surely wondering what I want with these two high society devils.
Unfortunately all my medical skills didn’t come with presentation skills, I’ve never had to defend my PhD thesis despite having all the knowledge that must have gone into getting one.
“Right, so,” I cough a little bit to clear my throat, “You know I’ve been having weird stuff appear around me lately.
That statue, Kaori and Saeko, stuff like that.
And it’s come with knowledge too, like the kung fu.
Well, yesterday I also got a bunch of medical knowledge.
Like I’m a doctor from the future,” I gesture vaguely at my head to encompass the kind of strange knowledge I’ve gained.
They don’t interrupt me, so under their expectant gazes I continue while reaching into the bag I’ve brought along so I can take my laptop out, placing it on the desk next to Kaori and booting it up.
“All that knowledge isn’t doing any good locked up in my head though, I can’t practice medicine, I don’t have a lab I can produce things out of.
But Kaori had the idea that with your devil contracts you might have contacts with actual doctors or researchers that could actually make use of it.” The computer’s started up now, so I open the file I was working on last night and turn it so both Rias and Shitori can see the screen.
“This is what I was working on last night, it’s a medicine that restores the brain’s ability to connect and form memories.
Basically it’s a cure for dementia.” I hear a gasp from one of the student council girls, and I wonder if she’s just impressed I could come up with something like that, or maybe it’s something she has a personal experience with.
My grandparents are in fine shape for now at least, but they are getting older.
Rias and Shitori are both looking at the screen, and while I don’t expect them to recognise the meaning of the molecular diagram for Shonoclactrase, just the fact there’s that much detail should help convince them this is legit.
It’s the student council president who speaks up first, her glasses gleaming as she fixes her gaze on me.
“I can do better than that, Onano-kun.
The Sitri family owns several hospitals and research institutes, both in the underworld and on earth.
We’re uniquely well suited to test this knowledge and take advantage if it bears fruit.” Oh damn, I guess I underestimated the reach of devils.
Rias looks a little bit vexed as she crosses her arms and says, “The Gremory family’s business is more in entertainment and hospitality, so Sona-chan’s better for this kind of thing.” Meanwhile Kaori is staring up at Shitori… or Sitri?
It that like a romanization?
I thought she was Japanese and Rias was European, but if they’re both devils who knows?
“Sitri,” the small blonde fairy repeats, before speaking like she’s reciting something.
“The twelfth demon listed in the Lesser Key of Solomon, he inflames love for the opposite gender, and can make people bare themselves naked.” There’s a slight pinkness on Shitori’s cheeks while I just give Kaori a weak glare.
“Are you going to do this every time?” “Does this mean the President can help us get boyfriends?” one of the student council girls whispers to another in the background, and I’ve got a feeling Kaori’s caused more trouble than she knows with her occult lore-drop.
“You should be glad I’m so well informed, you’d be going into everything blind otherwise!” the unrepentant fairy glares back at me.
“Ahem,” Sitri, I suppose I’m going to have to just memorise the new name, except I probably shouldn’t call her that in public, anyway the devil student council president coughs into her hand and says, “I am familiar with the works of Solomon, but it presents a very shallow and outdated view of my household.” Rias is nodding too, I guess she didn’t appreciate the Gremory lore-drop we got a couple days ago either.
“Anyway, can we maybe get back on topic here?” I ask before Kaori can try asking about more current grimoires on notable devil figures.
“The medicine?
What’ll it take to get it tested and put in production?” “If this does what you say it does it could be revolutionary.
And you know other undiscovered medicines as well?” she looks at me and I nod, before she asks, “Are you sure you aren’t interested in joining-” “Sona!” Rias slaps her palm on the desk in interruption, a fierce look on her face.
“I’m sorry, you’re right.
You did ask first,” Sitri settles back down in her seat.
“Although you should really think about making a decision, Onano.
Once it becomes more widely known what you can do, you might see more forceful interest come your way.
As for this medicine, I could buy-” “License,” she’s interrupted again, this time by Kaori who crosses her arms and gives Sitri her own fierce look.
“He was so happy I gave him five thousand yen last night it was pathetic, you could buy this for a million and he’d think himself clever while you go on to make hundreds of billions selling this wonder-drug.” I appreciate the defence of my financial interests, but she did not have to say I was pathetic like that.
“I mean, I was gonna say there needs to be some kind of percentage here, I’m not that dumb,” I say, trying not to come off as sulky.
“Although I’m not like, sure how to do this all properly.
Like the government might have questions if I’m suddenly pulling in all this money out of nowhere.” “I can help with that!” Rias excitedly volunteers, reaching over and grabbing my hand, which makes me a bit nervous.
It’s not sweaty, is it?
She’s smiling wide as she says, “I can help you set up a front company through Gremory Enterprises, it’ll make sure Sona-chan’s contract is fair and you won’t have any trouble with taxes either.” I mean, that would be really useful to me!
Hopefully Rias wouldn’t screw me over like she’s implying Sitri might, but she’s been really nice so far, and who couldn’t trust that smile?
I shift my hand a little in hers, not really clasping it back but my thumb does press against the skin between her own thumb and forefinger… I felt more when carrying her away from PE yesterday, but still.
Holding hands!
How far I’ve come.
“I mean, I won’t turn down the help, but you’re really able to go that far?” I ask, holding myself back from more bluntly asking ‘what’s in it for you?’ which is kind of the implication.
“It’s fine,” she insists.
“Obviously I’ll take a small cut of the profits you make out of this, so we’ll all benefit.
And if I can get the Gremory family to build its presence in medicine, it’ll actually be really good for me.” Still smiling, she shifts her hand around mine so we’re able to shake hands and she pumps hers up and down while I reflexively squeeze back before we let go of each other.
“So you’re both double-teaming me, hmm?” Sitri smiles wryly, as I feel my own smile widen at the thought of double-teaming the student council president, but I keep that one safely inside my head, and fortunately Toujou isn’t around to call me out.
“I’ll have to do some research of my own, and speak to my father, but a provisional-” “President!” it is just not Sitri’s day for getting interrupted, is it?
Even worse, I seem to have summoned the devil by thinking of her, as the first year Koneko Toujou barges into the student council room and gets to have three extra-curricular presidents looking her way.
“There’s trouble outside.
Nanael’s back.” That gets us on our feet, and everyone books it outside… except for Kaori, who gets left behind in the rush, and I don’t think she can fly after us without making herself sufficiently noticeable it’d break her stealth spell.
Sorry Kaori, I’m too caught up in the flow to go back for you now!
Not like she can do much if this turns into a fight.
Though seeing Toujou I’m reminded of that one spell she showed off yesterday morning and wonder if it’d work on Nanael.
Unfortunately however as I enter the courtyard with all the assembled devils, I can see that she’s the least of my problems.
Because she’s brought a posse, and among them I can see a cute blonde girl with twintails wearing a black dress with white lace and ruffles.
She is hot, you can’t say I didn’t punch above my weight graduating with a girl like that, but the personality leaves a lot to be desired.
Half the school looks to be out here, students all watching with the excitement of seeing some kind of drama, teachers or any other kind of authority nowhere in sight.
Yeah, the more I look, the more it’s blatantly obvious that the student council devils really do just run the school in every respect, huh?
Nanael is wearing some kind of heavy cream-coloured cloak, only exposing her head and her armoured boots as she haughtily looks over the schoolyard, eyes fixing on Rias in particular as we emerge.
“Good, you’re not too cowardly to accept my challenge!” she declares loudly.
There’s enough of a crowd around I can hear the questions circulating amidst the student body.
People wondering if this is a delinquent gang leader come to challenge the school like in some kind of anime.
I’m hanging back a little bit myself next to Toujou and the other student council girls while Rias, Sitri, and Shinra take point approaching Nanael and her squad.
In addition to Mittelt there’s a hot looking older woman in a sweater dress, a creepy looking guy in a trenchcoat and fedora, and a super cute black haired girl in a frilly blouse and skirt.
“You’re really doing this out in the open where everyone can see?” I’m close enough to hear Rias’s strained voice as she stops in front of Nanael’s group.
“I’m not here to for the fight, this is just the challenge,” Nanael retorts, before looking over Rias’s shoulder at the now kind of crowded schoolyard, “But if you want to discuss the details out of sight of everyone else, I don’t mind.” Surprisingly Mittelt speaks up with a saccharine deferential note in her voice, “That’d be best, Nanael-sama, I don’t like the looks we’re getting,” she simpers, before her lips split into a fangy grin and her eyes lock onto mine.
“Especially from that big fat brute over there!” she points directly at me so there’s no misunderstanding, “Kyuhuhu, he looks like the kind of predator that forces himself on smaller women!
I can feel him violating me with his eyes!” Despite the fact she’s clearly on the opposite side, solidarity between women means I’m immediately on the receiving end of scathing looks from all directions.
Toujou pointedly takes a big sideways step away from me.
Did we not just solve this exact same kind of character assassination in homeroom earlier?!
“Hey!” a voice booms out from the side, Matsuda rolling up his sleeves and glaring at me as he shoves his way through the crowd.
“You’ve got some nerve throwing your weight around and intimidating cute girls like that!” The infamous pervert actually seems to be getting some approving nods, the psychology of the crowd giving him credit while everyone’s fixated on the obvious enemy that is me.
He straightens his shoulders and pushes his chest out, clearly enjoying being on the right side for once.
“If anyone’s gonna be tapping that fine dubiously legal loligoth ass it’s gonna be me!” And then he ruins it and several girls start hitting him.
I don’t want to say he’s too late either, that’s just going to dig myself deeper.
“The bar is down there,” Toujou points at where Matsuda has fallen down under the determined punches and kicks of aggrieved Kuoh students, “But you just managed to clear it, fatty.” “This is turning into a circus,” Rias complains, giving Mittelt a well deserved dirty look for instigating all of this.
“Fine, we can talk things out in my club room so long as you don’t cause any more trouble.” Nanael and her group seem agreeable to that and they start to head towards the old school building with the student council president and vice president.
Toujou and I follow along too of course, she’s one of Rias’s devil group, and I’m involved since I summoned Nanael, so there’s no objection to my presence as we head into the Gremory peerage headquarters.
“Eeeek, the molester’s following us!” Okay, no objection from anyone who hasn’t already made her feelings clear.
“Of course he is, he’s been here the whole time,” Nanael gives Mittelt a weird look and points at the guy in the coat and fedora who gives her an offended look back.
“Everyone’s just saving your ass today by somehow looking even worse, fatty,” Mittelt drops her overdone screeching and just gives me a huffy glare.
At my other side Toujou twitches and says, “I’m sorry, Onano-senpai.” It seems she’s not interested in having small girl solidarity with a fallen angel.
I give the first year a grateful nod before shooting my own dirty look at Mittelt, “Why are you being such a bitch, anyway?” I ask, seeing no reason for all the horrible implications she’s been suggesting about me.
With a smug look back at me, “Maybe I want to see if you’ll punish me again, Daddy.” Now everyone’s looking at her and she clearly soaks up the attention, “That’s right!
This big brutish beast of a man forced himself on me the other night, and even when I cried and screamed that he was raping me, he shut me up by threatening me with a gun!” Urgh.
I feel my heart sink into my feet as she just says it all in the worst possible way which is unfortunately adjacent enough to the truth that I can’t just call her a liar.
Shocked and appalled looks come at me from every direction.
Despite the fact it’s obvious she was into it from the Daddy line, the rest of it is so horrifying there’s no way my image can ever recover.
Actually Nanael doesn’t look appalled, she looks smug and delighted as she points at me.
“Wait, with him?
That’s the guy I heard you making all that noise with?
This pig-faced monkey?
Ahahahaha!” she doubles over in laughter, her feet actually lifting off the ground as she floats there laughing hysterically.
“Oh my god!” I swear, causing everyone except Nanael to flinch while the angel just keeps on laughing in the face of my taking the lord’s name in vain, “It’s not like she’s making it out at all, she asked-” Recovered enough from her flinch, the black haired girl in Nanael’s group interrupts, “He’s one of those men that say women are asking for it!” while perfectly embodying the image of a doe-eyed innocent fearful of my depravity.
Forget my feet, my heart is in the floor now as I try to work up a rebuttal to this monstrous character assassination, but salvation comes as Sitri of all people raises her voice in full student council president authoritarian mode.
“That’s enough!” she declares, even Nanael stopping her laughter as everyone looks her way.
“It’s clear we’re getting an unbalanced story here, but I don’t care, Onano-kun’s love life isn’t why we’re here.
Nanael if you can’t control your follower from picking fights then she can wait outside.” I look at Rias, worried over her impression of all of this, but she’s glaring at Mittelt rather than me so that’s a good sign.
In response Nanael chops her gloved hand down on Mittelt’s head, causing the blonde to double over with a squawk.
“That’s right Loligoth, no one cares about your freaky sex life anyway you gross little creep.” That settles things down enough for us to get the rest of the way to the occult research club room in peace, though Mittelt does wink and stick her tongue out at me when our eyes meet.
I won’t say it’s not cute, but seriously fuck this landmine of a girl.
The way everyone’s lined up, I’m standing with the devils facing Nanael’s contingent, even if technically I’d be neutral.
Well, not really neutral, I know who I like most here, but between devils and (fallen) angels I’m the representative of baseline humanity.
Rias takes the lead as she asks, “So you wanted to make a challenge?” “Yes!” Nanael nods in reply, dramatically tossing off her cloak so we can see her mismatched wings and her cute little white dress.
The woman in the sweater dress scurries off to the side to pick up the cloak from where it lands.
“You devils have been trampling this town under your evil boots for too long, hoarding all the cute boys at this sinful school of yours!
So I, the beautiful angel of light Nanael, have come to deliver them salvation and the chance to find worth loving and serving me!” I swear the sound of confused blinking from Sitri and Shinra is audible.
Rias and Toujou at least have an idea of what Nanael’s all about, and the fallen angels seem completely inured to her whole deal.
“Ah, I mean if you were looking for boys, this school isn’t really the best…” Shinra of all people finds her voice first, speaking in an uncharacteristically hesitant tone for her.
“Don’t try and weasel out of it!” Nanael dramatically points back at the student council vice president.
“I’ve heard all about the goldmine of talented boys you’re sitting on, and I’m not letting you get away with it any longer!
We’re going to do this properly, and I’m challenging you for the title of Queen of Kuoh!” “Well it’s true I am a queen, but…” Shinra turns a flustered look towards Sitri, who sighs and steps forward.
“And why should we entertain this foolishness?” she asks coldly.
“Because it’s a proper and legitimate challenge,” Nanael puts her hands on her hips, uncowed by the force of student council authority.
“I’m not going to run wild attacking everything you own to get at you, we’re going to have a proper Queens Blade tournament.
I heard you devils have something similar with your rating games, so you understand why this is the proper way to do things.
If anyone kills their opponent that’s an immediate disqualification, and I’ll even bring along a magic healer that can take care of people between rounds so there’s no whining about how you weren’t at your best when I beat you.” A tournament?
Shit, this is getting interesting!
I’m into this!
“A tournament?” Rias asks on perhaps a similar wavelength.
“So it won’t just be you?” Nanael nods and gestures to her followers.
“These weaklings can enter too, I’ll be training them hard so they won’t be so pathetic when it starts, and you can enter your whole peerages.
But in the end there can only be one Queen of Kuoh that everyone has to acknowledge as the victor!” She grins proudly after her speech and adds, “Which will be the great Nanael, of course.” Rias and Sitri look at each other, who knows what calculation passing between that gaze, but I take my chance to butt in.
“Hey does it have to be Queen of Kuoh or can we get a more gender neutral title?” “Jiro-kun?!” Rias whips her head around to look at me in surprise, but I just grin back at her.
“C’mon, an actual supernatural fighting tournament?
There’s no way I could miss this!” Saeko might want to enter as well actually.
Kaori?
Well, the title and prestige might appeal, but I can’t see her winning a fight.
“Obviously the winner’s going to be me so it’s going to be a queen in the end, but boys can enter too, we’ll call it Monarch of Kuoh if it makes you feel better,” Nanael surprisingly gives me her blessing.
But then she makes sure to add, “Don’t think I’ll be impressed even if you fight well though, you’re not my type at all!” I can see Mittelt giving me a little wave from behind Nanael.
The mixed messages are off the fucking charts with this girl.
Rias and Sitri then go back to staring at each other for a moment before sharing minute nods turning towards Nanael.
“As the legitimate overseers of Kuoh, we’re willing to accept your tournament, Nanael.
But not without conditions.
First of all, it wouldn’t do to make Kuoh open to anyone in the supernatural world who saw an opening, so entry to the tournament will be restricted only to individuals already in Kuoh as of today,” Sitri starts off, which I guess means if I happen to summon a really good ringer before the tournament they’ll have to sit it out.
Nanael just makes a noise that might be agreement, she clearly doesn’t care about the chances of anyone winning but herself no matter what happens.
“And also as the challenger you need to bring something to make it worth it to us,” Sitri finishes with a condition that gets a more negative reaction from her angelic counterpart.
“Tch, you greedy devils, I should have known,” Nanael glares at them as if they’re being unreasonable.
“I mean if you win you won’t have to pay up, and since you’re so confident…” Rias picks up with a sunny smile.
“But if you lose… well, whichever party out of mine and Sona-chan’s peerages beat you, you have to submit yourself to joining that peerage.” “… good luck Tsubaki-senpai, I’ll be rooting for you,” Toujou whispers, getting a strained smile back from the vice president.
The fallen angel troupe looks a bit shocked at this themselves, looking among each other and then at Nanael.
“I’ve heard of fallen angels reincarnating, but for an angel to go straight to devil in one move?” the blue-haired one murmurs.
“Nanael-sama, are you sure this is wise?” “Hah!” Nanael maintains her impressive confidence however, “Trying to corrupt an angel into servitude, you devils really are shameless!
I’ll be sure to remember this when you kneel before me as your new queen!” And that’s it decided.
The challenge made and accepted.
The fate of Kuoh, and of Nanael herself, set to be decided next Sunday.
Maybe that day’s significant for an angel, but it also means the school will be emptied out so we can use the gymnasium as the fighting arena, and Nanael’s healer will be here by then.
Gives a bit over a week to train… or for me to you know, play with my dick and see what it summons that might help.
Though I do still need to work on the medicine angle, not to mention midterms are the week after that.
It’s gonna be busy!
As it is once Nanael’s group leave we barely have time to get back to the student council office where Kaori and the other student council girls are now gossiping and quickly get them caught up while I scarf down my lunch, as all that running around means we don’t have long before classes resume.
Sitri never takes a break though.
“I’ll send someone to your club room after school tomorrow with a provisional contract for your medicine, I’ll understand if you want to discuss it with your manager first of course,” her voice is dry, though Rias herself has gone off to have her own lunch or catch up with her peerage about all these developments.
“Yeah, unless I suddenly get lawyer knowledge dropped into my head I’ll probably have to do that,” I answer with a nervous chuckle, lowering my almost empty lunchbox.
Kaori managed to mooch off the student council girls by just having a tiny bit from their own lunches which spread across the group was more than enough to fill a fairy’s belly.
“One last thing,” she says, her voice becoming even more severe.
“I hope this has shown you that no matter how alluring they can look, fallen angels are more trouble than they’re worth.
Even with your reputation at school, you can do better.” That’s almost sweet but also incredibly mortifying.
“Uh, right.
Thanks, yeah,” I say awkwardly, starting to pack up my stuff so I can get the hell out of this whole awkward situation.
Unfortunately I’m not quick enough before Kaori’s words put the student council office into pandemonium.
“I just can’t believe I missed my chance to meet this elegant girl who took Jiro-kun’s virginity!”